This is For Real
by Lil' Ms. I-Like-Girls
Summary: What happens when an awkward Spencer is forced to be in a play with the girl of her dreams? Can her heart handle the pressure of being so close? Read to find out...Rated T for now, might be M later on. Let the shenanigans begin!
1. You Did What!

**I do not own SON!!! You happy! I said it**

Is there anything more agonizing than a cold miserable Monday morning?

No there isn't. I can't think of anything more agonizing when your alarm rings at exactly 5:35 am, letting you know that its time to get your worthless hide out of bed. I can't think of anything more agonizing when you only have two brain cells operating the way they're supposed to at such an early hour of day. I'll need a cup of Joe just to jump start the rest. I groan and start getting dressed for another scholastic day. I loathe school. To be specific, I hate King High. It's full of posers and losers who have nothing better to do than pick on other people who may be different than them. I sound harsh, don't I? Well, harsh is reality biting you in the ass everyday reminding you that you're different and no one understands you.

I'm bitter, I know.

I thought it was supposed to be humid in California and yet the worst has happened: I've lost all feeling in my ass. No seriously. I can't feel anything. I shiver as an icy breeze hits my back again. My family (mostly my mom), decided it would be a wonderful idea to pack the kids up, away from the only home they had ever known, and move to a place that is the complete opposite of a small town:

L.A.

It's anything, but familiar. The air is different, the sun is different, everything I was used to and comfortable with was ripped away from me in one month. That's how long it took to pack all our memories in boxes and suitcases.

Like I said before, it's really cold this morning and I'm choosing to walk to school like a moron instead of getting a ride from my mother. Of course, getting a ride from her would probably be more painful than open-heart surgery with no anesthetic. My black scarf is providing little warmth as one end is whipped away into the air. I curse silently and grab the wretched fabric and hug it tightly to my body, giving up my attempts at keeping warm.

When I finally made it to school the bell still hadn't rung yet. Teenagers were huddled in random clusters around the quad. I walked by them all and went straight for my locker. I felt someone nudge me lightly and looked to my left. Chelsea was walking alongside me, greeting me with her usual pearly white smile. Another nudge on my right, and now Xander was wiggling his fingers at me.

"'Sup Carlin. How are you on this glo--rio--us Monday morning?" He said in a sing-song voice. I raised my eyebrows at him. He seemed more chipper than usual and Chelsea was still grinning like a Cheshire Cat. I'm concerned.

"Well Xan, it's a Monday. It's cold. Glen took my car yesterday without telling me and didn't fill up the _now empty_ gas tank so I had to walk to school and I sure as hell wasn't going to ride with my mother," I replied quickly. Xander looks at me blankly then glances at Chelsea. He nods slowly.

"But other than that…" He trailed off. I shrug my shoulders.

"It's a'ight." I smirk and put in my combination. Chelsea leans herself on the locker next to mine.

"Sooo…heard anything interesting lately?" I look at Chelsea strangely. If by interesting you mean weird and unusual? Then yes. You two. I eye Chelsea and Xander suspiciously. They both had huge smiles on their faces and it was starting to creep me out a little.

"What are you so perky about?" I asked and Xander scoffs.

"What? Can't a guy be happy?" His smile becomes less creepy, but cheesier. I stare at him for a few seconds then shake my head. Whatever.

"I guess. If that's what you want out of life, I suppose I can't stop you." I say jokingly.

"Did you here the news?" Xander looks at me expectantly.

"No, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me." He nods and continues.

"Guess which popular bomb shell got the lead part in the school play?" I grimace. Not Miss Diva Duarte!

"Ew! Madison? She isn't that good looking and she sure as hell can't act," Chelsea opens her mouth to speak but I cut her off before she even has the chance. I'm too caught up in the moment at the mere possible mention of my arch nemesis.

"Remember when she tried to reenact scenes from Legally Blonde for that English assignment. Even I could act blonde and stupid better than her and she's as stupid as they come." I'm not sure if you can tell but I don't like her very much. I like guys more than I like her. Which may or may not tell you something just by that.

"Spaz, chill," Xander raises both hands in the air as a sign of surrender. "Yes I remember. Who could forget that tragedy? However, it's not Madison." He pauses for a moment. Probably for dramatic effect but it was just pissing me off. The thought of Madison did that to me unfortunately.

"It's…" He looks from me to Chelsea. Chelsea's looks as excited as Xander while I was left standing here clueless and annoyed.

"Spit it out jerk!"

"Davies." I knew that little bitch Duarte …wait what?

"Huh?" Both my friends smile. Davies? As in Ash—

_**RIIIINNNGGG!!!**_

I look at my friends and they nod in unison like twins. A small smile appears on my face and I think I was blushing a little. I turn away from them and start rummaging through my locker for my history textbook. Our teacher has sentenced all the students to endure the horror of carrying around these god awful hardback bricks everyday instead of supplying them himself like a normal teacher. The nerve! I thought there were child labor laws for a reason. I quickly stash it in my bag and zip it up.

"Well that's cool. Good for her. Hey, maybe we could go see the play when it finally debuts." I said, Chelsea giggles and Xander smirks. Dare I say mischievously? I ignore him and begin walking in the direction of our first period. Miraculously, we all have a few classes together which makes it easier for us to copy answers and notes from each other. We walk into the classroom and took our seats in the back. Xander sat in his seat next to me while Chelsea sat in the one in front. He turns in his seat since the class hadn't started yet.

"That's always a possibility too." He replies, looking at Chelsea for a moment. I regarded both of them and finally decided that there was definitely something going on. They were having, what looked like, a covert eye-convo. Interesting.

"You guys are acting weird today. More so than usual. Should I be afraid?" I said.

"Well it's a good thing you want to see the play so badly because… we signed you up for auditions last Friday." Chelsea smiles warmly at me while Xander just starts laughing.

I don't think I heard correctly. It sounded like they said they signed me up for the play.

"Come again?" They wouldn't dare sign me up. They value their lives too much to do such a thing. Xander rolls his eyes and points at himself and Chelsea.

"Weee..." He says slowly.

"Signed…" He pretends to sign an invisible paper.

"You…" Points to me.

"UP!" He gestures dramatically to the ceiling.

"We love you." Chelsea adds quickly.

"Surprise!" They look at me cautiously. I haven't said anything. I'm going to be auditioning in front of people. On stage. Performing. And Ashley Davies will be there? My crush.

Shit.

"It's like they say…all the world's a stage." Xander says, still smiling.

I'm screwed.

**I hope you liked it. Chapter 2 should be up soon. I g2g to class so please review and tell me what you think. 'Till next time.**


	2. Hella Nervous

**ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own South of Nowhere or the characters…but you're killing my dreams, man!**

The day lagged on painfully slow until finally the moment of truth was only five minutes away. I had bitten off my fingertips in anticipation. Chelsea and Xander at least had the decency to stick around and witness the impending disaster that is going to be me, trying to act and possibly run lines with people I've never met before. I can't act. At least, I don't think I can. My only fear is that I'll forget my lines and most likely blow chunks on the miserable audience below. Securing my role as the most moronic and talent less lesbian at King High. Unfortunately, I think Xander is only here for comedic reasons than anything while Chelsea is partly here for moral support, but I have a feeling she also finds my current situation amusing and sadly who could blame her. She had always been more compassionate when it came to my humiliation and I'll take it however I'll get it.

The three of us sat in the back of the theatre. My nerves were shot to hell and I had done just about everything to soothe them. None of it amounted to much once she walked on stage. She was hypnotizing and my eyes were drawn to her with the simplest of ease. Ashley was beautiful. Even from all the way in the back row of the auditorium it was obvious. My crush glided on stage in a small red and white striped polo shirt. It was small enough that I would say; maybe two or three inches of toned tummy flesh were exposed. I was practically salivating. It didn't help either, that she was wearing her light blue skinny jeans. The ones that sat perfectly, almost sinfully low on her hipbones.

I think I need a bib.

"You're drooling, dude." Xander pointed out. Without hesitation, I elbowed my male bff in the ribs, effectively producing a very loud, unmanly, shriek of pain from him. I never knew his voice could get that high. I smirked evilly and glanced at Chelsea, who just shrunk in her seat a little. I chuckled regardless.

Facing forward to the stage, I was met with Ashley's curious gaze. She was looking right at us and I couldn't feel my heart anymore, it had leapt so far away from my chest. In fact, everyone was now staring in our direction.

"Nice going, Squeaker toy. Now we have an audience." I hissed at Xander. He was clutching his side and wincing a lot. I wouldn't doubt if I left a bruise.

"It's not my fault you can't keep your fluids in check." He gasped. Everyone began whispering all at once until the whole auditorium was filled with loud murmurings. Various people were pointing in our direction, but in my paranoid mind, they were only pointing at me. There were a couple looks that seemed friendlier than others but most seemed either annoyed or bored and hopeful for some unscheduled entertainment. As if they were expecting us to spontaneously combust and magically reappear somewhere else. I just found it weird that some thought we would be interesting to look at. Not likely. We were the trio of outcasts. Most teenagers who were blindly concerned with popularity or attending the latest party didn't associate themselves with us. Xander was more social than Chelsea and I both and he did get invited to more hormonal gatherings than us, however, he never treated either of us like he was better. Thank God. I would have kicked his ass if he dared.

The loud and scratchy sound of someone clearing their throat snaps everyone to attention, including me. A tall woman rose from her seat in the audience, a black microphone held close to her lips. Silence. I couldn't make out her face very well from where I was sitting but she looked young, maybe a few years older than us with short razor-cut brown hair. She had curves too, the good kind. The kind that just kept you staring and made you smile in a dirty way. Being the horny teenager that I am, I examined her butt. Specifically, her black skinny jeans. The way they hugged and balanced out her outfit, which consisted of a white band tee and a black leather jacket. She was definitely hot from the back. Now if she would only turn a little so I could see her face…

"Groovy. Now that everyone's shut up and is facing forward, looking at me," She points to herself and grins. "We can start auditions. Kyla? Will you start us off, pretty please?" The woman offers sweetly, extending the microphone to an occupied seat in the front row. I smile at the sight of a smiling Kyla Woods. It was good to see a friendly face. Ky was in an art class with Chelsea and me. We all got along like three peas in a pod and we've actually hung out a few times. Just knowing she would be here through this nerve wracking endeavor made me breathe a little easier. Kyla accepted the mic eagerly and giggled into it before composing herself and speaking.

"Hey guys. I'm Kyla Woods and I'm going to be the director for the upcoming play. Along with our co-director slash consultant, the lovely and talented Andi Wyler," Kyla gestures to the hot lady, who smiles and feigns a curtsey before sitting down. "Mrs. Parmello will not be with us for a while due to personal reasons and had to leave suddenly. Lucky for us though, Ms Wyler has agreed to fill in as a supervisor and I think she's also substituting while Mrs. P is gone, right?" Ms Wyler nods.

"Only until she gets back." She replies.

"Great. I'm so happy to have so many people turn up for auditions. We're going to be doing things a lot differently this year as far as the play selection goes. Mrs. P didn't decide on a play prior to leaving so we were told to thoughtfully pick one out. With the help of Andi—I mean, Ms Wyler, we decided on doing something pertaining to Shakespeare since there were rumors that we were going to be doing Romeo & Juliet for this play." Kyla pauses and rummages through some papers in a folder. When she found what she was looking for she cleared her throat and continued.

"We decided on…" I zoned out after that. My friends suck. I feel like I'm wasting away here. I could be home right now drawing in my sketch book, reading, or doing something productive instead of sitting in the back of the high school auditorium, listening to Kyla babble on about something I'm totally not interested in. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but right now I have half a mind to punch both of them in the eye.

"…so I'll be calling you all by alphabetical order and if I say your name wrong…my bad." All of a sudden the house lights go out and the spot light casts a dramatic glow on the stage. My heart began to race. This was it. My doom was only moments, maybe minutes away. Seriously this time.

"Kendra Ashby?" a mousy blonde girl walks on stage, her hair fashioned in piggy-tails like a regular Pippy Longstockings. She said she was going to reenact a scene from Saw. Oookay? She looked too innocent to have even set foot in the theatre to see such a movie, I almost laughed. 'Awww', I thought…that feeling was destroyed as soon as she opened her mouth. Kendra sits on the floor and pretends to…saw off her foot.

"No! Oh, my God! What are you doing? Lawrence, what are you doing? What are you... Oh, my God! Lawrence, don't! No! Lawrence, please! I'm begging you! Lawrence, it's not me who did this to you."

(You have to die)

(No, I want to live!)

(I'm sorry...)

(I want to live!)

(My family...)

_Pretends to shoot someone._

(I've done it, now show them to me!"

Everyone is silent. Everyone… It wasn't too bad, in my opinion. Confusing, disturbing, but good. I start clapping randomly, louder and louder like a nut. This girl wasn't getting any praise and at least she had balls to go up there. Unlike me. I'm positively terrified. A couple people stare but I remain stubborn and crazy and keep on clapping. Eventually, others join in until most of the room is filled with applause. I hear Chelsea and Xander giggling next to me. Kendra is now a deep shade of red. She bows and walks off stage. Kyla calls a few more people until…

"Spencer Carlin?" Oh fuck. Xander shoves my back to get up but I remain right where I'm sitting. Uh oh.

"Get up there ya pussy." Xander shoves again. Mommy.

"Someone check my pulse. I think I'm having a heart attack." I panic. Chelsea reaches over and squeezes my hand.

"Spence, it's going to be alright. You'll do amazing, girl. Just do something that's familiar. Like a favorite movie or something. Go!" Chelsea pulls me up off my ass and _gently _pushes me down the aisle until I finally wave her off. I nervously climb the stairs and walk on stage for the first time.

"Hey Spencer." Kyla says cheerfully.

"Hey." I reply with little to no enthusiasm.

"What are going to be doing for us today?" Kyla asks professionally. I smile at her and breathe in deeply. What's familiar? Movies? I'm trying to think of something to give these guys. The only reason I'm up here is because my friends would have found a hundred and ten ways to drag me here kicking and/or screaming. Whether or not I was thrilled with the idea, the out come would have been the same. So I might as well try and 'wow' them. If that's possible. I could do Imagine Me & You, but I think I would need some help. I definitely can't top Kendra with her self-(two-man) show.

"Would you like some one to run lines with you, Spence?" I pause for a moment then nod. Yep I would. "Alright, no problem. Ash, will you help Spencer out?" …wait I take it back!

"Sure." Ashley says from behind me. Where'd you come from beautiful stranger?

"What'd you have in mind?" Ashley asks. Imagine me and you in my bedroom? No Spencer. FOCUS!

"Uh…um have y-you ever seen Imagine Me & You?" It was a long shot and she probably hasn't. I doubt it.

"Yeah. It's one of my favorites. I can help you with that one." She smiles and my heart melts. It's her favorite? I think my heart has stopped beating all together. I tell her which scene I want to do and she nods and says it's no problem. Here goes nothing…and a little of everything.

Ashley: Alright. Well... umm... tell me about the lily.

Me: You don't want to know about the lily.

Ashley: It's my favorite.

Me: Ask me about the azalea.

Ashley: Oh, alright. What about the azalea?

Me: The azalea means 'may you achieve financial security'. See?

Ashley: [_laughs_] Lovely. Now, tell me about the lily.

Me: The lily means... the lily means 'I dare you to love me'." Our eyes connect and I swear that there is this electricity flowing between us. It was palpable. You could carve it up and serve it for Thanksgiving dinner if you wanted to. Did she feel it too? We have yet to look away from each other and I'm perfectly fine with that and she doesn't seem to care either. But the loud obnoxious applause rips us away from our 'moment'. Forcing us to embrace reality.

Stupid reality.

"That was fantastic you guys! Great job." Really? But it was so short. I guess it's a good thing I know that movie by heart.

"I agree. Nice work…Luce." Ashley squeezes my hand and walks off stage, but not before winking at me.

CLEAN UP ON SET! Spencer has melted in a puddle of goo.

…

I will never wash this hand again.

_**Whew! I've been up all night working on this. I couldn't sleep. Hope you guys liked this chapter and I also hope I didn't confuse anyone when they were doing the scenes. I couldn't think of a way to set the movie dialogue apart from the real dialogue. Cool! So tell me what you think and chapter will be up soon. Laters!**_


	3. Tough Love

**Hey guys! I'm back and I've shown up with a shiny new update for ya. I just wanna say I'm super duper sorry for the disappearing act I pulled. Life has just been a little hectic lately and I just didn't have the time to myself to sit down and type. But have no fear! I'll be posting more frequently from now on. I'm hoping I can update every month or sooner. Hopefully. Soooooo anywhoosie I've been babbling long enough. I hope you guys like the update and tell me whatcha think. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own SoN. It belongs to Tom Lynch and The-N. Nor do I own the rights to Capital G by Nine Inch Nails or Dancing Queen! But golly do I wish. lol.**

**Now…on with the show!**

Whoa.

That was…kinda fun. My heart continues to pound like a jack hammer as I slowly make my way off stage. That was insane. One moment I'm gnawing at my cuticles down to the red juicy center and the next moment I'm standing on stage, in front of…_people_, while in the grace of a modern goddess.

Ashley.

The girl I've been fawning over for almost a year now. And how sad am I that after all that time drooling at the sight of her and literally tripping over my feet in trademark 'Spencer' fashion (face first) and that was the first time I had uttered a word in her presence. Full sentences even.

I've got it bad, I know. One wink. Just one playful twitch of the eye and instantly my insides turn to mush. I bit the inside of my cheek. It was all I could do not to giggle out loud like a dope. A small smile curves slowly on my lips.

When I got back to my seat Chelsea ambushed me with a grip an anaconda would swoon over. She's surprisingly strong. But her hugs are just as warm and her vice grip is one I would never struggle against. She pulls away and flashes me her usual pearly white smile. I returned it. Xander just stared at me oddly, as if he wasn't sure if I was real or a figment of his imagination. I smirked at his momentary silence and relished in the peace and quiet that rarely occurred between us. He's not as much of an asshole when he's speechless. If only I had a camera to document this moment. Oh and that expression…GOLD!

"Spence that was…surprising…I-I mean great! But…damn…I said great already, right?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Thaaaanks." I think. It's silent for a moment. Chelsea just beams at me until her phone went off. Text message. She looked at it, nodded to herself then put it back in one of the giant pockets in the front of her dress. Hmm. Wonder who that was?

"Holy shit!" Xander blurts out, finally snapping out of it. Chelsea rolls her eyes and I chuckled.

"Welcome back." He ignores me and mumbles a string of profanities to himself. Still in shock of my surprising 'talent' I guess. Whatever that means.

"Who knew you had it in ya?" He said finally. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Well, you? You're the jerks who signed me up." I said. Chelsea shrugged and smiled innocently.

"And look how great that turned out. Girl, that was totally better than Legally Blonde." Totally.

"Fuck yeah it was!"

"I didn't know you could act. You were amazing." Chelsea said.

"What are you talking about? She acts like a dork all the time."

"Xander!"

"What? She does."

"You're an ass." Chelsea said.

"Hey! I'm only speaking the truth." Xander replied.

"So am I. Now shut it. This is Spencer's moment." Chelsea said, turning and smiling at me like a proud mother. I grinned and gave Xander a look that said 'ha. In your face!'

"Why don't I ever get a moment?" Xander pouted.

"Because you never do anything worth mentioning, Xan." Chelsea said gently.

"I do too! I do…stuff! I go to parties and…" I smirk at Xander's lack of a better comeback. You've got nothing going for you dude. Just stop now.

"Sorry X-man. The only thing worth mentioning to you _frequently_ is that you have horrendous hygienic skills. It's called soap and water. I mean, dude, come on. Haven't you ever seen a comb before?" I said. Xander rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest, pouting like a child.

"It does look like you don't brush your hair." Chelsea admitted softly. Breaking it to him as gently as she could. She was always honest. Even if what she had to say wasn't easy to hear.

"I'm a guy. Guys can get away with stuff like that." Xander says defensively, patting down his hair.

"So can gorillas." Chelsea pointed out. Xander sucked in his chest and lowered his voice.

"_Manly_ gorillas!"

"I didn't say you were manly."

"Yeah but…"

"Shhhh. Don't speak."

My friends were now bickering with each other and it was frigging amusing hell. I waited. They bitched. I smirked at the two and put my index finger to my lips. They stop and look at me.

Wow. That actually worked.

They stare at me, confused. We were still standing by our seats in the dark. The auditions were still going on behind us. I sighed. I missed it already. That feeling I had on stage…with Ashley. It was amazing and exciting. I could feel it slipping though. I couldn't hold on to that heart thrilling feeling forever. When I was up there with her…I don't know. I believed it. I believed every word as if we were just two regular people with British accents. Yeah I know. It wasn't even that long of a scene and yet…it was real. To me anyway. I wasn't goofy Spencer Carlin. I was an English florist named Luce. It would sound silly if I were to say this out loud to Chelsea. It sounds silly even in my head.

Silly Spencer.

I take one last glance at the stage before shaking my head, grabbing my book bag and exiting the auditorium. I knew my friends would only be a few steps behind so I walked briskly down the hall, hoping that I could out-walk them. I was hoping I could make it out of there without them stopping me. In the back of my head I knew Chelsea would catch up to me. She was all leg and normally walked faster than us at her own leisurely pace.

"Spencer wait—Damn girl slow down!" I stop walking causing Chelsea to collide into my back. It was like a domino effect, and I hit the floor, Chelsea only stumbled a little but stayed upright. Ow. My face.

"Sorry girl." Chelsea helps me up off the floor and I brush hallway dirt off myself. I rub my sore cheek and told her it was okay.

"What's the rush?" Xander asks. I shrugged.

"I auditioned. I went through with your guy's prank and now I'm going home. Before mommy dearest gets off work and feels the need to grace me with her demonic presence." I turn to walk away, but Xander grabs a hold of my arm before I can make a complete 180'.

"It wasn't a prank. Sure when we told you about what we did, your reaction was…priceless." He chuckles. "And when they called your name…it was funny as hell watching you squirm." He laughs louder, shaking his head, clutching his stomach and bent over slightly. Chelsea slaps him hard on the back producing a loud smacking sound. She shoots him a warning glare and he nods and coughs in his hand. That looked like it hurt.

"Right, helping. As I was saying…_before_ I was bitch slapped," Chelsea rolls her eyes. "The whole happenings before the auditions were pretty damn funny. I am _so_ not gonna deny that," Xander glances slowly at Chelsea, gauging her possible hostile reaction. I raise an eyebrow at the two. I swear they argue like a married couple. An abusive married couple. I eye them suspiciously. Not sure what to make of what was going on. They never act like this. Well not with each other. More often than not Xander and I are at each other's throats. Playfully at first with general snarkyness and brief moments of stupidity. Until someone goes too far and pisses the other off. Then the giggles are over and it's on like Donkey Kong. Ready and willing to draw our swords. But this whole tense and slightly amusing situation between the two was new. Well I've never witnessed them like this. Then again, now that I think about it, I was sick all of last week. Maybe something happened. Interesting. I file that thought for future investigation. Right now I just wanna leave in one piece. I realize Chelsea and Xander aren't even paying attention to me. Why am I still standing here when I clearly want to leave? These two are so wrapped up in each other I doubt they would know I left.

"I'll just be on my merry way then. See ya." I mumbled quickly. My attempt at a quick exit is once again foiled and Chelsea pulls roughly on my green hoodie, forcing me back and almost choking me to death. Talk about tough love.

"Stay." Chelsea points a finger at me sternly, like my mother used to do to me when I was younger. I look at Chelsea a little apprehensively. She's kinda scary. Chelsea sighs.

"Come on girl. What do you have to lose?" She smiles sweetly at me. I wonder if she's bipolar too.

"My life." I look at her suspiciously. She was definitely being more assertive than usual. Xander cracks up at my change in demeanor and Chelsea glares at him, shutting him up quickly.

"No. I mean the play." She clarifies.

"My dignity." I offer. Xander scoffs.

"Who needs dignity when you've got the theatre?" He smirks and I shake my head.

"Why is this such a big deal?" I ask them.

"Well it's been…fuck…like …I don't even know how long since you first laid eyes on Ms Davies and you haven't done anything since…so we thought…we'd do it all for you. You're welcome." The ass smiles smugly and I stick my tongue at him childishly and he does the same. We're a classy bunch, wouldn't you say?

"Stop helping, okay?" Chelsea says to Xander patting him lightly on the head. I look at her and smile despite myself, enjoying Chelsea's taunting. This was definitely amusing. She's kinda on edge and it's funny. She hardly ever loses her cool and I always tell myself to enjoy these rare red-faced moments when they surface. Which has happened only twice since I've known her. Unless their directed at me, of course. When that happens, it's time for Spencer to book it. Like now, for instance. I should just go and leave the two love birds to it, huh? I escape quickly down the hall before they could get a hold of me. This time I'm not giving myself away before my departure.

Success!

I turned the corner. I felt like I had avoided a bullet finally escaping my best friends' clutches. I made it to the parking lot, slightly out of breath. Then I remembered that I didn't drive to school today.

"Damn it!" I yelled to no one in particular.

"Something wrong, Luce?" someone says. I turn around, totally caught off guard. Ashley was standing a few feet behind me. How does she do that? She just pops out fucking no where!

"Um…I-I was just…car." I stammered. I looked at her. She was smiling and I couldn't help but give her a sheepish smile in return.

"Yeah, me too." She says.

"I was just leaving." I said more calmly this time.

"Cool. Actually I'm glad I ran into you. I was looking for you in the theatre and you like, disappeared. A bunch of us were planning on going out for ice cream and—"

"Ice cream?" I perked up. What flavor? Is it chocolate? I bet its chocolate! A big grin threatens to break my face in two. I probably looked like a big 'ol goof.

"There's this diner Kyla and I go to all the time. They have _the best_ ice cream and their food is awesome. Kyla wanted to invite you but you left before she could ask you." I nodded.

"And being the cool sis that I am, I volunteered to track you down and ask you for her."

"Oh…well," I frown as I thought about my mother. "Actually I kinda have to get ho—" I felt a sharp pain in my back and spoke with out thinking.

"Sure!" I squeaked. Ashley gives me a look, her eyes shift back and forth from me, behind me, and back to me again.

"Sweet. We're leaving in a couple minutes. Do you need a ride?" She smiles, and I can't remember what I was about to say. What's my name again? Craig? It's a boys' name, right? I feel another sharp pain in my back.

"Ow...uh…I-I mean…yes. Yes I do." That fucking hurts. Ashley nods, looking amused. I look over my shoulder and low and behold Chelsea and Xander are wiggling their fingers at me, both of them smiling. If I didn't love these guys so much I would _so _…do something _really_ mean! I narrow my eyes at them, irritation setting in. I'll deal with you two later.

"Kyla and Andi are wrapping things up so they'll meet us there. My car's over here."

"Oh cool…thanks. Just give me a sec." She nods and walks away.

"What the hell was that?!" I hissed at them. They _both_ shrug and brush it off. Chelsea and Xander both made some excuse that they had places to be and left in a rush. What the hell? I sigh in frustration and walk in the direction Ashley went. Ashley was leaning on the trunk of her car, arms folded and looking like she didn't have a care in the world.

Okay so Ashley's car is hot! I mean like smokin'. I have no idea what model or whatever you would call it was, but it's pretty damn sexy. The color was vibrant and the car was obnoxiously shiny. I'd say it was a candy apple red, but then again, I didn't eat lunch. The model looked foreign and I couldn't for the life of me recognize the shiny metallic emblem on the hood. It was definitely a unique make. I smile at how much this car reminds me of Ashley. Sexy. Sleek. Fierce. Hot. I could go on and on…

"What're you smiling about?" Ashley asks as she unlocks the vehicle. I feel my cheeks heat up and turn away from the car, my blonde hair falling like a wavy curtain around my face. It feels like I've been caught doing something naughty. But Ashley doesn't know that I was thinking about her. There's silence for a moment and I look up to see her smiling gently at me. I return it, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. Its times like these I wished I had a permanent hair tie at all times. Or maybe a cool hat.

"I was just ogling your car." I tell her simply.

"Yeah, well. Hands to yourself, lady. Brandi's mine." She says with a teasing smile. I raise an eyebrow.

"Brandi?" I said.

"Yes, Brandi." She says with a hint of faux annoyance. I raise an eyebrow at her. She gives me a toothy grin to show me she was joking. "This red hot chili pepper deserved a name. My girl and I have been through a lot together. Huh, baby?" She kisses the top of the hood and pats it softly. I giggle, and shake my head. Ashley's smile widens.

"Something funny?" She asks, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow. I shake my head, trying my best to stifle my amused laughter. I wasn't very successful. Ashley just continued to smile at me. We get in the car and buckle our seatbelts before we look at each other again. She doesn't say anything and smiles as she turns the ignition. The red beast roared to life and I jumped and squeaked out of surprised. She throws her head back and laughs loudly, the melodious sound causing me to shiver slightly. She revs the engine a few times, showing off probably, and backs out. She stops the car for a moment and looks over, she winks at me. I stare at her as the blood rushes to my face once more. She merely grins and wiggles her eyebrows playfully.

"Brace yourself, Goldilocks." Putting the peddle to the metal, so to speak, the roaring beast charges out of the parking lot. My body is forced back into the leather interior and it feels like I'm drowning in it. Like I'm sinking slowly against the most comfy padded wall in the universe and I can't move my lips to call for help. I have this comical and slightly horrifying image of my face rippling at the intense speed and my lips are being pulled back against my gums, the sides flapping helplessly in the wind. My hands grip the sides of the seat tightly, holding on for dear life.

I hear amused laughter next to me and risk possible neck injury to strain and look at her. She's grins and looks straight ahead at the road. I glare at her; it was a weak glare, not coming close to looking intimidating, but a glare none the less. I could tell she was enjoying this.

She glances at me and I welcome that moment and glare harder at her. She rolls her eyes, smirk still intact and gestures with her hand in an upward motion. I furrowed my brow, obviously confused.

"Sit up a little." She clarifies. I do. My hands resume their previous position on the seat, grasping it tightly.

"See. Isn't that better than lying helplessly on the floorboard**." **She says, smirking. I blush and look away from her, slightly embarrassed that I kinda just made a fool of my self. It's silent for a moment and I felt my ears burn. I look out the window. Watching as buildings and people began to blur together. It felt like she was speeding and yet no one was stopping us. She was a fast driver but a good one at least. Hopefully.

"It's Spencer, right?" I nod. She furrows her brow for a moment like she's thinking about something. A small smile lies delicately on her lips.

"Spencer." She says to no one. Rolling my name on her tongue. Testing the sound in the air.

"I like it. It's different." She comments.

"A good different or bad different?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Definitely of the good." She smiles. "It's pretty. Suits you." I blushed. I didn't really care for my name. Growing up, kids had always teased me for having a boys' name. I had grown accustomed to being ridiculed for something that was completely out of my control. It felt like a masculine curse my parents had bestowed upon me without consulting me first. I learned to ignore it, though. Years of taunting had callused my heart against their harsh words but I never thought of it as 'pretty'.

"Thanks." I said. I could feel her eyes on me. But she didn't add anything after that.

"Do you have a driver's license?" She suddenly asks a few minutes later. I nodded my head.

"Do you have a car?" I nodded again, not willing to respond verbally. I did have a car, but Glen had driven it last night. He had had some job interview in Long Beach or somewhere. At least I think it was Long Beach? The forgetful ass didn't fill up the tank after he got back and it was completely empty. It was a beat up baby blue bug. I adored that thing. I had originally inherited my grandmother's rusty old station wagon when she had passed away the summer before last. But we had to sell it. Mom didn't want to have to worry about taking it on the move. I was heart broken, of course. I desperately wanted a car and my mother was being difficult. She had said she didn't want to keep Gran's car because 'it could fall apart on the way there' or 'the tires are too old to make the trip'. And why that may have been true I was still a stubborn teenager and I frowned at her and insisted that it wouldn't. Arguing in vain that she was being unfair and being _totally uncool_.

Dad was the cool one, though. He surprised me a month later after we had moved in and bought me a car. I was ecstatic, of course. Squealing and jumping around like a hyped-up five year old, the rusty station wagon completely forgotten. But _Jamie_ was the cutest thing on four wheels I had ever seen. I didn't tell Ashley this though remembering how I kinda teased her about Brandi and remained silent. She frowned a bit, but continued to talk despite my lack of a response.

"Why didn't you just drive home? It looked like you were about to walk." She asked.

"I would if I could but I can't so I won't." I said dryly, waving it off. I scolded myself once the words left my lips. It came out a little bitchy even though that was not my intention. She was silent for a moment. I think I said it a little quickly too. I was still a little nervous. I'm surprised my voice didn't quiver. Ashley nodded once. I felt bad that I wasn't much of a conversationalist but I didn't know what to say to Ashley. How to continue a conversation that was still stimulating and comfortable. But it seemed like Ashley was trying to get me to talk to her so it's only fair that I contribute, right?

"My brother had it last night." I said. "He took it to some job interview and forgot to fill up the tank when he got back and now it's empty. Really empty. I'm talking like Econ class on senior ditch day empty." I said. Ashley giggled.

"So…it was empty." Ashley concluded.

"Pretty much." I said, smirking. It was silent again. That was happening a lot. But it was comfortable this time. It wasn't tense as it was before. And even then it wasn't a noticeable pressure. It was like a ghostly weight. It teased the hairs on your skin. Reminding you that it could suffocate you at any time in the small space if it so chooses.

Ashley's fingers moved subtly on the steering wheel. The screen on the front panel of the car lit up, then Ashley rummaged for something in her large canvas bag between the seats and fished for a good three minutes. She cursed silently, until she must have found what she was looking for.

"Ah-ha! You sneaky little bastard." She muttered. I watched her. She took out her ipod and set it in a snazzy cup holder.

"Can you hand me the jack?" She said, pointing to a loose wire on the floorboard. I picked it up and handed it to her. She inserted it into her ipod and placed it back in its holder and put both hands on the steering wheel again. Her fingers moved subtly on the steering wheel again.

"What kinda music do you listen to?" She asked. I looked at her. Her eyes remained concentrated on the road. Both hands at ten and two.

"Um…I like a lot of stuff. I'm not too picky. Except rap, though. It gives me a headache." She smiles but doesn't say anything. I continued. "I pretty much like anything that I can move to and gets me in a good mood when I'm having a hard day. Like this one time in eighth grade, I had such a horrible day that when I got home I closed my door turned on my speakers and started rockin' out to Dancing Queen." I smiled as I thought about it. It had been awhile since I thought of that day. It was a time in my life when I still questioned myself. Questioned everything. I was so lost. So frightened of what everyone would think of me if they knew the truth. Sometimes I would lie awake at night. I wondered what my mother would do if she found out. What would my Dad say? Would he say anything? Would they kick me out? There were times when I was getting ready for bed, before I would put on my pj's I would stare at myself naked in the mirror. I stared at myself and couldn't put a name to the face.

Was this me?

I didn't recognize the person looking back at me. Where was the little girl that wore her pigtails everyday because her mother said she always looked so adorable? That little girl that wore overalls with the little sunflowers on the butt pockets because she thought they were the most fabulous thing ever invented? Where was she? I knew the answer.

She was gone. I didn't know who I was anymore and that overwhelmed me.

That's when I had had enough. When I got home I cranked up the volume and started break dancing in my bedroom and did 'walking like an Egyptian' to all the ABBA songs. All of them. It was a golden moment in the midst of a black time. Everything looked a little brighter and I smiled…and laughed. And I let it go. The cold feeling. The crushing pressure would dissipate slightly and I could breathe again. I could smile again. That was a happy memory. It'll be one of those memories that I'll always hold on tightly to. It'll act as a life preserver when things look grim. When I feel cold, again. But not now. Not now.

Ashley looked at me.

"Dancing Queen, huh?" She said smirking. I looked at her.

"What? It's a classic song!" I defended whilst smiling. Ashley giggled and I immediately loved the sound. It was goofy and too loud; it was Ashley's laugh. It was infectious and I found myself laughing with her.

"I'm not denying it. Hell, I embrace it." She giggled.

"Oh, please do. Embrace the awesomeness of ABBA." I smiled. Ashley giggled again and I found myself loving that sound even more.

"So what else do you listen to?" She asked.

"Oh jeeze. If you wanna listen to me talk about music we'd be here for a very long time. I could go on and on about Cher and her big hair and then suck all the oxygen out of the car just babbling on about the Beatles. Your cute little ears would fall off." I take an exaggerated breath, emphasizing my point. I don't think it was that effective cause she's grinning at me.

"Humor me." She smiled a sexy smile and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Uh…well…" I stammered. Capital G by Nine Inch Nails thundered though the speakers. Ashley turned down the volume slightly. But I could still feel the tempo vibrating my seat. I didn't mind though. I loved this song. I bobbed my head in time to the beat.

"Wait! You think my ears are cute?" She touched her ears and that was all it took for me to lose it and laughed like a donkey. I couldn't stop. Ashley's face was so cute. I hoped she wasn't expecting an answer.

Turns out Ashley and I have a passionate love for the Beatles. We ended up having a brief but heated debate over who was better of the four. Ringo was last of course. I mean come on. The guy didn't do much anyway. He deserves our dislike. Ringo's like, pointless and lame and never wrote even one cool song. John and Paul were a tie. Ashley talked for the both of us afterwards. The rest of the car ride was filled with loud excited chatter, obnoxious shrieking, and bubbly laughter. We laughed for a long time. It got so bad that Ashley almost lost control of the car. She was laughing so hard she had to hold her stomach with both hands. The sound of the tires screeching painfully sobered me up instantly like a bucket of icy cold water had been thrown in my face. I lunged for the steering wheel. Ashley was still subdued with her giggling and seemed to find me hovering over her, clutching the moving steering wheel with both hands, scared out of my mind because we were gonna die...hilarious!

I straightened our course on the road. Thankfully no one else was around us. I maneuvered the red death trap to the side of the road and pulled over. I paused, giving Ashley time to calm down. She only giggled between breaths. I smiled at her. She was so damn cute. I watched as she breathed. Her chest rising and falling at the necessary motion. I looked her up and down before I could stop myself. Taking her in. Her lips shuddered a little when she breathed and her face was flushed. Her eyes looked heavy like she was having a hard time keeping them open. She was breathtaking. He smoldering eyes looked back at me and that's when I realized I that I had been caught checking her out. Again.

It was silent. She didn't move and neither did I. I was practically sitting on her. I had changed seats to get to the steering wheel. Comfort and personal space the last thing on my mind. She was beautiful, but I knew I had to move.

"Are you done being a giggle monster?" I asked her. She nodded and smiled coyly. Is she…blushing? No she's probably still flush from her psycho giggle fit. Yeah that's it. I'm just hoping she is.

"Yeah. Sorry about that. Guess I got a little carried away." She said, straightening herself in her seat.

A little?

"No big." I said, shrugging. "It was fun…ya know until we almost died. That would have been a buzz kill." I smirked at her. She manages a smile and nods her head.

"Oh yeah. That would've totally ruined my day." She rolls her eyes.

_Totally._

**Okay guys. Again sorry for the long wait. I'm gonna stop here and I'm already working on chapter 4. **

'**Till next time! **

**=)**


	4. Sweet Spot

_**Hey ya'll! I apologize for the ridiculously long delay. I also wanna say that you guys are completely awesome! Your guys' reviews have been an extreme encouragement so thanks. **_

_**And in other news…my main computer crashed a few months back so most of what I initially had for chapter 4 is now lost forever. I had decided hey why not just save the document to Word on the computer instead of saving it to your flash drive like you normally do. **_

_**OK! That's an incredibly stupid idea but what the hell.**_

_**I figured it's a Saturday; the computer's not going anywhere. So I did, like a dumbass and now I can't retrieve the file because the computer won't even load. So I'm just complaining to you because I'm kinda pissed. But whatever. I'm ranting. **__**But I'm back and since school has started up again, my focus might be split a little but I won't abandon this story, so don't worry. X) **_

_**Now going back in time like a millennia ago…chapter 2, I think it was, back to when Spencer had her auditions, I just want to bring it to everyone's attention now that I know that the audition didn't play out the way a normal audition would go. Mostly because I thought it would be fun for Spence and Ashley to have that little scene together and because I'm still trying to figure out the details regarding the play that they're going to be doing, which is why they didn't run lines from scenes from said play. Get it? No? You don't care? …*shrugs***_

_**So I hope you enjoy the chapter and tell me what you think. If you have any comments on what you think's going to happen or whether or not I'm totally butchering this fic…let me know. But kindly…yes please tell me **__**kindly**__** that I'm butchering this story. Lol. Jk.**_

amorvacio22**: **_**Oh and we wouldn't want that now would we. I'll try to post more so you don't get cranky, k? Oh and for the record you post like crazy fast so yeah…me? I'm slow and steady. Like a turtle…but a cute turtle. I'm like a cute teenage ninja turtle. So there! Oh yeah!**_

FadeToLife: _**Thanks I'm glad you liked it! :)**_

Baley-fo-life:_**Please don't die. I'd be sad and I wouldn't have your wonderful reviews. *Blush* Magic you say? Wow. Well thank you! I try. ;) *tries to act smug***_

_**Yeah. Chels and Xander aren't going anywhere. They remind me too much of my friends. Lol. I like it when they fight. It amuses me. **_

brokenheartedmhe:_**Thanks. You too!**_

Airickuuh:_**Of course you have to point out the typos. *rolls eyes* Thanks for reading it sweety! **_

uluveme:_**Thank you. Lol. I just like scaring the bejeezes out of Spencer. Plenty more adorable bonding moments to come. **_

maeisforlovers:_**You're completely awesome for reading each chapter and reviewing everyone afterwards. You are so one of my favorite readers now! ;) And yes, the name Xander is from Buffy. I thought the name suited the character in my head; goofy, kind of annoying, but still lovable in a strange way and he's totally whipped. All the girls have him wrapped around their fingers but he still feels the need to declare that he's still a masculine macho guy. Which is what I wanted when I thought of MY Xander. And Ringo Starr is…ugh! But if you like him more power to ya I guess.**_

target-of-creepers:_**Thanks for reading and I'm glad that you're enjoying it thus far. **_

katshark:_**We might hear Ashley's point of view but I wouldn't hold my breath that it'll happen in the next couple chapters. Maybe when we finally get a better feel for Ashley she may be willing to speak her mind, but for right now the focus is all on blondy.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

When Ashley and I finally arrived, Kyla very eagerly wrapped me up in a bone crushing hug and I was instantly reminded of Chelsea's rib-cracking ones. Ms Wyler stayed silent in the booth as Kyla laughed and resumed her previous seat next to her. I slid into the booth on the other side of Ms Wyler as Ashley slid in next to me. I was a tad nervous about that but I didn't let it show. The fact that Ashley's warm thigh was touching mine was melting my resolve slightly, sending the butterflies in my stomach into overdrive.

"I'm glad you came, Spencer." Kyla says grinning from ear to ear.

"Me too. This place is cool. It's got an easy vibe to it. Real hip but retro at the same time. " I say observing the stylish décor of the diner. 'Diner' doesn't even seem like an appropriate word for this place. With the right lighting it could pass for a night club easily.

"That's exactly what Ashley said when we first found this place. We've been coming here for years."

"Yep. Ky and I are devoted regulars. I'm a happy slave to his amazing cuisine and Ky's addicted to his awesome sauce." Ashley says, pointing a thumb in Kyla's direction. My brow furrows. Awesome sauce? Kyla sputters and waves her hands around frantically, trying to get the words out.

"The _sauce_! It's the sauce. He does something to his sauce that is so unbelievably incredible that my taste buds are rendered lazy and confused for hours. But happy confused. A satisfied lazy." Kyla smiles dreamily. I chuckle and shake my head.

"You sound like an addict." Ashley says.

"No. Not like an addict…okay it's addictive but…I can quit it whenever I want. I don't need it. Even though I might go crazy and start ripping my hair out…I can kick it anytime I want. Addict? Pfft. Not even." Kyla says.

"I'm not even going to touch that one. You've done all the damage all on your own."

"Shut your mouth. You're spewing bullshit all over the table."

"Oooh did I hit a nerve, sis?" Kyla stares daggers at her sister. If looks could kill…

Ms Wyler was silent next to me. I felt bad that I hadn't taken notice of her till now. She had been quiet this whole time that I wondered if maybe I was saying too much. Ashley shook her head, smiling at her sister. I grinned at the beautiful brunette as she took another bite of her Chocolaty Chocolate Fudge Sunday. That thing looked awesome. I added more rainbow sprinkles to mine, can't have too many, before taking a generous bite.

"I knew the offer of ice cream would get you." Kyla said to me with a knowing look.

"The thought of something chocolaty in _any_ situation gets me, every time. It's my kryptonite."

"Good to know." Ashley said. I gasp in mock horror.

"Crap. You all know my weakness. Now people are going to start throwing candy bars at me and laughing maniacally. I'm dooooomed." I say as I rest the back of my hand against my forehead, sighing _oh so dramatically._

Eat your heart out Broadway.

Kyla chuckles and rolls her eyes while Ms Wyler looked amused. Ashley laughed; her sound soared in the air like a dove in flight, graceful and beautiful. It was still kinda goofy, I thought. But it's what made it even more endearing. It was Ashley's laugh and I enjoyed the music for as long as the melody was willing to play. My thoughts instantly went back to the car ride over here. When Ashley was giggling and I found myself wanting to hear the sound even more. I did everything to keep that sound lingering in the air. Funny faces, exaggerated facial expressions, crazy hand gestures. You name it, I did it or it was filed in the back of my head to try it at least once to see her response**. **I wanted to hold it close to me in that car and never let it go…and it kinda…almost got us killed but I still don't regret it. Insane as that probably sounds.

"Sweet. Now that I know your secret you have to do everything I say without fuss or I'll poke you with a Twix bar. Prepare for the torture." Ashley says, poking me in the arm with her finger. Then she poked my side and I squealed. She did it again and I laughed louder**. **I tried to get away from her but to no avail. I was trapped between Ashley and Ms Wyler. She used all of her fingers this time, tickling me mercilessly. I wiggled around the booth, trying to avoid her devious fingers but there was no where I could go. I giggled and then grunted in frustration when I finally sucked in enough air to breathe. Her smirk widened and that's when I decided that she was the devil. She was tickling me without mercy. I couldn't do anything in my defense but accidentally run into Ms Wyler, but she didn't say anything though and I felt her scoot a little closer to Kyla. Trying not to get in the way. Thanks for the backup. Not.

"You…_SUCK_!" I told her with my eyes shut tight. My laughter got louder and I did my damnedest to stifle it but it was just pouring out of me, taking the sweet oxygen with it. Ashley wasn't letting up and had found a very sensitive tickle spot on my hip. I was a goner. Putty in her hands. Doomed. Yay me!

"Ashley? Please stop torturing Spencer. Poor thing is starting to turn purple." I heard Kyla say. Yes Ashley. Let's stop torturing poor Spencer. She's starting to see spots behind her closed eyelids…and ya' know…she likes breathing. She _loooves_ breathing. Be a doll and stop. Pretty please?

"I think she looks cute in purple." Ashley said. I could just imagine her devilish grin. How have I not noticed your horns before? Oh yeah. I was too busy looking at her-

"Ashley." Kyla says in a tone.

"Fine…party pooper." Ashley mumbled the last part, but stopped her tickle assault. I was still laughing my ass off though. I was finding it hard to stop as I could still feel the sensations. I could still feel her fingers under my shirt; tickling my hip. I took deep breaths and did my best to calm down. I knew she wasn't touching me anymore but I swear I could still feel it, her sneaky fingers. I think the loss of oxygen affected my brain.

"So now that we've gotten that out of the way…you okay, Spence?" Kyla looks at me. I nod my head. I felt like I had just gotten down from a high. My ab muscles felt sore and my cheeks felt tingly and warm.

"How did the auditions go?" I said, trying to change the subject. Kyla crossed her eyes and groaned.

"Horrible! Two people ran off stage, one of them threw up, another girl actually _fell off_ the stage; that Kendra chick probably gave me nightmares for a week, only three guys showed up and they were all_ hooooorible_." She says frowning. I blinked.

"That sucks." Kyla shakes her head and waves her hand dismissively.

"It's not a problem. I think I have a way to fix that last part and it might even be a better alternative." She says cryptically. I furrow my eyebrows at her. Yeah I have no idea what she's talking about either.

"What does that mean exactly?"

"I'll tell you later. Do you remember in Mr. Cruisso's class, I was always writing in my notebook and one day you asked me what I was working on and I told you I didn't know yet?"

I nodded, just barely recalling the memory.

"Well, I was writing _this_ play and now I have an opportunity to see it come to life. I have a chance to see it talking and walking; living and breathing on stage. Call me picky or whatever but I want it to be perfect. I want the right people for it. Ashley got the part, not because she's my sister but because she's so expressive and genuine all on her own. She's my 'Misty'. She's right people."

I'm impressed. Kyla is serious about this; passionate. I can hear it in her voice. I smile warmly at her and nod my head.

"I get it. But I mean not everyone is going to be perfect for the role you want fulfilled. I'm not trying to rain on your parade or anything I just think that everyone should have an opportunity to be up on stage whether or not their right for a specific role or not." I say looking at Kyla. She opens her mouth to say something but doesn't get the chance.

"She has a point Ky." Ashley says.

"I'm gonna have to agree on that too sweets." Ms Wyler looks over at Kyla and rubs her upper arm in what I'm guessing was a reassuring gesture.

"Why aren't you taking my side? I thought I was your favorite?" Kyla pouts. Ms Wyler smirks at her and squeezes her arm again before putting it down on the table.

"I am on your side but I'm trying to be fair too. Spencer's right though, everyone should have an opportunity to shine on stage." Kyla juts out her lip more.

"Ugh. Fine. I'll be fair. But if they throw up on stage again I'm going to be there with a pointed finger telling you I told you so."

"Sounds good to me. Just don't scare anyone. We wouldn't want the freshman to pee their pants because they're not used to Kyla's Sue Sylvester voice." Kyla rolls her eyes at her sister and stuck her tongue out.

"I do not have a Sue Sylvester voice. You don't know what you're talking about."

"All that's missing is a flashy track suit and a megaphone."

"I'm ignoring you. I'm ignoring you right now for my own sanity." Kyla rubs her temples.

"What san—"

"Shut your face Davies."

"I was only—"

"Why are you still talking?"

"Because I—"

"That was a rhetorical question, slow sister of mine."

"Hey! Who you calling—"

"Make her stop talking. Please. I'm begging you." Kyla says to an amused Ms Wyler. I'm trying really hard to keep from bursting at the sisterly interaction. I wonder if this is what Glen and I look like?

"So how do you think your audition went?" Kyla says, ignoring her sister again.

"Um…good, I think." I say taking a large bite of my delicious ice cream. It was drowning in hot fudge, and it was heavily loaded with all things amazing. A measly cherry sat on top and it looked insignificant all by itself. Rodney, the owner of _Sweet Spot _(yeah the name didn't sound sexual to me either), made sure to pile it on. He's known Ashley and Kyla for years now and he always gave the girls a discount when they came in and makes sure to add a little extra to their desserts. And when I say 'little' it's an understatement. I liked him already. He was a tall beefy guy with spiky blue hair and twinkling green eyes. He said he was only twenty-three but his size made him look older.

"I mean, you're the director. How do _you_ think I did? Be honest." Kyla was smiling. She was always honest.

"I thought you were great and no I'm not just saying that. When you were up on stage, at first you looked nervous like you didn't really want to be there, but when you and Ashley started that scene it was like you were a completely different person…and you were. Spencer wasn't on stage anymore. She became…"

"Luce." Ashley finishes. I feel her looking at me, her eyes burning my skin and lighting my insides on fire, my heart speeding rapidly like a car accelerating without going anywhere.I blushed.

"Either I've got a split-personality I didn't know about or I was actually believable." I smirked.

"You were _definitely believable_," Kyla says. "You were in the moment and I believed everything you were saying. I didn't question that what you were saying was just an act because I believed it. I didn't see Spencer on stage. I saw Luce on stage…and that's why I want you to be the lead in the play." Kyla says.

I nodded along to what she was saying, taking a moment to let everything absorb. That's when it finally registered. _What?_

"What?"

"You were in the moment and I believed—"

"No…I mean the last part. You want me to be the lead? But I thought Ashley had that part and she was all cool and spectacular with that title. I thought she had that title engraved in her arm, I don't want to take that away from her." I said.

"Your not. There are two main characters. Misty and Colby." She explained.

Colby?

"Colby?" I raise an eyebrow at her. Why did that suspiciously sound like a name intended for a guy? Oh right, because it is.

"Yes, Colby." She said in that familiar tone that Ashley had used earlier when I teased her about Brandi. The tone that sounded like she was annoyed but was just her way of being sarcastic. Déjà vu anyone? She smiled.

"Misty and Colby are perfect for each other just like you and Ashley are perfect together on stage. You're _my_ 'Colby'."

I love you too.

Why was I not so thrilled about this anymore?

Oh right…my mother.

_**So what did you think? Good? Bad? Feel free to leave suggestions of what you may want to see happen in the story. I'm open to just about anything. Till next time! XD**_


	5. Letting It Marinate

**Hey guys. So the chapter is pretty short compared to what I usually hand in but I originally had something longer but I couldn't find a good place to end the chapter without you being terribly confused or annoyed the next time I posted the following chapter. That being said I wanted to thank you guys for reviewing. As always, your comments are always encouraging. I wanna give a ginormous thank you to imaferrarie for her/his wonderful review. Yes my computer troubles are FINALLY over. Thank God! But yes I will try and update when I can but I don't think I'll be able to update week by week. I just don't have that time like I used to. But I WILL update. That I will assure you. You can expect the next update in maybe a week or so, maybe sooner since I'm on my Christmas vacation now. Yay! Now that that's all said and out of the way…**

**ENJOY!**

I wasn't expecting this at all.

I sat there for a few minutes in silence, going over and over everything that had happened today and wondering how the hell I had ended up with the lead role in a play that I never in a million years would have considered auditioning for if it hadn't been for two individuals who will remain nameless. The lead role, whose love interest just so happens to be the very girl that I'm interested in. Why does this feel like a plot line from some B rated movie?

"Spence?"

"Huh?"

"You okay? You look pale all of a sudden." Kyla looked concerned as if I was going to drop dead at any moment. Did I really look that scared?

"Oh I'm fine just …letting it marinate I guess." I sat there quietly again. How was I going to explain this to my mom? I could only be too lucky if 'Colby' was actually a girl. I had my doubts that that was the case but a small part of me dared to hope. But either way if Colby was a guy or a girl, I knew that my mother would have a conniption fit that I would have to play a character that was in love with another girl. Cue the anxiety. There was no way I could do it. No way would she let me. Well…I don't think any way. It was stupid and narrow minded of her, but that was my mother for you.

"Is there something wrong?" Ashley scooted closer to me, if that was possible, and looked at me worriedly. I stared at her for a moment too long, caught up in the heat of warm chocolate brown eyes and dizzy with the smell of cinnamon and something else I couldn't describe.

"Spencer?" I snapped out of it and shook my head. At least pretend like you have a semi-functioning brain Spencer...

Well…what are you waiting for? Speak!

"Y-yeah. I'm good." I turned to Kyla. "Is it okay if I think about it?" She frowned slightly before nodding.

"Take your time. There's no rush. Well there is if you take a week and we don't have a Colby. Then I'll be very sad and most likely hunt you down and threaten you with pointy objects and maybe even a chocolate bar. So be warned." I blinked. She's kidding, Spencer. Relax.

"Um okay." Kyla beamed and Ms Wyler turned her head away to try and hide her amusement.

"You suck at pep talks sis." Ashley looked at her sister disapprovingly as Kyla shrugged.

"No, it's fine. I should probably have an answer for you by tomorrow. Is that alright?" Kyla nodded.

We talked a little more about the play and school before it was time to go. Kyla gave me a tight hug and waved goodbye before turning and exiting the diner. Ms Wyler smiled and nodded at me before following Kyla.

"You ready to go?" Ashley asked softly. I nodded and grabbed my stuff and followed her out to her car.

There was a comfortable silence that filled the car as we drove to my house. I leaned my side against the car door, watching the passing scenery go by and thinking a little too much to be at all helpful.

"Is it this street right here?" I nodded.

When we pulled up in front of my house, Ashley grabbed my hand before I could step out of the door. I turned and looked at the brunette expectantly. She opened her mouth and then closed it, looking like she was going to same something else before saying, "Thanks for coming with us. It was fun." I smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah it was." She smiled a nose crinkling smile that melted my insides before slowly pulling her hand away. "See ya around?"

"Definitely." I grinned back at her and walked up the path to my front porch. Before I opened my door I turned my head around and caught Ashley staring at me from her car, smiling widely. I couldn't help but smile shyly to myself as I turned the knob and made my way inside.

Once the door was closed and I heard the beautiful purr of Ashley's car pull out of my driveway, I allowed myself to lean my back against the door and slide down to the floor.

What have I gotten myself into?

**What indeed Spencer. What indeed…XD**

**So tell me what you think. Good? Bad? **


	6. Soap Operas

**Hey everyone! This chapter is mostly dialoge so bear with me people. I know I shouldn't fret so much about it and if I see that people are still reading this than I'm happy, but I can't help but worry that I'm losing some of you in this story or that maybe I'm lacking in my writing ability. What can I say? I'm a writer whose insecure about her writing. I don't mean to be, I just am. So if you're at all in the mood to stroke my ego just a little don't be afraid to tell me how I'm doing. I'll give you a virtual cookie and send you a years supply of mental happy thoughts! XD Yay! *throws confetti***

**So I've been getting bad about putting this on here so...here ya go.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SoN. It belongs to Tom Lynch and The-N. [Insert clever quip here]**

**ENJOY!**

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"What are you doing on the floor?" A voice says. I lift my head up, my blonde hair draped messily in front of my eyes, to be greeted by the sight of my older brother regarding me oddly.

" Nothing much. Just admiring the tile." I say, sweeping my fingers across the linoleum. Glen raised an eyebrow at that and shook his head.

"Sometimes it feels like a curse to be the normal one in this house." He mused more to himself than to me. It was my turn to raise my eyebrow.

"You're delusional if you think that you're the normal one in this family." I stood and after dusting off the little bits of dirt from my butt, I smirked at my pouting bother, and patted his shoulder like you would to a discouraged child and began to make my way upstairs to my room. Well…I was on my way until Glen's voice stopped me cold.

"Mom's home early by the way." I could feel all the blood drain from my face and I suddenly felt horribly nauseas.

"Sh-she is?"

"Yeah. Something about a mix up with the work schedules or whatever. She seemed pissed about that so I'm warning you to be on your toes tonight." Great. Like I didn't have enough to worry about right now. I still had to find a way to break the news about the play to my parents and manage to avoid my mother's murderous mood as an afterthought…yay.

"Thanks Glen. Did she – I mean was that all she was mad about?" I wasn't sure if Dad had told Mom that I was meeting up with friends or not. He was sometimes bad about that. Glen looked at me strangely.

"As far as I know yeah. Why? Whadya do?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yes nothing."

"Are you sure there's not _something_?"

"Um…yes?" Well that was convincing. Glen gave me a look. But not just any look. _The Look_. The 'I can see right through your lies' look. Yup Glen's Bullshit Detector was in full swing. Every Carlin was equipped with one, unfortunately for me. It's why I never could get away with anything around here and it's also what's turned me into a horrendous liar.

"You wanna try that again Shirley Temple." He crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to look authoritive and like the know-it- all he clearly _thinks_ he is. Bitch.

"Not really Macaulay Culkin. Now if you don't mind, I kinda want to get to my room."

"Macaulay Culkin? I can live with that. Kid was a cutie when he was six."

"Yeah and then he turned fugly when he got older. Face it dude, you're looking at a downward spiral."

"I know what you're doing." And that was a completely random comment.

"I don't know what you're talking about Culky."

"You're trying to brush me off with your sarcasm and get me insulted so I don't pursue further into the conversation. Face it sister, I know you better than you think." Glen mocks my earlier statement, while giving me a smug grin before gently bumping my shoulder on his way up the stairs, leaving me to gape in my 'wtf' face.

Rolling my eyes at my weirdo brother I strode up the stairs and dumped my bag and crap in my room and went back down to get something to drink from the kitchen. I get particularly thirsty when I eat ice cream for some weird reason and this time being no different . I grabbed myself two water bottles from the fridge and scarfed down a bottle in a half in record time.

"_Beatrice don't do this! I love you. I have always loved you. How can you not see that?"_

"_Our love is a lie Donte. The test results were proof of that lie. You are…my long lost brother."_

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" _Who the hell wrote this trash- oh it's a soap opera.

I glance carefully around the kitchen doorway toward the leaving room to see my mother perched on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn on her lap and various wads of tissues littering the floor. Her hair is messily thrown into a bun and her eyes are bloodshot and she looks like she just got though watching Bambi's mother being shot on repeat. The unidentifiable woman sitting on my couch wipes her nose with the back of her sleeve and makes a nasty mucusy sound with her nose. Who is this person?

Alright, Spencer. It's a disgusting sight to behold but she looks vulnerable. Funny how she reserves herself from showing emotion to her children but she's like the effing Niagra Falls when she's taking in such unbelievable plot twists and endless love confessions to make your head spin. Funny indeed. God I hate this situation. Why can't I just go to my room? Because you want Ashley remember. Oh yeah. Damn it!

Suck it up Spence and just go out there and butter her up as much as you can. Do it for Ashley and your future children and their children's children and their children's children's children – Alright I get it! Shut it already?

Taking a much needed deep breath, I psyche myself up one last time and make my way further into the living room.

"Hey Mommy." I say sweetly, taking a seat on the couch next to my wonderful mother and snuggling up to her side, my head resting on her stomach.

"What do you want?" She asks emotionlessly, not taking her eyes off her soup opera. Oh there's my mother. I was afraid she was all but lost in the mass of tissues and cheesy dialogue.

"What makes you think I want something?" I ask innocently. She smirks knowingly.

"Because you only ever call me 'mommy' when you want something, so what is it?" I scoff.

"Well excuse me for trying to reconnect with the womb." My mom shakes her head.

"So then you don't need anything?"

"I didn't say that."

"I know you didn't, I was just checking."

"_But I am in love with you Maria Del Castello Guadalupe! If I can't have you no one can!" *dramatic exit*…*comes back inside* "Forgot my purse…YOU WILL BE MINE!" *storms out again*_

…okay…

"Is dad working late again tonight?" I asked abruptly after a few minutes of silence. I internally crossed my fingers in hopes that he would be home soon so I wouldn't have to have this talk with my mother alone.

"I think so. He didn't say when but he should be home in time for dinner."

"Oh okay. That's good." I mumbled lamely.

"Any particular reason why he needs to be here?"

"Um…no." God I suck at this lying stuff. Mom considered me from the corner of her eye but didn't say anything. Okay awkward moment, say bye bye Spencer.

"I'm just gonna…uh…go now." I stood and walked away from the couch. This was a lost cause anyway. I did all I could here. Pat yourself on the back that your still alive.

"But I thought we were reconnecting. Bored with me already?" Don't answer that Spencer. It's a trap!

"Uh…no. No of course not…I-I just told Chelsea I'd call her at 7:00 so I'm just...ya' know…gonna go do that." I say whilst backing out of the room slowly.

"It's 6:21, Spencer."

"Oh yeah well…I uh…" Wow I'm genius.

"Just go Spencer." My mother waved me off and I bolted out off the room like the bats of hell were after me.

What? The woman makes me nervous!

So it may not have been 7:00 yet and calling Chelsea had been sort of a lie to get me away from mommy dearest as quickly as possible but she had told me to call her when I had gotten home and to make sure I was done with all of my chores and such first before I did. She acts more like a mother than my own mother does. It's weird I know. I've already asked Chelsea if she would adopt me. She said she'd think about it. Cross your fingers.

"Took you long enough. Now dish. Tell me all." Chelsea said excitedly over the phone. I scratched the back of my neck.

"God where to start."

"Preferably from the beginning. "

"Ha ha. Well after you and Xander left, in a quick and suspicious fashion might I add, we both drove to this diner called Sweet Spot—"

"Oh my god really? I love their burgers!" I winced at my friend's squeal.

"Yeah well we only had ice cream and—"

"Really.? Oh my god I love their ice cream!" If possible, her squeal got louder and I pulled the phone away from my ear.

"Yes really Chels."

"Really really?"

"Yes!"

"Jeeze. You don't need to shout Spence. I can hear you just fine."

Grrr.

"So what else happened? Besides you drooling all over Davies I mean." I sighed and recapped the events in the car, Ashley and I's near death experience, Kyla, Sweet Spot, Rodney, my awesome ice cream and when I finally couldn't hold it in any longer I confessed that I was a boy – in the play of course.

Chelsea laughed at me.

I pouted. "It's not funny!"

"Y-yes it is! Oh my god. Wait till Xander finds out. He's going to pee his pants and die laughing." Well thats one of my problems out of the way. A disgusting solution but hey I'm not choosy.

"You can't tell Xander." I told her, throwing myself on my bed.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't even know if I'm going to do it yet."

"What are you talking about Spencer?" Chelsea says in her best Gary Coleman voice.

"What I'm saying is that I haven't told my parents yet so there might be a chance that I won't get to do the play. I really don't want to get my hopes up, Chels." I sadly.

"Oh Spence you should of just said that. Is your mom working late again?"

"No. Something about a schedule change, don't ask."

"I won't. Is your dad there at least?" My shoulders slumped at this.

"No. I'm fucked Chelsea. I told Kyla that I'd have an answer by tomorrow but it seems like my parents have decided to play switcheroony on me today and now – ugh!" There was a pause on Chelsea's end.

"Why don't you just text Kyla and tell her you need more time to decide?"

"Because...you didn't see her face when I told her I needed to think about it. She looked like I just told her I ran over her puppy and then backed over it again."

"Sounds dramatic."

"Fitting though, don't ya think?" I smiled as Chelsea laughed over the phone.

"Yeah. I wouldn't stress over it too much Spence. I'd say do it anyway. Even if they don't like it. But I seriously doubt that your dad is going to care." I ndded my head at that even though she couldn't see me. I wasn't worried about my dad not wanting me to do it.

"I know that. It's my mother I'm worried about and-"

"Yeah well your mom can kiss my beautiful black ass. You're doing the play Spencer. Don't let what your mom might think stop you." I smile warmly at my best friend's caring words and the conviction in which she spoke them.

I chuckled. "Forceful today aren't we?"

"You're damn right I am. You loved being up there. And don't tell me you didn't because I know you did and what made it all even sweeter was Ashley being right there with you. I'm risking sounding dramatic by saying this but you need this, Spence." I thought over her words. Did I though? Yes. I really wanted to do this. Saying yes felt right. Being up there with Ashley felt right. Ashley winking playfully at me felt right. Ashley smiling at me felt right. It all felt wonderful. But...

"If you don't do this I will kill you." I laughed.

"Ouch. Harsh."

"That's love. Now tell me you'll give this positive consideration at least?"

"I will."

"Good. Now I got to go. My English essay isn't gonna write itself unfortunately." There was a knock on my door and Glen poked his head in.

"Hey. Dad brought pizza. Come eat." I nodded and thanked baby jeezus that Dad finally showed.

"Yeah I gotta go too. Dad just got home. I guess nows as good a time as any to break the news." I winced at the thought.

"Good luck. And Spence?"

"Yeah."

"Breathe, just remember to breathe and break a leg."

"Ha ha. Theatre joke. Oh you." Chelsea laughed.

"Best wishes girl. Bye!"

"Bye." I clicked my phone shut and set it on my dresser. I turned to my slightly opened doorway, smelling the delicious pizza from up here. I sighed.

Time to face the music.

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**So what do you think? Bad? Good? Did any of you catch one of the Soap Opera bits? **


	7. A Rare Occurence

**So I wasn't all too thrilled with my last chapter but I'm really liking this one. Maybe because I incorporated a little back story. Hmm. Whatever it is I hope you guys enjoy it and tell me what you think. I never know if I'm leaving anything out. Things we'll start to pick up once Spencer goes to school tomorrow. She doesn't know this yet but things are about to get a little more dramatic then maybe she's comfortable with. XD Yay. I love making Spencer uncomfortable. Is that wrong of me? Oh well. **

**Music: Sometime Around Midnight by The Airborne Toxic Event**

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A Carlin family dinner was a mandatory event when both Mom and Dad were both home at the same time. Not that I minded but ever since we moved here they've been rare. Back in Ohio, we made it a point to have dinner every night of the week. It was expected and looked forward to by everyone. It was the part of the day where we all found ourselves relaxing and unwinding from the stress of it all. We told stories and laughed, threw banter across the table and on occasion, food.

Back then there was less distance from each other and more harmony between us. We were a loving working unit. The picture perfect family. It wasn't until we moved that the foundation that our family stood on was shaken and began to crumble under our feet. I think that was the worst part about it. No one expected it and no one did anything once things started to look bad. We became strangers to each other. We didn't have family dinners anymore. No more of Dad's homemade lasagna, no Carlin Family Movie Night Extravaganzas. After Glen graduated he stopped coming home and would be gone for days. Mom…well mom just didn't come home and when she was home she was asleep or too tired to act human and carry a simple conversation. It was like being in the same room with an unpredictable grizzly bear and watching as some idiot slowly crept closer to it with a stick. When my mother was on edge, you were on edge.

But Dad was the saddest part. I don't think he knew what to do. I watched as he tried fruitlessly to get my mom to stay home more; to pick different hours so she would be home when we were but it was impossible with her. My mother had a knack for making everything excruciatingly difficult. They fought and screamed at each other about pointless things. I watched as my dad's sweet disposition turned tired and burdened. The light began to disappear from his eyes and I willed myself not to cry every time I saw him. He walked around defeated when he thought me and Glen weren't looking and I…well I didn't know what the fuck was going to happen. I was too scared to think on it too long. What do you do when you're a teenager and your family is slowly and painfully tearing apart at the seams? Well when you're me you have wonderful friends who thankfully don't ask too many questions and invite you over for dinner; you cling to them. Chelsea was my rock when things got rough. Xander, thankfully, knew when to filter his words when I was at my breaking point. They've both seen me cry over what was happening to my family. The atmosphere at home was always tense to the point of choking a person. Though everyone went about their lives like everything was fine and nothing was out of the ordinary. It was like an unspoken rule not to bring it up.

Dad was normally the one to get home an hour or two after I got out of school. Unless I was at Chelsea's, we would usually work on dinner together. Mom was usually asleep or still at work. We knew better than to disturb her if it was the former. I had always been closer with my dad than I was with either my brother or my mom. I think it was because I was just like him. I looked like my mother but I was in every way my father's child. You could see it from our weird sense of humor, to taste in music, to our overzealous love for sweets and everything chocolate. Yup. I got that from him. I looked up to him and he adored me. It was a win-win.

As I slowly made my way downstairs, I psyched myself up once more. I was nervous as fuck but I knew that what I was about to do had to be done. When I got into the dining area, I took my usual spot next to my dad's right as he sat head of the table, my mother was on the other end and Glen was across from me.

My brother made a frustrated noise. "Took you long enough, Shirley. Dad wouldn't let us eat until you got here."

"Well I'm here so you can quit whining Culky." My brother smiled at me and I returned it. I unconsciously took both my dad and mother's hands and Glen follows my example. Dad led us in grace and Glen dove into the pizza box once we were finished. I smiled at my brother's piggish ways. I missed this. All of us just eating and being together. You never realize how precious something is until it's been taken away from you, if only for a few months.

"So how was your day at school dove." My dad asked as he grabbed a slice from the box. We were rotating it around and grabbing what we wanted. I held the hood of the box up and grabbed two slices for myself before turning the box to my mother. I was stalling. Dad raised an eyebrow at me. He could tell too. I stuffed a piece in my mouth and chewed slowly. Dad looked at me for a moment and then turned to Glen. Glen shrugged.

"How was your day Glen?" Glen smiled around a mouthful of pizza.

"Well I think I may have gotten that job at Beck's." Glen smiled proudly.

"Really? That's wonderful son." Dad patted Glen on the shoulder.

"When do you know for sure?" Mom said, cutting up her cheese pizza into little squares. Yeah I said cutting it. I don't know why but it always annoyed me that she did that. Pizza is meant to be eaten with your hands unless you're four or something.

"Um sometime this week I guess." Glen shriveled under my mother's gaze and I didn't blame him. Mom was usually disagreeable when she was in one of her moods.

Goodie.

"Well I think that's great news Glen. If you're so confident about it I'm sure you've got this job in the bag."

Thanks Dad." Glen smiled.

"So dove," Here it comes. "How was your day?" My dad smiled at me and I stopped myself from gulping audibly. I took a big sip of my Sprite and then set the can carefully on the table.

"It was fine. Great, actually. I got an A on that history test I was studying for." Yes start it small. Get them happy and satisfied and then rip the carpet out from under them. Perfect plan!

...I'm so screwed.

"Um the rest of my classes were fine." Except Chemistry. Madison was too busy glaring hatefully at me from across the room for me to feel at all comfortable.

I took another sip of my Sprite and held it close to my face. I'm hiding behind a soda can, if this doesn't tell you how scared I am of telling them I don't know what will. Dad gives me _the look._

Fuck.

"A-a-andIaudtionedforaplay." I spit out in one breath. I closed my eyes with a groan. For any of you that may be confused, my middle name is not and has never been Smooth, Suave, or Subtle. Ever.

"What was that sweetheart? I couldn't understand you."

I sigh. "When I got to school today, Chelsea and Xander had told me that they had put my name on one the auditions sheets and that the auditions were today after school." I paused and looked at him. My dad gave me a nod, encouraging me to continue. I didn't have the heart or the courage to look at my mother as I told them my story. I took another sip.

"So I went knowing that with Chelsea and Xander there that there was no way I could get myself out of it so when my name was called I went up and auditioned…and I got the part." I paused. This was the climax of my story. What I say next will be the turning point.

"Well that's incredible news, dove. This calls for a celebration. What do you say Paula? Should we whip out the ice cream?" My mother shrugged. Dad frowned and my mother saw this and then nodded. Celebratory ice cream? The ice cream that always tastes better than regular ice cream? I'm drooling at the thought.

"Spencer? Ya got a little." Glen indicates to my mouth. I grab a napkin and hurriedly wipe the spittle from my chin. I glare at him when he laughs.

"Shut up." My dad rubs my shoulder and smiles.

"There's more." I tell them five minutes later and I've finished my pizza and my soda is sadly empty. Damn it. There goes my shield.

"What is it dove?"

"Um it's about my character…I'm just not sure how to tell you guys this..."

'It's a boy! It's a boy!'

'Mom, Dad. I'm playing a boy which means I have a fictional penis. So who wants ice cream?'

'I'm gay. But it's alright because every day after school at rehearsals I magically turn straight…because I play a boy…with a fictional penis.' Yeah no.

"Well whatever it is sweetie you can tell us." I love my dad. I sigh again.

"I'm the male lead." I knew I wasn't wrong with their reactions when I saw my mother visibly stiffen.

"What?" She said her jaw clenched.

"You're the lead? Spencer that's marvelous." I beamed at him. I wonder if he heard me of he just doesn't care. By the look he's giving me I'm gonna go with the later.

"Arthur? Are we really going to allow this?" She says bewildered.

"I don't see why not Paula. Did you not hear your daughter? She got the lead." My father grinned proudly. Mom's scowl deepened.

"Yes for a male role!" She spat.

"Why should that matter? Spencer auditioned and got the part. You shouldn't worry yourself with details and just be happy for her."

"I'm _not_ happy with her because I don't agree with it! Why do they even let girls audition for roles that are intended for boys anyways? It's not right?"

"Paula you're acting stupid. This is a good thing. Don't twist this around and turn it into something negative." Dad shot back.

"Oh so now I'm stupid is that it?"

"I didn't mean it like that. You know what I meant."

"Obviously not. Because now everything I say is suddenly stupid." Great now I started a fight. This is going horribly. This was one of the reasons why I was terrified of telling them. Now they'll fight for any hour and then my mother will give my father the silent treatment for a few days. And it'll be my fault.

Glen sent me a sympathetic look. I smiled sadly at him and stared at my empty plate.

"She is not going to be in this play and that is final Arthur." Wait what?

"Paula! You're being unreasonable. Maybe you should go lie down. The stress is obviously getting to."

"No! My word is final," She turns to glare at me. I shrink at her gaze. "When you auditioned, did you know you were trying out for a male role Spencer?" I froze. I hated talking to my mother when she was like this. I shook my head feebly. If possible, her scowl deepened.

"No." She said in finality.

"Paula! Stop this. You're being –"

"If you tell me one more time that I'm being unreasonable Arthur Carlin then you most definitely will find yourself sleeping on the couch tonight." All of us except for my mother's eyes widened.

"Paula –" My mother rose from the table and left the dining room without a backwards glance.

…

Fuck. Just…fuck.

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**Good? Bad? Go tell me what you think in a review. Now off with you! Shoo! **


	8. The New Drama Geek

**Hey folks. Sorry for the wait. Finals have been killer and I just needed time to study and then unwind afterwards. But anyways, I just want to clear the air on a couple of comments/messages I got about the last chapter. For those of you that said that Paula's reaction was a little…much? That was the intention. It'll be explained later but for now she needs to be seen as the dragon lady who has the tendacy to over react in a big way. But either way, I'm happy you guys are so involved in the story. So thanks for all the reviews and for those of you reading. Makes me all toasty inside. *hugs self* XD**

**Now! Enough with the babbling. =)**

**ENJOY!**

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I sighed heavily as I threw myself on my bed. Tonight definitely didn't go as planned but I can't say I'm totally surprised. Feeling the need to vent (more like punch something) I sent a quick text to my friends.

**Me: Big surprise. Mom flipped.**

**Xander: What'd you expect? You moms crazier than a cracked out polar bear.**

**Chelsea: I'm sorry girl. You want me to come over? We can both take turns spitting in her coffee mug for tomorrow?**

**Me: Lol. No but thanx. I'll just see ya'll tomorrow. Night Chels.**

**Chelsea: Nite! =)**

**Me: Yeah I know this Xan. You're not telling me n e thing I don't already kno. I'm tired. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Night."**

**Xander: k. do u still need a ride 4 tomorrow? Dads gunna let me use his truck.**

My phone buzzed in my hands as I was punching in my reply, a number I didn't recognize flashing on the screen. Who could that be?

**Unknown Caller: Hey.**

**Me: Um hi. Who is this?**

**Unknown Caller: Oh sorry. Its Ash.**

**Me: Hold that thought Xander.**

**Xander: Um ok.**

**Me: How'd u get my #?**

**Unknown Caller: From Kyla. Is that ok? : (**

Okay? That was effing brilliant! I quickly scrolled through my inbox and updated my contact list so I could add Ashley's number. You never know when your phone may, for no other reason than to be a bitch, decide to suddenly explode, taking the sweet seven digit number of your sexy-as-hell crush into oblivion. Ha! Saved it.

**Me: Yeah yeah that's fine. Um was there something you needed?**

**Future Wife: I thought u knew. Ky said u needed a ride to school tomorrow. I was just confirming. Was she wrong?**

**Me: …? No. How'd she know I needed a ride?**

**Future Wife: One of ur friends called her and asked if I could help.**

WHAT?

**Me: Xander! Did you call Kyla and ask Ashley Davies to give me a ride?**

**Xander: Uh…no. was I supposed to? Is Kyla Ashley's hot sister?**

**Me: I guess. Are you sure you didn't text her?**

**Xander: I thnk I'd remember txting a hottie Spence. Btw can I have her numbah?**

**Me: NO!**

**Xander: Aww come on! Please Spence. I'll b ur bestie 4 life.**

**Me: No.**

**Xander: …meanie.**

I rolled my eyes. Baby.

**Future Wife: Luce?**

**Me: Hold on a sec.**

**Future Wife: …k.**

**Me: CHELSEA!**

**Chelsea: WHAT? 0_0**

**Me: Did you call Kyla and tell her I needed a ride to school tomorrow?**

**Chelsea: Kyla who?**

**Me: CHELSEA! DX**

**Chelsea: Oh that Kyla. I may have. ;)**

**Me: No winking. There will be no winking from u missy. Why'd u do that?**

**Chelsea: Bcuz u needed a ride. Duh.**

**Me: Yeah but y Ashley?**

**Chelsea: Why not Ashley?**

**Me: Ugh!**

**Chelsea: I'll take that as a 'thank you Chelsea'. Lol.**

**Me: I'm going to kill u Chelsea!**

**Chelsea: Wrong again. XD**

**Me: Ur evil. *pouts***

**Chelsea: I know but you still love meh. B happy I only use my powers for good. See ya tomorrow! =)**

**Me: Ugh fine. Bye.**

**Chelsea: Nitey Nite. ;)**

**Me: Ashley?**

**Future Wife: Yup. Still here. Do u still need a ride?**

**Me: Um. Yeah. I mean... if its no trouble.**

**Future Wife: Not at all. I would've just ignored Kyla if I didn't want to help. =)**

**Me: Well that's good. Thank you.**

**Future Wife: No prob. I'm always willing to help a damsel in distress. B)**

**Me: Lol. I never knew you were so chivalrous Ms. Davies.**

**Future Wife: Yeah. Well there's a lot u don't kno about me. ;)**

I bit my lip. If only that was an invitation.

**Me: So saving helpless damsels is more of a hobby?**

A few minutes passed before my phone buzzed again.

**Future Wife: Only the pretty ones. ;) What can I say? I'm a walking enigma.**

A sexy enigma.

**Me: lol. Well then dear Watson, shall I fetch a magnifying glass and my miserable British accent?**

God I'm such a dork.

A moment later my cell buzzes.

**Future Wife: I wouldn't call it miserable Luce. =)**

**Me: Hmm. I guess not. You still remember the way to my house?**

**Future Wife: Mm-hmm. I shouldn't have too much trouble. If I end up at a meth lab I'll know I've gone too far.**

**Me: Atta girl. Don't let those meth heads scare you either. They're like bunnies. X)**

**Future Wife: Lol. I'm sure. Well I g2g. I'll see you n the morning?**

**Me: I hope so. You are my only means of transportation. : )**

**Future Wife: lol. I guess I am. God you're clingy! =)**

**Me: Like a sea monkey. =D**

**Future Wife: Cute. G'night.**

**Me: Night. C=**

**Xander: Um. Hello?**

**Me: oh sorry Xander. I had…stuff.**

**Xander: Whatever I don't care. R u gunna need me to pick u up or not?**

**Me: Nah. But thanx.**

**Xander: No prob. Don't say I nvr did nothing 4 ya. ;)**

**Me: Lol. I won't. Night.**

**Xander: Whatever. =)**

The big ass grin wouldn't leave my face as I got ready for bed. Who knew that whining about my problems to my friends would end up making me feel better? Course Chelsea did go behind my back and orchestrated Ashley Davies giving me a ride tomorrow but in all honesty, I couldn't find it in myself to be mad about that. Maybe a little annoyed that my friends were once again messing with my love life, or rather lack thereof, but definitely not mad. I mean, come on, it's _Ashley Davies_! Okay maybe I'm getting a little too excited about this…hee hee. Nope. I'm good.

* * *

Next morning…

I have nothing to wear! How is it that I can't find anything in here that's not baggy? Or anything at all –period?

This is what I get for not doing laundry last night like I knew I should have. Then again, last night was practically a nightmare, so venturing downstairs would have gotten me killed or burned alive from mom's laser beam eyes. That woman could glare like no other.

_It was just like you predicted._

Shut up.

_Well it is true though. You can't deny that. You knew that at least one of them, most likely your mother, was going to have a conniption fit and refuse you the chance to play the part, insuring any chance you may have had with Ashley to come to a violent and screeching halt. Doesn't the crushing reality of the situation make you wanna dance?_

Why are you still talking? I forbid you from uttering another negative word. You're like Xander after a sugar crash, all bitchy and pessimistic but without the drowsiness.

_Thinking._

What?

_I'm not speaking. I'm the rational voice in your head. Which means we're thinking the same thing. I just have a more blunt approach to the whole thing. You could learn from me actually. You probably should._

Ugh! I don't have time for this. I have to find something at least somewhat decent to wear for Ashley and you're not helping.

_Who said anything about helping? I just like pointing out the obvious and pissing you off. I think it's working splendidly._

Indeed. Now shut it. I'm busy.

_You're crabby. You must be a blast at parties! Oh wait. You don't go to those do you? Why is that Spencer, hmmm?_

I'm not listening to you. You have no power here! Be gone.

_Did you really just say that? Yikes and I thought Xander was sad._

I _thought _it actually. So shoo bitch, don't bother me.

_Fine. But I'll be back my pretty._

…

Oi. If this isn't a sign that I need professional help… Okay that's the last time I fall asleep watching the Wizard of Oz.

I shook my head and then began wading through the sea of clothes on my floor and dove back into my closet once again.

Sometimes being a girl is the biggest hassle in the world.

* * *

An hour later…

Finally! All ready. I even put a little make up on. I know right. Spencer Carlin wearing make-up? Is it the sign of the apocalypse?

I think not. And it also doesn't mean I'm trying too hard. Not even. –cough- But either way I don't think I look half bad to be honest. I'm wearing the eyeliner that Chelsea bought me because she said it 'made my eyes pop' and a little blush. I didn't need any foundation because I didn't have a blemish on me. Thank goodness. After spending the past forty-five minutes finding something suitable to wear I came across one of the graphic tees that Chelsea had designed for me a month in a half ago. It was a white shirt with elaborate bright ocean blue swirls spiraling and weaving around even more black swirls in the shape of a bird in flight on my right breast. It was such a beautiful design that I had thought about getting it tattooed to my body. Course mom would inevitably have a shit fit but that's to be expected I suppose. Still the rebel in me wanted to mark some usually concealed part of my body and not give a rats ass what my mother would do if I did.

She'd kill me, naturally. But it would soothe the curious and rebellious teenage demon inside me. Plus, it'd make me feel cool.

I donned the shirt and my dark blue skinnies and after a little more rifling around I found my gray vest with the silver silk back. I never wore it because, again, mom didn't really approve of me wearing men's attire but I bought it at a thrift store a while ago and had been meaning to wear it. Now seems as good a time as any I guess. Mom's still asleep so its not like she'll find out I even own it. I left it unbuttoned, thinking that my friend would appreciate that I was wearing one of her clothes. I slipped on the appropriate accessories and my trademark leather armband and finally threw on my black converse. After checking in the mirror to make sure everything was in order, I deemed myself acceptable and grabbed my book bag, making sure all my shit was accounted for, I grabbed my house keys and my cell. I grabbed myself a green apple from the fruit bowl and a cereal bar from the pantry. By now Ashley shou—

_Buuuzzzzzzzz!_

Aaand that would be her. I noticed the red beast purring outside and walked to the passenger side door.

"Morning." Ashley greeted smoothly when I opened the door.

"Morning." I beamed, getting in.

"You look cheery this mor– holy wow."

"What?" Does she not like my outfit? Crap. I did overdue it, didn't I?

"Nothing. You just look…different." Her eyes slowly observed my form. Raking from my converse, up my jean clad thighs to my vest and shirt and finally to my eyes. I blushed.

"Different…bad?" She seemed to snap out of it and shook her head vigorously, her chocolate curls swinging in her face. God those eyes are turning my insides to jelly.

"Never bad. You look…" She considered her words before supplying breathily, "gorgeous."

My face felt hot and I smiled stupidly. "Thanks. You look beautiful as always." Shit! I slapped my hand to my mouth, utterly mortified that that came out of me. Shit shit shit! I think my filter is on the fritz again. Crap. Course it seems to do that a lot around Ashley.

Ashley bit her lip and repressed a giggle. "Thank you. That's sweet of you." I nodded, not trusting myself _not_ to embarrass the crap out of me before we've even had a chance to leave my drive way. We settle into an easy silence once she pulls out and turns in the direction of King High. I found myself breathing normally again. School was a fifteen minute drive from my house, not including traffic so I wondered if it was going to get awkward if we didn't fill those fifteen or so minutes with mindless chatter. I should probably say something but I didn't want to risk making an ass out of myself again. Thankfully Ashley saved me from having to worry about it.

"So what grade are you in?" She asks. That's simple.

"I'm a senior. How about you?"

"Senior." She replies.

"Cool."

"Yup." Wow that was riveting. Guess its my turn.

"Have you always liked theatre?"

"Not really. I only ever got into it because of Kyla." I nodded. That made sense. It was something they could do together. At least I'm assuming that's the reason.

"What about you? What's your story?"

"My story?"

"Yeah. How long have you been a drama geek?" She smiles playfully.

"Um since yesterday I suppose." Ashley gives me an incredulous look.

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Seriously?"

"As a heart attack."

"Wow. But you were so good." I shrugged.

"Beginners luck."

Ashley shook her head.

"Not even close. You've got something Spence, something real special. Kyla couldn't stop talking about how well you did when we got home."

"Really?" She nods, smiling softly.

"You really impressed her. Not many people can do that. She's kind of a tough crowd." She smiles fondly at the thought of her sister. I'm going to go on a limb and say that they must be close.

"Well I'm glad I could garner such high praise." Ashley chuckled and nodded.

"You'll never get anything better than Kyla's word that you are the shit, trust me." I laughed because that is exactly how Kyla would sound.

"Gosh that chick is so full of herself." I reply jokingly. She chuckles and nods in agreement.

"Very."

"So," She drawls out the syllable. I lift an eyebrow. "Any thought on what you're gonna do about the play?"

I should have expected that. I sighed deeply.

"I have a lot of thoughts on it actually."

"Oh." Ashley looked over at me but didn't say anything further when she saw my pensive expression.

"I think…" I sighed again. Was I really going to do it? Or was I going to give in to what my mother wanted…again?

"…no." I whispered softly, shaking my head. Ashley's face fell, a look of pure disappointment becoming visible. I lifted my gaze from my lap and realized what I said out loud.

"No no no! That's not what I meant. I meant no to –I should have said yes. _Yes_ I want to be in the play." I stammered out quickly. God that was hard to get out but it was worth it when Ashley's smile widened and glowed brighter than I had ever seen before. Had I done that?

"Shit. Really?" I nodded with vigor. She clutches a hand to her chest.

"Crap you almost gave me a heart attack. I almost strangled you." I almost laughed too.

"Now why would you do something crazy like that? Then what would Misty do without her dear Colby, hmm?" I smirked.

"People do crazy things when they're in love, Spence. So who knows?" She said, winking at me. Is it weird that I love her even more because she winks at me so much? Yeah? Yeah you're probably right. Maybe.

We fell into a comfortable silence the rest of the way to school. Ashley, thankfully, following the rules of the road and hadn't sped up once. I wanted to believe that she wasn't rushing because she wanted to remain in my company for as long as she was able. But that seemed unlikely. She was probably wanting to avoid a repeat of what happened yesterday, ya know with the nearly dying and such. Yeah that was it.

Ashley pulled into a parking spot once we arrived. The school bell wouldn't ring for another fifteen minutes so I figured that my friends would be here by now. Ashley smiled at me and walked over to my side of the car, opening it for me. I grinned shyly at her and climbed out. Such a gentleman.

"So I'll see you around?" She said, shutting my door and locking the car.

I nodded. "Thanks again for the ride. We managed to get here without me having to pull us over." I joked. She smacked my arm playfully.

"I'm an excellent driver thank you and it was totally all your fault anyway. You distracted me." I smirked.

"Whatever you say, _Speed Racer_." Ashley smiled an adorable nose crinkling smile that melted my heart and caused my smile to grow wider.

"I gotta meet up with Ky but I'll talk to you later Spence."

"Absolutely." I waved goodbye and turned to walk in search of my friends where I knew they would be. I headed to my locker and found Xander and Chelsea leaning themselves against my locker and talking quietly to one another. Xander shifted his eyes around; making sure no one was listening in on their seemingly important (suspicious!) conversation. Hmm.

I narrowed my eyes at my friends while Xander swept his eyes across the hall until they landed on me. The boy's eyes widened and I automatically raised an eyebrow in question.

"Whatcha guys doin'?" I asked casually, walking up to them. They separated rather quickly and Xander's eyes flickered to Chelsea.

"Nothing!" He squeaked loudly. I frowned, looking to Chelsea.

"What he means is that we were talking about nothing _interesting_." Chelsea gives the boy a look. "Isn't that right, Xander?" Xander says nothing and continues to gape at me like a useless fish. Chelsea smacks him.

"R-right! Yeah we were doing nothing interesting at all. Nope nothing. Nada." He smiles a little too wide and I worried that his face would freeze that way forever.

"Oookay. Well as amazing as talking about how you were talking about _nothing_ all morning is, I'd much rather get to my locker so if…you wouldn't mind." I indicated to my locker and they slowly moved aside.

"Xander close your mouth. People are staring." I said. He blinked.

"Are you wearing make-up?" He squinted his eyes suspiciously as he pointed a finger at me. I shrugged and grabbed the textbook I needed for my next class.

"Maybe. So what if I am? It's not a crime." I huffed.

"Since when do you wear _make-up_ and when did you get your haircut?" He asked. I chuckled.

"I didn't. I just curled it a little. What? You don't like it?" I feigned hurt. Xander rubbed the back of his neck.

"Its not that I don't like it. It's a surprise I guess. Did you do this for Ashley?" He smiled knowingly. I blushed.

"No…okay kind of. But I thought it was time to try something new and this morning seemed like the perfect opportunity for that." Chelsea smiled warmly at me as she fingered the opening of my vest, pulling it away from my shirt so she could see. Her smile grew.

"And you're wearing my shirt. I was wondering if this was ever going to see the light of day. It looks amazing with the vest. And it definitely makes your eyes pop, girl." See, what I tell ya.

"I thought that was what the eyeliner was for?" I questioned.

She rolled her eyes. "It is. The shirt just makes them stand out even more. You look great. Much better than the hoodies and ponytails you're always sportin'." I smiled then immediately deflated at the verbal attack on my hoodies. My hoodies were awesome, okay?

"Thanks guys."

"So how monstrous was your mother this morning or was the dragon still asleep in her cave when you left?" Chelsea asked.

"Thankfully she was still out cold by the time Ashley showed up so I figured spitting in her favorite coffee mug would've been pointless if I wasn't there to see it." My friends laughed.

"Especially if I wasn't there to lend a hand." Chelsea pointed out.

"What'd your dad do?" Xander asked. I frowned.

"He tried to make her understand but she still flipped out and then she left in the middle of dinner. Dad didn't say anything after that and I was afraid to ask." Chelsea rubbed my shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, girl. You're mother's pretty insane and I would be too if I was working the hours she was but still. I'm sure your dad will find a way to make her understand." She reassured.

"Besides, Your mom's her own brand of crazy. At some point she's gonna wake up from her fucked up little world and realize what she's missing. Until then, strut your lady stuff and raise your rainbow flag high in the sky. I'll take pictures." Xander flashes me a cheesy grin and snaps a few pictures with his finger camera. I laugh and squeeze his forearm in thanks.

"I'll try and I appreciate it." Xander grins crookedly and waves me off like it was no big deal. But I knew it was. As much of an ass as he can be sometimes I knew he cared and was secretly sensitive under that thick layer of masculine pride.

"Alright. I'm starting to get tired of talking about her so enough about my mommy issues, please. It's only serving to waste my morning and our precious breath."

Chelsea rolled her eyes at my usual dramatics.

"Yeah but what're you going to do about Kyla though? She's going to want an answer."

"I know that." I said softly. "I just need to decide if disobeying my mom is worth it." Just as the words left my mouth, a beautiful brunette turned the corner and made her way down the hall in her familiar confident swagger, her black skinny jeans hugging her form just right and guaranteeing my eyes to never stray from her body. Ashley caught my eyes, smirked and winked at me as she passed and I all but lost my breath.

Guh…

"Spencer? Spencer!"

"Ow." I hissed as I rubbed my injured arm, glaring at my friend."What gives?"

"Did you not hear me calling you?" I begin to open my mouth in reply but Chelsea cuts me off with a roll of her eyes and a dismissing wave of her hand. "Never mind. Don't answer that. Of course you didn't. Your brain usually short circuits when Davies is in the room."

I scoff indignantly. "Does not." Chelsea gives me a look that I ignore in favor of tracking Ashley's retreating form until she turns the corner and disappears from my sight, leaving me to sigh dreamily in her direction. Chelsea says nothing for a moment and instead gives me a meaningful look.

"Is it worth it now?"

I nod without thinking of my words. "Oh yeah." A wistful smile spreads across my face.

Chelsea smirks smugly. "Thought so." She lazily slipped her arm over my shoulders and squeezed gently."You know I only torture you because I love you, right? I hear its how loved ones show affection for the other."She smiled gently at me and I returned the sentiment despite the odd way she phrased it. I wanted to protest and tell her differently but I stopped myself and shrugged. My friends had their own way of showing that they cared and I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest. I loved them too much to want any different.

"We should probably get to class," Chelsea suggested. I sighed at that but agreed.

"Do we have to?" Xander asked. "I hate my next class."

"You hate all of your classes, Xan," Chelsea pointed out.

"All the more reason not to go." He looked at us hopefully.

"I'm not skipping with you if that's what you're suggesting. I'm in enough trouble with my mom as it is." I shouldered my bag as a point of finality on the subject. Xander pouted and sagged his shoulders in defeat.

"Fine. I'll only die of intense boredom but as long as we don't ruff mama bears feathers." He trails off. Odd choice of words.

"You want to explain to her why I skipped?" I raised an eyebrow at him, already knowing the answer. I saw a flash of fear in his eyes and I stifled the laughter that was desperately trying to bubble up from inside me. Xander was terrified of my mother.

"Uh good point…well come on slow pokes. Best not be late now." His voice suddenly chipper and cracking slightly at the end. Chelsea and I followed as we giggled behind him. Too easy.

It felt weird walking into my first period without Chelsea and Xander by my side. The two had ditched me rather suddenly before we could enter the classroom. Chelsea said she had to go to the office to pick something up that her dad had dropped off and Xander just mumbled something that vaguely sounded like 'potty break' and then turned and high-tailed it in the wrong direction of where the bathrooms were located.

Now if you're wondering if I had found my friend's peculiar behavior suspicious, you'd be half right. Then again, when aren't my friends acting strange?

Yeah that one stumped me too.

Shaking my head I made me way over to my normal seat and slumped ungracefully into it, trying to force some semblance of normalcy into the morning, I pulled out my worn sketchbook and began doodling. I never liked to plan what I was going to draw, thinking too much about it made it difficult for me to follow through. I knew vaguely what I wanted to create; it's the getting there that was a fun mystery. I drew intently for a few minutes until the teacher finally rushed in the room, hair disheveled like he just rolled out of bed only seconds ago, his wrinkled gray tie pulled loosely around his neck, and looking like he hadn't shaved in days. So nothing out of the ordinary there. Mr. Pitts was a scruffy man. Well scruffier than what we're usually used to since the lovely Mrs. Hamilton is on maternity leave and Mr. Pitts was allotted as our long term substitute. But for whatever the reason that I don't truly care about, Mr. Pitts was always late to class and with an ever present sheen of sweat on his forehead and his usual sweat stains under his armpits. So overall, he was a mess. A scruffy, sweat soaked, annoying mess.

"Um – so yes, morning class. Today we are going to be continuing with our lecture from yesterday. I hope you all did the reading that I had assigned." The teacher pushed his crooked glasses further up his nose and looked over at us. A girl in the second row raised her hand shyly and spoke once Mr. Pitts had nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"You never assigned any reading. You rushed out of the room before any of us had realized the bell had rung." A few students snickered. The man sputtered at this and removed his eyes from the class and started shifting papers around.

"I assure you that I did Ms—"He trailed off and looked at the girl expectantly.

"Wallace."

"Right. You must not have heard me then." The girl shook her head.

"No. I was listening perfectly sir, you just never said anything." More snickers.

"I-I'm sorry to say that you were unable to d-do the reading that I _did_ assign. But it's no concern of mine if your ears aren't as sharp as you may believe them to be. Your declining grade will not be on me, but you Ms. Wallace. Now as I was say–"

"Well actually it is if most of the students are _failing_ because _you_ can't remember to inform us of what our assigned homework is _before_ you scamper off to God knows where." The class roared with laughter. I raised an eyebrow at the ballsy retort, coughing in my hand to cover my chuckle. Girl had fire, I'll give her that, then again, Mr. Pitts wasn't threatening in anyway, even when he was literally threatening you with detention or more homework. He never really delivered on his intimidation though, just spewed them out awkwardly in the hopes that someone would hopefully take him seriously for once.

I kinda felt sorry for him.

Mr. Pitts mumbled something under his breath and turned stiffly around and started writing on the board. He didn't say much for most of the class period, while the nameless girl sat in her seat with what looked like a triumphant smile on her face. I couldn't really tell from where I was seated all the way in the back, my preferred spot even though my assigned seat was in the front row because of my last name. Stupid alphabetical-order seating chart.

The bell finally rang and I gathered my stuff and stood from my seat. Chelsea and Xander hadn't returned from wherever the hell they ran off to so I was stuck all period actually doing my work. Some friends.

Second period with Mrs. Erikson passed by relatively in the same manner. I had Xander in this class but he was also a no show. I frowned at his empty seat. Did he really ditch like he said he wanted to? I found that odd. He wasn't one to ditch alone. Could that be the reason why Chelsea wasn't in class too? I shook my head at that. That was even more perplexing of an idea. She would never ditch, especially without me. She said that in actuality, Xander drove her nuts sometimes (big shocker) and that my level of crazy helped to balance things out considerably. I had looked at her like she was the crazy one because that made absolutely no sense but she had shrugged and told me that was the point and that it helped. I didn't question her strange logic and had chosen instead to throw myself on her bad.

So Chelsea ditching with Xander is a very big no.

But then where in the frilly heck were they?

"Spencer!" A voice shouted. I turned in the direction of the voice thinking it might be Chelsea, screeching her apologies for abandoning me. Soon I expected Xander to be groveling at my feet and hastily giving me Starbucks coffee as a peace offering. Mmm…mocha frap with chocolate syrup. Drool.

"Spencer?" Said a voice that sounded nothing like an apologetic Chelsea or a groveling Xander. I shook my head slightly and found a small pretty brunette standing in front of me. Nope. Definitely not Xander.

"Hey. You okay?" Kyla asked concernedly.

I nodded. "Yeah. Sorry. Just trying to figure out where my no good friends went to." I smiled at her. She nodded but there was something in her eyes like she knew exactly what I was talking about. I raised an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't by any chance know where Chelsea is, would you?" She shook her head, a mysterious smirk firmly in place. I narrowed my eyes but didn't say anything on it. I couldn't really prove that she was lying after all. I only had my gut to tell me that she was. That wasn't necessarily enough reason to grill her though. Darn it.

"Nope." She said, popping the p cheerfully. "But I'll be sure to let her know that you're looking for her…if I see her." If it wasn't for the fact that the brunette was an aspiring and talented actress and my 'Carlin Bullshit Detector' wasn't screaming 'Lies lies! She speaks lies!"…I might have actually believed her.

"Thanks. That would be great." The brunette beamed at me. Probably thinking that she had successfully fooled me. I licked my teeth, the spit smacking against the roof of my mouth noisily. I hated being lied to but I took it in stride.

"Not to be rude or anything, but was there something you needed?" Her grin slipped a bit but bounced back just as quickly as it had fallen. Sheesh. She could stop traffic and cause head on collisions with that smile. So damn bright.

"Oh yes, I wanted to know if you had made a decision or not." My forehead creased. I'm surprised she was asking. I would have thought that Ashley had told her my answer by now. "About the play." She clarified, taking my silence for confusion.

"Um yeah. Sure." I muttered quickly, hoping that that would be the end of it and the shorter brunette would just leave me alone so I could track down my friends. Kyla crossed her arms over her chest and regarded me, no longer smiling and looking every bit as professional as she did at the auditions. She was all business now.

"Alright then. What's your answer."

"I thought that was my answer." I said.

"Yes about your decision or yes about the play?"

"Isn't that kinda the same thing?" I rubbed the back of my neck, suddenly feeling uneasy at the firm gaze Kyla was giving me.

"Depends on how you look at it I guess. So you'll do it?" I nodded.

"I will." I quickly covered my poor ears at the sharp squeal coming from the smaller girl. The girl had some lungs.

"YAAAY! I mean -cough- …good. I'm glad. Very pleased to hear it." I held in a chuckle. Kyla was practically vibrating with poorly veiled excitement.

"Likewise, I'll talk to you later Ky. I'm kinda late for third. Not all of us have study hall this period." I teased. She smiled sheepishly and nodded.

"Sorry. I just couldn't wait. I could probably get Andi to—_Ms Wyler_ to write a note so that it's not counted against you. It was official drama business that kept you after all." She gave a determined nod and smiled.

"That would be great." I smiled appreciatively as she led the way. I almost forgot that the woman would be teaching one of my classes today. I followed her down the other end of the hall, passing my third period class and turned down another hall to the drama room that Ms. Wyler would be in. I wondered briefly if she would say no. But Kyla looked so sure of her ability to make the older woman concede that I didn't protest and went with it. Kyla quietly opened the door, noticing that the students were hunched over their desks and working intently on their current assignment, while only a few heads looked away from their work to see who had walked in. I pretended not to notice and kept my eyes trained on the oblivious woman at the front of the room. I hated the attention but it seemed like Kyla thrived on it. Her smile firmly in place as she sauntered confidently to the large gleaming mahogany desk that was set against the far right corner of the classroom. Kyla stopped in front of said desk and bent over slightly. Did I forget to mention that she was wearing a rather short skirt? Kyla bent over even more towards the still unaware woman and whispered something I couldn't make out. The woman jumped a little and looked up. Hazel eyes widened when she realized how close the younger woman was and leaned back slightly. Her eyes appeared unfocused for a moment as she gawked at something on Kyla's shirt. Kyla only shifted more of her weight on her arms and bit the corner of her bottom lip.

What the fuck? No one else paid any attention and either chose to ignore Kyla and I's presence or was oblivious that we had walked in only minutes prior thanks to their head phones being shoved so far down their ear canals. Thank you baby jeezus for clueless teenagers and their technology.

I look again at the – intimate? –scene playing before me. A million and one questions burning in my brain. I shifted awkwardly which Ms Wyler seemed to notice and blinked a little. She shook her head and stared at Kyla with a more sober expression. They spoke softly until Ms Wyler nodded her head and pulled a pink slip of paper out of a desk drawer and scrawled on it before handing it to Kyla. The smaller brunette said something and smirked when Ms Wyler's breathing pattern changed somewhat. I watched as Kyla stood and thanked Ms Wyler for her help before grabbing my arm and pulled (dragged) me out of the class, my mouth gaping. I turned my head to glance at Ms Wyler one last time but instead found my eyes landing on chocolate brown. Ashley's smirk sent my heart into a frenzy. Her gaze flickered to Kyla briefly before shaking her head, auburn curls swinging to and fro. God she's so—

Before I could finish that thought, a _surprisingly strong_ tug sent me flying out of the doorway, letting it close heavily behind me.

* * *

**Alrighty. So not epic drama but at least its something right? This chapter had ended up longer than I had originally planned but there was no way I was going to try and squoosh it down to 3,000 something words and call it a day. So I hope this makes up for that sad 900 word chap. So review! Tell meh what you think and I'll get back to ya with chapter 9. Till next time! XD**


	9. People Are Strange

**Okay I'll be honest. I'm not too sure about this chapter. I've been suffering from a case of writers block and I kinda mangled this one out so I could update. I'm hoping that I should get back into the swing of things soon so bear with me. The next chapter should be up in maybe a week or so. Promise this time. X3**

**I'm planning on doing a little editing here soon so be advised. Probably in the next few weeks.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SoN. It belongs to Tom Lynch and The-N. [Insert clever quip here]**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Ow ow ow! Okay easy with the yanking. I can't replace an arm you know." I shrug out of her grip and rub my now sore arm. Kyla lets go of my possibly dislocated limb and stands there with an amused look on her face.

"I didn't even yank you that hard." She says and she smirks as I inspect my arm. She calls me whiny but I ignore her.

"Does my shoulder look dislocated to you?" I ask her in all seriousness as I show her with my arm bent at an angle. She shakes her head and says no.

Well I beg to differ.

She laughs at me and I pout.

"So your class is this way right?" She asks, pointing down the hallway. I look back at the door we just came from and turn back to Kyla who is already making her way down the hallway. I frown and scratch my head in an obvious sign of my utter confusion. I'm still not totally certain of what just happened back there and it's beginning to throw me off. I mean, it couldn't have looked like Kyla was flirting with Ms Wyler. I'm sure lots of girls wear short skirts, talks extra softly and seductively and adjusts and pushes up their bra in front of their female teachers…

I sigh.

Like I wasn't already befuddled today. I raised an eyebrow at the small brunette and tilted my head to the side as I tried to wrap my sputtering brain around what I just mind spirals unevenly as I try to piece together what I just saw and what I was currently feeling after my parting glance (deep penetrating gaze) from Ashley. Damn her eyes. I shook my head. I needed to focus on one thing at a time. Getting sidetracked would just ruin me for the rest of the day.

First things first.

I jogged to catch up with Kyla and tugged a little on her arm. "Whoa there pussy cat, what the hell was that back there?" I asked, jutting my thumb over my shoulder. I tried to make my tone sound playful and chirpy when all I wanted to do was grill her till she confessed everything she knew! Hey I never said I was rational...or sane for that matter.

Kyla stopped her stride and turned back around to me. Though she tried to suppress it, I still caught the satisfied smirk on her lips and when she saw me giving her a questioning look she tried in vain to keep it to herself by mashing her lips together.

She paused then said, "What was what?" She asked innocently. Oh no. Don't even try pulling the innocent act Miss Tease.

I gave her my patented 'Carlin "Don't pull that bullshit with me!" look' and I saw her smile slowly slip from her face. Her hands began to fidget with one another. She glanced anxiously to the classroom behind me.

Oh holy balls of fluffy stuff, I had her!

I was in the middle of giving myself a mental pat on the back until an evil mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. My eyebrow twitched at her misplaced expression and I mentally backpedaled. The corner of her lips curled devilishly and that well known term 'Devilish Davies' was no longer lost on me.

Okay so maybe I don't have her…

"I wouldn't be so sure of yourself about what you _think_you saw, Spencer." she starts slowly as she drags her fingers along the wall and slowly saunters her way over to me. I visibly swallow.

"Uh-huh. And why's that?" I hear myself ask. Why did I sound timid?

"Because I'm not too sure _I_saw something just now." she gives me a look as if adding 'if you know what I mean'. Which irks me. Because I don't know what she means, at all.

Damn innuendos.

"Look. I have no idea what you're getting at." I tell her honestly.

She gives me a look like are you serious?

She stares at me for a moment before shakings her head. "Ya know what? Forget it. I'll just watch it all happen from the sidelines."

...?

"Okay now what are you talking about?" I say exasperated.

She shakes her head. "Don't worry about it. I've done my part anyways."

I frown. "Still not making sense over here."

She smiles. "Good. It'll keep you on your toes."

I stare at her. "Has anyone ever told you that you are a strange human being?"

"Not in so many words but otherwise, yes." She chuckles.

I frown.

Today is strange.

Cryptic Kyla finally lead me to my next class and handed the pink paper that Ms. Wyler wrote for me. I thanked her for the note and she told me that it was absolutely no trouble at all.

I bet it wasn't.

_Oh hush Spencer. Don't be mean!_

I'm not. I'm being serious. It was clearly an excuse to talk to Ms. Wyler.

_You don't know that for sure though. So stop dropping to conclusions._

I'm not _concluding_. I'm assessing and I've assessed that Kyla doesn't mind a little assessing of Ms. Wyler's assets. Oh gosh I'm a horrible person. A horrible judgy person. Ugh. I think I need a nap.

I rest my cheek in the palm of my hand, my elbow on the table, and sigh softly. Chemistry is by far my second least favorite class of all time. Soooo boring. Now cooking I can handle. Give me a bowl and a stick of butter and you'll soon have yourself a masterpiece. Give me a beaker and smelly green fluid and you'll lose your eyebrows.

Just ask Madison…heh heh.

And I get that cooking is basically chemistry with a whisk and a wooden spoon, but for the life of me I can't find this class remotely interesting. Believe me, I've tried. My suffering grade depended on it. That's why however incredibly boring this class may be, Chelsea always found a way to make the whole 45ish minutes bearable. Which is why this class is incredibly boring times two because Chelsea was still absent and Madison had suddenly found the inspiration to throw paper balls at my head. At least I hope it's only paper balls.

Sigh.

Something was seriously up.

Don't ask me what exactly. I just had this nagging little feeling like I was being left out of the loop of something very important. I don't like being confused about things. Then again, I don't know most people who do. Though lately, I've been donning a question mark above my head and it all started yesterday when I had first heard about the play. Someone wasn't telling me what was really going on and I had a firm suspicion that those people were avoiding me. I narrowed my eyes at Chelsea's empty seat that was next to mine and I scowled at its loneliness. Call me paranoid or whatever but I just can't ignore the fact that something strange was going on. I just didn't know what that something was.

Sigh.

Xander and Chelsea's absence had me on edge and now my imagination was scaring me. I tried to focus on my work, distract myself from the chilling feeling that continued to creep up my spine, but it remained stubborn at the back of my mind.

I told myself to shrug it off and stop acting like a clingy sea monkey but it was hard going through the day without either of my friends by my side. I know, pathetic, but from my very first day at King High it's always been the three of us. Walking each other to class, eating lunch together (Xander thinking he's a ninja and trying to sneak a grab at my food when he thought I wasn't looking – it never worked but I let him do it anyway) and just being there for each other no matter what.

I sighed. I'm being ridiculous.

I just felt out of place by myself and didn't like feeling like I needed them to get through the day. I didn't like looking over my shoulder to check that they were right behind me only to find no one there. It. Was. _Pathetic_. But it didn't stop me from doing it.

It's like my dad always says. A rigid routine aged a person faster than they realized. I think he could have been onto something.

I imputed another formula and moved onto the next problem. I was just about to put in my answer when something hit the back of my head again and I dropped my pencil in the process. I turned my head and saw Madison grinning smugly. I clenched my teeth and leaned down to pick up my pencil. Another ball hit the side of my face. I turned around in my seat and held my pencil tightly, lest I drop it again. Another ball. I hunched over my paper more. Another and another. I soon began to wonder if she had an endless supply or would she hopefully run out soon. I prayed for the latter.

However, ignoring her may have been the mature and right thing to do and all that blah blah stuff but it was neither the safest or smartest thing to do. Not in King High anyway. Queen Bitch didn't like being ignored. Especially by me. In fact she made my days hell _because_ I ignored her. I had the lady balls, as Xander would put it. And if I did give her the time of day she would usually think it a victory and smile in satisfaction. Damn her and her smugness.

I shrugged off the thought of Madison and finished the rest of my work and was done five minutes before the bell was set to ring. I quietly packed my bag and waited patiently for my chance to flee, I mean walk out.

When the bell finally rang I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder before shuffling out of the classroom with the rest of my peers.

I had almost made it to my locker when I heard it: "DYKE! HEY DYYYYKE!" was roared throw the hallways.

I froze and immediately my back teeth ground together.

I hated that word. It sounded like a slap to the face. To me it was the verbal equivalent.

"Hey dyke…I'm talking to you."

_Don't turn around. Don't turn around. Don't turn around._

…I slowly turned around.

_Damn it!_

"What?" I asked, my voice came out stronger than I felt. I willed my features to stay stoic.

"I just realized that I haven't tried to ruin your day yet." Madison grinned evilly and her clones snickered behind her.

"Oh believe me, just the sight of you makes me almost deathly ill. I think that qualifies as a job well done in my book." I throw at her effectively. I was quick witted in situations like this. It was my only saving grace.

Madison gave me an odd look before she glared hatefully.

I planted my feet and watched her carefully, not fazed at all.

"Where's your band of losers at? Did they finally get tired of being surrounded by such a disgusting minority?"

"Wow. I'm almost proud of that last one. I didn't know you knew what minority even meant. Good job."

"Fuck you!"

"Uh no thanks. Unlike you, I can say no." Her eyes became hard and her face turned red and I knew I had her.

It was at this point in our little game when I knew I was winning. By the look on her face she did to. She never could last for very long though and I usually won our verbal arguments, however, I avoided them like the plague because when Madison lost anything, bad things tended to happen.

"You little puta!" She began to advance on me until a large body ran in between us.

"Sooo what I miss? Am I too late for the bitch fight?" a voice said.

"Get out of my way stupido. This is between Ohio bitch Barbie and me." She snarled. I raised an eyebrow.

"Scratch what I said before. That last one was gold." I wink at her and make an A okay sign. She huffs and the person in front of me laughs loudly.

Xander.

"Okay you've had your jollies, now scram J Lo." He fans them away with his hands and I wince at the J Lo comment. Even I knew never to call her that.

"What did you just call me?" She asked harshly.

Xander's previous confidence faltered a bit once he saw the murderous look in her eyes.

For whatever reason Madison is a little sensitive about this current topic. Don't ask me why. I just chalk it up to another part of her crazy.

I poked him in the back to get his attention. He looked over his shoulder at me.

"What in the name of all that is holy are you doing?" I hissed.

"What does it look like? I'm rescuing you."

"That's _not_ what it looks like." I said, giving him a pointed look.

"Okay, so I'm still working out the kinks of the whole stealthy operation mumbo jumbo. I still helped." Xander replied weakly.

"You call that help?" I snapped, wrinkling my brow, gesturing to Madison and her flaring nostrils.

"Hey be nice. I just saved your life just now missy. A little appreciation is in order, possibly some groveling for wounding my masculine feelings."

"Groveling?" I gaped in disbelief. He had to be joking. _He_ left _me_.

_**RIIIINNNGGG!**_

Saved by the bell.

I heard her huff and craned my neck around Xander and waggled my fingers at her and prayed that she would leave quickly. I cannot be late again.

Madison glared at us before flipping her hair over her shoulder and turning on her heel.

Oh thank God. That was almost painless.

I take a breath and narrow my eyes at Xander. I grab his arm and turn him around.

"Where have you been?" I asked, getting straight to business.

"Uh…peeing?"

"Bullshit." I spat. I sniffed the air. He smelled like paint for some reason.

"Um…"

I crossed my arms. "So where were you?" I held his gaze and I could tell he was on the edge of caving. I raised an eyebrow expectantly and pursed my lips.

"Well?" I prodded.

He shuffled nervously from one foot to the other.

He looked at me for a second then his eyes widened.

"Oh wow is that Ashley?" He pointed behind me and I spun around excitedly.

"Where?"

I don't see…hey wait a minute!

I turn around again and groan in misery when I find that he's gone.

Oh poop.


	10. The First Sign of Insanity is

**_Hey folks. So I had a pretty successful day yesterday and got this up quickly. Course I couldn't have done it without my special muse momo0424._**

**_Thank you so much for your encouraging words and making me laugh._**

**__****Disclaimer: I do not own SoN. It belongs to Tom Lynch and The-N. [Insert clever quip here]**

**__****Enjoy everyone!**

* * *

"Ooooh he is in so much trouble when I find him." I grumbled to myself. I was beyond pissed. Due to Xander's Houdini act, I had forgotten that I only had a few minutes left to be able to make it to class on time but I began searching for him instead.

I turned up with _nothing_. Not even a wisp of shaggy hair. So by that point I was super late, probably super scolded once I got home and add all that up with the ho showdown with Madison, and Chelsea and Xander being nowhere near the lost and found bin near the front office, and I was _super_ pissed.

"Just call me Super-freakin'-Spencer why don't ya?" I mumbled lamely. I'd stomp my foot childishly if I wasn't still moving them. I nearly fall on my face when I hear a raspy chuckle echo through the empty small corridor I was in.

"Ya know, they say talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity." Ashley pushes off the wall she was leaning on and makes her way over to me.

I clutch my hand to my chest and breathe deep and slow to calm my racing heart. I hate when she does that.

"Do you just have a default setting that says 'Ninja'? God! Freaking ah!" My heart seemed to be calming down now. "Haven't you heard what they say about jumpy blondes with loaded fountain pens? Apparently, they get stab happy." I grab the pen I had tucked behind my ear and make a motion of stabbing someone with it. What? It could happen.

Ashley smiles amused. "Do they now?"

I slump my shoulders and frown. "No. But they do get really _really_ scared. Dare I say, squealing could be involved." I warn her.

Ashley smirks.

"I'll take my chances."

I shrug and grin. "Its your funeral, lady."

She grins almost seductively and husks, "I like living dangerously." I swear she's getting closer, either that or my evil mind is playing tricks on me.

Jerk.

"A real dare devil, huh?"

"Oh yeah." She smirk seems sharper; more meaningful. I gulp.

I smile nervously.

"Cool." I say lamely.

Cool? That's it. That's all you got? …Ugh!

Ashley smiles softly at my demeanor and takes a step back. I frown at this but say nothing.

"Listen I was wondering-"

Chelsea and Xander turned the corner just then, walking closely next to each other and talking in hushed voices. They hadn't noticed me yet.

I regretfully interrupt her and she blinks, "Um Ashley, I'm _so _sorry but I gotta run." I rushed out.

Ashley nodded, biting her lip. "O-okay. Sure. I guess…I'll catch you later then?"

I smiled at her, because I couldn't not when she was looking so hopeful for that time to come like I was.

"Definitely."

She grinned and turned away. I willed myself not to look back at her and turned in the direction of my oncoming friends, who still hadn't noticed me yet.

Good. It'll be like a blitzkrieg.

When they got closer, Xander picked up his head and looked up at me, his eyes bulged comically and I smirked.

They were so busted.

Chelsea looked at him and followed his line of sight. Her eyes widened when she saw me.

They slowly walked towards me, Xander suddenly turned to walk the opposite way but Chelsea grabbed his arm and turned him back around. Chelsea whispers in his ear and his shoulders slump, he nods.

They stopped in front of me.

Xander looked fidgety. Chelsea looked, well, composed.

"Hi. Long time no see." I say sweetly with my hands clasped behind my back. The perfect picture of innocence and charm.

Xander stuck his finger in the air. "Actually, you saw me earlier today-"

"I'll get to you." I snap harshly, getting out of character.

"Okaaay." Xander puts up his hands in surrender and backs up a little.

"So how ya been, Chelsea?" I ask casually.

Chelsea looks unfazed. "Fine. You?"

"Oh just dandy." I say.

"Awesome." She replies.

My eye twitches at her nonchalance.

Ahhh! I can't take it anymore

I narrowed my eyes accusingly at my friend, crossing my arms over my chest.

I get down to business. "Okay, he's been peeing." I jut my thumb in Xander's direction and he frowns. "Where the hell have you been?"

Chelsea looks away from me and at Xander, giving him an incredulous look.

'Peeing?' she mouthed. Xander shrugged. My fingers began drumming on my bicep as I pursed my lips into a tight line.

Xander flicks his eyes uneasily between the both of us.

I tapped my foot impatiently.

"Waiting." I sing-songed.

She snaps her eyes to me and nods.

"Family emergency." she says smoothly.

"Ah-ha! Likely story and you- wait what?"

"I had a family emergency." She said slowly like I was five.

Xander's face goes blank for a few moments, until his right eye begins to twitch ever so subtly and finally confusion sets in, he looks ready to say something and opened his mouth. Chelsea shot him a look and he shut it with a click.

My eyes widened. "W-w-wait what family emergency? What happened?" My face twisted in horror. "Oh no. Oh my God who died?" I immediately went into dramatics.

Chelsea pursed her lips around a smile and shook her head. "Nobody died."

"Then what happened?" I pleaded. I was instantly thinking the worst. Chelsea looked to Xander and gave him a somewhat pleading look. Xander raised his hands and backed away slowly with a shake of his head.

I looked at Xander confused. He looked at me and said, "I'm not getting involved."

I furrowed my brow and looked at Chelsea for a better answer.

_What the frilly heck was going on?_

"Anyone else like to tell me what the heck is going on?" I gave each of them a look and they both shook their heads like scolded children.

"It was...it was a _family _emergency. So don't worry yourself over it. Nobody's dead. Nobody's gonna die. Everyone is very much alive." she assured me. That placated me for the moment...until I heard Xander let out a sigh of relief. I shot my head around and glared suspiciously in his direction.

"Well that answers that question."

Chelsea smiled, pleased.

"But that still doesn't answer how you could have been 'peeing'," Yes, I used air quotes. "for _three _hours."

Xander paled.

"Uh...bladder infection?"

I scrunched my face up, disgusted.

"Ew."

"What? It happens to the best of us, aight?" Xander defended.

Chelsea covered a chuckle with her hand.

"Still gross."

"You interrogated." he said matter of factly.

"That I did. Why must I ask the gross questions?" I pleaded to the Gods for an answer.

Xander waved his finger around. "What you should be asking is why do your questions lead to gross answers?"

I sputtered, failing to come up with a witty retort fast enough and shot my mouth off with the first thing that popped in my head, "Shut your bladder infection before I shut it for you!" I threatened weakly. Oh wow, really? Shut your bladder infection? That's the best you got Spaz?

Now it was Xander's turn to be grossed out, and rightfully so. "That was way worse than what I said." it so was.

I groaned. "I know. Just be quiet."

Chelsea giggled behind her hand and patted me on the back.

"There there, little one." she said with a snort.

I flushed in embarrassment and tried to laugh it off.

We all look at each other with pursed smiles, our lips straining around laughter. My icy exterior melts quickly as we all find ourselves laughing hysterically in the parking lot. I calm down a little, only laughing every now and then. I loop my arm around Chelsea's waist and she pulls me snuggly into her side, dangling her cocoa colored hand over my sun kissed deltoid muscle. Yes that is what it's called.

I wipe an escaping tear from my cheek and rub my now sore ab muscles with my free hand.

"God, I needed that." it was well over due. I nod in agreement with myself. We all endure the after laughter for a moment more and smile at each other.

I shake my head. I can't stay mad at these guys. I'm probably blowing this all out of proportion. I'm becoming paranoid and it's just stressing me out more than I already am. Gosh, auditions aren't even over and I'm already high strung and lashing out unfairly. Lousy friend I am.

Oh god I'm becoming my mother!

I sigh and look at my friends regretfully. This was my best 'I'm sorry face'. They both glance at each other with a look that almost seems guilty. That can't be right. "Hey guys, I just want to say how sorry I -_Bzzzzzzz_" I pause, feeling the signaling vibrations that I received a text message.

I check my phone and pull it out of my pocket, lest the vibrations put me in another giggling fit. The screen flashes 'Future Wife' and I find my lips curling in a smile before I can mash them together. I smile goofily as I unlock my phone to read the message. I pull up my inbox and –_cough_—

I snap my head up and blush as I see Xander now standing to the right of me, his head lent down slightly to see my phone.

Xander furrowed his dark brows and opened his mouth to say something when my phone buzzed in my hand, signaling another message from Ashley.

_'Future Wife - 2 Unread Messages'_, flashes on screen and I feel my ears burn at the instant curiosity I see on both my friends' faces.

Xander's the first to voice their burning questions, "Who's your future wife, Spence?" he waggles his eye brows suggestively and smirks.

Like he needed to ask.

Asswipe.

I was about to tell him just that and a few other perfectly chosen super mean words when, "Hey Spencer?" was shouted. I look up and see a beautiful brunette crossing the parking lot and heading in our direction.

Speak of the sexy devil.

I blush at my thoughts and nearly drop my phone when Xander chose this moment to reach for it to try and read the message. I slap his hand away like a sissy because I didn't want to start a scene in front of Ashley.

He snatches it out of my hands and I flail uselessly to retrieve it. He holds it up high. Damn him!

Ashley looks a mixture of confused and amused as she gets closer. I hiss at him, demanding that he give it back to me right this instant but to no avail. He dangles it above my head mockingly and makes kissy faces at me. As I reach my arms up to grab for it.

Ugh! Jerk.

By now Ashley's in hearing distance and I know nothing good can come from Xander's wicked smile. He lifts the phone above his own head and fiddles with it in the air. I panic and jump for it again but Xander juts his butt out so I have to reach even further to reach it.

He chuckles at my antics, "So Spence..." he starts.

Oh no.

He looks over at me and then smirks at the phone. "Who is your future wife, _really_?"

I paled.

"Because it looks to me like-oomph!" I elbow him sharply in the stomach causing him to bend over and clutch my phone to his stomach. I stomp on his toes for good measure and he drops my phone in favor of grabbing his injured foot and jumping up and down. I catch it nonchalantly and face Ashley with smiles all around.

She looks amused, surprisingly...yay! That's a good thing. I thought she would have watched, paused and immediately changed directions far far away from me so yay!

Adrenaline. Hee.

I should kick box. I haven't had that much fun since I beat Glen's ass at basketball last week. Bitch had nothing on me...pant pant...I need a nap.

"Hey Ashley." I greet smoothly, while completely ignoring the pained wailing from the large man-child next to me.

"Um hi" she waves. "So were you able," she looks at Xander with a smile, "to get my texts?"

I look at my phone, unlock it, and check my inbox.  
_  
__Hey Luce. You need a ride home? Let me know. Maybe we could get some ice-cream or something else drenched in chocolate. ;)_

I giggle and Ashley smiles, softly.

Ooh she used a winky face. I heard those were dangerous if used improperly. Like a toaster in a bath tub bad. Hmm.

She sees me about to pull up the next one and wrings her fingers tightly.

I read the next message.

_hey me again. About the whole ice cream thing...that's like only if you want to. No pressure. Just because we're both each other's love interests doesn't mean we have to spend every waking moment together or whatever. So um yeah. Only if you want to. Hang with me that is. Just for today if you want. Or others. Um so yeah let me know._

I read the next one and Ashley bites her lip.

_Um when I said love interests, I meant the play of course. Um yeah...okay I'm just gonna go find you before I make an even bigger ass out of myself._

I read her last two messages twice before I closed my phone and put it in my pants pocket. I schooled my features and looked at her, while inside I was gushing adoringly at Ashley's cuteness.

_Daaawwww!__  
_  
See.

The only thing that made me curious was why she sounded so nervous. I can't deny that it felt like butterflies practically bred with each other and started a rebellious colony in my tummy when she mentioned me being her love interest.

I smile and nod. "So yes I was able to get your texts."

She laughs softly and coughs in her hand.

Wow. I wonder what's up with her.

"So what'dya say? Need a lift?"

Xander steps forward looking in awe. "In your beautiful piece of machinery that was practically crafted by the Gods themselves, absolutely."

Chelsea and I reach out and pulled hard on the back of Xander's shirt, yanking him off his feet, Chelsea probably pulled harder than what was necessary but still a job well done.

"I'd love a ride but I promised my friends that I'd have a movie night with them." I tell her, disappointed.

"A _Kung-Fu _movie night." Xander corrected. Chelsea swatted his chest hard and gave a look.

Ashley smiles sadly and nods. "Oh no big. Maybe another time?"

I smiled from ear to ear at the idea of still being able to spend time with her. "Definitely."

She seems to perk up at this and smiles widely. "Wonderful. I guess I'll see ya around."

I nod. "Definitely." I repeat.

Ashley smiled an adorable nose crinkling smile and waved her goodbyes. We all waved and I turned around to face my friends. Chelsea stopped waving, dropping her warm smile and slapped my chest with the back of her hand.

I paused, shocked.

"Ow!" I gazed at her in disbelief.

She just boob slapped me.

"You just boob slapped me." I pointed at her, not really believing it.

She nods. "That I did."

"_Ow_!"

"Well's your own damn fault. Why the heck did you tell her we had a movie night?"

"Because we did!" I flailed.

"So! Spencer, the girl you've been going gaga over for the past year asks you to hang out and you trade that for foreign martial arts that will be heavily subtitled and Xander playing in the cheese dip again."

He has a problem.

"and all I wanna know is..." she shakes her head, looking absolutely dumbfounded, "Why?"

"What was I supposed to say? Sup bitches. I'm gonna, like totally ditch you losers to hang out with the girl of my dreams. Oh but don't cry for me Argentina, I'll come back with the details. Oh and easy on the dip, dude."

Chelsea looked at me like I was a moron. "Yes!"

"Oh."

Xander groans. "Hey! But I thought we were watching-oomph!" That was Chelsea, I swear.

"Call her Spencer." Chelsea instructed.

Don't need to tell me twice!

I scroll through my contacts and find hers and hit 'Call'.

Hope she doesn't mind cashing that rain check early.

"We still get to watch kung-fu movies right?" Xander asked Chelsea hopefully.

I rolled my eyes and Chelsea nodded with a roll of hers as well.

"Yes we can still watch it."

Xander claps excitedly.

Chelsea and I look at him oddly.

He coughs and runs his fingers through his hair.

Weirdo.

I shake my head at my friend and put the phone up to my ear.

Its still ringing.

I hope she picks up.

"Please pick up. Please pick up. Please pick-"

"Hello?"

* * *

**_That's all folks. Well for now. Thank you to all that story alerted, favorited, reviewed, author alerted and for reading and just liking what you saw. It all means the world to hear what you think so by all means, REVIEW! Like now. Yes, nowish would be good. ;)_**


	11. Your Hand In Mine

**Hey guys. Thanks so much for the reviews last chapter. I'm so glad that people are enjoying this story.**

**Oodles and oodles of Spashley this chapter so you can squeal till you little heart's content. XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SoN. It belongs to Tom Lynch and The-N. [Insert clever quip here]**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"I'm surprised you called. What happened to the movie night?" Ashley asked, taking her eyes off the road momentarily to look curiously in my direction. I fumbled for words. Why didn't I think of a story beforehand?

"Oh um quick change of plans. Turns out the movie night wasn't for tonight." I replied sheepishly. "And I kinda just jumped at the chance to hang out with you," I whispered louder than I meant to. Ashley's eyes widened. Oh my goodness, you _jumped_? Try not to sound too desperate, Spencer. " I-I mean, kung-fu isn't really the most appealing um...it just worked out that way." I finally settle with lamely.

Ugh! Can I be anymore lame?

...don 't answer that.

"Well..." Ashley smiled softly and looked at me. "I'm glad you jumped."

I blushed and Ashley winked at me which made my tomato face worse.

"So how was your day today? Kyla said she spoke to you during her study hour."

"Yeah," I nodded. "She kinda pulled a Rachel Berry on me." I smiled softly.

Ashley laughs. "She is definitely a Rachel Berry."

"For sure."

"Were you scared? I wouldn't blame you if you were."

I laughed into my fist.

"My knees shook a little but I endured despite."

"Good girl." She chuckles.

I smiled. I loved that sound.

"So how was your day?" I asked her.

"Ugh boring. It was much better this morning." she looks over at me and smiles.

"Is that so?" I ask playfully.

She nods. "Tis true."

I blushed and looked away from her when I got a text message. I fumbled for my phone for a moment until I realized I was sitting on it and lifted my butt. Ashley stopped looking at the road to see what I was doing and made a little noise in her throat when I started bucking my hips imprecisely to retrieve my phone. I wasn't really paying attention to how this may look and flopped back in the seat when my phone was in my hand. Sneaky thing.

**Mommy Dearest: Are You Almost Home?**

My mother irked me with her text speak. For some reason she had to capitalize every word in a sentence whenever she texted and it annoyed me. I don't know why. It just did. But I can't really fault her. It must be weird being bombarded by the future when all you know how to do is basically turn on a light switch. My mother was technologically challenged. Extremely so.

**Me: Why?**

A few minutes later…

**Mommy Dearest: What Else Could You Possibly Be Doing? Get. Home. Now.**

I wonder if she nearly blew a blood vessel when her finger was twitching over the exclamation point. Because that seriously sounded like an order.

I sighed and shut my phone.

"Something wrong?" Ashley looks over at me.

"I don't know honestly. Would it be horrible of me to ask if you could swing by my house? It will only be a minute." I was planning on asking her that any way. These damn textbooks are killing me. Might as well chuck them in my room so I won't have to worry about them. Am I a horrible daughter if I said that my mother was an afterthought at this point?

"Sure no problem."

When she pulls into my driveway I look at her and say, "I'll only be a minute. " She nods her head and motions for me to go.

I walk through the door and holler to the house that I'm home.

"In here Spencer!" My mother shouts back.

"Thanks for the cookies Mrs. Carlin." A random male voice says.

"Oh you're perfectly welcome honey." Ew. She sounds all warm and…nice. Is that really my mother?

"These are really delicious cookies Mrs. Carlin. Did you make them from scratch?"

"Oh thank you honey and yes I did. They're my special recipe." Probably _my_ recipe. Mom can't bake for beans. She always used to burn the cookies for Santa so Dad was always the one to bake during the holidays.

…Wait. He said cookies. Oh my flippin' God where? !

I walk into the living room where my mother was sitting primly on the couch with a young man about my age with dark hair.

I watched them confusedly as my mother laughed again at something the boy said.

"Um what's going on here?" I asked curiously. My mother looked at me smiling and immediately my walls were up. What was she so happy about?

She stands and the boy stands with her.

"Spencer, this is Patrick," Mom says, grinning, "say hi."

I smile half-heartedly in greeting, "hi."

He smiles greasily at me, his brown eyes not so subtly checking me out as they zeroed in on my chest like a homing device.

"Patrick here is Edna's son. You remember her right?" She asks giving me a meaningful look behind Patrick.

Oh you mean the chick that always looks like she smelled something really bad whenever we walked by her or even entered a room?

You mean that Edna?

I raise an eyebrow at my mother and she gives a nod like 'yes that woman that you're thinking unpleasant and rude things about'.

I shrug_._She smells like funky cheese so how could I forget. I wonder if she's ever smelled herself and that's why she always looks like I just belched a hello to her. "They go to our church." My mother added.

And I care because…

"Yeah sure." I mumbled.

"You're definitely hard to forget." He winks.

Gag.

"Pretty like a picture and sweeter than candy." I lift an eyebrow. Gross. I'm sure you say that to all the girls you think are easy, ass wipe.

"Oh how sweet," My mother gushes. Wretch. "Did you hear that Spencer? We have a poet in our midst." Her eyes sparkle as she gestures to him. Mine roll.

Yawn.

_' Not every picture is pretty_

_and not every candy is sweet._

_Though wine hangs smoothly in her ruby hair_

_and death swings harshly in your seat._

_I can write you a pretty song deary,_

_but I won't call it a melody._

_You're eyes are full of fluff_

_and you're words drip with slime_

_but I know better_

_than to fall for your filthy grime.'_

…

Take. That. Biaaatch.

"Whats going on Paula? Ooh company." My dad walks into the living room and sets his brief case down. This whole schedule change thing really has me messed up. Usually he's home around this time so it's usually just us but now that mom was here it felt a little stifling. I watched as Dad approached Patrick and shook his hand. The boy's face tensed as Dad held his hand so tightly that it turned white and twisted a little in his grasp. Hee. Thank you Daddy!

Dad releases his death grip and walks over to me, slinging his arm around my shoulders. Mom watches the whole scene with unease. "So Patrick, how are your classes this year?" Mom asks. Patrick shakes his sudden fear off for the moment and launches into an excited discussion of the classes he was taking and bragging about the supposed scholarships he got.

Dad leans into me.

"You were reciting poetry in your head when he said that to you right?"

I nod. "Yup."

"Good girl." He smiled proudly and squeezed my shoulder.

I smiled up at him.

He knew me too well.

"I have to do some paperwork. Will you be okay down here with the boy?" He asks me. I grimace and he chuckles.

"I'm not staying. I'm going to go hang out with a friend. I just came home to drop my stuff off but mom forced me to make nice. Can I go?" I asked with puppy dog eyes.

He thinks it over for a second. "Anyone I know?"

I shake my head. "Nope."

"Anyone I need to worry about?"

I shake my head. "Nope."

He shrugs and smiles. "Then have fun. Just not _too_ much fun." He kisses my forehead and I bounce happily and hug his side.

"Thank you Daddy." I kiss him happily on the cheek, smiling widely as I pull away.

He grins. "Of course my dove. Call if anything comes up okay?"

"Okay." He drops his arm from my shoulder and gives a single meaningful nod to Patrick, who gulps audibly, and leaves the room.

Hee. That was my Dad. He's awesome.

"Spencer did you hear that? Patrick's president of the student council. Isn't that impressive?" My mother gushes looking at me expectantly hoping I would emote the same way she was. Not even a twitch from me. If anyone's wondering why I look bored it's because I am.

I sigh noisily and give a lazy thumbs up. "Yeah that's great. Can I speak to you in the kitchen? Privately." I glance at my mother carefully and she tenses her jaw and looks at me hard like only my mother can. Ah. There's my mother.

She politely excuses herself and walks ahead of me in the kitchen. I ignore Patrick's leering looks and follow her. Shiver.

"Okay what's really going on?" I ask, crossing my arms.

My mother doesn't look at me. "I don't know what you're talking about." She's stalling.

She shakes her head and busies herself with wiping down the already spotless countertop. I narrow my eyes.

"What exactly are you expecting to come from this?"

She shrugs her shoulders and looks innocently at the rag. "Nothing. Just thought it would be nice to invite him over?"

I nod. "Uh-huh. Right around the time that I would be due home from school? For what exactly? Tea and cookies and idle chit chat?"

"Precisely." A smile snaps on quickly to her face. I eye her. I'm not buying it. Any of it.

I feign excitement. "Oh well then you wouldn't mind me running upstairs and ignoring him for the rest of the evening."

"No!" She grabs my shoulders as I turn to leave the kitchen.

Gotcha! I pointed a finger accusingly.

"I knew it! You're scheming. I thought we were done with all this nonsense."

"No. You were done. You need a nice man in your life, Spencer." She practically whined.

"No I don't. I need you to leave me alone and let me figure everything out on my own. Why won't you understand that?"

She shakes my shoulders a little, my head bobbing wildly. "I won't. Its not right Spencer. You need a man." Wow. Okay she has seriously lost it.

I shrug out of her tight grip. "You need to stop."

She sighs. I look at the full plate of delicious cookies. My stomach growled anxiously, _feed me dammit!_

Alright calm down. Yeesh!

And why does Puketrick get cookies and I get squat? Its so not fair!

"You never make me cookies." I grumble as I look at her, an obvious moody frown on my face. What makes him so special?

She raises an eyebrow and straightens up. "You never bring any friends over"

I raise both eyebrows in disbelief. "Uh yeah I do. Xander and Chelsea are my friends." I remind her.

"I mean friends that are charming and don't raid the cheese drawer in my fridge." That's Paula code for '_Friends that I like_.'

Scoffing and looking away, I mutter, "Chelsea's charming…in her own way."

She shakes her head, looking annoyed. "I'm not having this argument right now. We have company over. Now why don't you go over there and say hi."

I folded my arms and glare at her, my lips tight as I say stiffly, "I already did."

She sighs. "Say it with a little more excitement and a lot less repugnance."

I throw my hands in the air. Next she'll be asking for one of my kidneys. "I can't help it if he's gross mother."

She looks at me hard. "You will today. Now move." She slaps me on the butt and I yip.

Uncalled for!

I glare at her and she gives me another one of those great big fake smiles motioning me to get a move on. I snarled under my breath and walked into the living room. I didn't have time for this shit.

His head lifts up from his phone and he smiles widely. I ignore his oddly excited expression and wave off my paranoia. "Hey. Sorry to be rude but I gotta le-"

He stands from the couch and approaches me. "Spencer it's so good to see you." He says happily like he hadn't just seen me a few minutes ago.

It is?

I look at him skeptically. "It is?"

"Of course it is. I'm always happy to see a pretty girl smile at me." Who would ever smile at you?

"Um okay?"

He chuckles amused at something. "I was talking about you Spencer." Oh…

Wait what? When was I _ever_ smiling at you? And oh my God was he flirting with me?

Uh duh Spence.

"Um thanks?" What was I supposed to do with that information? I didn't want it!

"I meant it. You're really hot." And there goes his eyes. Down to my chest they go. My eyeballs and my self-respect are up _here_, man-child!

I scoff.

Oh yeah mom. A _real_ charmer.

I grimace at the lingering look in his eyes and motion for him to speed this up. "Thanks Patrick." And we're moving on now. Preferably away from this awkward topic. Far away…and get your eyes back up here mister.

He opens his mouth to say something but I smoosh it closed with my fingers to keep him quite.

"Shhhhh. I gotta make a call." I take my phone out of my pocket with my other hand.

"Buffftt…"

"Shhh. What I say?" I wiggle my phone in the air to indicate that I want silence. He looks confused which I don't particularly blame him and nods.

Wonderful.

I remove my fingers, wiping them on my hoodie and open an empty text message.

**Me: Ashley?**

A few seconds later…

******Future Wife: **I'm still here. Are you okay?I love how she asks how I'm doing and not about what's taking so long.

**Me: I'm not sure. I think I may have an aneurism from sheer boredom. O.O**

******Future Wife: **Y r u bored? Did something come up? R u not able to hang out? : (

"We should hang out sometime. Just you and me. Blah blah blah-"

"Yeah yeah whatever." I wave him off, totally ignoring what he may have said. Why is he talking? Does he not understand English? Me no talky to you. Seems very basic to me.

**Me: Just come in. Please. Mom had a guest over and made me say hello. Oh my God. Save me!**

******Future Wife: **Lol. ;) Just give me a minute. I'll b there b4**you know it****my damsel.**

I smiled.

A few minutes later and we were now saying goodbye to Mr. I can't shut up for two seconds. He kept talking about his gym membership and how supposedly ripped he was.

Don't care dude.

All I could think was _finally_! Longest however long minutes of my life.

"Bye honey. Say hello to your mother for me." She waves and then subtly bumps my shoulder.

I look angrily at the ceiling and mutter, "Uh yeah bye."

Patrick turns his head and smirks over his shoulder. Creepy! He reaches for the handle but stops when it swings open and Ashley is standing at the door. Oh crap. Ashley stands there stunned for a moment until she notices that everyone is looking at her curiously and awkwardly shifts on her feet then watches as the grease ball walks back over to me. He takes hold of my hand. "It was a pleasure seeing you again Spencer." He slowly bends down as my eyes widen. Oh please Lord no. This is Ashley's hand. His cracked lips made my skin itch as they scraped uncomfortably across my hand. He raises his head and says, "I couldn't leave without giving you a proper goodbye." I wish you would've. It took everything in me not to grimace. "Thank you for your hospitality Mrs. Carlin."

Suck up.

"Of course dear. You're welcome here anytime." She beams. Don't tell him that! He'll never leave.

"Thank you. I should be going home. I promised my grandmother I'd read to her before the nurse gives her meds." He pauses and adopts an overly pained expression as I raise an eyebrow. "They make her loopy you see." He chokes up a little. My brow goes higher. Okay I get that I'm all new to the whole acting thing but even I know he was faking that. But apparently my mother didn't.

She squeezes his shoulder softly and cups his face. I look at her incredulously. "It's alright sweetie. You don't have to say anything. It's very kind of you to read to your grandmother. I'm sure she appreciates it."

Oh come on! That's complete crap!

He nods and sniffles. "I hope so. I guess I better get going." He points to the door. "Don't want to keep Gran Gran waiting."

My mother waves and I surreptitiously hide both my hands behind my back. I will scrub them with bleach if I have to but hell to the no am I letting that slime pit lock his gross man lips to my flesh ever again.

He waves and walks around Ashley. I ground my teeth when I saw him check out her ass on the way out. Bastard. That was my—well okay no it wasn't but he shouldn't be looking when he just molested my hand not even 5 minutes ago.

Pervy Mcpervington!

Wow did I really just think that?

I'm getting rusty on my one-liners here.

This will not do.

I sprinted upstairs, dumped my shit on my bed, ran back down and gently pushed Ashley out the door. I convinced my mother that I couldn't stay and bolted out of the door with only my wallet, my iPod and my phone. That's really all I needed.

I told Ashley to step on it when she started the ignition. When I say that 'I convinced my mother' what I really mean is that I ran like hell out the door, shutting it lightly while my mother was in the kitchen scrubbing the gleaming dishes furiously.

I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned my head against the comfy headrest, closing my eyes.

"So what's the story with the guy?" Ashley asked. I snap out of my thoughts and look at her.

"Who? Oh Patrick? He's just a guy whose mother irritates me."

She's silent for a moment. "So you and him aren't..."

I look at her...my eyes widen. "Oh no!" God no. "We aren't anything."

She lets out a breath. "Your mom seemed to like him."

"Yeah well my mom has probably the worst taste in people excluding my Dad."

"I see."

"So you don't think he's cute?" I pause. What was she getting at?

_He's _aren't…"He's not really my type."

"Really?" she seems almost intrigued.

"Nope."

"Then what is?"

You.

I cough in my hand and fiddle with my zipper. "I kinda sorta maybe have a thing for brunettes." I mumble.

"Patrick's a brunette." She points out. She has a lilt to her voice that I can't decipher. I look at her with my brows furrowed and then shake my head.

"Brown hair or not, he's still Patrick." I grimace.

"I take it you don't really like him."

"He's a skank." I blurted out.

Ashley laughs.

"Really? That would explain why I thought he was checking me out."

"Yeah I saw that too. Dude was checking out my merchandise not even five minutes before you walked in."

Ashley cocks her head and looks at me with a smirk. "Well it is good merchandise."

I frown on the outside and smile on the inside and fold my arms over my chest. "Still. It makes me feel icky."

She glances at me amused. "Well the gross man is gone now so you don't have to worry."

I pout. "Still gross."

"Aw. You're too cute." She coos.

I blush even more.

"Stop it."

"What? Complimenting you? Never."

I smile.

"Thanks for stopping by my house. Didn't know that there was going to be a soap opera in my living room but the gesture is still appreciated."

"Sorry for walking in on it. You said it was okay so I didn't think much about what could be keeping you."

"Again. _So_ sorry about that."

"Spencer it's fine. It was...interesting to watch." her face screws up into a somewhat sour expression. I look at her confused.

"I guess."

"So where to next?" she suddenly says, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh uh food I guess. I'm kinda hungry."

"Food it is. You're tummy will be well taken care of. I promise"

I smile and then adopt a fake serious expression. "Alright miss. I'm trusting you with this. Don't let me down."

"You're in good hands ma'am." She pats my tummy softly, her fingers lingering there a moment longer than I had expected.

She pulls her hand away and I frown but she doesn't notice.

Sigh.

My heart aches.

A short car ride later and we were pulling up into Sweet Spots' parking lot. I grinned when I finally looked up from scrolling through Ashley's endless iTunes library.

She looks over at me and smiles.

"I thought you'd like this place so I figured why not."

"You figured right. I can already hear the chocolate calling to me."

Ashley giggled and ushered me in, holding the door open for me. I smiled and we found a table in the back with a crescent booth. A pretty blonde girl introduced herself and asked us what we wanted to drink. We gave her our drink orders and she smiled at me and didn't even look at Ashley once she left. I didn't really think too much on it and inspected the menu curiously while Ashley scoffed at something in the distance. Our waitress's name was Dianna. When she came back with both our drinks she waited for a little bit while she took our order, smiling sweetly at me. Ashley for some reason kept glaring at her. Weird. I thought she was pretty nice. She even sat next to me and tried to help me figure out what to order. Talk about customer service. Dianna stood up when I decided what I wanted and penciled it into her notebook and smiled at me and left.

"Finally." Ashley muttered.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Oh nothing." She said sweetly and looked irritatingly at her phone.

I frowned and played with my straw wrapper, wondering if I had done something wrong.

"Is something wrong?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. She seemed on edge all of a sudden.

"No. Of course not. Sorry my mind was somewhere else." I frowned but nodded. "But I'm here now." She assured me. I smiled softly and she grinned back.

"So you never told me how your day was." She started, trying to get a conversation going.

I look at her and smile at her thoughtfulness. "It was fine I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well there was just some weird stuff that happened."

She furrowed her brow. "Weird how?"

"Weird as in abnormal. As in Madison Duarte." my face scrunched up.

She nods slowly. "Ah. Yes. I've heard of that abnormality of which you speak of." She said in a posh British accent.

I giggled into my hand but played along.

"And what are your thoughts on the matter?"

"Pssh. She's a bitch." She says in her normal voice.

My mouth fell open.

My hero.

"Oh wow. That seriously made my day." I chuckled.

She starts to smile. "Why? Because I'm honest?"

I nod along with my words. "Cause you're honest and its kinda true." Its fact.

She grinned. "Its good to be honest. I'd never lie to you." She says sincerely.

I take a sip of my drink and look at her. "Good to know."

"No I'm serious. Ask me anything. I'll bare all." She tilts her head and smirks. "Well except my clothes. Nudity in public is where I draw the line." She sweeps her hand in a hell no fashion.

I laugh. She winks at me and my laughter dies in my throat when she leans into me a little. "That is...unless the situation calls for it."

My brain is racing with images. Dirty, filthy, wonderful images.

"W-what kind of situation?" I stammered as I called upon strength I didn't know I had to not look down at Ashley's glossy lips.

"I think you know Luce."

I gulp and look away from her and reach for my soda. Get it together Carlin!

Before she can add anything Rodney chose this time to pop out of freaking no where and started chatting with Ashley. I don't mind in the least because it gives me time to gather my fleeting brain cells. Little traitors! Come back here!

"Alright I'll be back with your special order when you're ready. It's good seeing you princess. You too, beautiful." Rodney nods at me and I finally pick my head out from the clouds.

"Huh?" I break away from my thoughts and look up at Mr. Blue Hair himself.

"Oh my Lordy you are just too cute." he looks at Ashley. "I like this one."

Ashley smiles at me and winks. "Me too."

I look confusedly between both of them. What just happened?

Rodney leaves and I jut my thumb in his direction with a questioning eyebrow. She shrugs and takes another sip from her soda.

We had only ordered a plate of fries and some mozzarella sticks. I think Dianna thought we were eating a full meal and misunderstood the game plan. Which is fine. She was just being sweet. Ashley didn't look too pleased though when Dianna brought out our order and winked at me. My face flushed and I ducked my head and began nibbling on a fry. I finally picked my head up to get another fry when I noticed the dark look Ashley had on her face.

Talk about scary. I thought my mother's looks were terrifying.

"Hey. Are you sure you're okay?"

Ashley blinks and looks at me. She gives me a forced smile.

"Yeah of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

I watch her carefully and shrug a little.

"I don't know. You just seem upset for some reason."

She shakes her head. "Don't worry about it. I'm just being silly."

I watch her for a moment before shrugging to myself.

"So is Kyla always a Rachel Berry?" I ask shoving a small group of fries in my mouth.

"Not all the time. Sometimes she's a raging Santana."

"Ooh. Scary." I wince.

"Very. Add a little Sylvester in there and you've got insanity."

"Double horrifying." Shiver.

Ashley giggles as she watches my reactions. "So what about Andi?"

"Andi? Oh Ms Wyler?"

She nods.

I examine my French fry carefully like it would hold all the answers.

"I don't know Ms Wyler enough to give her an accurate-" I roll my wrist around in circles trying to get my words out. "Whatever we're doing. But if I had to answer I would say Mike Chang season 1. She has this quiet mysterious thing going on. She doesn't say much but you know she has something to say."

Ashley thinks over my words, nodding. "I can see that. I mean you don't know her that well."

"How do you know her? If you don't mind me asking."

"Not at all. We went to school together." My eyes widened. Whoa. Really? But how- and why is she-wait what?

"Huh?" I answer with.

"She's older than us sure but only by a few years. She'll be 24 in a few months."

"Huh?" Still confused, clearly.

"She graduated when we were freshmen but we hung out because of Drama and Kyla joined all the plays that same year. She suddenly got inspired to do acting once we all became friends. Andi was King High's leading lady for most of the productions. She was just that talented. She could sing. She could dance. She could act. Plus she was super smart. I mean, like Einstein smart. Scary smart." She emphasizes, gesturing with her hands around her head how big Ms Wyler's brain was. It was apparently larger than a pumpkin by her description.

"I get it." I chuckle.

"Like I said. Smart. So while she was a freshman something happened where I guess her IQ scores or her test scores were so high that she was getting offers and scholarships from Harvard and Yale and other top notch schools."

"No way." I awed.

"Way. So she worked her ass off all through high school. Not only going to high school full time but college too."

"How is that possible? My brain would be frying by the first day!"

"She's Andi. I swear that chick can do anything when she's determined."

"Whoa. So she has all these degrees and she gets a teaching job as a substitute?"

"Well she's only 23. Gotta give her some credit right? Plus, she had only been assisting her college professors apparently but I guess word had gotten around that she was back in town and the principle called her up and asked if she would like a job while she was here."

I looked at her incredulously. "Can they do that? I mean does she have a teaching degree?"

Ashley shrugged. "I don't think they can but the school didn't bat an eye when she came in the following day asking for a class."

"Wow." I was astonished.

Holy crap.

"Yup."

I stared at my French fry in awe. Ashley giggled.

"So what about me?" She cups her cheeks and leans her elbows on the table.

I look at her questioningly. "You as in…Glee you?"

"Yup." She smiles and leans closer.

"Um."

"Just tell me. I won't get mad. Well only a little, if you like, compare me to Finn."

"Uh…Q-Quinn?" I stammer.

She raises an eyebrow. "Really? But she's a bitch."

"Yeah but she's pretty and you're feisty like Santana."

She stares at me. "You think I'm pretty?"

I shove the damn French fry in my mouth and chew. I nod.

She smiles and her face turns a little pink. Well that's certainly not an unflattering color for her.

"Thanks."

"Just being honest."

Her face turns pinker.

"I hope I'm not making you feel uncomfortable." I ask nervously.

"Oh no. You're fine. You're…you're perfect actually." She smiles beautifully and I feel myself melt a little inside.

"Oh." I blush.

We sit in silence for a while, eating the rest of our appetizers and then getting a To-Go box from Rodney this time, not Dianna. Rodney then brought out Ashley's special order and it was a decent sized bowl of Ashley's favorite sundae with two spoons sticking out of it in a cross, the curves meeting together to look suspiciously like a heart.

Ashley looked at me carefully as my mouth began to water. "I just saw you eyeing it last time we were here so I thought you might like to try some." She said shyly.

I squealed happily and dove in. Me and Ashley soon were having a spoon battle to get at the sundae first. Ashley won…cheater. I let her win.

Yeah. That's what happened.

We giggled and ate our Sundae and talked some more.

"You remind me more of Sam than anyone else. Maybe a little Brittany." She takes a sip from her soda and stares at me.

I gape at her. Is she serious?

I scoff. "I am so not like Sam." I tell her, thoroughly scandalized.

She smirks and nods. "You kinda are. You have that adorable…dorky thing going on." she gestures. My eyes widen, rendering me speechless. I'm so shocked by her statement that I totally over look the fact that she called me adorable.

I huff. "So not." I cross my arms petulantly.

"So are." she sing-songs, taking another bite of the Sundae, earning a spoon whack from me. She giggles and then sips from her soda again.

"Yeah well my boobs are way better than his. At least my mouth doesn't look like a swollen vagina." I mutter to myself.

What? It's true! I consider myself blessed.

Ashley eyes bulge and she coughs and sputters to get breath in.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" I ask, concerned. She waves her hands and nods. I scoot over and rub her back soothingly in an attempt to help.

"Swallowed wrong?"

She nods and coughs a bit more. Well at least she's getting air in.

"Thanks." She croaks out a moment later. I smile.

"No problem. You okay?" I ask softly. She nods.

"Yeah, all good on this end."

"Good. Evil soda." I muttered the last part as I stared darkly at her seemingly innocent soft drink. Ashley smiled and held my chin, turning it to face her.

"Don't be mean to my soda."

I pouted. "But it tried to kill you."

"Well it's a good thing you were here to save the day, huh?" She says with a slow smile, her eyes trained on her moving thumb as it begins its gentle caress on my jaw line. I shiver before I can stop myself.

A-as long as she doesn't...doesn't go anywhere near my neck or collarbone then we're all good. Oh God. The things she does with a simple touch.

Her swipes are wider now, reaching underneath my jaw to circle back around, tagging the corner of my jaw then to the corner of my chin and back again. Its such a simple touch and yet it feels so amazing. She does this for a moment longer until she does something different.

Her hand seems to hesitate before moving her talented finger lower, scraping her nails lightly down my neck. I held down a groan and my eyes feel like they're fluttering. When did I close them? She doesn't stop though. I feel a single nail, her index finger maybe, trek a determined path to my collar bone. Oh God. I turn to jelly when her fingers slowly caress the protruding bone there lightly.

"Spencer?"

"...hmm?"

"Wanna get outta here?" She husks.

"...mmmm-wait. What?" My eyes shoot open and I look confused. Did I hear her right?

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" She asks innocently.

I lift an eyebrow, thoroughly bewildered.

"Um sure. Where do you wanna go?"

She shrugs. "Anywhere."

I smile. "Where's anywhere?"

"Its wherever your heart wants it to be." She grins widely. Cheesy.

I smirk. "Then lead the way and I'll be sure to follow." I stand up and extend my hand to help her up. She smiles and bites her lip, grabbing my hand. I pull her up gently until we're standing really close to one another. My breathing hitches when her hand squeezes mine tightly and her other hand comes to rest on my hip. I can't seem to look away from her eyes and I almost forget where I am until I hear loud laughter echo from the other side of the restaurant and I pull away slowly, painfully.

I cough in my hand and back up a little bit. Her hand holds mine tightly, keeping me from going anywhere. I don't question it and wait as she gathers her purse from the bench. She stands and smiles a nose crinkler at me, motioning to me that she's ready.

I nod and with her hand in mine I lead her outside.

I wonder where my heart will take me next.

* * *

**So I've been getting less and less reviews each chapter which worries me a little. I hate being the author that shakes readers down for reviews *nudge nudge* But I'm honestly curious what you guys think.**

**Its true what they say: the more reviews, the faster I update.**

***shake shake* ;D**


	12. Chocolate Chips & Other Delicious Things

**Oh my holy flippin' *flails* I wrote all of this so fast. Your guys' responses were amazing! I asked for love and you delivered in spades. Thanks so much. That just tells me how much your enjoying the story and that means a lot. So thank you to each and every one of you that reviewed, story alerted, favorited and read my story and liked it! XD **

**On another note: I love how as soon as I post a chapter I find mistakes galore. I'll probably come back and make some corrections to the previous chapters here soon. I know I said that last time but I have nothing going on this week so why not? *shrugs***

**AND on another note: If any of you are curious what Xander and Andi look like, you can check out my ridiculously long profile and see for yourself. ;D**

**********Disclaimer: I do not own SoN. It belongs to Tom Lynch and The-N. [Insert clever quip here]**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"So where to next?" I turn in my seat curiously.

"It's a surprise." She says with a smile, turning the key in the ignition.

I pout. I don't know if I like surprises anymore. I've kinda had more today than I can handle.

Ashley looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "Hey. What's with the face? There are no frowny faces in this vehicle." She points. "So tell me how I can get rid of it."

I roll my eyes and plaster on a mega watt smile, probably blinding the other drivers with its radiance.

…_**CRASH!**_...that wasn't me officer, I swear!

"There she is." She coos.

I giggle and push her hand away when she tries to pinch my cheeks.

"No pinching. _No_ pinching…hey what I say?" I flick her hand away like it's a passing insect and narrow a glare at her.

"Its not my fault you're so darn cute. I'm helpless here. I'm just as much a victim. Besides, I can't help the adorable sounds you make." Ashley smirks and slowly reaches her hand over the console, her eyes still on the road.

I smack her hand away and give her a stern look. "That would be my pained wailing thank you very much and it is _not_ cute. I have to have _some_ street cred." I pop my vest and sit up a little.

She snorts. "What street cred? A bunny is more terrifying than you are."

I open my mouth to protest and then close it. Ugh. She's right. I cross my arms and frown.

"I can be terrifying." I mumble.

"No you can't."

I sigh and my shoulders sag. "No I can't."

Ashley smiles and shakes her head.

Fifteen minutes later we were driving through a very posh looking neighborhood. Mansion, mansion, mansion, castle, smaller castle, mansion, mansion….I'm bored now.

"Ash?"

"Yeah."

"What are we doing here?"

She looks over at me surprised. I pause and turn around to look out the window. What was so shocking that I wasn't seeing? I look back at her and arch an eyebrow questioningly.

"What?"

She looks at me, a slow smile gracing her features. "You don't know."

"Know what?"

She faces forward. She chuckles lowly and mutters to herself. "This is perfect."

"Have I mentioned that I'm confused yet because my facial expression is obviously not sending that message?" I gesture with my hand in circles in front of my thoroughly bewildered face.

_You should be a mime._

I know right.

She chuckles. "I guess you'll just have to see for yourself."

"Is this part of the surprise?"

"Yes."

I sigh loudly. "Ya see that's the thing. I kinda have an aversion to anything remotely surprising, shocking, and therefore mindboggling."

"Ooh we'll just see about that. I think you'll learn to like my surprises." She winks.

_No Spencer, she wasn't being suggestive. She was just pointing out a possible fact left over from recent observations i.e. going to Sweet Spot and ordering you that orgasmic sundae. That is all…control your fluids._

"Ya think so, huh?" I look at her with a smirk.

She taps her temple. "I know so." She smiles.

I squint my eyes and look at her suspiciously. "You a psychic?"

She chuckles and shakes her head. "Not even close."

Hmm.

A few minutes later we were pulling into a wide road, sectioned off from the rest of the neighborhood, trees surrounded both sides of the road, creating a sort of canopy. It was pretty. We drove for a moment longer until I heard a loud gasp and realized that was me.

Holy…holy… ohmeegod!

I feel my jaw click into place and turn my head to look at a smirking Ashley as she retracts her hand from my face.

"You like?"

I nod mutely.

You can fit a small country in that house-mansion-castle thing.

She gets out of the car, closing the door. A moment later my door magically opens by itself and—oh no that's just Ashley. Looking smug, Ashley extends her hand out to me. I smile shyly and take her offered hand, loving how they fit so well. She really does have soft hands. Mine are like sandpaper compared to hers.

"You ready?" She asks.

I nod and she leads me into her Disney castle. I mean, mansion. House? Whatever.

Ashley makes a show of slamming the door behind me. "I'm home loving family! Come forth and kiss my hand."

A moment later Kyla walks into the foray, smirking. "Calm down your highness. We're here. I told you it wasn't an earthquake Andi! It was just Ashley's big head trying to fit through the door."

Ashley claps once and with a huge smile on her face. "Oh good one sis. Hey is that a new shirt? Because I don't like it." Ashley smiles sweetly.

"Good. That means its tasteful and I don't look like a slut." Kyla beams back.

Ashley tuts and wags a finger at her. "You."

Kyla does the same thing and hugs her sister. "You."

I stand next to Andi and tilt my head in her direction to whisper, "Is this normal?"

"It is for them. Just go with it." She whispers back.

We lean back and Ashley turns back to me and smiles. "Kyla I brought a special guest over. Hope you don't mind setting an extra plate at the table for dinner."

Kyla snorts. "Like we eat at the dinner table." Ashley elbows her with a tight smile.

"I mean, of course you're welcome for dinner, Spencer." She says with a polite smile.

I smile and thank her. "That's kind of you but I think my mother would have an aneurism if I didn't show up for dinner. Rain check though?"

Kyla nods.

Kyla crosses her arms over her chest and smiles at the two of us. "So. What have you two lovely ladies been up to?"

I scratch the back of my neck nervously, thinking about what happened before we left Sweet Spot, my neck beginning to tingle. Thankfully Ashley answers for the both of us.

"Ya know. This and that."

Kyla nods. "Uh-huh." She smirks and watches as I flush a little.

"Oh Kyla leave them alone. Its not like you divulge every minute of _your_ day to me." Andi says.

"That's because I'm usually with _you_ dork." Kyla shot back.

"True but you still don't tell me everything that happens when you're not." Andi says.

"Touché."

"Oh!" Kyla shouts and I jump out of surprise of the volume. "Spencer I have something for you. Well both you and Ashley." She leaves the room for a few minutes and comes back in with two packets of paper. "These are for you. They're your scripts. I was planning on giving it to you tomorrow but what the hell. You're already here." She hands one to me and chucks the other in Ashley's arms. The brunette scowls at her sister.

I thumb through it. It's pretty thick. How long is the play again? "Um thanks."

"You guys should run lines together whenever you can. Since we already have the two main characters picked out it would make sense to get started now." She gives a pointed look to Ashley.

"Hey we'll get started when we finish watching the movies we picked out." Ashley crosses her arms over her chest defiantly. We picked out movies? When did this happen?

"Fine." Kyla grits out through clenched teeth. "But be sure to do that at least a few times before Spencer has to leave please." Ashley flicks her hand a few times as if saying 'yeah yeah. "Any scenes you have involving other characters can wait for when we finally start rehearsals. That is if we ever get past auditions." She says with a sigh.

"How are those going by the way?" I look at her sympathetically. She looked stressed once she mentioned it, so obviously not well.

"Its…_ugh_!" She scrunches her face up and plops her butt on the couch.

"Sooo great then?" I look at her hopefully. I'm all for positivity.

She looks up and gives me a frustrated look. My smile slowly disappears. I raise my hands up in surrender and back up an inch. Ashley smirks at me.

"Sorry. No jokes." I said. I draw a cross over my heart.

She waves me off and looks at me apologetically. "It's not you. I'm just having trouble finding the right Tyler."

"Who?"

"Oh. Your competition." She answers.

I look at her confused. "My competition for what?"

"For Ashley… or well Misty." She motions with a tilt of her head to Ashley and I bite my lip, nodding.

I see.

Meaning I would have to pretend to be jealous when I actually was. Wonderful.

That was sarcasm by the way.

"So are there any scenes you want us to work on first or does it not matter?" Ashley asks.

Kyla looks at Ashley and smiles. She looks suspiciously like the cat that ate the canary. Why do I suddenly feel uneasy about this?

"Your guys' first scene together of course. But I'm confident that you both will sail through that scene on the first try. Then pages 70 through 72 mostly." She smirks mischievously at Ashley and her sister narrows her eyes at her. Okay I don't like either of those looks. What could be so bad about pages 70-72?

"What happens on those last pages?" I ask carefully. Kyla looks almost gleeful. I arch an eyebrow.

"Well your passionate kissing scene of course." She beams, flashing her pearly whites. My eyes widen. Andi looks at me worriedly. Ashley bites her lip and flips the pages of the script in interest.

I do the open mouth fish thing.

"…"

"Oh how cute. Andi, isn't she cute? She's speechless. I can tell you're both really excited to go practice so-" Andi smacks Kyla's knee lightly, giving her a warning look. Kyla coughs and fixes her gaze back on us. "Right so just try and relax when you finally begin your lines. Ashley you know the drill." Ashley nods, not looking up from reading. Kyla turns to me and smiles at me warmly. "Have you ever done a kissing scene before Spencer?"

I shake my head no.

"Okay well just do what you normally do when you do a scene but just make sure to take a few calming breaths before you begin if you're nervous." She says.

"But I've never done anything like this before? This is all new territory for me." I reply sheepishly.

Kyla tilts her head and looks at me curiously. "Haven't done what before?" Wow she really doesn't know.

"Acting, well, performing in general. I'm pretty new to show biz."

Kyla nods slowly. "Well that says a lot then." She trails off and I bite my lip nervously. What does that mean? Does she mean I can't be Colby anymore?

"Says what exactly?" I chew the crap out of my lip. I notice Andi smiling kindly at me, like she was encouraging me that everything would be okay. I sent her a grateful look. I don't know if she understood its meaning but I hoped she did.

Kyla paused and looked at me.

"That you're even more perfect for the role than I originally thought." She says sincerely.

I blink. Does she really have that much faith in me? "Really?" I ask.

Kyla nods. "Without a doubt."

I finally breathe normally and run my fingers through my hair. I was so relieved. I never realized how much I wanted this part until I thought I was in jeopardy of losing it.

"Now go on you." She fans her hand at us, shooing us away. "Get to practicing. The Gershwin theatre wasn't built in a day ya know. Away with you!"

I back up slowly and Ashley rolls her eyes at her sister and grabs my hand, pulling me along up the stairs.

We climb the spiral staircase and walk down the large hallway. I was in awe of this place. Even the hallways were huge. I noticed that there weren't any family pictures on the wall though. Not like my house. Just about every inch of wall space is crammed with some family vacation adventure or a holiday snapshot.

We stopped by a large mahogany door with the words 'Ashley's Room Sucka' in purple and black graffiti.

Nice.

As Ashley lead me into her room I'm blown away by the sheer size of it. The room has to be larger than mine, Glen's and my parents combined. Holy sh—

"So what do you think?" she actually twirls a little, gesturing to her big ass room.

Its big.

Really big.

The second thing I notice is the strong aroma in the air. I know that sounds weird but if you've ever been around Ashley, then you know she smells amazing. Her room was engulfed in the scent. It was a subtle hint of cinnamon and something else I couldn't put my finger until I stepped into the room.

Peaches. She smells like fresh peaches and cinnamon. Yum.

"Its huge." I reply. "Like," I gesture with both hands "pregnant huge. Like whale sized. Like—"Ashley covers my flapping lips with her index finger and smiles amused.

"I think I got it, thanks." She winks at me and drops her finger.

I blush.

She sits on the huge four poster bed and bends over to take her stylish boots off. I look around her room. I love the art on the walls. Mind you it's mostly graffiti but I've always loved graffiti art. It's actually the one thing I _can't_ draw, well, that and detailed landscapes. My majestic glamorous skyscrapers somehow ended up looking like droopy traffic cones. Sigh.

I look at the other half of the room…

I'm gonna take a wild fat guess and say that Ashley's a little more musically inclined.

_Great job Spencer. Like you couldn't tell that by the various band posters, the impressive drum set and the two acoustic guitars in the corner oh yeah and all the lyric sheets strewn around the room._

Shut up.

My eyes catch something dangling over the canopy.

So cool! She has Christmas lights hung around the room. Mostly around her four poster bed and draped over the shear black curtains of the canopy. I bet it looks amazing at night with all the lights turned off. Overall, it's really pretty. I'm not sure how else to describe it. There's just something about this room that just fascinates me. Maybe it has something to do with the equally pretty girl that is now taking off her shirt and _OH MY GOD_!

"W-what are you doing?" My eyes bug and I freeze on the spot, every muscle rigid and screaming in protest to not ravage the beautiful half naked girl before me.

"Getting comfortable." She says simply, like it's totally normal to strip in front of people you just met yesterday. Is that normal?

_**No**__ it's not normal Spencer!_

I look at her wearily because, honestly, I have no idea how to behave in this situation.

_Looking away would probably be a good first step Spencer!_

Oh yeah…

_Meaning __**now**__!_

…right.

_For the love of God Spencer! Don't be a creeper._

Oh my God you're totally right. I'm worse than _Patrick_. Bad Spencer!

_Sheez. Now she listens to me…_

I fling my hands in front of my eyes to shield them against any beautiful sparkling nudity. Which is just killing me to do but I reason with myself.

_It's for your own protection. It would be mighty tragic if you had a heart attack so young. So so sad._

Grrr.

I jump when I feel soft fingers encircling around my wrists. "Spencer? What are you doing?" She sounds amused.

"Censoring."

I hear soft laughter and she pulls my hands away from my face, but my eyes are shut tight. Ha! Didn't see that coming, didjya?

"Spencer, open your eyes."

Mm-mm. I shake my head.

It's silent for a moment and I wonder briefly if she gave up and left me be with my inner flailing. I hear rustling, like fabric being shifted, and a soft thump of something hitting the ground.

"You can open your eyes Luce." She moves my hands away from my face again and surprises me when she intertwines our fingers together.

"Is it safe?" I ask hesitantly.

She chuckles and hums a yes.

I blink open my eyes and am greeting by Ashley's smiling face. I smile back and look at her curiously. Why does she look so…pleased?

"What? What are yo—" I look down…..

...O.O

"Spencer?"

"..."

"Spencer. My eyes are up here."

"Yes but your nipples are down there." I blurt out before I can properly operate my brain that has been overrun by hormones.

_ABANDON SHIP!_

She laughs and lifts my chin up with her fingers.

"Yes they are. Now look at me please." I somehow find the will to look away and …and…

My eyes widen like dinner plates.

"Oh my God! I am _so_ sorry. I-I don't know why I did that."

_I do._

Not now.

"I'm so sorry Ashley. That was totally uncalled for and I understand if you want me to leave and I—"

"Whoa whoa whoa. No one's going anywhere. It's fine Spencer." She squeezes my hands. Why is she being so nonchalant about this?

"But I totally just pulled a Patrick and that is so rude and inappropriate and I can't believe I did that. I'm usually more respectful. Very respectful actually. Well sometimes. Not to Patrick. Never Patrick. Gross pervy man-child." I grumbled. "I mean, he checked me out and I felt gross and icky and I'm sure it felt the same way when he did it to you, maybe. I can't imagine what it felt like when _I_ did it. Oh God. You're repulsed, aren't you? I knew I shouldn't have looked down but I didn't _know_ you were…_ya know_ and and…and I feel bad." I take a deep breath and end my babble fit. Ashley just stands there, very much bare in the chest area, and looking very amused with the situation for some reason.

Am I hallucinating because none of this makes sense?

"Its perfectly alright Spencer. No you don't have to leave, yes it was pretty sick when Patrick was checking out my junk but I didn't even bat an eye when you were doing it. Its only natural to be curious. I could never be repulsed by you. Never think that. You're too sweet to ever disgust anyone. If anything you'd probably give them a toothache."

I giggled and she squeezes my hands again with a smile.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'm not one for shyness so I didn't think it a big deal."

"Then why are all…naked before me?" I gesture with one of our joined hands.

"Because I'm weird and want you to feel comfortable around me. This is my unorthodox way of doing it and we're both girls. I got nothing you haven't already seen before." She winks at me and I flush. I'm pretty sure my face is purple by now.

"So I'm going to go get dressed. I promise this time and then we'll run lines so we make Kyla happy." She winks and walks into her big ass walk in closet. I blush magenta.

"What about the movies?" I shout so she can hear me.

"Yeah there aren't any. I just said that to piss Kyla off."

"Ah."I nodded.

"But we'll watch something after we're done with this okay? Business first, pleasure second. If I know Kyla, and unfortunately I do, if we don't get them done then she'll bother us for the rest of the night until we do."

"Perfectionist?"

"Extremely."

I shrug. "Its fine with me."

"Okay," she walks out of the closet wearing a tight red t-shirt that exposed most of her toned stomach and short shorts. I gulped. She smiles and hands me the other script. "Let's get started."

* * *

**Character Diversion Thingy!**

**Andi's POV:**

"You're doing it again." I muttered, not taking my eyes off the papers in front of me. I adjusted my reading glasses and bit my lip as I concentrated on correcting another problem. I think Tommy might need a tutor. He's starting to fall way behind.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The short brunette replied from her place in the comfy chair, brunette locks splayed across the arm rest and deceptively long legs slung over the other. For reasons I'm not even going to address now, I was jealous of that chair. _So_ jealous. Ugh. I shook the thoughts from my head and told myself to focus and answer the expectant looking girl. I turn my head to look at her.

"Well for one, you're grinning like a maniac who just won the lottery but doesn't know if she should cash it all in on a custom made bedazzled straight jacket or go on a gleeful killing spree and hack the town to pieces for giggles. And two—" Kyla turns to me.

"Your beautiful mind scares me sometimes." She interjects.

"You love it because I keep it interesting." I tell her and grin crookedly at her. She rolls her eyes but doesn't deny it, I noticed. "and _two_, you've been staring at me for the last twenty minutes. If I didn't know you so well I'd say you were a creeper." I watch her from the corner of my eye. I knew what came next. She gasped.

"I am no such thing." Kyla said, clutching a hand to her chest. I chuckled. She never disappoints with the dramatics.

"You so are." I teased, smirking. She so was. But it's okay. For more reasons I wasn't ready to analyze yet, I didn't mind so much.

I correct another problem and sigh in relief when I was finally done. I lean back in my desk chair and run both hands through my long brown hair and close my eyes.

"Does that sigh mean you're done?"

"Yes it does thankfully."

"Good. I was starting to get bored." Kyla stands up from the couch and walks over to me. I don't move from my current position.

"You? Bored? Oh perish the thought." I say with a gasp. Kyla giggles and I feel fingers in my hair and smile as they begin massaging my scalp.

"You make fun but I was almost about to fall asleep on that couch."

"It is a comfy couch." I grin.

"I know right." Kyla gushes. I chuckle.

"Mmm that feels good." Kyla had now begun to rub my temples slowly. I moaned at the feeling, finally feeling my muscles relax.

"I know. I have a gift."

"Yes you do. Hey if your acting slash modeling slash mega pop star career doesn't work out you can always be a kick ass masseuse."

"Eh. I'll think about it." I can hear the smirk in her voice and chuckle.

"Let me know though so I can book you in advance. I can already tell by your magical hands that you're gonna be booked solid."

Kyla giggles. "Magical hands huh?"

"Enchanting." I said with a smile.

"Mmmm I like the sound of that."

"I bet you do with that big ego of yours."

"Hey ya gotta stroke a girl's ego every once in awhile."

"And by every once in awhile you mean everyday right?"

"Mmm you catch on fast."

I laugh and enjoy the scalp massage until the house phone rings and Kyla apologizes, kissing my forehead and goes to answer the phone. I sigh and sit up. I gather all the worksheets and put them back in my leather messenger bag. Once that's all done I set about making dinner. Kyla can't cook so whenever I'm over, and that's usually every day, then I make dinner.

I get all the ingredients from the fridge to make chocolate chip pancakes. Kyla's favorite. Kyla came into the kitchen and set the phone down on the counter.

"There you are. I was wondering where you ran off to."

"Just making dinner. Who was on the phone?"

"Stupid telemarketer."

I hum and start mixing the batter with the whisk.

She hops on top of the counter beside me and looks down at the bowl in my hands. "Whatcha making?"

"Chocolate chip pancakes." I answer, smiling knowingly.

The shorter brunette licks her lips. "Yum. My favorite."

"I know."

Once the pancakes are finished and are left cooling on the plate I have to literally pick Kyla up and drag her out of the kitchen. Knowing her she'd just eat them all before anyone else got any. We moved into the living room and talk for a little while and then settle into a comfortable silence. I pull my legs up on the couch, tucking them under me a little and resume reading the book on my iPad.

Kyla looks up from her notes at the sound of footsteps descending the stairs. "How'd it go?" She asks the girls. Spencer looks tense and keeps fidgeting with the hem of her white t-shirt.

Ashley sighs softly and plants her butt on the arm of the couch. "You were right about the first scene. It was a breeze. We ran through it a few times, each time doing something a little different to make it new in some way but overall it was a piece of cake." She makes a show of buffing her nails on her shirt and I roll my eyes and smile.

"And the kiss?" Kyla prods.

"Yeah that wasn't as easy."

"What happened?" Kyla asks softly, looking over to the blonde. Spencer looks so disappointed.

"I'm so sorry you guys. I tried. I really did. I just can't seem to relax." The blonde said, running her hand through her hair. Kyla and Ashley look at each other and engage in a quiet conversation. I watch the distraught blonde with interest. She was really taking this hard. I mean, it was just a kiss, right? Maybe she was upset because she didn't like the thought of kissing a girl. Spencer picked her head up a little and watched Ashley interact with Kyla, biting her lip as her eyes raked down the brunette's form.

Or maybe it's more than that.

"Hey Spencer?"

The blonde's head jerked in my direction and I motioned with my index finger for her to come here. When she was in front of me I smiled at her. "You wanna know a secret about doing a kissing scene properly?"

Spencer nodded emphatically.

"Don't think about it so much. When it happens go with your gut not your head. This right here," I tap the side of my head. "Will make you second guess every movement, and that doesn't look at all natural or passionate. In the end, the best way to relax yourself is to not think so hard. You're forcing yourself to relax and that's not going to work. Its all about how your body feels. Are your muscles tense, then pause and try and loosen them up. Are your breaths even, if not then pause, and try taking slow, deep breaths. And stop using _this _so damn much." I tap her forehead gently and she smiles. I smile back. She gives a determined nod.

"Don't think, just do." She recites. I wouldn't be surprised if she was chanting that in her head right now.

"Precisely." I nod.

I look over at the other two and watch as they come to an agreement about something. They nod and bump fists with identical smirks on their faces. Oh no. Kyla has that manic look in her eyes again as she glances at Spencer.

The shorter brunette crosses her legs and clasps her hands together on her knee. "Spence?" The blonde looks away from me and over at Kyla. The brunette points at Ashley. "You might want to watch this."

What is she up to?

Ashley stood up and sauntered over to Spencer. She didn't say a word. She grabbed the blonde by the back of the neck and pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss.

* * *

**Alright folk! There you have it! I can't even imagine what Spencer's inner flailing looks like now. Well I can, but its not pretty. Lol. Anyways. Keep the reviews coming people and I'll get started on that next update. When I post is determined by if I get enough reviews in the next few days.**

**Hope you enjoyed it guys. Till next time! XD**


	13. Our First Kiss

**Damn I'm on a roll this month. XD Well your reviews and alerts help tremendously so keep them coming. The more reviews I get for this chapter the faster I'll update. Pinky promise, ;)**

**Now I'm introducing a new character soon. Any ideas on girl names?**

******Disclaimer: I do not own SoN. It belongs to Tom Lynch and The-N. [Insert clever quip here]**

******Enjoy!**

* * *

I stumbled back in shock but Ashley matched my retreat step for step.

I completely blanked. I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything. There was no flailing. No inner ramblings, unless you count the _ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!_ that was being uttered like a manic mantra in my head. But other than that...I was good.

I was great.

I was kissing Ashley.

And...and...oh my flipping gawd! I was kissing Ashley!

At this point I wasn't really responding so Ashley was trying her best to incite a response from me. Gently, as if the slightest pressure would break me, she cupped my cheek like so and pushed her soft lips on mine a little more firmly. Nothing. I was doing the opposite of what Andi told me to do. I was so overwhelmed at the thought of _'Holy hell this is actually happening'_ that Ashley was starting to get a little anxious too, resorting to a little more...erm aggressive battle strategies. As one hand cupped my cheek the other hand made itself known by trying to carefully extract my vest from my body. I didn't really think so much of why she would need to take it off and complied with her silent request, shrugging the material off. Ashley smiled into the kiss and ran her hand from around my back and into my hair, dragging her fingernails down my scalp lightly. I groaned at the feeling at which Ashley used as an opener and plundered her tongue in my mouth. At this point, thinking too hard was no longer a problem. I couldn't think at all. I responded with vigor, finally letting myself go and enjoying all that Ashley had to offer. Enjoying her special sweetness for as long as it was being given to me. My tongue curled with hers as hers teased and coaxed mine into coming out to play. I agreed only too eagerly and soon we were having a battle of tongues between our mouth, one in which Ashley was the victor. Surprise surprise.

I groaned. I was loving this feeling, loving her taste and never wanting it to end.

Can I keep you?

Pretty please?

I felt myself being pushed back until the back of my knees hit soft cushions and I was falling backwards in a chair, Ashley following along with me. She doesn't distance herself from my lips though and shifts her body around to get more comfortable. I feel her lower half lift a little from my lap, and then straddle my hips.

"Mmmm." I moan. I can't help it. She's basically replaying every fantasy and every steamy day dream I can think of that has her toned legs wrapped around me and- _oh my god focus_! She's doing something with her hands and...what is she doing?

She lifted my shirt a little, letting it rest on the curve of my breasts. My stomach muscles twitched in anticipation. She hadn't even touched me yet and I was already excited. I felt the cool air of the whirling AC tickle my exposed abdomen and my muscles clenched and seized as they waited for that first touch.

I wasn't disappointed. I groaned before I could get a clamp on it. Her soft hands traced the subtle lines of my abs (_thank you cheerleading_) and her fingers moved to the side and splayed as they felt along the ridges of my obliques.

Ashley caressed my stomach for moment longer until I felt her hand move around my ribs and stroking my back. I gasped at the first bit of pressure to my spine. Ashley giggled into my mouth and scraped her nails teasingly down the ridges of my spine, bringing forth a loud moan from my lips. She sucked my lower lip into her mouth and bit it playfully. I moaned throatily. I leaned forward, pressing my lips even harder to Ashley's and tucking my top lip between hers and sucking greedily on her bottom. She moaned loudly and tangled one hand into my hair and dug her nails in the skin of my back, dragging it down. I moaned. Fuck.

Ashley's hips bucked into my stomach, seeking friction and getting none. Pushing herself even closer to my front, she stood on her knees and I followed her lips, kissing up at her with a groan. We kissed in sync with each other, moaning and moving together in a passionate rhythm. I held her close to me, wanting her even tighter to my body than what was physically possible at this point.

We panted through our noses, not wanting to break away just yet. But even that was becoming hard and everything was beginning to get heady and spots were slowly forming behind my closed eyelids.

Just...a little...m-more...fuck!

We broke away. Ashley rested her heated forehead against mine and I held her with both hands, rubbing her back soothingly. Fuck that was amazing and just...wow.

"Wow." Ashley panted. I nodded. "I mean...wow." Couldn't've said it better myself. Well I could have said, _'fucking_ wow' but that was too many words for my sputtering happy brain right now and I was too busy panting in the most unsexy way right now. Well I thought it seemed unsexy. Gah. I have no idea.

I shut up now.

There was a cough behind us and than an even louder and more obnoxious one a few seconds later when me and Ashley made no plans to move from our blissful panty sexy world. Well my world anyway. I had no idea what Ashley was thinking right now but goodness would I give anything to know.

I wonder if she's freaking out?

*COUGH! Cough! Hack spit hack!* "Cold shower!" *Cough!* I looked into Ashley's bright brown eyes and watched as they rolled at the rude noise. I smiled softly.

Ashley gently disentangles her hand from my hair and raised it behind her to show exactly how much she appreciated the interruption. I couldn't be sure though, I was only guessing what she was doing. I mean, I was kinda having trouble seeing anything past Ashley's chocolate pools. They seemed lighter than I remembered. Like she was just offered the sun for the first time and her lovely eyes were soaking up as much of its rays as it could. Have I mentioned that I love her eyes?

Whenever they were trained on mine, I felt a heat in my belly that was impossible to ignore. All I wanted was to get closer to her, to feel her against me, to hold her hand, twirl her hair between my fingers, sit next to her in class, let my reality be interrupted for forever as long as she was there with me. I wanted that fantasy. I wanted her. Badly. Like pressed against my lips and everywhere else badly.

Ashley and I hadn't moved from our current position and to be honest, I've kinda forgotten how it feels to have motor control, and I really didn't care. Ashley smiled at me and kissed my nose before sitting up and looking over her shoulder.

"So...how was that for passionate?" She asks with a very satisfied smirk on her face. I'm not really paying attention to anything she's saying and am more preoccupied with the warm weight of her crotch that's still pressed against mine as she sits.

Andi looks at me and her face suggests that she isn't sure if she should laugh or actually answer the question seriously. She does neither and coughs in her closed fist and raises her hand to give an encouraging thumbs up.

Both brunettes look in the shorter brunette's direction.

"Welp. I'm disturbingly turned on right now." Kyla muttered. Andi turns and whacks Kyla's arm.

She holds her hands up innocently. "What? It was a compliment."

Andi raised an eyebrow, giving her a look like 'yeah right'.

Kyla looks over to us. "Well congratulations you two. I got a tickle in my belly and I'm not proud to say that because one of you is my annoying trampy sister, but otherwise, kudos to you." she claps. My lap suddenly feels chilly and I frown when I realize Ashley has gotten off…I mean dismounted…um removed her warm ass from my lap—okay ya know what? Forget it. My mind has been invaded by evil horny thoughts so there is no way I can make that sentence not sound dirty.

_You should be ashamed of yourself._

Shut the duck up!

_Someone's touchy._

Someone's horny. Now scram!

_Don't be mean to me just because you were cock blocked. It wasn't **my** fault. I was actually rooting for you. _

That would be a first.

_Not really. You simply take my __**smart**__ and __**helpful**__ suggestions as being negative. Which I'm not. I'm just more logical…which you hate._

That I do.

_At least we agree on something._

We should document this moment. Might not happen again.

_Yeah later. You should probably be more concerned about the conversation that's going on around you. _

Whoa…head rush…wait. Why am I standing up? And what was she saying? She was saying words right?

I sway a little and blink a lot. "Thanks...I think."

"Trust me that's Kyla's vote of approval." Ashley whispered close to my ear. I shivered.

Weird approval.

"Well, her version of a job well done." Ashley shrugs. "I would have been just fine with a scratch and sniff sticker but leave it to Kyla to make me feel dirty and bad about myself for something so innocent."

Kyla snorts loudly. "That kiss was anything but innocent." Another whack from Andi.

"Be nice." she chided.

"I _am_ being nice. You got your verbal equivalent of a high five, what more do you want from me? I'm only one talented woman you know?"

"And she calls me big headed." Ashley muttered to me. I laughed breathily, my smile lazy but no less blissful. Would it sound weird if I said all I wanted to do right then was lean my head on her shoulder?

"Um thanks for the kind um…for the nice uh…" I struggled to think of an appropriate response and just settled with, "thanks for the input."

Ashley smirks, probably understanding my difficulty for words.

"Of course. Now I don't think nearly stripping on stage is of the good. This is a high school production after all, not Spring Awakening so none of," She gestures to the chair we had been seated in. "that stuff. Tone is down some please. I would suggest you practice it that way you can get the feel for each other," _Did she really just say that? _"Practice makes perfect and if I have anything to say about it then you'll practice it until its better than perfect." She says with a stern look.

_She's intense._

Yeah, no kidding.

"Chill out Kyla. We'll practice the kiss, okay? Right Luce?" Ashley turns to me and I gape at her and then nod slowly and then vigorously as I realize what I'm agreeing to.

"R-right. It'll be perfect Kyla. I promise."

Kyla breathes and then smiles. "Brilliant. Why don't you ladies get started now and then I—"

Ashley holds up a finger. "Ha ha no. We," She gestures between me and her. "are going upstairs to watch a movie before she has to leave. So if you don't mind." Kyla opens her mouth to protest but Ashley cuts her off. "You don't? Well aren't you sweet. So if you'll excuse us." My fingers find themselves weaved with hers and she's pulling me upstairs.

Andi smirks at me and mouths, "Great job Spence."

I smile and give her a nod before she's cut from my view.

"Well that was interesting." The brunette says taking a seat on her bed and lying down in the middle with her ankles crossed.

I scratch my neck and shuffle my feet. "You could say that."

Ashley watches me carefully. "You okay?"

I pick my head up and nod. "Yeah I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You seem…stressed. More so than before."

I was. I mean, I just kissed Ashley. The girl that I have been in love with since I first saw her last year. It still hasn't sunk in yet. But I didn't feel as elated as I had thought I would. I felt like shit. We just had our first kiss together. And it didn't mean anything. Not to her anyway. She doesn't know how I feel about her. She doesn't return my feelings and the kiss wasn't even real. It was for show. And I don't know. It just hurts more I guess. I wanted our first kiss to mean something to the both of us. I guess I'm just asking for too much. I should be lucky that I can even kiss her like that and not have her questioning my motives. I should be lucky that she's even hanging out with me. I never had that luxury before. So why am I whining about it now?

_Because it hurts like hell._

Not now.

_But it does. You can't deny what you feel._

But it's easier.

_For who? Because all I see is someone who feels even more trepidatous about the play. Someone who feels miserable._

Please shut up. I can't do this right now.

"Spencer?" Ashley looks at me concerned as she gets up from the bed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." God all I wanted was to leave. I wanted to go home and wallow in my bed. I needed to change the subject. "So what movies did you pick out?"

If Ashley found my sudden change in topic suspicious she didn't say anything.

She smirks and bites the corner of her lip. "It's a surprise."

I groan. "Another one?"

"Yes _another one_. But you'll love it. I promise." She walks around me and makes her way toward her desk where her laptop is. She grabs a small device from one of the drawers. I craned my neck to get a better look. There weren't any keys on the front so it had to be touch screen. She tapped the screen a few times and looked up as a slick projection screen descended from the ceiling. I did a double take.

What the hell? Where'd that come from?

She grins and taps it a few more times. The screen lights up and flashes a logo. Ashley bends down to her computer and clicks it a few times until she seems satisfied with what she wanted it to do and turned back to me.

"Did you want anything to eat while we watch the movie? Something to drink?"

"Popcorn?"

"Coming right up." She says with a smile. "Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back."

I nod and she leaves. I look around the room and aimlessly. I'm not really sure if I should sit on the bed or the chair or what? She said get comfortable so I guess the chair it is.

When Ashley finally makes her way back, a bowl of popcorn in hand, and a glass of something purple and fizzy in the other, she shakes her head and tuts at me.

"When I said get comfortable, I kinda meant on my bed." She sets the drink down on the side table and lays on the bed.

_Dirty thoughts!_

"Uh well I wasn't sure if I was allowed."

"Of course you're allowed. So come here and get comfortable so we can get this thing started." I scramble on the bed and bounce a little when I plop my butt in the spot that was intentionally about 3 feet away from her. It's a big bed.

"Why are you so far away?"

"Well I just thought—"

"Come here. I don't bite…actually that's not true." She winks at me and I blush thinking of when she had tugged on my bottom lip with her teeth. My mind of course, went deep into the gutter and threw a fit when I told it to get out of there.

You suck.

_Hey. Blame hormones_.

Arrgh!

I make to get up, thinking that this was a horrible idea. The chair was definitely the safer option.

"Spencer, stop talking and sit down." She commanded.

I close my mouth, feeling a little aroused by her demanding tone. I mean, what?

_You said a little aroused by her demanding—_

Oh sweet Jesus, shut up!

I do as she asked and sit back down.

"Now come here." She instructs, opening her arms as a form of invitation.

Um.

I crawl over to her, our thighs barely touching

"Is this close enough for you?"

She nods. "Yup." She picks up the touch screen by her side and taps it a few times until the screen brightens and the surround sound fills with drum rolls of the opening credits. My eyes popped open as soon as the intro music started.

I gasp and bounce excitedly making the mattress jiggle. "Oh my God now way!"

Ashley giggles. "Did I do good or what?"

"You did spectacular. How'd you know I—"

"You're audition, duh."

_Yeah. Durr Spencer._

"Oh yeah."

She giggles at me. "Now shhh. The movie's about to start."

I squealed softly. "I love this movie."

She smirks at me, popping a kernel in her mouth. "I know. You make that kinda obvious, Luce."

I grab a handful of popcorn before she eats it all and sat back against the comfy pillows and enjoy one of the best lesbian movies ever made. Okay so I'm a little biased.

_A little?_

Hush you.

We laughed at the dialogue and awed at the sweet parts. It wasn't until the kiss that I adjusted my seated position. During the movie, Ashley had somehow slithered her way into my arms and we were now lying down together. It was amazing having her in my arms but it was also bittersweet. I wanted so badly to plant a soft kiss to her forehead or just I don't know, hold her a little tighter against me, but I couldn't without freaking her out.

I always loved the kiss. It was sweet and beautiful but it was also a kiss between two women and that fact made it glaringly real that I was with the girl that I had kissed only an hour ago. I gritted my teeth when Ashley snuggled even tighter to my body. After the movie and I was done with my happy squeals and Ashley was done laughing at my excitement, it was almost time for me to go home. Ashley didn't move from her positing in my arms though and simply reached for the flat device to turn the projection TV slidy thingy off and put it back down by her side.

I was still shocked at the size of this place. I mean I wasn't jealous or anything. If I had this much money I wouldn't even know what to do with myself. I'd probably be boring and sloth like. Not that Ashley is.

"I still can't believe that you live here." I say in awe.

Ashley snorts in her glass. "I still can't believe you didn't know I was rich."

"Hey it's not something I pay attention to." I defend.

Ashley smiles genuinely and laces our hands together. It was hard to ignore the soft tingle on my skin wherever it touched Ashley's. I look up from our hands and into Ashley's eyes at the exact same time as they pick up from our joined hands. "I know and that's what I like about you. You don't care about that stuff. Most people would but not you."

It's true. I can honestly care less where you live, how you live and what your car looks like. Hell I don't even care what _my_ car looks like.

Actually that's a fib. I think my car is the most adorable little thing on four wheels. So cute!

"You're different." She says.

I smile. "Different bad?"

She smiles understanding my train of thought. "Never bad."

We look at each other. I'm trying to force myself to look away but I can't. It's not possible. Her face seems to be getting closer and I can't tell if it's her that's leaning in or me. Either way, it's happening and I don't think I even want to try and stop it. I know I should. This play will do me more harm than good in the long run but I guess I was wrong when I thought I would never become a masochist. I don't think my heart can take much more excitement and anxiety but I don't think it can take not being near her. I guess I'm glutton for punishment and I don't give a damn.

Ashley leans even closer and…

* * *

**Oooh I wonder what'll happen? O.O**

**Well why don't you decide.**

**Here are the choices:**

**A) Ashley leans in and *fireworks! Song birds! Chorus of angels in the sky with harps!* they kiss.**

**B) Kyla walks in and stops them before anything can happen…aw. *sad face***

**C) Spencer pulls away**

**D) Xander breaks down the door in only his boxers, covered in peanut butter and begins belting out the lyrics to Peanut Butter Jelly Time**

**E) A horde of ninjas attack the place! AHHH—wait what?**

**F) They eat cake **


	14. Kisses, Misses, And Bunnies

**ALRIGHT FINE! HERE IT IS! GAWD! STOP CALLING MY HOUSE AND CHANTING LETTERS LIKE A SESEME STREET EPISODE FROM HELL!**

***takes deep breath***

**In other news: My arm has been yanked clear off my body. I hope you're happy people! When I found it, a rabid chihuahua had claimed it as his deformed wife and now I have bite marks in strange places. Bite marks! I feel violated. *sigh***

**Well enough of my physical and emotional traumas. There is an update to be read.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Ashley leans even closer and…_

**_~(A)~_**

Softly brushes her lips against mine. I think I hear angels singing but I can't be sure. But that's probably the lack of oxygen to my brain due to holding my breath. We haven't moved. Not an inch away in almost a full minute and I'm three seconds away from slapping myself, thinking that this is some kind of self imposed dream.

Ashley pulls away and smiles warmly at me. My stomach flutters and I duck my head shyly. I feel the heat of her index finger trail down my cheek sweetly and hook under my chin, lifting it, eyes flickering softly between each of mine. "It's okay." She softly utters and looks from my eyes for a moment more then dropping down to my lips and back up again before closing her own and leaning forward again. As dumb as it sounds, I gasp at the contact of lips.

There's something so surprising and thrilling at being able to kiss her. I've waited so long for this moment the reality that its happening, finally, is still shocking. I only pause for a few seconds before carelessly throwing out my earlier concerns of kissing her out the window with a messy crash and kissing her back.

She was going to kill me.

And as she tucked my bottom lip between her teeth, nibbling on the flesh I came to the conclusion that that wouldn't be so bad. I'd definitely die happy.

I groaned and cupped the back of her neck and pulled her into the kiss, deepening it.

Her body pressed even closer to mine, her hand resting against my collarbone and the other on my hip, fingers flexing and tightening.

A thumb swiped the skin above my jeans, daring to venture under my shirt and I tightened my grip on her hair, making her moan throatily.

This was amazing and I was an _idiot_. A lovesick idiot.

I turned my head slightly to kiss her at a better angle and she did the same, turning hers the other way. We established the heated rhythm as before and I was so caught up in kissing her that I almost didn't notice the wandering hand that was moving from its warm spot on my hip and underneath the back of my shirt. Almost. Nails teasingly scratched the skin over my spine and I broke away from her to shiver and moan loudly.

I was a little sensitive.

Ashley watches my reaction in awe and does it again. I hated being parted from her and the added sensations to my back were making me feel dizzy with even more sensations to a place even lower. She grinned and smoothes the palm of her hand up to the middle of my back slowly and teasingly, surprising me when she digs her nails and suddenly scraps down. I muffled my cry with her mouth and kissed her hard. Her hand went higher, following the bumpy trail of my spine and stopped when she felt my—

"Oh good, you're practicing!"

WHAT THE_DUCK?_

I jump away from Ashley and find myself falling.

Face? Meet carpet.

_Hello._

I shoot up from the floor, my head reappearing, and eyes wide in horror.

"Spencer you okay? That looked like a nasty fall. I hope I didn't startle you because I was walking in on something I shouldn't have." Her tone was perky. Kyla's lashes fluttered and brown gazed at me innocently, but the knowing curl of her lips gave her away that she knew exactly what had happened. Fudge.

I shake the twinkling stars that were rotating around my head and stand on my feet.

Ashley looks irritated as she glares at Kyla.

"Um no. We were just practicing…like you said." I say. Gotta fake it to make it right? That's what Ashley was probably doing anyway. _Obviously Spencer._ I sat down slowly, when I felt a little dizzy. Ashley crawled over to me and reached to check my head but I scooted away from her. She was driving me crazy and the lingering taste of her grape soda wasn't helping matters any.

Kyla smirks. "Fantastic. Well I just came to ask if you were ready to go home. Andi has to get going and she offered to take you home. Would that be alright?"

I nodded. Sure why not. I liked Andi.

"Oh and before I forget, it's come to my attention that you'll need extra help with your costumes for the play," She paused, probably for dramatic effect while I waited. Why does everybody do that? "So Ashley and I have offered to help!" She announced excitedly. I blinked and slowly frowned.

"What?" "I did?" We ask at the same time.

"Oh don't thank us. It's really no trouble at all." She waved my supposed 'appreciations' off as I stood mouth agape and my face twisted in terror.

_Oh no._

"Really, it's fine." She grinned. I think she was enjoying this way too much while all I wanted to do was shoot myself in the foot. I winced.

She waits for a reply but I stay silent, my left eye twitching ever so subtly.

"Well anywhooo, we'll just go shopping for you and see what we can find around town, maybe at a thrift store or something." She trailed off after this, probably going over potential shopping locations while I was left to internally stew in my utter dread of the whole thing ever happening.

"Ashley and I will talk it over and we'll figure something out. Oh this is going to be so much fun!" She threw her arms around me tightly in her excitement while my chin was hooked over her shoulder and I mouthed "Oh God! Oh God!"

What? I had reason to freak. I _hate_ shopping and a person shopping for me was much worse. I just have an uneasy feeling about this. Or is that just gas?

She bounced a little and finally let me go with an excited squeal and grinned. She was just short of clapping I figured. I pursed my lips and nodded when she let me go, completely awkward with the abrupt physical contact but felt bad refusing her the chance. She was so damn happy. How could I say, "No! Get off me bitch." without coming off as a dick?

No seriously. How do I do that because I would really like to know?

_Finally_, she lets me go and I step back. Ashley slides off her bed and walks over to me.

"Great job today Spencer." She smiles and reaches out to hug me. I keep my expression blank, her words reminding me exactly why I was there. It was only work to her. Well at least I know. I can't be let to believe that anything that happens between us is sincere. It'll kill me if I do. _She'll_ kill me.

"Thanks Ashley. You too." I pat her back awkwardly as I try to keep the physical contact to a minimum. Its not happening. Ashley has made sure to press her lithe body flush against mine. I don't keep it a habit to be aware of how my physical contact looks when I'm hugging another person but I don't think this level of closeness was normal. It was always bend over slightly and a wrapping of arms. Not hip to hip. Chest to chest.

Fuck.

I unwrap my arms from around her and lean my body slightly away from her. She gets the hint and releases me. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Um yeah." I say.

"Thanks for hanging out with me."

"Sure no problem." This was so awkward it was downright painful.

"Well I better," I motion with my thumb at her bedroom door and she nods.

"Yeah."

"Don't forget your script!" Kyla chirps. I resist the urge to roll my eyes but Ashley doesn't seem to have a problem displaying her annoyance with our mutual director. I grab my script from the side table that was on my side of the bed when we were watching the movie and walk past Ashley, Kyla leading the way down to the foray.

I checked my butt pockets to make sure I had everything and waited by the door for Andi. Kyla had made a detour when we reached the bottom of the stairs and walked into the other room adjacent to the stairs, where I'm guessing Andi was.

"Spencer!" I turn my head and watch as Ashley walks down the stairs quickly, thinking I was leaving immediately and opens her mouth and then shuts it just as quickly, almost like she was fighting with herself to say what she wanted. I look at her gently and she says, "I had fun today. We should do it again." I smile at the prospect and open my mouth to answer before she quickly adds, "To rehearse and stuff."

My smile dies a little and after a few seconds I nod.

"Right. Rehearse. You have my number." Why was I being so standoffish? Don't be a prick Spencer! "You can call me whenever, okay?" I even give her a smile to let her know it was alright.

She smiles and nods. "I will."

Andi enters the room, Kyla following close behind and moves the strap of her leather messenger bag over her head and secures it around her neck. "I'll be late to auditions. I have a meeting with a parent that I can't get out of, but I'll be there as soon as I can. Promise."

Kyla sighed but nodded. "Do what you do best. Be charming and smart and witty and I'll see you after your meeting thing." They lean into her each other for a hug but I almost expected them to peck each other on the lips like a married couple. I bit my lip, but smiled anyway. They were kinda cute together. Even though they weren't, well, together. I wonder if they knew how adorable and obvious they both looked.

The older brunette slung her leather jacket over her shoulder. "Alrighty then. We'll be shoving off now. Bye Ash. See you in the morning Kyla."

"Bye Andi!" She waves excitedly. I wave at them both and Kyla smoothly interjects the calm with, "Oh and Spencer too!" Ashley could be seen rolling her eyes and giving her sister a look that said, 'really? You actually thought that wasn't obvious?'

I chuckle and follow Andi to the end of the driveway where a gleaming white car was parked. It looked like an older model but you can tell it was recently restored and well taken care of.

I smile at the pretty car and run my fingers over the side of the vehicle as I made my way over to the passenger side door.

"What kind of car is this?" I ask, opening the door and getting in. Andi looks up from stuffing her bag and coat in the backseat and grins at my question.

"It's a Lincoln Continental Mark V convertible. It was my dad's car."

I smile at the soft tone in her voice and buckle myself in. "It's a really beautiful car."

"Thank you." She starts the engine and begins fiddling with the radio and switches it to an indie station. I smile at her selection. I resisted the urge to run my hands over the wooden dashboard and resigned myself with just sitting still so I didn't look like a nut for fondling her beautiful car.

So I had a thing for pretty cars. Sue me.

Her Abraham Lincoln Martin 4 thingy majiger was a nice machine to look at and that name doesn't even sound remotely close to what she said now that I think about it.

Again. I say I know nothing about cars but Andi seemed to know everything. She was going on about the history of cars in the 60's and how they flourished with the rise of Hollywood. I listened intently and supplied my own opinion or asked a question here and there but let Andi steer most of the conversation. Contrary to what Xander might say, I actually liked listening to other people when they were passionate about something or knew of certain topic in great length. Well unless that person was my mother and she wanted to teach me the finer points of pleasing a man.

Worst. Conversation. Of. My life. Nuff said.

I liked Andi. She was funny and goofy. You wouldn't get that impression of her at first but I was coming to find that impressions kinda didn't mean shit (excluding Patrick because he is and will always be the mayor of Doucheville). When I first saw her at auditions I kinda got the silent and mysterious vibe from her. She was still mysterious just not as silent. Her laugh was full and vibrant, not as beautiful and goofy as Ashley's but she tries, almost hitting the mark. I could definitely see why Kyla was so gaga for her. She was extremely pretty and had this confident swagger about her that was infectious and seductive. Kind of like Ashley, but not.

But let's be honest. No one can really compete with Ashley.

"It's that one right there." I tell her, pointing at the pale blue house.

She parks and turns to me with a smile. "Your stop madam."

I chuckle and thank her. "So I guess I'll go back to calling you Ms. Wyler tomorrow, huh?"

She shudders. "Unfortunately. Makes me feel old whenever the kids call me Ms or God forbid _Mrs_. Don't you ever call me Mrs." She points a finger and glares at me playfully. I laugh and hold my hands up in surrender.

"Cross my heart."

"Good. Now get outta here before whoever's behind that curtain comes out here and pulls a shotgun on me." I look at her horrified as I whip my head around.

_Mom_! You're embarrassing me. Get…_away_. Shoo!

My mother spots us looking at her and quickly ducks behind the curtain, like we hadn't just seen her being creepy.

Ugh. Fail.

"Sorry about that. She's…weird." Yeah there's no being polite about that.

"She's a mom. They all get a little nutty after a while. Totally normal."

"Are you saying she may or may not be insane?"

"No. You said that." She chuckles.

"Details." I wave her off.

"Uh-huh. Are you stopping by auditions tomorrow?"

"Do I need to? I mean, should I?"

She shrugs. "Not really. But I know Kyla would appreciate it, but no, it's not mandatory. Plus Kyla gets bored easy and she actually makes it fun when she's not being grouchy and annoyed at one of the auditionees."

"Sounds pleasant." I reply dryly.

She shrugs. "It can be. But don't feel pressured. If you're able, awesome. If not, it's cool."

"I guess I could swing by for a bit."

"Cool. I'll catch you later Spencer. It was nice talking to you."

"You as well. See ya." I shut the door and wave at her as she pulls away.

I turn back to the moving curtains and roll my eyes as my mother tracks the white car's departure, not seeing me walk up to the front door and open it. I close the door with a flourish and she jumps away from the swinging fabric, fanning it away as it caught around her leg, betraying her as she made to stand a few feet away.

Caught in the act.

"Whatcha doin'?" I ask. My mother smoothes out the wrinkles in her top and looks every bit like the kid who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Oh ya know. Just patting down the dust from the drapes. It's gotten so filthy by the window I figured why not."

"Uh-huh. Is that why the lights magically flicked on once Andi pulled up to the house?"

"Andi?" My mother's tone perked up at the name. I looked at her oddly. "Who's Andi?"

"A friend from school." Which is not far from the truth. She is a friend, I think. She is from school, my new teacher. But relaying that last bit to my mother didn't sound like one of my better ideas.

"A _friend_? From _school_?" Her inflections were freaking me out and I walked backwards to the stairs.

"Yes a friend from school. Can I leave now? I mean, I just have to get ready for bed and stuff…and stuff."

My mother waves me off with a blinding smile. "Of course Spencer."

I take a step up the stairs before realizing the whole reason why I came back early. "By the way when is dinner?"

"Oh you're father had some last minute paperwork to process so he's been up in that dank room since he got home. It's fend for yourself night. There should be some pizza left in the fridge if Glen hasn't eaten it all."

I grumble my displeasure at the lack of family dinner and trudge upstairs.

I unload my wallet and iPod from my pockets and place them on my dresser. I fish my cell out of the pocket in my hoodie and notice that I had a new text message.

I open it and read the message.

**Chelsea: Call me when you get in. Doesn't matter how late. I wanna hear EVERYTHING! Call me woman! XD**

I shake my head at my friend's obvious excitement and punch in her speed dial number.

It rings a few times before I hear panting a dull thud in the background followed by a loud curse. "Okay tell me everything aaand GO!"

I grin. "Have you seriously been this excited to hear about my adventures?"

"Yes. Now spill!"

"Aw. I'm touched. I didn't know you cared so much to be so invested in my life." When wasn't she?

"Yeah yeah love you too now _dish_!"

"Take a breath before you pass out."

I hear a deep inhalation. "Oxygen is flowing. Now will you tell me what happened?"

I smile evilly. "No."

"No? Aw why?" She whined.

"I'll tell you tomorrow after school."

"Why not tomorrow _at_ school?" She pressed.

"Because I don't want to have to worry about people over hearing."

"Oooh is it juicy gossip?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe as in its juicy gossip?" She sounds _way_ too excited.

"If I say yes then can I tell you tomorrow after school without you annoying me about it?"

"It shall be done." She said cheerily.

I sighed heavily. "Then _yes,_ its juicy gossip. Satisfied?"

"Immensely. See you tomorrow Spence." Click!

Sigh.

I hung up the phone and placed the device in its charger and got ready for bed. I took a quick shower, lotioned up, threw on a ratty band tee and boy shorts and jogged downstairs to heat something real quick. There were two slices of pizza left, thankfully and I ate every bite happily and threw my trash away and ran back upstairs. I was pretty tired after today and was asleep as soon as my blonde head hit the pillow.

Wednesdays are depressing. It mocks you with its middle_ness_. It's not near Monday but its not yet Friday either. It sucks.

Though I will say that today wasn't so bad. I successfully avoided Madison for most of the day, but the rumor was that she was on the hunt for me and she was out for blood, preferably mine or Xander's blood, but she wasn't picky. Which was the problem. I didn't have time for her bullshit. I was more worried about avoiding Ashley. For a girl I don't normally even catch glimpses of until lunch or in the few classes that we have together (and even then we never interacted), I was seeing her _everywhere_. I swear it was like she was following me. But that would be stupid. She wouldn't do that. I was only being paranoid, right?

I was being a coward more like. I couldn't face her. Not after yesterday.

I wash and dry my hands, and walk out of the bathroom, heading in the direction of my next class. That is until I saw her. Again.

_Don't look at her. Don't look at her. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't -Gah! She's so pretty._

Ashley turns a little, her head looking in my general direction over the crowd and I panic and make to escape her beautiful eyes and get the hell out of there.

"Spencer!"

Crab apples! She spotted me.

I pause and slowly turn around. Cue awkward wave.

She walks over to me. "Hey Ashley." I reply lamely.

She smiles. "Hey. I was wondering where you had run off to."

"Ya know just running" I make circles in the air with my finger. "…around." …what?

"I mean, I don't run I…walk?" Please someone shoot me. "Around." For the love of Godfrey end my suffering.

Ashley looks amused and I feel my face heat up like an inferno.

Why must I open my mouth? Why must I let words come out? Bad words! Shoo.

I flush at the look of mirth in her eyes. "You're kind of adorable, ya know that? Like a blonde bunny." She giggles. I flush even more.

"I wasn't aware of my fluffyness. I always thought I looked like a dork." I shuffle my feet and hide my blush as best I can behind my hair. Fingers trace up from my jaw and to the curve of my cheek bone, catching hair and tucking it behind my ear.

"There's nothing wrong with that. You're the most adorkable blonde bunny I've ever seen." She says smiling.

"Or that anyone's ever seen." I add.

She chuckles and nods. The look in her eyes is a different one than I've ever seen from her. It was soft but intense at the same time. I felt a flutter in my tummy and a tingle in other southern places at her gaze. She drops her hand and mashes her lips over her teeth. "When did you want to rehearse again?" She asks.

"Oh uh whenever."

"Tonight?" She responds quickly before flinching a little at her eagerness.

I chalk up her eager tone as simply being dedicated to the play and wanted to rehearse as much as possible.

"I can't tonight." I have to meet up with Chelsea. I promised her.

"Oh right. Of course. Tomorrow?" She asks hopefully.

"Tomorrow." I nod with a small grin.

She beams. "Sweet. I'll text you about it later. I have to get to class."

"Oh uh me too."

"Bye Luce."

I watch her leave. "Bye." I say softly when she was already out of earshot.

I shake my head and make my way to class before I'm late again.

As the day progressed I couldn't shake the feeling of tension between my friends. Xander seemed quieter, and silence of any kind was out of character for him. He hated silences. He found them frustrating and made him nervous. He needed to fill the air with laughter. It wasn't an option. He used humor as a coping mechanism for everything. It worried me how he responded to things with an air of nonchalance and fake bravado. Like the whole world was a joke. I understood his need to smile and make others smile as well but it was his lack of taking anything serious that concerned me. However, Xander acting mute was a reason to panic.

Chelsea didn't seem to notice though. Her features stayed blank mostly as her eyes traced the words in her textbook carefully. I looked between the two sitting across from me at the picnic table.

What's going on now? Xander would glance at Chelsea every now and then but would look away whenever I caught him staring. He looked like a kicked puppy. I looked at the girl in front of my as she paid no mind to the lingering stares from the boy sitting next to her.

He looked miserable.

This needed to stop.

"Xander?" The boy picked his head up from staring at the girl next to him.

"What?"

"Can I get a ride afterschool? My car is still dehydrated."

"Uh sure. I guess so."

"I was going to stay for auditions though. Only for a little while. Would that be okay?"

He shrugged lazily. "Beats sitting at home not doing homework."

"Great." I left it at that and our table remained silent for the rest of lunch.

Wednesdays suck.

Auditions were livelier than they were the first day as half of the seats were full of hopeful auditionees. I greeted Kyla when I got there but remained in the back with my sketchbook in my lap so I didn't disturb the creative flow that was circling around Kyla and metaphorically bitch slapping the poor souls that failed their audition.

I sketched for a moment more until mahogany curls caught my eye.

Ashley entered from one of the main exit doors and just like that Monday I couldn't stray my eyes away.

I knew that my staring could possibly be classified as creepy. I wasn't proud of it.

"Hello?"

God she's so sexy. It should be illegal to be that gorgeous and still walk among us common folk.

"Earth to Spencey. Yooowhooo."

Then again that would mean that she would be arrested! Oh my God Spencer! Do you want your future wife to be a felon? Oh the dirty looks your mother would give you during the holidays when you begrudgingly came home for Christmas. Wifeless…sigh. But she is beautiful though. There's no denying that. Sometimes I wonder if she even knows how beautiful she actually is. Has anyone ever told her outright, "Hey, I think you're the most beautiful human being I have ever had the honor of laying eyes upon and I am madly and desperately and in no way creepily in lo—"

**_SMACK!_**

"OW! What the _fuck_?" I rubbed the back of my now throbbing head and glared hatefully at the stupid mother fucker who—oh. It's you.

"That was a bitch move bro." Don't you know it's not nice to hit girls?

"You deserved it _homie_." I sneered at him and picked up my forgotten pencil from the floor. Motherfudgemaker made me drop my utilities. Damn him.

"Jerk." I grumbled.

"Bitch." He threw back, unaffected like he usually was. I almost smiled.

"I'm pretty sure that you're the bitch since you two ditched me for most of the day yesterday."

He sighed but looked away almost guiltily.

"Yeah. Well you're a big girl Spencey. You shouldn't need Big Brother to hold your hand everywhere we go." Damn. Was he irritated or what. What the fuck did I do?

"Shit. What's got your knickers in a twist?"

He sighed again and ran his hand through his hair, which seemed messier than usual.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly.

"No." He mumbled and by the shocked look on his face he hadn't meant for that to slip out.

"You know, just because we dress up this guise like we can't stand each other doesn't mean that I don't care about you." I told him sincerely. I meant it. I'd do just about anything for this guy. He was my bro and as stupid as it'd seem from a third person perspective who didn't know how me and Xander operated, I knew that the sentiment was very much mutual.

"Whatever…" He said quickly, like he just wanted me to drop the subject entirely. I couldn't help but look hurt at his brush off and he sighed and nodded slowly. "I know." He said softly.

"Just sayin'." I raised my hands.

He smiled. "I know."

"So if there's anything you wanna share, feel free to jump aboard the S.S. Tear Jerker. Tickets are paid in pints of Ben & Jerry's."

He laughed weakly and sniffled a little. I don't think I've ever seen him look so…lost. Is that the right word?

"I know Spencer. Thanks. I'm just-I don't know." He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. He was not good with feelings. I got that. But I still couldn't help the slow smile on my face as I supplied for him.

"_Con_fused?" I pursed my lips around a smile and looked away innocently.

He looked down at his laced fingers, his elbows resting on his knees, his head hung low. His shoulders were even sagging. I chewed uneasily on my lip as I watched various emotions play across his face. What was going on?

"Do you…maybe want to talk about it?" I inquired. By the look on his face he wasn't too sure of what he was feeling. Or maybe he knew exactly what he was feeling but didn't know what to do with it. So many possibilities, so little words apparently.

"I do I just- I'm not-" He sighs and his hands clench together a little. "Give me some time okay?" He looks at me, almost pleadingly even though he'd deny that he was. He looked scared or maybe I'm just reading too much into it. I nodded.

"Of course. Take as much time as you need big guy. I'm always here." We smiled at each other for a moment and then simultaneously extend our hands out to each other. "Nerdly hand shake?"

He nods. "Nerdly hand shake." We clasp hands and go through our usual hand routine. We had perfected it during Christmas break last year when Chelsea was away visiting family and Xander and I were stuck with nothing to do all break long. I know. Sad.

We near the end of our complex finger gymnastics and leave off with the grand finale. We bump fists, withdraw back with an explosion of awesomeness and bring the same hand up to the bridge of our noses as if pushing up our thick framed glasses.

I know what you're thinking. How we are not popular is a mystery for the ages.

We laugh and I lean my head against his shoulder as we watched the rest of the auditions. It was at that point that singing was heard.

A redheaded girl was on stage belting out the lyrics to _Rocky Horror Picture Show's_ _Sweet Transvestite. _It was similar to the soulful version in Glee but a little lighter in tone. She was good but why was she singing?

As the last jaw dropping note is sung, I can't help but raise an eyebrow at the sheer volume of her voice.

Um, what just happened?

Xander's jaw went slack. I push it back up with a click without taking my eyes off the stage.

He leans into me. "Am I in heaven because I think I just heard an angel?"

I shrug as my answer.

Who was this chick?

...wait a minute. I know her. She's the girl that totally bitch slapped Mr. Pits with her vicious _vicious_ words. A.k.a. possibly my new best friend but that's neither here nor there.

There was clapping and Kyla spoke once the applause had died down.

"You do realize this isn't a musical right?" She asked.

"I'm aware but I wanted to demonstrate the full range of my talents. There's so many." The girl said.

Kyla shrugged, accepting her response and asked her to run a few lines for her.

I bumped Xander's chest softly and told him we could leave if he wanted. He shrugged and got up.

I stopped him before we could reach the parking lot and told him to get the car started while I got something from my locker. He left and I unzipped my backpack as I walked to my locker to cut down on time.

I got the books I needed and unloaded the ones I didn't and closed the door of my locker, to reveal a tall redhead with a wide beaming smile. I shrieked at the sudden sight of her and nearly dropped my backpack.

"Hi!" She waves.

"Uh hi." I reply uneasily.

"You're Spencer Carlin, right?"

I nodded.

"I'm Amanda. I just auditioned." She stated.

"That's nice." I smile at her.

"I'm going to get the part too. I've been performing for years. I'm a shoe in to win. I like winning. I deserve it after all. I _am_ more talented." And conceited! "I have plans for my life of success and I usually get what I want. I'm the future sorority sister of the many colleges that are looking for me. There's so many, or I'd list them all. But I'll be a future Harvard graduate for sure and a future platinum selling music artist." She smiles big, (almost manically if you ask me) "Oh and future billionaire." She adds with a squeak and takes a deep breath, panting from her excited monologue.

I blink…and then I blink some more.

Ooookay?

_She crazy._

What was your first guess?

_The fact that her left eye keeps twitching. Weird shit man._

"Yeah well congratulations on…those things that you haven't done yet. Great work." I give her a thumbs up and slowly back up. Does anyone else get the crazy chick vibe from her? I get the crazy chick vibe and its making me jittery.

_Be nice Spencer. She's probably a really sweet person. You don't know if she's actually unstable and off her meds. Don't judge._

Ugh! _Fine_.

"Thank you. So where is Misty? I seem to have lost sight of her."

I furrow my brow at her until it finally clicks. "Oh. You mean Ashley. Um I don't know. Auditorium?" She shakes her head. "I have no idea. I'll let her know you were looking for her." I wince and smack my forehead. "So sorry. What was your name again?" I'm so horrible. Way to make friends Spencer. Even if she is disturbingly quirky.

The girl's left eye twitched and her eyes narrowed before shaking off her irritation and adopting a wide smile.

"I apologize. How rude of me to assume that you were actually paying attention in rehearsals." She extends her hand out and I look at her incredulously, already a little put out. I slowly took her hand, which the girl shook eagerly in a tight grip. "My name is Amanda Wallace and I'll be replacing you as Colby in the upcoming school play."

Pausing my hand's movement, I looked at her. "Excuse me?" I blurt out.

"You heard me. Unless you're deaf." She clicks her tongue to the roof of her mouth in a condescending manner. "Well what a pity. That just proves that you're not good enough."

My mouth fell open. Did she seriously just say that?

"Did you seriously just say that to me?"

"Yes. I. _Did_." She enunciates slowly and loudly. She shakes her head. "My my you should really get that hearing of yours checked out. Something might be wrong. Surely you might have some trouble performing." She says with a sick smile.

I gritted my teeth. "I do just fine thanks."

She scoffs. "Yeah I doubt it."

_Oh this shit won't fly. No sir._ "Okay what's your problem lady? I've done nothing to you. I don't even _know_ you."

_You tell her Spencer! Bust her kneecaps! Spencer like a puma! **Rawr**!_

I place my fists on my hips and give her a hard look. "Mind telling me what's with all the hostility?"

"_You're_ my problem. It seems you were wrongly cast. I deserve to play Colby, not you." Amanda looks me up and down with a sneer. "Kyla gives you way too much credit."

"She gives me enough credit. Kyla's a hard crowd to sell and apparently I had my part before anyone else, so suck it." I tell her.

_Okay that was a little unprofessional but great try anyway._

"Was that supposed to scare me?" She chuckles. "I don't get scared."

Do you feel _anything_?

"Yeah well I don't back down. You're a little too late. I'm quite comfortable with the part I have and it's gonna take more than a few bitchy remarks and an unfeeling narcissist to make me quiver."

"Guess I'll just have to try harder." She gives me a fake smile. "Enjoy being Colby while it lasts. Because I'm going to take that part right out from under you. You won't know which thumb to suck first. So suck on that you little cunt." She whispers that last part dangerously in my ear and I feel chills in my spine. Talk about creeper.

"Oh well aren't you a colorful psychopath. Sorry no tears today. But don't you worry. I _will_ enjoy being Colby for the _rest_ of the play." I give her a dirty look and she grabs my arm before I leave.

"You're smug now but just wait. You'll be begging me to take it from you. Be on your toes Carlin." She throws my arm back at me and struts away.

Who the fuck is this bitch?

_An escaping mental patient? With a whale size ego to match?_

Joyful joyful. My life just got a little more dramatic didn't it?

_Yup._

Wonderful.

* * *

**So how'd I do? Think of this chapter as a part 1. I would have added the rest of the chapter but this seemed like a good place to leave off. I was floored by all the love from you guys. I love how involved in the story you guys are. I have to be at work soon so that's the only reason why this chapter isn't longer. I will most likely post tomorrow or the day after. Pinky promise? Also, if you want to know what Andi's car looks like check out my profile for the picture. Thanks for reading guys. Keep the reviews coming and maybe I'll update later tonight. ;D Just saying.**


	15. Peanut Butter Snicker Doodles

**Howdy ya'll! XD**

**I'm really churning these chapters out this month.**

**Also I want to give a shout out to my new buddy SoNfan110! This chapter is mostly for her because she was mumbling incoherently and (whining) wanting(!) her some Xander desperately! lol. Don't worry. He'll be fine. :) Hope you like your love muffins a little nutty. ;) *Lame joke* -_-**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I shook the feeling of dread of ever running into Amanda again and made my way for the parking lot.

Xander's black truck was stationed in front of the entrance of the school. I got in, throwing my crap on the floorboard in irritation.

I mean, how dare she? Was she off her medication or is she normally that insane?

"What's up your butt my little blonde princess? Aw. Did someone take your cookie?" He asks sticking his bottom lip out in an over exaggerated pout. However, and lucky for him, I'm too angry to really care that he was mocking me.

"Remember that redheaded '_angel'_ from the auditions?" I asked using air quotes.

He nods.

"Well I just met her and she's nothing but a redheaded _she-devil_ with a narcissistic streak with plans for my destruction. I mean, what's so great about her? If she wanted the part of Colby so damn much then why didn't she show up for auditions on Monday like I did?"

"After we dragged you there you mean." Xander muttered.

"Who does she think she is? She can't just show up and expect me to roll over simply because she demanded it. Its like she only wants it so badly because I have the part. That's not how it works. I mean it doesn't work that way right?"

"I don't think it does."

"Exactly! She had the nerve to call me a cunt! A _cunt_! What kind of person goes around calling people cunts unless they mean business?"

He shrugs. "No idea. What'd you say to her?"

"I told her to suck it!"

"Right on!" He high fives me.

"I told her to just deal with not being Colby because I had it and I was not budging from the role."

He grins proudly. "That's my girl. I bet that pissed her off."

I nodded vigorously. "Yup. I wasn't going to let her get away with talking to me like that. Bitch don't know who she messin' with. I'll cut her!" That sounded tough right?

Xander laughs loudly as he bangs his open palm against the steering wheel in his excitement. "You'd have more luck irritating her to death." He laughs even more at his joke.

I pursed my lips and glared at him.

"You don't think I won't? I could totally do it."

"Yeah no. Never gonna happen. You'll wind up dead if you tried to fight the Easter Bunny."

"What is with people and comparing me to bunnies? They're not so tough."

Xander laughs again. "Stick to what you do best, okay blondie. Be the best little annoying Barbie doll you can be."

I glared hateful, pointy, stab-happy daggers at him. "Bitch! You did not just call me Barbie."

A small smug grin slides onto his face and I want so bad to…_do_ something really hurtful to his body but I _can't_ because he's driving and I like living. Stupid mortality. "I think I did. Whatcha gunna do about it, huh, punk?"

"Kick you where it hurts the most." I reply with the most sinister look I could muster.

He looks over at me questioningly. "My jawbreakers?"

I made a face. "Gross, no. I was going to say that I'd burn all your vintage Star Wars movie posters, ya know the ones that were signed by the cast and crew and all that fun stuff. Oooh. How do ya like dem apples?"

"Not sure." He says uncertainly, his face screwed up like he was seriously contemplating it, which I doubt he was. "They kinda smell funny."

"I have a lighter!" I warn.

He shakes his head. "Are you trying to make me giggle?"

I huff. This intimidating stuff was hard work.

I sighed slumping defeatedly in the seat. I turn my head to the side to look at him. "Are at least annoyed with me yet? To death perhaps?" I ask hopefully. I was grasping straws. I was so sad.

He shakes his head. "Not really."

"If I poke your arm with my finger relentlessly, will that count?"

"Probably only leave a bruise."

"You're so difficult." I mumbled.

"That's right. Annoy tiny blonde one. Annoy like the wind." He says. "Or try to anyway." He snorts.

I glare at him. "Shut up Xander." I was being serious! Kind of.

"Shuttin' up." He motions with his hand, locking his pursed smile, snorting every now and then.

I grumbled. Why is it so hard to believe that I can be threatening? Buncha meanies.

When we got to Chelsea's place, I made a bee line for her room and barged into her room throwing my shit on the floor in frustration. Arguing with Xander distracted me from my anger for the duration of the car ride but as soon as we pulled up to the curb the events by my locker came flooding back.

"Yeah sure you can come in Spencer." She spoke dryly.

I ignore her though and threw myself into a heated rant not unlike the one Xander witnessed. I told her everything that happened when Xander and I were at the auditions and what followed afterwards.

Chelsea tracked my movements with her brow raised as I paced her room, throwing my hands up in the air angrily at points when expletives just weren't cutting it. I think I even spoke Portuguese at one point.

"Okay Spence. I need you to breathe for me sweetheart." She said grabbing my shoulders gently, forcing me to stop my fiftieth lap around her room.

"I hear you okay. She's sounds rather unstable. How about you go get yourself a glass of water, wash your face and cool down for a second and we'll figure this redheaded situation out later. You can tell me all about what happened yesterday instead. Maybe that'll cheer you up."

I nod my head and Chelsea gives me a brief but tight hug before letting me go so I can calm down.

Splashing some water on my face and taking a few calming breaths helped more so than I thought it would. I was still pissed beyond belief but I didn't want to think about Amanda right now. Thinking about her just made me angry all over again.

Exiting the bathroom, I wondered briefly where my other friend had disappeared to.

I walk past the kitchen and the sight of Xander with a spoon in his hand and steer in the direction of Chelsea's ro—

…I walk backwards, stop and turn my head to the side.

"Xander?"

"Hmm."

I blink and open my mouth, close it, then curl it in mild disgust. "Why are you covered in peanut butter?"

His eyes widen and he covers his hand in front of his boxers with a shriek. "It's not what it looks like!"

I look at him incredulously. "So it doesn't look like your turning yourself into a human sandwich?"

His ears turn red. "Okay so it sort of looks like that but I have a perfectly good explanation for this!"

"Uh-huh." I cross my arms and lean my shoulder against the doorframe of the kitchen. "Oh I can't wait to hear this." I chuckle. _This was gonna be good._ "Well, out with it Nutter Butter."

He frowns embarrassed. "I have a skin…_thing_ and Chelsea said that peanut butter might work. So…here I am." He shrugs his arms.

"And you thought it a wonderful idea to strip down to your skivvies and lather peanut butter all over your body in her kitchen where anyone can simply walk in?"

He pauses and then nods. "Yuh-huh."

"Oookay then." Eyes widen in disbelief. I turn to leave.

"Hey Spence, will you help me—"

"No!"

I don't even want to know what he was going to ask.

My next stop was Chelsea's room. I wonder if she knew exactly what hilarious mayhem was happening in the kitchen.

"Whatcha listenin' to? " I ask Chelsea, flopping myself on her bed and making myself nice and comfy. Mmm. I loved her bed.

"Erykah Badu." She says.

I quirk an eyebrow. "The stripper?"

Chelsea pulls a face. "No. Not the stripper. That was one music video. I knew I was going to regret showing you that."

"Hey. Just be happy you didn't show Xander. I would have slipped in his puddle of drool and broke my neck."

"Well he probably would have looked at her the same way you look at Ashley every single day. So in a way, you're the bigger hazard."

I stick my tongue out at her. "That's mean."

Chelsea clicks her mouse and begins typing something. "It's the truth. Don't pass what you can't catch."

I make a face. "You make it sound like herpes."

Chelsea thinks for a minute before noticing her flaw as well. "Ew. You're right. Let me rephrase. Don't act like an ass if you can't take a swat on it."

"Please shut up."

"Gladly."

I smiled as I thought of the awesome mess that was happening downstairs, as I twirled one of Chelsea's long paint brushes between my fingers expertly.

"By the way, did you know that Xander's turning himself into a human snicker doodle downstairs?"

"What?"

"Go see for yourself."

She looks confused as she turns away from her computer. "What are you talking about?"

I sighed and grabbed her hand tugging her out of the chair and pulled her downstairs."Spencer what—"

We reached the bottom of the stairs and...1, 2,...her jaw goes slack.

"Yup." I say with a nod, smug ass smirk firmly in place. Oh this is gunna be fantastic.

"Xander!"

"I can explain!"

"No you can't! This is the _opposite_ of what I told you to do! In fact, I told you to go get me a Dr. Pepper. Not make yourself into a late night snack!"

"But it was itching." Xander pouted.

Um ew.

Chelsea sighed and pointed upstairs. "Go and clean yourself off. I'll help you after I'm done down here."

Xander's shoulders slump and trudges upstairs with a pout on his face, mindful not to come in contact with anything near him.

I chuckled and shook my head. "I don't think I'll be able to look at good ol' Skippy's the same way again."

"Yeah no kidding." She replies wryly. There was silence for a moment until a slow unhelpful smile slithered onto her face.

I look at her skeptically, but inside I was terrified of what that particular curl of her lips would mean for me. Nothing good, obviously.

Chelsea grins at me, fists in her cheeks, elbows on the kitchen counter. "So…" She trails off, smiling wider at myvisible discomfort.

"So." I repeat as I eye her suspiciously.

"You and Ashley."

"Yes those are nouns."

She grins at my deflection. "So you and her..." She implying something. I narrow my eyes at her.

Stop it.

"Verbs please."

She mashes her lips around a growing smile. "Did you two get up to any _canoodling_ while we were away?"

"Excuse me?" I furrowed my brows and turn and look at her.

"Ya know. Shenanigans. Rough and tumble. The horizontal mambo. Horizontal monster mash. Bumpin' uglies. Boinking. The jiggy jiggy. The no pants dance. Feed the kitty. Rock the Casbah. Bed exercise…_sex_ercise. Fornicate. Acting out a rap song. Happy sheets. The hokey pokey. Hanky panky. The silly slap…."

I look at her... _horrified_.

"Exchanging of fluids."

"Oh my god! How many of those do you have?"

"Oh girl I haven't even scratched the dirty filthy surface." She says grinning like a Cheshire cat.

My eyes cross in annoyance.

"And I can't…_poke_ anyone remember. I kinda lack that particular ability."

"What. You can still…" She makes jabbing motions with her finger.

My eyes pop out in horror and I throw my hands up in frustration. "Oh my god! Would you stop it?"

"Hey. I'm just pointing out a fact…ha." She grins to herself. "Pointing."

"Yeah. You're hilarious." I said dryly.

Chelsea's grin is nothing but smug as she twirls a lock of obsidian hair between her fingers. "I am. Aren't I."

"And vain too." I add.

"But seriously. Was there?" She leans closer.

"Was there what?"

"Was there any _canoodling_?"

"I wish you hadn't learnt that word."

"Spencer?" Chelsea eyes me sternly. "Don't make me list silly words for sex again."

"Is it me or is this an odd conversation?"

"It's both, now answer the freaking question!"

"Holy cannoli you're feisty!" I make my way into the living room and turn to her when I reach the front of her couch.

"Spencer!" She whines.

I roll my eyes and sigh, falling backwards with a loud flop on the couch.

"Fine. There…_may_ have been…_some_ canoooooodling. But that's it! No 'no pants dances' were shot in the making of this lame lesbian porno. Now will you drop it so my face doesn't over heat and catch on fire. I can feel my skin melting over here." I fan my face for emphasis and Chelsea rolls her eyes.

"First off, ew and secondly no way in hell am I dropping it. Your life has seriously become my number one dramedy lately. It's better than TiVo. No offense."

I wave her off and shrug. "None taken." It's kinda true anyway.

Xander comes back down, hair slick and combed backwards and smelling like strawberries, Chelsea's body wash. He's still half naked, his ripped torso gleaming and speckled with water droplets. His jeans hung low on his hips and a V shaped muscle pointing in the direction of his 'that which will not be named'.

I ignore his man-udity, totally unfazed by his six pack, or his well defined shoulders and arms and chuckled when a thought struck me. "Shall I fetch the jelly now?"

"SHUT UP SPENCER!"

I fall off the couch laughing.

Chelsea just stairs at him, mouth hung open a little. I wipe the wetness from my eyes as I chuckle gleefully and look at a gobsmacked Chelsea. I follow her line of sight and furrow my brows. Puzzled, I look back at her and carefully get up from the floor, walk to where she's currently seated and snap my fingers in front of her face. She jumps and says, "W-what?"

I arch an eyebrow at her. Was she really checking out Xander?

_Is she straight?_

Uh as far as I know, yes.

_Then she was checking him out._

Ew.

_Don't judge just because you don't like the manly parts._

Ew. Ew. Ew!

_Penis. Penis. Peni—_

Golly you're cruel!

_Hee._

"What was I saying?" Chelsea asks, finally snapping out of whatever train of thought that was heading straight for Naughtyville. Ah. I know that place well, which means I also know that face she was making even better.

"I'm not sure." I lie. "Something about cake and uh…" I ponder for a second, tapping my chin with my index finger.

Xander's head snaps around to us. "There's cake? Where?"

Of course I was lying. There was no cake. Ha!

"You're incredibly random and a horrible liar." Chelsea informs me with a rather disappointed look. Probably ashamed at my poor skills in deception.

I frowned. "Only with you."

"So what else happened? How'd the kiss happen? Who leaned in first? Did you french? Who pulled away first? Tell me tell me tell me-"

I smush my finger over her lips to halt her insessant and annoying questioning. "One at a time thank you. The kiss…" I took a breath as I thought of what happened yesterday. "The kiss was...it was spontaneous." just the thought of said kiss had turn my voice all dreamy and my expression dopey-eyed.

Chelsea's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, her inner romantic coming out tno undoubtedly hit me over the head with her enthusiasm. "Oooh. A spur of the moment. A lighting of passion. This is awesome! I only wish I had popcorn for this." She tucks herself even further in the recliner, getting comfortable.

"Want me to grab some?" Xander asked her, arching his thumb in the direction of her kitchen. Chelsea nodded and fanned him away to get her some. Xander hopped up from his chair and went into the kitchen.

"But don't you _dare_ go anywhere near my peanut butter, David Alexander!" She threatened.

"Yeah yeah." He hollered back. She focused her gaze back on me, smirking. "You were saying."

I rolled my eyes and continued. "Like I said before, Kyla wanted us to rehearse a little while I was over and we were doing fine until it was time to practice the kissing scene. Ashley was so sweet about it too." I smiled softly as I thought about it. "She was gentle and did the best that she could to make me feel comfortable but I couldn't relax. It was like every nerve in my body was going through a caffeine overdose, I was fidgety and anxious. Every muscle in my body was taut and I couldn't sit still. I can imagine that I probably looked like an addict to Ashley or something."

Chelsea frowned in sympathy as I began ringing my fingers.

"Ashley assured me that it was alright when I told her I couldn't do it, saying that we could just try it later. Though if she knew exactly why I didn't want to kiss her she would probably rethink her statement. I didn't want to kiss her like that. I didn't want her to have to force herself to kiss me. Nor did I want it to be planned and critiqued later on. I always daydreamed that our first kiss would be like it always is in one of those cheesy romantic movies. With the camera circling the two characters round and round slowly as they kissed passionately in the rain or on a pier with the lights of an Italian restaurant out of focus and beautiful in the background. Maybe then a light rain too. There's always rain somewhere." My eyes lost their focus as I watched the bittersweet vision in my head. Blinking, I looked up at Chelsea's soft gaze and turned my eyes away in embarrassment.

"Pretty dumb huh?" I picked at my fingernails, finding their poor condition the most interesting sight.

"It's not dumb Spence. I get it. I'm sorry that you feel that way. It's not fair."

I shrugged. "It's fine. Being with her in any capacity is better than nothing right?" I said, my last statement taking on more than one meaning as Xander came back into the living room, his gait slowing as my words registered with him. He swallowed and shook his head, handing the bowl of popcorn to Chelsea who set it carefully in her lap.

"If you were too nervous to kiss her then how'd it happen?" Xander asked.

"We came downstairs to inform Kyla of our progress and well, I'm not exactly sure how it happened. It just did."

"I'm not following." Xander said.

"Kyla called my name, and then all of a sudden Ashley is kissing me. No warning." Then I smiled stupidly. "Then it was just…wow. I still haven't found a word for it yet."

"She kissed you?" Chelsea asked surprised. I nodded. "Who broke away?"

"We both did. We lasted as long as how lungs would permit."

"Interesting."

"What?"

"Nothing. Its just interesting. Then what happened?"

"We went up to her room to watch a movie on her slidy uppy downy tv thingy." I gestured with my hands to describe it but failed miserably.

"Her what? Did you just make a dirty joke?" Xander asked.

"No. She has alien technology or something. It was pretty cool." Xander's eyes brightened at the mention of gadgets but Chelsea interjected before he could get too excited and steer the conversation away from me again.

"Was the movie good at least?"

I smiled happily and nodded. "We watched Imagine Me & You."

Chelsea looked shocked. "Really? She actually owns that movie?"

I nodded. "Yup!"

"Interesting." She noted.

"You keep saying that."

"Because it's _interesting_. I can't find things fascinating?"

I shrugged. "Well when you make fascinating sound suspicious I worry. After all the shit that's happened lately I have reason to worry about your motives."

"Touché. Now back to the story please. We're getting off track here."

"When the movie was over we…" I bit my lip as heated images assaulted my brain.

"You." She coaxed.

"We kissed." I tell them.

Chelsea smiles. "Just like that?"

"Just like that." I say with a snap of my fingers.

"Two kisses in one night. Spencer that has to mean something."

I shook my head and sighed. "It was just practice. It didn't mean anything to her."

She scoffs. "Yeah and I'm white chocolate." Chelsea said in a tone heavily laced with sarcasm. I glared at her.

"Well are you fat free too?" I threw back.

"You joke but I'm being serious."

"And I'm not? Kyla told us to practice the kiss, ergo we practiced kissing. At no point did Ashley tell me that kissing me could mean anything other than kissing her _fake_ love interest."

"Or maybe she was hoping that you would fill in the blanks." Chelsea offered hopefully.

"And what is there to fill?" I said getting frustrated. "She doesn't want me, Chels. She's most likely straight and she's so far out of my league that I can't see the field she plays on." I sighed, slumping dejectedly in a chair. "It's never going to happen."

"You don't know that. And no offense girl, but you really need to get out of this 'I'm not good enough' mind set. It's kind of a downer and it's so not true. You're hot shit! Any girl would be _lucky _to have your white meat."

I roll my eyes and scoff at her crudity. "Do you have to be so vulgar? And it's fake white meat thank you." I say poking my _vagina_ for good measure. She rolls her eyes.

"Pretend or not you have to believe that you have said meat to do this part justice. Eventually, you're gonna have to get used to thinking that you have a banana split between your chicken legs."

I scrunched up my face. "God, you're gross."

She grins. "I'm blunt. There's a difference."

"You scare my mother."

"I take pride in that."

I laughed.

"I bet you do. She never likes you over there." I tell her honestly, knowing she won't take it to heart.

"I never like to _be_ over there when _she's_ there, but I do it for love. You're welcome by the way." She says airily as she inspects her nails.

"Oh yeah thanks." I reply flippantly. I'm totally kidding. I love her.

"Gee. Your love is overwhelming, really."

"I usually have that affect on people." I say with a grin.

"You wish."

"You're totally in love with me right now." I tell her smugly, winking at her.

She laughs.

"Ha. Now you're dreaming."

"Only of you my little cocoa puff." I reach out to her in an effort to hold her tight and ambush her with tickles, but she retreats and points a finger at me.

"You're deflecting."

"I'm not deflecting."

She stands from her seat. "You're trying to distract me so I won't interrogate you. Well that's not gonna happen missy." She says wagging a finger at me like a scolding parent. "We're gonna see this through if I have to pull teeth and throw a mega fit to make it happen." She even stomps her foot for emphasis. She was pulling all the stops apparently.

"Oooh I'm _so_ scared." I shake my hands in the air in mock horror. She folds her arms over her chest and lifts a dark eyebrow.

"Has anything I've said or done in the last few days given you the idea that I'm kidding?"

I open my mouth, think about it for a second, and then close it. Okay. Now I'm scared.

"Good point."

She smirks, satisfied with my answer.

"When are you rehearsing with her again? This weekend?"

"Tomorrow."

"Do you want to kiss her again?"

I bit my lip, running a hand through my hair. "I wish I could tell you no, but then you'd know I'd be lying." I tell her honestly with a knowing, sad smile.

* * *

**Sooo Spashley will be happening next chapter. Yay! And it's time for a little something extra to make the next chapter fun for me to write and you to read. I made it easy last time since MOST of you chose the obvious choice. But I still applauded those who wanted Xander to bust down the door and make the situation hilarious and awkward. GO YOU!**

**Now! Onto business.**

**What would you like for them to do before or after they rehearse?**

**A) Watch another movie**

**B) Take a dip in Ashley's pool/jacuzzi**

**C) Somehow end up in a hilarious and slightly**_**compromising**_**tickle fight XD**

**D) Just talk and get to know each other a little better**

**I'm thinking of making these 'pick a path' things a normal thing during filler chapters but idk. I just thought it would be fun to see what you guys thought. So move your keister meester! (or ma'am) and click de button! CLICK IT!**

**...please.**


	16. Try, Fight, Or Burn

**Okay so when I said that Spashley would be happening in this chapter I didn't mean that they would finally get together. Just fluffy and/or possible heated moments between our favorite gals. But I'm sorry to say that Spashley will be happening _next_ chapter. _Not_ this one. I know. I suck. I have an excuse though…if that helps. :/**

**So with that said, I wanna apologize now for the _looooong_ ass wait. _So_ sorry guys. Stuff came up and I was so not in the mood to write at all. I recently lost a best friend so it just wasn't in me to be funny and happy and write this story. It didn't feel right or fair for me to be enjoying those feelings when I knew someone I loved dearly wasn't able to anymore. So I battled with myself over that for a while. But uh yeah I'm sure the last thing you want to read is my drama so let's leave the drama for Spencer's mama and a certain redheaded Psycho-Crazy-Bitch-Meany face! -um yeah that chick – heh…coffee ^.^ – Um so yes, that's what I'm calling her when her back is turned and she's miles away from where my vulnerable body is standing. Alrighty! So yes, I think that's everything!**

**No wait. I lied! – bad author! - I'm apologizing now for the angst - sorry! – so please bear with me on this.**

**Um..enjoy!**

* * *

Xander's brow creased as his lips puckered to the side slightly.

"Okay. Am I missing something vital here? Why are you whining about this?" He asked frowning.

I opened my mouth to reply but he shook his head, apparently not finished. "I get it Spence. I do. Honest. I understand how hard it is to be _so_ close and yet so fucking _far_ it hurts to keep stretching your heart out." My heart ached and my nose burned foretelling of tears to come that I didn't even have the energy to wipe away. "But you're worth it Spence." he whispered gently, taking my clammy hand inside his larger one. "You're _so_ worth it. You're worth loving and knowing. You're worth having and holding. But being worthy doesn't make it hurt any less, does it?"

I shook my head frantically. I was hanging on every word. He was getting emotional and serious right now and I knew then and there that I was incredibly screwed. David Alexander had a way with words that spoke so deeply with anyone that listened. When he wanted to be honest he always hit a cord and strummed it beautifully.

So, you see, I had no choice. I was pulled into his words and as his voice swam between my ears and drowned out everything else, I listened and waited to face the music.

"_Knowing_ you're good enough hurts worse." My throat closed as I nodded weakly. "_Knowing_ you could be that _one_ _great_ _guy_, or _gal_," He said firmly, nodding his head as he affirmed every word. "but not being recognized for it. It cuts you. It burns something inside that you wish wouldn't leave a scar but you know it will. You're pretty sure it will."

I swallowed thickly then. "What's your point Xan?" My voice tight with unshed tears. I didn't mean to interrupt but his truth hurt. It hurt badly.

He looked me in the eyes, darting between each pupil, looking for signs of a wayward thought. He seemed to find none and continued. "You've waited so long for a chance like this, Spence. To be this close to Ashley Davies and get to know her. You've talked with her, laughed, bonded but you're acting like it's the worst thing that could have ever happened."

My breath hitched. I didn't mean for it to look that way. It just hurt so bad to be so close. It was like holding your hand over an open flame and knowing that you should pull away before it finally singes. Before it scars the flesh and cracks the surface; holding it longer than what a simple shower of cold water can soothe. You wanted its warmth, its caress but no matter how much you prepared yourself for the possible sting your heart never anticipates the heat. The burn.

"You've wanted what you thought you'd never have and now that you're so close to it you'd rather run as far away from it as possible. _That_, I don't get." He shook his head. "I'd be _fighting_ for this. I'd be insuring that whatever I was to her, whether I on-ly," He stopped, clenching his jaw tightly and swallowed, his eyes glazing over with pain. "If...I was only the friend to her or something more I would be the best thing for her. I would be there for her no matter what shade of glasses she wore when she looked at me." His eyes softened. "I'd be hers." He whispered so softly and with such raw sincerity that my nose burned even more. "I'd be hers, whether her heart finally saw me or not. Completely….because… she'd be it for me. _She's_ it." His voice trembled slightly before he clenched his jaw again to the point of where it looked like it hurt.

I watched him, considering his faraway look. After a moment or two he blinked away whatever _bitter_sweet reverie he was in and shook his head, finally ridding his cluttered mind of whatever he was stuck on.

I felt a tear freefall from my eye. He's hurting just as badly as I am...isn't he?

_God_. How have I not noticed before? I know he's like talking to an adorkable rock when it comes to feelings but I should have caught this! What kind of bro am I?

But what can I do to make it better? What can I do to make him stop hurting?

If only I had the answers…for both our sakes.

I didn't even care that I was crying. What was the point? My heart was breaking.

Let it crack.

"So wha –," My voice caught in my throat and I swallowed painfully. "…what do I do?"

Xander blinked. Coming back to reality and the very real situation we were facing. His pained expression disappeared, going blank and then turned serious as he looked me in the eyes. Like he didn't really know how to answer correctly, but he knew what I needed to be told. I held my breath.

"You _fight_." He said with complete resolution. "You make your _heart_ fight for this. You want her?" I nodded. "Then fucking act like it Spence. You love her." I nodded again even though I knew he wasn't really asking. He knew I did. "Then don't be afraid to. Love her with everything that you have and more. You're pretty much there anyway. I know it hurts. I know the situation you're in isn't ideal. But it's more than you had before this all started. Next time you see her, don't hold back. Or rather, don't be afraid to let yourself go in the moment. If she's looking at you dead on," He motions his hand between our direct line of sight. "don't look away. Smile at her. Stare back. Wink at her. Do _something_! Be forward. Fucking _challenge_ her to look away first."

He's crazy.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm serious -"

"I know! That's what scares the shit out of me."

"Love's a beautiful scary bitch." He smiled softly. "It wouldn't be terrifying if it wasn't so important."

I looked at my fingers as they fiddled with the frayed seams at the end of my hoodie's right sleeve, feeling infinitely small against the weight of this conversation. "I just don't want to get hurt." I said quietly. "I think it's the apprehension of getting my heart broken that's so scary. Knowing it might come, that it's a real possibility." I nodded sadly at the thought, agreeing with myself.

He tipped my chin up gently and looked at me softly, shaking his head. "But it's not the only possibility Spaz."

I almost smiled at his nickname for me. Almost.

"Yeah but -"

"Just," He held up a finger to stop me. "Go with me on this. No more second guessing. You want her. Go get her." I looked at him skeptically, like it was just that simple. "Hate to sound like a parent trying to get you to eat your green beans but," He shrugged. "You won't know until you try."

I sat there as I thought over everything he told me. It seemed like so much information all at once, but the underlying message was very simple.

Try.

Xander's last words echoed in my brain as I sat silently in Chelsea's living room, gripping my best guy-friend's hand like it was the only thing keeping me from drowning.

"_You'll never know otherwise, Spence."_

The rest of the night was pretty hazy. I don't remember much of it to be honest. The only thing I do remember was the unnerving silence between the three of us. Which never happens. Ever. We're the obnoxiously loud group of friends that you can't stand. We're the type of bunch that you hate to be around when you're not having such a good day because we never shut up and we never drop our deafening volume even below a decibel once we got going. Xander and I exchanged random comments about the show we were watching but nothing more.

But one image that stuck in my brain and wouldn't leave was Chelsea. The girl was oddly silent after Xander and I finished our heart to heart. Not even a peep. But that wasn't even the weird part. Poor Chelsea looked so confused for some reason. That worried me. Chelsea was never confused about anything. She was the kind of person that if she didn't know something or felt like the facts she was presented with weren't adding up, then she would be out looking for those answers until she was satisfied with her new information. She didn't pussy foot around anything. She was direct, straight to the fucking point with a mental cleaver in one hand and slicing the useless bits of information as she saw fit, which freed up a lot of time when you thought about it. Because instead of poking at the question you wanted to ask and wondering what to do with it, she rolled her eyes and went straight from point A to point B.

Which is pretty much how I am. I poke answers out of you and pray that I don't suffer from carpal tunnel or my finger hasn't fallen off by the end of your torturous interrogation. I'd be all, '_Please be annoyed with me already!' _ I have my blunt moments, sure. Though I'd be lying if I said I had them before I met my friends.

They both brought out the fighter in me. The girl that took crap from no one. The girl that saw what she wanted and worked her ass off to get it until it was gleaming in her hands…though…I suppose I haven't been that girl recently.

So I guess that's it then...

I'm gonna go get the girl of my dreams.

...and then I'm gonna ask if she'll have me.

I'm crossing my toes that she'll say yes...

* * *

**Again. Angst. Blech! Sorry about the lack of Spashley and fluffyness. But I honestly think the chapter was needed. Spencer needed a wake up call****. Kinda unsure how the chapter came out but I couldn't do much more with it after I had it down. *le shrug***

**This time, I pinky promise, cross my heart, eyes and toes that there will be oodles of Spashley next chapter. For real this time! *pinky!***

**Ooh! Before I forget. Do you want to see Ashley's POV sometime soon? Or would that throw you off and make you dizzy? I have that chapter pretty much done but was wondering how the idea would be received.**

**HELP WANTED: If anyone is ****possibly ****interested in helping me create a cover art for the playlist I'm making for this story, feel free to PM me. **

**Sooo...questions? Comments? Anyone? ;)**


	17. Playground Romance

**So I'm back. No angst in this one. I promise. Lots of Spashley fluff and a more determined Spencer.**

**I wanna thank a few special people for their support...**

**SoNfan110: You're so amazing even if you are an old fogey. ;) Give your army of dogs my love!**

**ChedderCheeseLover21: Thanks for making me laugh and being super adorable and cheesy. ;D**

**momo0424: Thanks for all the sweet, honest words and talking with me so late in the night that sometimes you fell asleep by accident. Miss you girl.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SoN. It belongs to Tom Lynch and The-N. [Insert clever quip here]**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Xander drove me home after watching the fourth Looney Toons rerun in silence. After watching Wile E. Coyote fall off a cliff and get smooshed by a boulder a thousand times while sitting silently and stiffly in a room with _those _two, I was pretty much done. Not even Bugs Bunny, bless his little furry bum, could smooth out the rough, tense muscles of everyone sitting around the TV. No matter how effortlessly he tried to be awesome. Sigh.

I look up at the ceiling, counting the many glow in the dark stars I had stuck up there. I kinda haven't grown out of them and to be perfectly, shamefully honest, I don't think I ever will. Movie posters and band concert promotions were taped above me, the stars glowing in random places, sometimes strategically right beside a particular movie star's smile ( i.e. Amanda Bynes on the She's the Man poster) that I happened to like. It took me hours to get the ceiling to look just right. I remember I nearly lost an eye when I dropped one of the thumb tacks and it pricked the flesh at the corner of my eye. I was an inch away from blindness I tell you! But really, what's a little temporary (or permanent) blindness in one eye for the sake of having an awesome looking ceiling to gaze upon whenever you get incredibly bored?

Necessary. That's what.

Like now for instance.

Of course, right now, I wasn't so much bored as I was contemplative.

Xander gave me a lot to think about...

A whole fucking lot. But he was right though. About all of it. If I wanted Ashley then I needed to start acting like it. I needed to start believing that it was a possibility. But first, I needed to see if she could ever swing that way and preferably in my direction. That's something to start with.

I was going to see this thing through if it killed me. I was going to banish the mentality that nothing would ever happen and any time spent with her was excruciating. Because that's not romantic, and it's certainly not helpful and …its kinda emo.

Nothing about those results inspire much fuzzy feelings. So change, I figured, was in order.

_Big_ changes…Okay maybe not that big but things will be modified if need be.

Ugh. It shouldn't be this hard. I knew what I needed to do: get the girl. But it was the how that I was having trouble with.

Oh lordy. I'm thinking too much again. I need to stop that. Over thinking shit will only lead me to second guessing myself and I want to avoid that as much as possible. Second Guesses should be all the way to fucking Denmark by now.

How should I go about it though? Should I tell her out right?

"Ashley hi! How are you? I love you! Love the skirt. How's the sis?"

…face palm.

Maybe I should just be suave about it. Not even bring it up. Advertise myself. Let her know I'm desirable and possibly interested. But nonchalantly! And be all, "Oh hey Ashley...nothing much...just sittin here being ridiculously smexy and awesome. Yeah don't mind me. Just sitting here...being cool. Nice skirt. Love the face and -"

Yeah no. Just…no.

That was a train wreck as soon as I imagined myself in a Greaser leather jacket and a toothpick between my lips.

I'm making this more difficult than this needs to be.

"Ugh!"

Damn my romanticism. All it does is make my head hurt and my Thinker cringe.

_It's painful how desperate you are._

Not helping. What am I going to do?

_Flowers are always a nice gesture._

The next morning…

Ugh...gurgle ugh. Wha-what time - is it?

?...?...!

Holy fuckle berry is that the mother fucking _time_?

I'm late! I'm late I'm late I'm - ow. Stupid sheets. I command you to unwrap from my leg this instant! Damn your velvety softness.

I should have left the house to walk to school _ten minutes _ago.

Fuck fuck fuck! What am I going to wear? ...Holy hell I'm meeting with Ashley after school! Oh my God what am I going to _wear_? I _must_ look pretty for my future wife.

Wow. Since when did I care so much about what I looked like?

Weird.

Oh right more expletives. _Fuck a duck!_ I'm late!

I need help. I need a ride. I need... I need a man.

Oh God that sentence sounds all shades of wrong coming from me. Yughk!

One freak out later...

_**Dial tone...**_

"Please tell me you can pick me up." I pant into the receiver.

"Um I can - pick you up? You're like 190 right?" He's laughing and I wish he was standing right next to me so I could punch him in his stupid face!

I narrow my eyes. I'm stressed.

"Fuck you! And noooo I'm not 190. I'm- _grrr!_ That's not important right now! I need a ride. Please. I over slept and I'm already stressed out enough because of Ashley and I can't be tardy again or I'll have to serve detention and my mother is going to kill me. And hell! She's going to butcher my truant ass and I can't die, Xander! I just finally found my lady balls! I have to tell Ashley how I feel and make babies and get married in Disneyland and -"

"Oh my God! _Fine _I'll come and get you. Just...stop talking!"

"Thank you. You're wonderful. Such a huge butt saver."

"Uh let's just leave it at thank you before you make this conversation weird."

"You got it."

"You almost ready?"

"Um... am I ready?"

I look down at my bare legs and my Donald duck boy briefs.

"Um define ready."

"Please don't make me. Just - gah! Thoughts! Um call me when you're uh when um...just hurry up! -CLICK-"

Well that sure was rude.

I had less than twenty minutes to get ready. So much for looking fancy. How am I supposed to win over Ashley if I look like I just rolled out of bed, which I did, ten minutes ago. I need a plan of attack. Maybe I should bring the make up with me. Nah. You have enough time to apply some eyeliner and find something decent to wear. Just stick with that. If you have enough time to do something...spiffy with your hair then that's alright too. That sounds pretty easy to follow.

But first... I need pants.

* * *

Okay this is just ridiculous! I know I'm not what you'd call the sanest individual but this takes the cake. I'm being followed. I know. It sounds crazy but its what's happening. Right now. At this very moment.

Paranoia is not the most flattering color on me I'm discovering. It did nothing to compliment me, and oh look, that adorable manic look in my eyes was starting to look a little too glassy.

But seriously.

All day I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that I was being watched. I'd be rounding the corner all la-dee-da and blissfully oblivious to most of my surroundings as my purple earphones blasted the upbeat melody that I was engrossed in - and then _blam!_ - my Spencer-Senses would be going crazy. Pinging off the charts so bad, you'd think Elton John was a man sized blip on my GAYdar screen. I'd swivel around like a tool and, of course, there would be no one there. Well, no one that was glaring laser beams at me. And certainly no one wearing a suspicious looking overcoat + fedora + shades combo. That would just make my life too easy right? My imagination was beginning to screw with my reality.

And losing my shit so early in the day and before I've gotten to see Ashley was not an option.

With that stubborn thought in mind, I shrug my paranoia off and continued on my merry way, though with only one earbud in this time. By the time I reached my next class, I had just finished the song I was listening to and another one started up. My thumb hovered over the pause button as my head picked up, and just like everyday my eyes sought out chocolate brown. It was pure instinct. I don't even realize when I do it now.

And I also tend to fail to realize when a glance over exceeds an appropriate time limit, which means I was staring.

Thankfully, I was snapped out of my gooey-eyed trance when the next song on my iPod began its introduction with a high pitch note that made my ears ring painfully.

Oh crap that was too close. And _jeez_ was it stupid.

I was getting way too obvious with my leering. Not that I wasn't before, but I think stopping in the middle of the doorway to stare at a girl with the most surgery of glazed over expressions anyone could ever wear might possibly classify as either creepy or really gay, and since I'm most definitely one of those things it's not that hard to figure out why I was doing it. Shaking myself out of my thoughts and giving the rather annoyed student behind me an apologetic look, not realizing that I had a disgruntled line of bodies behind me, I took my seat quickly, ducking my head the whole way there. Exactly how long was I zoned out for?

I raised an eyebrow as I thought about it...on second thought...maybe its better that I don't know. Save myself the mortification.

I reluctantly looked up from staring holes into the table and saw that Madison was glaring at me. My brow went higher.

For the love of chocolate, what did I do now?

'What?' I mouthed incredulously.

Her eyes flickered to Ashley for the briefest of moments, narrowing murderously. I frowned at this, more than a little concerned at the venomous look Ashley was getting. Was this one of Madison's pissy days? Ya know, that special miserable day(s) where Mother Nature likes to wreak red havoc on a girls nether regions.

Bitch.

I meant Mother Nature not Madison.

...although...

I shook it off immediately, hoping Madison wouldn't bring it to everyone's attention just how closely I was studying Ashley. Its something she would do. Flaunting my sexuality like it was my dirty laundry and not simply a means of how I love a person. She had always made me out to be the scourge of this school. I was lucky that Chelsea and Xander were one of the few that never listened to the masses. They never really were one for politics and I'm grateful that they stuck by me through all of Madison's bullshit.

One day I hope she realizes just how much of the world she's missing out on while she watched the world carry on through such a narrow view. Its not much of a life when you're watching it all play out through a straw. You miss vital happenings and key opportunities.

When I think about it like that I kinda feel bad for her. That's no happy way to live. Unless blissfully ignorant is her mantra, then I say to hell with ya.

I felt a tickle in my pants pocket signaling a text message. The teacher was still engrossed in her task of going over today's lesson plan so I figured it was safe to check.

**Future Wife: Do you need a ride after school?**

_No Spencer that was not a euphemism for anything naughty and otherwise delightful. Down girl._

I restrained my bottom lip between my teeth, hoping that the increasing pressure applied to it would hopefully keep me from smiling.

It didn't work.

Crackers.

Giving up fighting my excitement I settled for a side smile. At this point Ms. Hughes could forget about having my complete attention, which I felt a little guilty for since I actually liked her. She was one of the nicer, and more mentally stable teachers I had this year so I made it an extra effort not to get distracted in her class. Oops. And as I slowly licked my bottom lip in an attempt to sooth the now reddened flesh, my mind raced with possible responses, some naughtier than others and a few that were just downright delicious – I mean _bad_. Bad thoughts! Shoo!

After punching in a few words and then deleting them a million times I gave up on extravagance and wit and wrote a response and then sent it.

**Me: That sounds nice. Thanks.**

**Future Wife: (:D) Sweet. Meet me outside Andi's classroom after school. Do you know where its at?**

**Me: Yup.**

**Future Wife: Awesome. G2g. btw you look nice today. ;)**

O.O

S-she winked at me. Is she being flirty? Like flirty ...with me? Oh the butterflies in my tummy just made babies.

**Me: =D**

* * *

Stupid thesis essay. And stupid Mr. Pitts for suddenly growing a pair and punishing us like he always dreamed of doing.

Stupid jerk.

The Library was the perfect place to work on it but I was finding it hard to focus on anything for too long. My thoughts would just drift right back to visions of Twix bars and Ashley Davies. With such a sinful combination as that it's totally not my fault why I wasn't able to concentrate.

The various dirty images that assaulted my brain were a pleasant welcome at this rate. I watch with rapt attention as dream Ashley slowly sucked on a Twix bar, her pink tongue sensually curling around the sweet candy.

Oh God. I felt my heart thunder in my chest and my hands shake a little as they rest on the keys, Thesis paper be damned.

"Hey Luce." Her voice breathed into my ear, warm air caressing the lobe and making my spine tingle-

My eyes snapped open.

"Oh sh-!"

Ow. Why do I always end up falling on my ass around her?

_Because you're a dork._

Ashley giggled softly and helped me up, carefully guiding me back to my seat like I was the elderly.

"Are you okay?" Her voice cracked on the last word as she tried to look serious, her nose scrunching together adorably.

"Yeah my pride broke my fall. Though I think its a little worse for wear now."

"You're fine. I don't think anyone saw if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm okay. Butt hurts though." I groaned softly as I rubbed my glutes soothingly. Ashley didn't respond I noticed though her eyes did look a little different. Darker kinda. Hmm.

A few seconds later she blinks and clears her throat softly. "So uh what are you working on?"

"Stupid stuff." I grumbled, glaring at the computer screen. "Mr. Pitts gave us disciplinary work because he's a boring spineless rubber chicken and he's mean…jerk."

"Oookay?" She grins uncertainly. "So what stupid stuff are you writing about?"

I groaned. "I don't even know. I tried thinking of an idea but the only effort I made so far on the computer is stabbing the escape button violently." I frowned. "Except I'm still here...stupid misleading keyboard." I mumbled darkly.

There's an amused chuckle from next to me but I'm too busy glaring at my computer screen with pure hate to pay it much attention. Wait a second...

I glanced at Ashley curiously. "What are _you_ doing here?" I asked, finding it odd that she was here in the Library. I'm usually here during my breaks to work on school work if I'm not hanging with my friends but I've never seen her here before. She's kinda hard to miss.

Ashley looked away then, smiling somewhat shyly as I noticed her cheeks and the tip of her nose turn the slightest shade of pink. I internally cooed at her. So adorable!

"Um I was just looking...for something." She looked around and slowly a grin appeared on her face. Turning to me with a poorly veiled look of triumph. Her fingers curled around the spine of a random book lying forgotten on the floor and picked it up and presented it to me. "A book to be exact."

I quirked an eyebrow incredulously at her response, chuckling softly. "Well Ms. Davies, you came to the right place."

"Oh please, darling, call me Ashley." She said her tone taking on an aristocratic charm. "None of this _Ms. Davies_ business. Puh! Only my slaves refer to me as such."

"Oh. How fortunate for me then." I giggled.

"Yes yes. Quite." She was laying it on thick. God I love her. No really. I love her.

I giggled some more.

"God you're cute." I muttered without thinking while shaking my head.

"Yeah?" She inquired softly, ducking her head as she looked at me through thick lashes.

Shit did I say that out loud?

"Yes." Ashley looked thoroughly amused. I wanted to sink into a black hole and disappear forever.

Fuck my wife - _life_! I meant life! Shut up brain!

_You shut up._

"Ugh my brain!" I groaned as I covered my face with my hands.

"Aw poor baby."

I mumbled unintelligibly as I began typing my name and the date at the upper right hand corner of the document. Stupid labels. I was going for a distraction but the slight movement at the corner of my eye proved to be even more distracting.

_Are you even trying?_

Not the point.

_Um. Isn't it?_

Zip it.

"So," She drawls, gaining my attention. I turn to her again. "What's with you and Madison?"

I looked at her confused as I tried to understand what she meant by that. "I give up. What's with me and Madison?" Is this a game? Are there rules? Do I get a prize if I answer correctly? I'm bad at these things.

"I don't know." She says, her index finger tracing the well worn backbone of the book. "You guys just seem…" She trails off like she can't exactly describe what's on the tip of her tongue. I lean closer getting sucked into the conversation. I was really curious as to what she was getting at, but, also, I was dreading what she had to say for some reason.

"Tense." She finishes.

I snort. "Well, yeah, she hates me." Understatement of the century.

She shakes her head. "No. She doesn't."

I look at her skeptically nodding my head slowly in the affirmative. "Nah. I'm pretty sure she can't stand me."

Ashley shakes her head again. "I don't think she does. I –" She stops, looking like she was saying too much by her expression. She looked up from her book and directly at me. I didn't dare look away. Though I probably would have had it not been for Xander yesterday.

She seemed to make a decision and finally swallowed softly, her throat bobbing adorably. "I think she likes you."

I blinked…and then I nearly fell out of my seat…or… I would have had I not been sitting down already and was white knuckling the bottom of the chair. She – Mad – wait what?

"What?"

She shrugs like it's no big deal when in actuality its fucking _enormous_ …like a whale…an _obese_ whale!

"I think she likes you." Her lip stuck out a little and her brow furrowed just the tiniest little bit. I'm not weird that I notice these things. "She stares at you like she wants to eat you when she thinks you're not looking. But once you begin to look up she immediately glares because she already knows you know she's looking at you. So she gets away with her ogling the only way she can; by pretending to loathe your very existence." My mouth fell open, disbelievingly. That doesn't even make any sense. Ashley must read minds because the next words out of her mouth before giving a noncommittal shrug are, "its common playground romance."

I frowned…_deeply_ at this. Well fuck me sideways and call me Craig. "What if I don't like having my hair pulled." I said with a pout.

She looks up at me. Her eyes smoldering. "Then I guess …you're gonna have to settle for someone much nicer on the playground." She says, giving me the tiniest of smiles.

I smile softly nearly having the urge to duck shyly behind my hair, nodding gently. "Sounds like a much better option."

"I agree." She smiles.

"But," I lick my lips, suddenly feeling a burst of courage. "I don't think I'd call that settling." This was it. I was going to go for it. I was going to let my heart dangle from my sleeve and watch what happens. I was making my move. Check.

Her smile grew.

"What would you call it?"

Finding you. "Fi –"

"SHHH! Be _quiet_. This is a library girls. Not a Starbucks. Take your teen problems outside if you must." The old smelly librarian, the one that I have never liked, gives us both stern glares and walks off. I gape at her, astonished.

Really? You pick now to scold us. Worst timing ever lady!

"Well that was anti-climactic." Ashley muttered.

I nodded, agreeing with her.

"Yeah no kidding." I muttered.

"What were you going to say?"

I shook my head, suddenly feeling hesitant. "It's nothing. Never mind." The timing was ruined. It wouldn't carry the same power it did before.

Ashley smiled and cupped the side of my neck and gently swiped her thumb over my collar bone. The shivers came before I could stop them and I willed myself not to clench my eyes shut and bask in them.

Ashley bit the corner of her lip and smirked. "I'll see you after school." Her hand fell from around the side of my neck and I was cold. "Later Luce." She wiggled her fingers at me in farewell and walked away.

Just one more period to go and then I'd make my move.

I just hope it would stick this time.

Here's hoping.

* * *

**To be continued…Will Spencer get the girl? Will she finally come up with a plan that works? Tune in.**

**Question for you guys! What would you guys say to Ashley having her own POV soon? Good idea? Terrible awful idea? Let me know and show me your love.**

**- Lil' Miss**


	18. Ice Ice Baby!

**Sorry for the delay guys. Ya know, school, work, rent, life. Glee. The usual.**

**I'm slightly nervous about posting this chapter (even though I'm proud of it) I finally got my very first bad review on one of my other stories and was feeling unconfident about my writing in general. But then I listened to some happy music and talked to a good friend that helped me through my funk and voila! Here I am! What are your other two wishes? Lol. No I kid.**

**Anyways I hope you love.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Holy freaking moly...

I'm finally done.

Yay.

Stupid Pitts. I swear the next time I see that man I'm going to...uhm... well I'll just push Xander into him and pray that that evil sweaty man falls on his face... while I conveniently flee the crime scene in an oh so unquestionable manner. Yup. Ooh! Maybe I should put bologna slices on his car. Lord knows that that's probably an improvement to the beat up, rusty green station wagon.

I hear them suckers are a bitch to peel off the car, if left on there for awhile the paint just slides right off with it. Hee hee.

Justice!

Or, ya know, revenge.

Eh, either works for me. Hee. Yay and I'm smiling again. That perked my spirits right up. Almost made me forget the stink eye that's practically been stabbing my body for the last twenty minutes. Almost. Key word right there.

It seems I have a stalker. And not the flattering kind where they're creepy and take pictures and make shrines from the previously disposed items from your garbage bin. No I get the crazy bitch with the red hair that probably wants to ruin my life. Like I didn't already have enough crazy to deal with. I.e. Madison.

A sigh left my lips as I saved the document to my flash drive and stuffed the little gizmo in the side pocket of my bag and zipped it closed. I gave a firm little yank on the zipper to make sure it was really and truly locked in there. I'm actually pretty proud of the paper I wrote. The quality is worth at least a B+ if not higher. Satisfied that my work is finally done, I pack the rest of my stuff and stand up slowly with a soft groan. I stretch slightly and smile when I think about what's going to happen now that school is almost over.

And of course my brain goes immediately into happy dreamy chocolate covered Ashley land - I mean ...what?

I shake my head roughly, making my lips wiggle as I do.

...um anyways... I sling my bag over my shoulder and turn to the beloved Mrs. Donnelly as she scowls at each and every student who dares to walk by her counter. Ah. Sweet old Mrs. Donnelly, oh how I hated that woman's guts.

Though even her murderous glares couldn't shake my excited smile. Nope. Sorry lady. It's not budging. So ha!

I even make it a point to smile pleasantly at the woman who equally detests my innards as I passed her. The result summoning a not so pleasant growl from her lips as she watched me practically skip out of the Library. Of course she barked at me to stop my frolicking, saying that this was a Library not a wheat field.

Hee hee. Me no listen.

* * *

It's the last bell of the day and I'm walking to where Ashley texted me to meet her. I should probably tone down the excited smile on my face but it's stuck and won't leave.

I spot Ashley's red car right away. It was like spotting a stripper at a convent. It was totally out of place with most of the cars parked around it. Ashley's leaning against her car, looking intently at the gate entrance of the school, probably not figuring I would take the back way and would be coming from the other direction.

"Ash!" I yell.

Ashley turns her head curiously in the direction of where her name was called and a beautiful smile blooms across her face when she sees me, making her whole face light up.

Wow. Did I really do that?

I instantly melt at her smile as I walk over to her.

"Hey you."

"Hey back." I say somewhat shyly as I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Haven't seen you in a minute." Ashley says smoothly, her nose scrunching up the slightest bit as she got closer to me and stopped.

Really? Because it felt like a life time.

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah. Lead the way." I follow her to her car and I look at her surprised when she opens the door for me. Again. This time she's not smiling smugly at my shocked expression. Its much more softer. Gentle. I like it.

I smile widely at her as I get in. She closes the door and walks over to her side, getting in.

"Hold on tight Luce. Wouldn't want you falling on the floor board again."

I laugh sarcastically. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

Her smirk has my insides wiggling in pleasant anxiety, "Not a chance." She says with a playful wink.

Sigh...I'm all melty inside.

Wait...I should be afraid of that smirk!

She's laughing as she speeds out of the parking lot, while my poor heart was left somewhere on the asphalt since it jumped out while I was screaming bloody murder.

* * *

We screech to a stop in her long ass driveway - _AAAAAAHHHHHHhhhh-_-oh we're here. And-and I'm alive!

I snap my head to look at her, eyes wide and mouth agape. Cue the yelling.

"How _the hell _did you get a license?"

Ashley grins at me almost bashfully from the driver's side. "Would you believe me if I said I bribed my driving instructor?"

I eye her incredulously. "Did you?"

Ashley's sexy, but crazy...and yet I still find her to be absolutely perfect. God what is wrong with me?! This chick is going to kill me!

"No. I got mine fair and square. Cross my heart." She says brightly.

"Yeah well I think my heart was left in a bloody heap at school." I held my hand to my chest as I caught my breath, a horrified knocking was felt behind my palm. Wait -nope. Still there. It's a miracle!

Ashley scrunched her nose in slight disgust at the imagery. "Gross."

"That's what your driving does to me!" I say defensively, dropping my hand.

"I'd much rather be doing other things." She murmurs with a small smile.

My ears perked up curiously. "What?"

"What?"

"...what?" I swear she said something. "Did you say something?"

She shakes her head. "Nope." She unbuckled her seatbelt and opens her door. "Come on slow poke."

"Right." I unclench my unforgiving grip from the handles above the door and shakily get out of the car.

* * *

"I'm just going to change into something comfy, okay? Then we'll figure out what to do after."

I nod and follow her up the stairs and into her room.

She cringes as she slowly opens the door and I wonder why she looks hesitant to show me her room...

Oh...that's why.

Clothes are littered in piles at various places in the room...drawers are pulled open and the contents of which are yanked out and on the floor. It's mostly just clothes. Clothes everywhere. It's like a strip mall threw up all over her floor...and then proceeded to roll around in it.

Holy hell what happened in here?! And I thought _my_ room was messy. It wasn't like this the last time I was here.

The look on my face is most likely anything but helpful or supportive...or even polite so I pick my jaw up of the floor, brush invisible lint off it and snap it back into place.

_And for God's sake close your damn Bambi eyes!_

Oh right.

I would have slapped myself out of it if such an action were deemed socially acceptable.

I'm not judging. I'm not judging. I'm _not_ judging.

_You totally are..._

Am not! I'm just really surprised and scared I might fall and break my neck. I need my neck! Okay! It keeps everything...upright.

I finally look over at Ashley and see her wince at my expression and she walks ahead of me into her room. And now I feel bad. "Real sorry about the mess. Kyla was looking for a top this morning that she swore I had and raided my room like a burglar. Now my room looks likes a crime scene."

I smiled at the thought of Kyla in all black with a beanie and a burglar's mask, sneaking into Ashley's room, her tip toes making a twinkling sound.

"Did she find it?" I asked and jumped when a pretty red bra fell on me when I bumped into the wooden pillars of Ashley's canopy bed.

The hell? Ah! Get it off! I flap my arms about to get it untangled from my shoulder and hair and my arm sends it flying to the other side of the room. I turn quickly and act like nothing weird just happened behind her back.

Ashley kicks a random hill of clothes and then looks over her shoulder at me and smiles. "No. And she was pissed about that too. It was pretty epic." She sounds pleased as a slow smirk works itself on her face. "Though had she looked in the freezer..."

No she didn't...

We laughed together and it wasn't until I had finally caught my breath that I realized I was the last one laughing. I wipe the amused tears from my eyes and Ashley smiles softly as I calm down.

"Why'd you take her top?" I ask once she walks away. She opens her closet and the inside looks like a disaster. Clothes were barely hanging off their hangers, shoes were scattered all over the floor, and something that I'm guessing is a thong was dangling for dear life on one of the rungs of the small black chandelier above the closet. It was a mess. Ashley just sighed, popped her neck and then ventured bravely forward.

"She has the worst timing ever." She said simply.

I squint my eyes as I try to process what that means exactly. "Meaning..." I drawl.

"My sister has a knack for sticking her nose into other people's business. She stuck her's in mine a little too far and interrupted something that I thought was special. Twice. I just repaid the favor. Payback's a bitch and all that fun stuff."

"I see." I'm buzzing with curiosity, but I don't want to be like Kyla and pry where I'm not wanted. In Ashley's personal life. No, my goal in life is trying _not_ to be like my mother.

It's silent for a moment as I look around the messy room.

"You're not gonna ask?"

I look over at her, confused. "Ask what?"

She simply raises an eyebrow at my question and then says, "What she interrupted."

"Oh...well I thought I would be brushed off if I did. I don't want to be nosy and have my underwear chilling next to the frozen peas or something."

She smiles and then laughs to herself as she shakes her head. "Only you Spence."

"Me what?"

"Nothing. Maybe I'll tell you another time." She turns her back away from me and runs her fingers through her hair.

I eye her for a moment. Why do I get the distinct impression like I've missed something vitally important?

I think it over for a few seconds and then shrug.

It was silent as Ashley attempted to wade through the destruction in her closet. Damn. When Kyla wanted something she wasn't fooling around.

It's quiet for a few minutes as Ashley tries to make sense of her closet and I wait on her bed patiently. Then there was this monstrous sound that could have only come from the deepest pits of hell.

_**Gurrrrrggggrrrg!**_

I stiffened as my eyes popped open.

Oh my god! That was me! Did I eat Chewbacca for breakfast?

Wait. Did I even _have_ breakfast this morning?

I snap my eyes up, hoping she hadn't heard that but it's too late, brown eyes look at me curiously. I blush. Ashley turns her back away from me and rifles through her closet again.

"I know this is going to sound reeeaal creepy, but I totally just heard that." She says, she picks up a shirt and holds it away from her, she gives it a once over for a moment and then shakes her head and tosses it carelessly into a pile at the corner of her closet.

I blushed profusely as I hold my stomach with both arms as if trying to stifle its inappropriate protests for food. "And I'm totally embarrassed you heard that."

She lifts another shirt from another pile and doesn't give it a second look as she strips off her bra and tugs it on. I'm sure my face is practically purple as I watch the muscles in her back pull and move as she pulls it on. I'm waiting for her to pull it the rest of the way down as it seems to have stopped to barely below the middle of her back. But she doesn't and continues getting dressed, her tight pants the next to go and I nearly groan at the sight of her bending over.

God. I have no shame. My body feels hot and I sound like a wheezy old man. This is so inappropriate and completely unprofessional. So much for keeping this all business. Though my thoughts never are with Ashley. I was stupid to think I could manage respectability with the gorgeous girl. Oh who am I kidding? I don't even know how to act appropriate in normal situations. My reactions have never been proper with anything.

It crossed my mind briefly that Ashley wasn't making it a point to hide anything. Almost like she was doing it on purpose. She would show me a flash of delicious skin and then turn at just the right moment. Like it was all a tease. A show. A means to keep me watching, and wanting more. But that can't be right.

"Don't be. Did you eat lunch?" Her tone is amused as she pulls on a pair of short shorts - one would consider the article in question indecent if I didn't consider them utterly delicious. I'm such a perv.

God bless.

She runs her fingers through her hair, shaking the strands out, making the curls wilder and even more sexy.

She turns and walks over to me, her brow arching as she looks at me. I immediately look away, my face heating up immensely as I realize I've been caught staring. So much for stealth, perv.

I still haven't answered.

"No. No lunch for me." I was too nervous about going to see you today to keep anything down. "Does a piece of gum count?" I ask hopefully, lifting my head up to look her in the eye. She's standing right in front of me, almost between my open legs.

That's when I really get a good look at what she's wearing. Her top is roughly similar to what she was wearing the first time I was here except that the top she was wearing now was a light gray and was so short that it stopped several inches below her breasts, exposing her muscular stomach in all of its delicious, sun kissed entirety. So beautiful.

Her breaths quicken as I stare at her. It was the jerky movement of her chest rising and falling, and the subtle twitch of muscles moving under golden skin that forced my eyes to blink, and snap me out of whatever dirty thought was swirling wildly around my skull, urging my fingers to touch and caress soft looking skin. Oh how I wanted to touch you, Ashley, you have no idea just how much.

I clench my fists at my sides and press them tighter against my thighs and the mattress under me, the tension in my forearms anchoring me to what was going on.

Ashley arched an eyebrow as she looked at me, her lips curving devilishly. "Do I really have to answer that?"

I blushed again. Dammit I can't seem to stop.

I need to say something. This tense yet fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach can't be healthy. It's probably cancer. Yup. Sounds logical. We must avoid this feeling in the company of my co-star at all times or I might die. Speaking usually distracts me enough from what I'm really feeling. Yes. Flapping my mouth always works perfectly in these sort of situations. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

"Is this another one of those rhetorical questions I've been hearing so much about?"

"Is it?"

I leaned away and eyed her skeptically. "Maybe." I said turning my statement into more of a question to humor her.

She smiled. "How about breakfast?" Her thighs nudge the sides of my knees slightly, spreading my legs wider, entering them a little more. I'm sitting on my fists now.

"What about breakfast? It's yummy? Is this a trick question?" Yes I was playing stupid.

I think she could tell too. "Have you had any today?"

"Oh!" I lightly bonked my forehead, earning a soft giggle from the amused brunette. Yes! "No. No I have not had breakfast today." I said seriously.

She, unsurprisingly, rolled her eyes at me. "That explains it then. We have to remedy this. Stat!" She grabs my hand from my forehead and yanks me up and pulls me behind her, before I know it we're walking, our fingers intertwined.

"Um where are you yanking me?"

"Its a secret."

I squirmed at the word. I hate surprises.

"Well can't you give me a hint?"

"No." Ashley chuckled.

"Not even a _teensy _one?"

"Nope."

"Oh come on!" I whined. "Pleeeaase!" I clasped her hand between both of mine as I looked at her pleadingly, my sad puppy eyes piercing into her with all of its adorable intensity. Immediately her gaze falters. Ha! No one can resist the pout. No one I tell you!

She immediately looks away. Damn it to hell!

"No...and stop looking at me like that." She's smiling and I pout even more at my facial rejection.

How does that even happen?

_…THE FORCE IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE. *wheezes*__  
_  
Are you having an asthma attack?

_Shut up._

We stop and she let's go of my hand. "Surprise." She gestures dramatically to the room we're now standing in.

Oh. It's the kitchen. How did I not guess this already? Food usually leads here.

_Because you were too busy sneaking heated looks at her ass as she was walking in front of you. Duh._

Oh, right.

_Spencer, you perv._

It's not my fault! Have you seen her ass?

_..._

That's what I thought.

"I know. After all that suspense my surprise leads you here." She chuckles and walks over to the fridge, inspecting its contents with a critical eye.

I park a seat at one of the bar stools behind the kitchen island.

She seems to really be considering her choices. Not satisfied with the top shelf, Ashley bends over slightly and examines whatever's on the lower shelves and my eyes feast upon her ass like it held the meaning of life. I swear I heard a vinyl record scratch somewhere.

Her golden legs looked impossibly longer in those cotton shorts and her leg muscles tightened and her red shorts rode up that much higher - if at all possible - as she bent over even more. Holy heart palpitations!

"Aha! There it is." She stands back up. I sit up quickly and busy myself with looking at my painted nails with as much feigned interest as I can muster. I can't keep getting caught. God knows what she must think of all my staring.

She looks up at me and sets whatever she had retrieved on the island.

Grape soda.

She opens a cabinet and pulls out two glasses. She fills one halfway and takes a quick swig and then pours herself some more. She looks up at me as I watch her. She gestures to the half full liter of soda. "You want some? We have other sodas down in the garage. Coke...Root Beer...Sprite..." She lists the names on her fingers and I wave my hand at her.

"I'm good. But maybe later."

She nods and takes another sip from her drink and then places it down a little aways from her when she's done. Her brow furrows and she goes silent. She's thinking about something.

"What?" I ask.

Her mouth purses to the side as she thinks.

"I'm trying to figure out what to make you." She says, her finger nail tapping rhythmically on the counter.

I smile at her thoughtfulness but wave her off. "Don't worry about it. I'm not that hungry."

Liar.

Ashley scoffs. "Your stomach sounded like it devoured a yeti."

Chewbacca, actually.

I blush.

"I swear I won't kill you with my cooking. Contrary to what Kyla might tell you, I can actually make edible delicious things." She says proudly. "Her on the other hand..." She grimaces. "I'd much rather eat dirt." She nods firmly. "Yup. Dirt sounds a hell of a lot better than eating whatever abomination she might create. And if she offers you a spoonful of something indistinguishable, take my advice and run."

I giggle snorted at her disgusted expression. "Well then remind me never to eat at your house if Kyla's seen in the kitchen."

Her sour expression softens as I laugh. "Well then if that's the case she's officially never allowed in the kitchen." She says smoothly.

"All because of little 'ol me?" I put a hand to my chest, looking contrite.

She leans over the counter, both arms on either side of her breasts, pushing them out even more. The view is amazing but the look she's giving me right now is making my spine tingle like crazy. "All because of little 'ol you." Her smirk is so fucking sexy that my body responds by shivering slightly and dammit I can't keep my thoughts at all PG-13 right now.

"Oh." I squeak. She's so close. Too close for this to be an accident, but I can't seem to care enough to be bothered by it. I'm not bothered. Not really. I'm thrilled. But honestly, is this an invitation to do something, to lean forward or is Ashley ...what? What is she doing? There's a rush of heat between us and my body responds like a slave to her thrall.

My eyes fall down to her lips and I watch as her tongue peeks out slowly, the pink muscle swiping her top lip and then moistening her bottom, leaving an erotic sheen that I'm just aching to taste. I wonder if it tastes like grape.

Then the heat is gone and all I'm left with is the lingering scent of her perfume as she walks over to the pantry.

Dammit!

"So what do you want to do first after I feed you? Do you want to run lines," She looks over her shoulder, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Or do you want to totally goof off?" I force myself to breathe again when she looks forward. "Kyla's out doing God knows what with Andi. I think she said something about getting new light fixtures because the lighting wasn't 'romantic enough' up on stage." She gestures with her fingers around 'romantic enough'. "Though why she would be fussing over fixtures when that's the light crew's job is beyond me. But who cares because that'll give us probably hours of Kyla free time. And that's all the cause I need to celebrate." She turns around fully with a pretty smile on her face and walks over to the island. "So," She places her elbows on the steel surface, her chin in the palms of her hands, eyes looking at me intently. "What do you wanna do?" Her smile is sweet but something about the way she's looking at me when she asks about activity ideas makes my skin hot.

"Uh...yeah. I um...what?" Crap. I can't speak. My brain is mush. That look she's giving me is conjuring memories of the last time we were alone in her room, goofing off, running lines...kissing.

And I'm realizing that this is the first time that we've actually been alone together. Completely. Kyla and Andi aren't in the house with us and the looming risk of one of them walking into the room isn't present. We aren't surrounding by patrons at Sweet Spot or nosy teenagers in the crowded halls of King High, and that evil bitter Librarian is nowhere in sight. It's just me and her, and the only people that could possibly mess this moment up is either me or Ashley...though it'll probably be me.

Yeah. No pressure.

I'm fiddling with the glass Ashley had offered me, suddenly wishing I had taken her up on her offer for a drink.

Ashley looks at me for a moment and then glances at the empty glass in my nervous hands, sensing my need for it to be filled as I look at her glass. "Here. Let me get that for you." She holds out her hand and it takes me a second to realize she's referring to the glass. I wonder if the offer to get me a drink is her way of distracting me so I won't feel so nervous...or maybe she's just being a good hostess. She's been nothing but so far. Albeit a very flirty hostess...my favorite kind.

"Oh...uh yeah. Thanks." I laugh nervously and it sounds strangled for some reason. "Suddenly I'm really thirsty." She takes the glass from my numb fingers, our skin brushing briefly. But it's enough to make my lungs seize.

If she notices that I've sucked in sharply she doesn't comment - for which I'm grateful - and looks me in the eye when she asks, "What would you like Luce?"

"Whatever," I cough softly in my hand when my voice squeaks. "Whatever you were having earlier."

She grins. "Excellent choice."

I don't say anything and wiggle my butt in my seat, unable to get comfortable. I sigh softly as Ashley fills the glass with ice from the dispenser and then opens the fridge. Wondering what time it is and needing an excuse to get out of this damn chair, I stand and make to go get my bag from the living room. My cell phone is in there. I stumble slightly from having suddenly lost all feeling in my ass from sitting in the chair and force myself to stand normally. That's when it happens...

"Here's your -oh my God!"

Not noticing I had gotten up, Ashley turns too fast as I try to walk passed her, incidentally bumping right into my chest, my purple drink in her hands...and now all over the front of my previously white shirt. I freeze, my hands having attempted to keep her steady are gripping onto her biceps and I'm gaping at my shirt in shock. Also I'm suddenly cold.

Fucking _balls_! Ice! Ice in my bra! Fuck fuck fuck that's cold!

It's already soaking my bra I think. Wait. Yup. I was right. It's soaked. And cold. Ugh. Nice.

"Fuck! I'm so sorry."

Ashley places the now empty glass on the counter with a rough clink. Her hands come up to the front of my chest, attempting to pat the soda away from my shirt but that's not really helping. Actually it's making the situation even worse as I bite down on the corner of my mouth. She's rubbing it off, and I know she's not being suggestive but it doesn't matter. Her hands are still there, still caressing the front of my shirt, fingers occasionally brushing against my nipples.

I can't take it anymore. I gently grab her wrists and tug them away from my shirt and direct them to her sides.

"No no...it's...it's okay." I tell her, only barely managing to keep the desperation out of my voice. Though I cringe at the freezing sensation of the ice melting from between my breasts. Ooh that's weird. Wierdweirdweird. So cold. Why did I wear a v-neck today? I pull out a cube as I smile at her, shivering when another one slides into a new location. I drop the cube on the floor with the rest of the ice.

She looks at me as I do, frowning.

"Really." I offer her a small smile. "I didn't like this shirt anyway."

Even though it was my favorite.

Ashley doesn't look convinced and I don't blame her because I keep squirming subtly in my bra, though I'm trying my best to hide it.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's fine. Don't worry about it." I wave her off distractedly as I fidget.

"I'm still sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me." She runs her fingers through her curls, making the aroma from her shampoo that much more potent. "I'm usually more.."

"Smooth?" I supply.

"Yeah." She blushes and the sight of it is absolutely adorable.

Don't know why she thinks she's not. She's been nothing but graceful since I met her. Besides, does she know who she's talking to? Stuff like this is typical for me. Though usually I'm the one spilling things.

I nod and then shrug. "It happens. It happens to me every day. Just this morning I almost came to school in my underwear because I forgot I hadn't put on any pants." True story...my eyes widen and I stiffen when what I said finally registers in my tiny brain. Holy mother of squirrels I said that out loud! Why did you tell her that you idiot? You could't have told her something else? Anything else?

Ashley giggles and the only thing that makes my utter mortification at all bearable is that she's smiling again. "That doesn't sound so awful." She's smirking as she says this, and it's so fucking sexy I feel the ice cubes melt that much faster. [Insert internal groan here]

I shake it off though and look at her a little incredulously.

"Did you not hear me? I almost came to school in my _underwear_. Thats the pinnacle of a high school nightmare. And they were my Donald Duck ones too. I'd be scarring people from Disney for life! Their childhood would be ruined!" Of course now I just sound dramatic but it's a very legitimate possibility. Jus sayin'.

_Stop talking. I beg you!_

She giggles some more, her hand going to her stomach as she holds in her obvious amusement. Yes. Hahaha. Let's all laugh at Spencer.

But I can't even muster up the urge to frown because her goofy pretty laugh is so beautiful to my ears I'm smiling like an idiot. An idiot in love. Aw. How sweet?

"I don't know about you but the image in my head isn't too bad. Its fucking cute. It's actually a good look for you. Ducks and all."

My jaw unhinged. Is she messing with me or is she being serious? What am I saying? Of course she's messing with me...but that look. She's giving me that damn intense look again. With the eyes and the smoldering and the lips...and...gah!

She looks down at my ruined shirt as she smiles that smile again, and just because my body hates me I feel the distinctive tightening of my nipples as they strain against my bra, pushing through the fabric. The cold wetness from the drink wasn't helping matters to begin with but just one look from those eyes and my breasts are wanting to play peek-a-boo with the beautiful brunette. That's all it took really. The drink wouldn't have even mattered right then because that's all my body would need to react like a complete perv. Honestly its not even my fault. My body's just totally inappropriate. Just an innocent eye-to-nipple contact and suddenly my girls are gearing to go, wanting to say hi with enthusiasm.

Ugh. This time I really do groan but I mask it as my discomfort with being covered in soda as I glare at my infernal breasts. Stupid boobs. This is all your fault.

It's silent for a second too long and I pick my head up from my shirt to look at Ashley. Her breath seems to have stopped pushing her chest forward and I'm wondering what's wrong. But before I can ask why she looks like she can't breathe and why her cheeks are so pink her head snaps up and she's looking at me like she's suddenly hungry for steak.

"Um...Ashley?"

"We really need to get you out of that shirt - I mean...dry shirt. Clothes. Soda." She's blinking and her tongue peeks out to wet her top lip. Oh how I was jealous of that tongue...and her lips. This is insane.

My brow arches as I take inventory of her odd behavior before shrugging. "Lead the way Ms. Davies."

She smiles but it suddenly seems tight, strained on her pretty face. But I have no idea why. Maybe she's still embarrassed about pulling a Spencer and drenching my torso in sugary liquidy goodness.

I make a mental note to reassure her later when I'm dry and all the ice is out of my bra.

Ashley reaches her hand out to take mine but stops and pulls back at the last moment. She breathes and turns to make her way upstairs. I follow silently.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to take a shower?" She asks again from inside her closet.

"Yes Ashley I'm sure. It's just soda." I feel sticky and I rethink that statement. "Maybe a quick scrub from a clean wash rag and I should be good and warm again." I'm so so cold.

"I'm so sorry." She apologizes again.

"Ashley. It's fine. I'm okay. The shirt is replaceable. I can get a new one." I smile at her widely which seems to be as contagious as I had hoped and she's smiling again.

Hey. I'm getting pretty good at this comforting stuff.

I smile proudly at my accomplishment. Ashley chuckles at my expression and shakes her head.

"Okay strip and I'll get you something to wear. I'm wondering if we wear the same size bra." Ashley wondered aloud.

I'm not even sure what to say to that.

Her head pokes out from her closet. "You don't mind going commando do you? We're both girls after all." She says with a warm smile.

Yeah. And that's my problem.

"Spencer?"

"Huh?"

She holds out her hands as if weighing the options. "Bra? No bra?"

"Oh...I uh..." I'm a human tomato. A sputtering nervous idiotic human tomato. How do I get myself into these kinds of situations and with the girl of my dreams asking me these kinds of questions. And again with the eyes!

I...guess...we're roughly the same size, and I guess I could wear one of her bras. I mean it's not such a big deal, right? I can't be walking around Ashley with my nipples cutting up every shirt she owns.

"Wait." I pick my head up in time to see her flinging what looked like a perfectly descent bra behind her back. "Oh. Too bad. Seems I need to do laundry. Darn. You don't mind roughing it, right Spence?" She asks, looking somewhat apologetic but the misleading smile on her face confuses me.

I sigh. Just my luck.

"I guess not-"

"Perfect! Sorry about that Spence."

I shrug.

"Now. Strip so we can get you out of those wet clothes."

I freeze.

"You mean...right here?"

"Yeah. Where else would you be doing it?"

"Um a bathroom." I say like this should be obvious information.

Ashley pulls her head into view again. "Spencer. You have nothing to be shy about."

"I'm not shy. I'm just...unsure."

"About what?"

"Nakedness."

She flashes me an amused smile, though it's mild. "Spencer I'm not asking you to perform a strip tease for me. Though that would probably be entertaining. I'm more concerned with getting you into some warmer clothes so we can relax and totally do the opposite of what Kyla told us to do for an hour or two. Then we can rehearse. Okay?"

"I..."

She looks at me softly. "Luce, you have nothing to be worried about. You are a beautiful girl and I'm sure you're even lovelier underneath all that grape soda." She smiles and then winks at me and returns to her previous task of looking for a shirt for me to wear in her destroyed walk in closet.

My ears burn.

I've never been fond of undressing in front of people. Gym class is hell. So I usually occupy one of the bathroom stalls and pray no one has vandalized my locker again while I was away. Madison was famous for surprising me with her 'art work'. Thankfully I only have to take gym for only one semester this year because of my transcripts when we moved here.

I inhale and exhale with purpose before finally pulling the wet sticky shirt off my body the rest of the way. Feeling a tightness in my shoulders as I extended my arms up I decided to reached fully into a stretch, and it was in the middle of doing this that I felt a delicious pop of something snapping back into place, and moaned in pleasurable relief.

"I didn't know what color you liked so I picked green and - oh my fucking wow." Ashley pauses in her steps, completely captivated as I was stretching.

I turn with my arms still extended in the air. "Huh?...oh crabs! Fuck I'm sorry." I whip the soiled shirt around to cover my front, mortified that I was caught practically flashing her my goodies.

She holds her hands up in alarm. "No! ...I mean ...don't cover up. You have nothing to be ashamed of...at all. Wow I... I only assumed but I still wasn't prepared..." She looks stunned and there's something in her eyes that make my legs wiggle. "You have a very beautiful body, Luce. Very beautiful." The last statement was spoken softly as her eyes caressed my form from head to toe. I felt hot under her gaze. But didn't cover up like I wanted to, letting her look.

"Do you need help with your bra?" She husks as her eyes zero in on the article in question.

No.

It takes me a moment to amswer and then I nod. "Y-yes." Our eyes never waver from each other as they smolder into me, burning me from the inside. It suddenly feels hotter in here as she looks at me, and I fight the urge to hold my stomach as it flutters violently, filling up with dragons the wingspan the size of Texas.

I turn around slightly, my head to the side to look over my shoulder, as I hold my hair up and out of the way so she can unhook it.

I hear a few snaps and then feel my bra loosen from around my back. The loss of support from my bra sends my heart thundering in my chest and I have to remind myself to breathe.

The shirt that's holding my detached bra against my chest is the only thing keeping me covered and I'm hesitant to drop my arms. Or even turn around. Or do much of anything.

"I'll take the green one." I say softly, my back still away from her. She pauses and then I feel the shirt being draped over my naked shoulder. I pull on it quickly and hug it against my chest, dropping the ruined shirt to the floor.

"I'm just gunna..." Its silent and I know she's gone. I can tell because it's not as warm in here as it was before. It's like she took the heat with her and I suddenly feel colder than the ice had ever made me.

I look over my shoulder and let out a tense breath. I turn back around and then drop my bra, the few bits of ice within falling on the ground to join the fabric. My nipples stiffen as the air brushes against them teasingly. See. Even a soft breeze will get them excited. Now that the ice was pretty much melted and gone it'll get happy over anything.

Now I'm bare from the waist up, and if it wasn't for the fact that I was standing in Ashley Davies bedroom I would find the feeling somewhat freeing. I was only wearing low slung dark jeans, they were somewhat loose around my calves and ankles but tight around my thighs and hips. Chelsea said it brought out what few curves I had. I had slapped her when she had said this and she had said she was only joking and that they were one of the few pairs of jeans that she liked on me. Apparently my ass looked amazing, smiling at the thought, I ran my fingers over the Superman belt buckle, though if anyone ever asked it was referencing Supergirl. I finally look at the new piece of clothing Ashley had given me.

I turn the shirt over in my hands and smiled. There was a print lily on it. And my mind flashes to moments from Imagine Me & You. I wonder if she knew about that and that's why she gave it to me.

Instead of putting it on right away I waste too much time staring at the intricate design. Which is why I don't see Ashley coming out of her closet again and over to me slowly, her eyes intense. I don't know if she was trying for stealth or if she was casually sneaking up on me but it didn't really work out for her because the next moment her foot catches on a pile of clothes that Kyla had so graciously thrown there this morning. Ashley does in fact trip this time, landing solidly in my arms with a surprised yelp.

I hold her close as she leans against me, both hands pressed above my chest, fingers sprawled teasingly over my collar bone as I wrap my arm around her lower back. Our naked stomachs were pressed tightly against one another, our skin hot and almost blistering. Heated skin pressed deliciously against heated skin and I think I might pass out from the overwhelming tingling sensations I'm experiencing. I felt like I was burning up.

And then I realize two very important things:

One is that I'm naked...

And that Ashley Davies feels amazing in my arms.

But...why isn't she moving away?

Ashley licks her lips as her eyes dart all over my face, that damn look in her eyes again.

And _God._ Can I just kiss you right now?

* * *

**Aaaaand scene! **

**I've always wanted to say that. ;D**

**So how was that for a long ass wait? Was it slightly worth it? Just a little? Come on. It totally was. Sorta.**

**Love you guys! I definitely missed this story and you readers. But I'm back. So don't worry.**

**Review!**

**- Lil' Miss**

**Oh! Also just to let you know that I've re-uploaded most of the past chapters. No major changes. Just a few grammatical errors that were bugging me and a few pieces of dialogue added here and there. So if you've already read up to this point, you're absolutely fine. If you're new to the story, enjoy! Peace.**


	19. Author's Note: Chapter 19

*sighs* I feel like an idiot for doing this ...but it has to be done. Smh...

Okay! So here's the deal people. Your dear goofy, but sometimes surprisingly _genius_, writer is stuck. And I mean STUCK! It seems I've not only hit a wall head first but I seem to have crashed right through it and wound up in a very dramatic intersection…

What on earth is this crazy chick going on about, you may ask?

Well, I'll be happy to tell you.

It seems that I've not only finished the next chapter but have second guessed the entirety of it so much that I wrote it again, only in a completely different outcome. Now. I've kinda fucked myself over royally by not staying committed to either one and also writing another so that's where I need YOUR HELP! Please! Purdy pweeeeese! So with your guys' help I'll figure out which one I should update with and which direction I'll take the story. Kay? Cuz trust me, I've tried to choose on my own and it just ain't workin'.

Alrighty then! So….

Option A: Is what you all have been waiting for…a kiss. But a kiss with FEELINGS! ….EXCEPT!...not all things work out the way you might think…hmmmm…*mystery!* O.O ...Oooooh!

Option DOS!: Its awkward but hilarious but so fucking frustrating you just want to trash talk your computer which will most likely have people questioning your mental health as you sling unsavory no no words at the inanimate object in front of you... What? It could happen.

Okay so that's all I got but each one is probably 7000 – 10,000 words. So its not like I've been doing _nothing_ the whole damn time. ;)

LOVE YOU GUYS! THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR GUYS' SUPPORT AND FEEDBACK!

This story is really coming along and I have so much insanity and fluffyness and adorkableness planned its killing me not to update it all at once.

**ALSO! THERE IS A POLL ON MY PROFILE. VOTE THERE AND LET ME KNOW.**

I'll keep the poll open until Friday so vote if you can!

~ Peace

Lil' Miss


	20. Imperfect Moments

**OKAY! F'n finally! *wipes brow* Here it is guys. Most of you might (will) hate me after you get to the bottom but I promise you…uh…well maybe you should read it before you judge me. Yeah. Do that first. Lol.**

**Still not sure about the chapter but you guys voted so I delivered. :) **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

She's smiling as her eyes dart all over my face, a few moments drifted longer on my mouth and then back up again. I don't think I can breathe.

Her chuckle is charged, husky and not in the least bit goofy, and all I can think in that moment is how easy it would be to just swoop my head down and taste the flavors on her tongue. But uh...maybe I'm getting ahead of myself again.

She looks up at me through thick butterfly lashes. "Damn." She breathes, her words warm and silky against my face. "I just keep falling for you huh?" Her lips curl as she breathes hot air on my lips, eyes flicking up to mine, scorching me, melting me from the inside, lips curling up slowly. All my joints feel like they're made of licorice. I shouldn't feel this excited because of one smile but I am. And fuck if I cared how pathetic that made me. I was hooked on her and I've only tried her twice. Something inside, something wanting and unsatisfied yearned for the situation to progress, to climb to unknown heights and never come down. Just the reality of having her in my arms only confirmed what I already knew with immeasurable intensity: I wanted her. Badly.

I swallowed roughly.

"L-looks that...way." My damn voice cracked. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't keep it together. I was slipping. My chest was barely moving as it was and I think Ashley was becoming aware of what this was doing to me. What _she_ was doing to me. At least I hope she wasn't.

"Ash?" Her name barely escaped past my teeth I was clenching my jaw so tight, and even then it sounded too breathy.

"Hmm." Her index finger had taken to dragging the nail teasingly over my collar bone, goose bumps erupting in its teasing wake. My breath hitches and my pulse fluttered.

Fucking fuck.

It also shouldn't be this easy to make me fall apart...and yet here I was, falling, melting, shuddering with perfection in my arms. I was screwed. Royally and I didn't mean that as a hopeful suggestion. Oh God. Let's not think about that, Spencer you dork!

"I'm uh ...kinda ...n-naked." I point out uselessly.

"I'm well aware Spence." She says with a soft smile, glancing down to follow the hot trail of her fingers as it circled my jugular. I shuddered and died...Okay not really.

"And - and your shirt is..." Killing me. You're killing me! My nipples were scraping against the fabric of her shirt and I know I shouldn't but I groan anyway. They're so sensitive already because of the ice and her closeness, and the unexpected stimulation from her shirt is not helping! I think I'm going to die. Again. Happily. But maybe not. Because death is, well, it's still gross.

Her smirk is pure evil. And yet it's so fucking sexy I almost can't handle it.

"What? Tell me." She whispers between the limited air between us. This moment is so intimate and so sweet the disgusting secret romantic inside me is sitting on the edge of her seat and munching ravenously on a bucket of popcorn , waiting in painful suspense for what's going to happen next. What are we going to do? What's even happening right now? I know what's happening, I think. But I've never been in such a risky situation like this before. Top off and heart nearly bare for her to see. For anyone to see. It's exposing. Thrilling...terrifying. But it can't possibly be one sided...right? I mean -damn. Ashley's eyes are so...so gosh darn beautiful. So soulful as she stares up at me, piercing me right in the heart and I can't help but want to give it to her so readily since she's won it over so easily. And the silky silence between us isn't nearly as uncomfortable or stifling as it should be given that I'm literally exposed from the waist up.

"Are you going to tell me Luce?" Her breath is so hot against the underside of my jaw and I breathe in sharply. "Or am I going to have to find other means to get what I want?" Oh hell! I was wrong. Her lips are hotter I discover once she brushes them against the underside of my jaw. Fuck...there's that heat again. She brought it back with her and it showed up with a vengeance. Her voice is so damn husky and heavy with something so primal I just want to curl around it and never let up.

One of her hands reaches up and wraps around my nape, fingers teasing the hairs at the back of my neck. She takes to scraping her nails up and down the back of my neck and spine as her other arm rests over my shoulder.

My eyelids slip shut and my eyes roll back. Fudgy filthy muffins! How is she touching all the right spots without really touching me? Is she a wizard?

"I-I'm ...what's happening right now?" I ask instead, chickening out on the last moment when she asked what I was really feeling. I'm not there yet. I'm not brave enough or bold enough to go into detail. Especially when I have no clue if this is really happening or if it's just a dream.

This is a dream, right?

Ashley only smiles at me, her eyes tracking every swipe and caress of her fingers on my skin. She shrugs briefly.

"Some people would call it intense chemistry. A complex emotional and psychological interaction between two people. While I call it totally turning you on." Her lips scrape up past my jaw bone and I can feel her smiling against my cheek and I love it. "How am I doin' so far?"

"Amazing." I breathe with a blissful smile. Smart things were coming out of her mouth but I wasn't really listening. But they sounded pretty.

"Good..." Her breath is ghosting over my mouth. It smells like her grape soda and spear mint gum, and the added effects of her scrumptious perfume is doing my senses in and I'm getting dizzy as it all hits me at once. "You're so beautiful Luce."

I don't say a word. I don't know why. Nothing tastes poetic enough on my tongue, I guess. Yes. I taste poetry. And instead of letting it fly out of me and sing it's little heart out, I swallow it, pushing it down, smothering it to nothing.

"I bet you make angels jealous." She says softly and I let out a little snort. If she didn't look so serious and sexy with that smirk on her face I would have called her corny. Never thought I'd see the day.

"I don't know about that..." I say with a small smile. She looks at me softly, her gaze flicking down to my lips and my nose and then slowly all over my face.

"I'd put money on it." She replies seriously.

I want to say something sarcastic and silly, make light of her sincere statement but I can't. Because those words don't feel right on my tongue either. And that has to be the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. "Thank you." I say eventually.

Her smile is warm and her soft strokes soon become long caresses...and just like that...the heat is back. Though admittedly it never really left.

I take a slow, deep breath, incidentally pushing my chest closer into Ashley's, firing up my libido as my breasts scrape unashamedly against the fabric.

I want to kiss her so badly I think I might rupture something if I don't.

But as much as it aches me not to just go for it, I can't. Someone would question my desire for her right then and after a few vibrantly colorful choice words and a justified flip of my middle finger, I would soon tell them that worrying about it wasn't needed. Because Ashley made a move before me.

"Ya know," She started, as her fingers began a soft massage at the back of my skull, breath close and hushed. "I kinda felt cheated when we first kissed in my living room." She pauses and my eyes widen. She looks up at me. "Do you ever think about that kiss?"

It takes me a few seconds for my brain parts to start working again and by that point I don't even care what I'm admitting to.

"I do." I whispered, though it's hard to breathe. It was like I couldn't get enough air in.

Her finger scrapes lightly over the cords in my neck. "I don't count that one as our first kiss." She said softly.

F-f-first kiss? Someone pinch me. I think I'm dead.

_That's not how the saying goes stupid._

I furrowed my brow. Am I really having this conversation with her? Are we really talking about kissing ...a-and feelings? And holy hell I'm actually awake this time! I lick my suddenly dry lips and breathe as carefully as I can. "Then which one do you count?" I asked curiously, softly.

She gave a small, secret smile. Eyes flicking downward to my lips. "This one." She whispered, and then leant forward and pressed her lips softly against mine. My eyes widened in surprise, before I went cross eyed and slowly lowered my lids closed.

Oh.

It's light.

Barely a feather touch, but it's enough to send my heart rocketing in its place, waiting for the go ahead to burst from my chest in euphoria. She's so soft too. Like kissing velvet. And I want so badly to just run my tongue across her lower lip and taste what flavor of gloss she's wearing today. Last time it was cinnamon. The last time we kissed I tasted Ashley for hours. She tasted a lot like Red Hots. All heat and spice and sugar. Just like Ashley herself. But I can't complain. Nu-huh. Because it's a sweet kiss, nothing like the other two we've shared. It's not rushing and heated. It's more a give then a pull. And golly did I want to give her everything I had. But that's not what this moment is about. It's merely an offering.

I distantly recall the feel of her pulling away but I simply remained still, eyes closed and lips slightly puckered. Then, I smiled stupidly.

Ashley giggled and I opened my eyes and looked at her with probably the stupidest dreamy expression ever.

"Your lips taste like grape soda." I said dreamily.

She chuckles softly and tucks a piece of blonde hair behind my ear, her index finger trailing down my cheek as she smiled at my expression. "Do they now?"

I nodded, still dazed. "Mm-hmm. They're yummy."

Ashley raises an eyebrow, clearly amused with me. She smirks and drops her voice to that sensual tone that drives me insane. "Want another taste?"

"God yes."_ Let's not sound desperate Spencer._

But we are.

_She doesn't know that!_

Yes she does.

_Okay, yes she does...stupid! Why'd you blow our cover?_

I couldn't stay closeted for long! It was getting drafty in there.

_You're hopeless..._

I don't care.

Then I'm reacting and Ashley's reacting and it's hot and wet and so fucking needed at that moment, I'm moaning in relief.

It's still nice though. Still new and I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be than here with her for the rest of my life. Kissing. Holding. Being. It's all amazing...

She's amazing.

I still can't believe this is all happening. This moment is perfect. A little weird. With the whole me being naked and all but I won't knock it.

I mean I'm still very much half naked and Ashley is deliciously warm in my arms and add the fact that Ashley's 'lazy wear' was barely covering her stomach and pressed tightly against mine and you have mass panic. But flailing joy. Internally of course.

But however we got here its happening and the only angel that I know of was standing comfortably in my arms because this had to be the closest thing to heaven I've ever gotten in my short 18 years of life.

I groan when Ashley pulls at my bottom lip with her teeth, sucking on the now reddened flesh, making my grip on her waist tighten in reflex.

At some point we slow our kissing, our mouths panting hotly, our lips brushing softly against one another. Ashley is pressed tightly against me, and her soft skin feels like hot silk against mine. I feel the urge to moan, to let loose the primal noises inside me, declaring to the air that this moment had happened, but just the thought of voicing my enjoyment, like that, it's embarrassing. Not to mention I still don't know what the fuck is actually happening and I don't want to risk spooking Ashley back into reality.

...or waking up.

Not just yet.

Ashley takes to leaving small kisses on my bottom lip, an apology for biting it so roughly.

I feel lightheaded. I blame her.

We're silent. It's just me and her and I have to remind myself to breathe when Ashley snuggles closer into my arms, her head resting on my shoulder.

"What do you want to do?" She asks, her words ghost across my jaw line, a lone finger playing with the ends of my hair.

"I don't know if I want to answer that."

"Why not?"

"I'm afraid you won't like the answer."

"Do you want me to stop?" She breathes heatedly near my ear, nibbling on the flesh at the corner of my jaw. Do you want a coherent answer or will mangled syllables count too?

_Is that even a question?_

Leave me alone.

"No." I rasp.

"Then look at me." Calloused fingertips urge my chin to the side, facing her as she leans her head back. I'm scared and I know I look it. "Nothing has to happen, okay?

"I don't even know what's happening."

Why am I whining about this? Isn't this what I wanted?

Ashley smiled sweetly, her nose crinkling a little in the most adorable and sexiest way ever. "Me either." Her cheeks and the tip of her nose has the softest shade of pink on it as her head dips somewhat shyly. "But I like it. Whatever it is."

I smile shyly and open my mouth to agree. I want to tell her everything. Or at least most of it. It felt like my moment. That moment I've been waiting for. What happened at the Library couldn't compare to how perfect it was now. She was giving me her hand and I was taking it happily, trusting her. Figuratively, of course.

Ashley tightens her hold behind my neck and pulls me down, directing our lips together in another sweet kiss.

Then I hear a door slam that echoes through the large house and I freeze around Ashley. Ashley does to and I want to disentangle myself from her, cover up, hide, but she holds me tighter to her. So I stay. She reaches the other hand from my chest and caresses my arm on the way down, and holds my hand in a reassuring the grip. I melt all over again. Much to her displeasure I'm the one that pulls away from her.

"It's okay Luce." She coos, the fingers wrapped around my neck trails up to caress my cheek gently and the other hand runs soothingly through my hair. Reassuring me. How can she be so fucking perfect? Why am I not pulling away and covering up?

I almost forget where I am and what was worrying me in the first place when several sharp knocks echo from Ashley's door, stilling my heart completely.

"Sup _tramp_!" Kyla's distinctive voice screams through the door. I hate my life...

"We're home. Andi wants to know if you want to order pizza? And why is the kitchen covered in soda? Do I look like your maid? I mean we don't live in a barn you know. Clean up your own damn messes so I don't have to almost fall on my ass when I walk in. Could have killed someone! Especially me! Oh and did Spencer go home already? Did you guys rehearse? Which scene did you work on? Did you kiss? Ooh! How was it? Was there tongue? On second thought don't tell me. You already mortified me enough the last time, the last thing I need is to mentally relive the most horrific moment in my life involving my sister... It was hot though. I'll admit. I swear she's hardcore in love with you. Don't know how you didn't pick up on it before this whole thing. Spencey's been eye sexing you since she moved here. Even I could feel the lesbian vibes and I thought I was straight last year! I don't know why everyone thinks I'm the dumb sister. I mean how obvious can you get? She's so-"

"Kyla!" Ashley screams, the volume makes me jump. Is there a convenient hole I can just fall into? No. Well then...this sucks.

"What?"

Ashley holds my hand tighter as mine went limp in hers. "God! For fucks sake-j-just shut the fuck up! _Go_ away!" She sounds angry but her tone is panicked around the edges and laced with a quiet desperation.

"Hey! I'm just trying to have a conversation. The least you could do is-" Kyla's opening the door before I can hide and ...well it pretty much goes to shit after that.

"...whoa." Her eyes bulge and I don't blame her. This must be a sight. "What the hell did I walk in on?" Kyla Wood's eyes dart from her sister to me and back again, and then a slow grin spreads across her face, probably loving the drama of it all. While I just felt like meat on a hook.

"None of your damn business now get the hell out of my room!" Ashley points angrily at the door as if just the mere urgency of her furious finger gestures will get Kyla out of here faster.

If only.

"Yeah but...oh uh hey Spence." She waves, smirking. I never pegged Kyla for being stupid. Ditzy yes, airheaded...slightly. Stupid? Not even. But she must really be clueless on exactly how fragile a situation she just walked into and how severely she made it worse, it's like she just walked on a floor made of thin glass and already it's beginning to crack and scream from her steady pressure.

I'm quiet. Because I'm not sure what to say, do, think. I know that I should maybe be crying, or angry, except I feel nothing. I just want to...I'm not sure exactly. No. I do know. I want to leave. I really _really_ want to leave. I can't even process all this in my mushy brain. It's like everything inside my head has been muted, dulled, smothered by this overwhelming weight that I just can't shake off. Unfortunately it's not completely silent. Nope.

_"I mean how obvious can you get?"_

"Kyla." I say flatly. Though it doesn't even sound like my voice anymore. It's not husky or charged like it was earlier. It's not timid like you would expect from me. It's just...kinda hollow. Not really there. Or alive. And that description seems pretty accurate considering I felt dead on the inside.

Her eyes glance down to my naked torso and I quickly jerk my arms protectively in front of my chest, concealing my utter shame. I felt...dirty. Wrong. Caught in a horrible situation with my pants down. Only the opposite I guess.

"Oooh girl you work fast." She smiles at Ashley and its not to be lewd it's more in amusement than anything and I don't know if she's silently laughing at me or Ashley. I imagine she's laughing at me. She said so herself. Apparently I'm just a big joke to everyone, aren't I?

_ "I mean how obvious can you get?"_

Shut. Up.

I clench my eyes shut and will myself to breathe.

"What the - _fuck_! Get out of here Kyla!" Ashley shouts, pointing angrily, her grip on my hand is firm and as much as I want to cling to it, I want to let go just as much. God. I'm ...such an idiot.

"But the tension is just so...uhm ew." Her gaze trails from both Ashley and I, and frowns. "Your right. This is just way too awkward even for me to enjoy."

Ashley glared murderously as her sister darted out of the room with a hurried, "Choi!" and slammed the door. Ashley's eyes flashed furiously, she looked like she wanted to kill something, or Kyla, the act probably involving a chainsaw and stealing every piece of clothing she had and mailing them to Antarctica.

Heh. That'd be funny actually.

If I wasn't so turned on right now I'd be terrified.

Angry Ashley is just...guh...

...Fucking hell! Even stunned out of my mind, my brain still finds ways to be overly inappropriate. Maybe it's a coping mechanism. They have that right? That's a thing?

But honestly...

My mind just keeps replaying the last few lines of Kyla's obnoxious rant._ "-she's hardcore in love with you. Don't know how you didn't pick up on it before this whole thing...Spencey's been eye sexing you since she moved here...-eye sexing you since she moved here...-she's in love with you...I mean how obvious can you get?"_

Oh shit. I am so embarrassed right now. They knew. They knew I liked Ashley? Didn't they? Isn't that what Kyla said? I mean just the way she worded it made it sound like my infatuation with her sister was more a joke than a genuine feeling. I...God I need to get out of here. I can't breathe. I can't think. I can't be this blind to not see this coming. I mean it was just too good to be true. I pull my hand away from her and back away when she tries to grab for it again, shaking my head disbelievingly.

I'm such an idiot.

"I have to go...stuff." That wasn't even a complete sentence. Goddammit she's reduced me to bumbling idiocy! And this is really raising the bar from what normally comes out of my mouth around her...sort of.

"Luce wait." Her tone is weary, hesitant and I almost feel bad for her. Almost. Because I'm pretty sure I'm worse off than her right now.

Something snaps inside me and I turn on her quickly.

"Don't call me that! M-my name is Spencer. _Spen-cer_." I repeat firmly, yet I sounded so broken, so choked for air I was kicking myself for my cracking slip up. I could already feel myself echoing on the inside. Fuck, my nose is burning. It won't be long before I'm completely balling in front of her. I'm pathetic. Such an idiot.

I tug the shirt from her hands roughly and hurriedly put it on, and shield my braless breasts with my hands.

You'd think heartbreak would be the ultimate cockblock but my nipples are still peaked. Fuck this is just messed up. All of it. What was she really doing? And this whole time she knew? Had Kyla told her? Was this just some big joke to them? All of them? Let's pick on the lonely infatuated blonde lesbian and make her look like the biggest fool ever. Break her heart. God. It's like Harper all over again.

"Fuck!" I scream and I'm running out of her room before I can think about it. Or act rationally like a normal person.

Ashley snaps out of it quickly and rushes after me. "Spencer! No Spencer - _wait_! Let me explain!"

"I have to go. I have to-_God_!" I wipe my eyes roughly and almost eat it when I was near the bottom of the stairs, temporarily blinded, though, I run into something warm and solid.

"Whoa. Where's the fire?" Andi says with a chuckle as she steadies me...then her features fall and soften immediately. "Hey. Whoa hey what happened?" Andi's voice is soft and caring and I nearly breakdown right there. She sounds so sincere. Damn her.

I push Andi away from me and walk quickly for my bag near the door where I left it.

"Spencer no! Just...don't go." Ashley vaults over the partition from the stairs, landing gracefully on the ground with a solid thud. I'm stunned from the act for a moment but it's all the time Ashley needs for her to make her way over to me and clasp my arm gently, yet firmly in her hold. "Please don't go Spencer. Kyla's an idiot okay? She didn't mean it. Okay, well, she did. But-"

Is that supposed to reassure me?

I wrench my arm away from her, refusing to hear anything she has to say, and fling the door open. Ashley lives a few miles away from me but damn it if I'm going to let that stop me. I couldn't stay there.

The sound of slapping feet and crunching grass follows me as I angrily trek my way down her long as hell driveway.

"Nononono! Fuckfuckfuck! Ugh. Cold grass cold grass! ...Lu-I mean Spence wait!" I'm running as fast as I possibly can.

I couldn't get away from her fast enough. My heart felt like someone had took a drill to my chest and just said, "fire 'er up!" and shoved it deep. And god ...I couldn't stop crying.

Ashley was chasing after me and maybe fifteen minutes ago I would have found the one I love coming after me completely romantic but now I just find it annoying and terrifying. But I know she can't keep this pace for long. Because for one, I have shoes on...and she doesn't.

But it didn't matter how fast I ran, she was still trailing behind me. It wasn't until I had cut though someone's back yard and hid behind a dumpster that I think I finally lost her.

At this point even if she did have a good enough excuse I had already made a fool of myself. I'm already embarrassed for running like that. So either way I'm screwed, you see.

So I ran. I ran as I lost myself in my head. Poisonous thoughts swirled and burned in my brain. Every beautiful moment me and Ashley shared was tainted with this seed of doubt. She had known. The whole time she knew. All the soulful looks and lingering touches were all planned, measured and intended to deliver in a specific manner. To...what? Make me fall in love with her? Which is pointless because I was so far in love with this girl sometimes it hurt. What was the point of all this? Was this all a prank? A means to humiliate me? Just thinking about that makes me point fingers at Madison as the most likely one to do something sick like this. Though even then I know she's not that cruel. That whole Madison barb earlier today was probably a lie too...

God. It's still hard imagining Ashley Davies in this horrible light. She's too amazing to play me so wickedly. But then again...she is an amazing actress. Just as good as Kyla. And Harper was just as innocent looking...until she wasn't.

But then why is my gut telling me I made the biggest mistake of my short dorky life?

* * *

The cashier looks worried. And I don't blame him. I probably look like shit. Eyes puffy and red, the epitome of a poor sap on some Kleenex commercial. I ran probably a dozen blocks after I left Ashley standing practically naked in the wet grass of someone else's lawn. And I didn't stop running, as I was weaving in and out of neighborhoods with no clear direction. I could run for miles without getting tired. It was one of the few advantages of having Glen as a brother. The lame ass was notorious for thinking that the bigger the bicep the hotter the babe. Which in some cases was true...and other's? Not so much. But either way it motivated him enough to get into shape and stay there. And since my brief stint as a King High cheerleader when I got here was the only outlet of exercise, once I was off the squad, I started running and working out with Glen. It brought us closer and I got me buns of steel and a stamina that could last me hours and miles. So I can't complain. Especially now.

I kept walking in and out of the store multiple times. After the third time the greasy guy behind the counter told me I had to start buying something or he would call the cops. For loitering and acting suspiciously...or whatever...asshole. So a bottle of water and four packs of some minty flavored gum later and I've managed to bleed through most of my lunch money for the week and get on the creepy people list of some random Joe that I pray I never see again for as long as I live. Dude kept leering at me ever since I dropped my water on the floor and bent over to pick it up.

Just for that I should be charging!

I walk back outside, quickly this time lest he rape me with his eyeballs for longer than I'd like, and lean against the side of the building. I need to get out of here. I have no idea where I am in relation to where I live. Which is sad since I've lived here for a year now but it's certainly not enough time to be an expert of the ins and outs of LA.

My hands haven't stopped shaking. Not even after I finally stopped running. And not cause I was tired, far from it, I kept seeing her. Brandi or whatever the fuck her car's name is. She was looking for me. Or maybe she was going out to get a fucking cheeseburger. Who cares? All I know is I don't want her to see me and I don't want to see her.

Which is why I kept hiding like a weak little woodland creature and 'burrowed' myself in this dingy gas station.

I wiped my eyes roughly. Great and now I'm crying again.

I'm shakily reaching for my phone and trying as hard as I can to keep my fingers from entering the wrong numbers but I keep inputting the wrong thing and having to start over again. Fuck!

Finally a number I recognized illuminated the dial box and I hit send, and waited.

"...Heeey this is Glen, you know what to do. And if you don't, well, this is probably gunna get really awkward...Beeeep!"

"Glen! Glen hey I'm...," I sniffed softly. "I need your help. Will you come get me? I'm over by the 711 on 3rd and I just...god... I screwed up okay. I was stupid and I need you right now. Please. It's 6:19 right now so I hope you get this before...well before its not 6:19 anymore. I-I love you. Uhm." I don't even say bye. My throat was closing to the point of pain and I had to end it.

I waited for a few minutes but I heard no reply. I wiped my sore puffy eyes and cleared my phone and entered 2 on my speed dial. Dad is #1 for obvious reasons. But he couldn't be my savior this time.

I inhale shakily and squeezed my salty eyes tight. Then I blinked.

"Hello?"

"...Chel...sea?" I choked. Damn it. Whatever. She was bound to find out sooner or later.

"Spence? Spencer what's wrong, honey? Are you crying?" She sounds immediately alarmed, and I feel bad for making her worry.

"No." I sniff loudly and I try my damnedest to muffle the congested cough with my hand but it still sounds gross and oh so pathetic.

"Baby what happened? Where are you?"

"At a 711. Fuck...Chels. God my heart feels like someone stomped on it." I sobbed.

"What happened?" She asks softly, her tone warm and almost soothing to my ears.

I shake my head.

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't have a ride. Can you just pick me up? Please. I don't want to walk all the way home. I think I saw Ashley's car when I hid and I ran into the store." Twice actually. I saw her damned car twice.

"What? Ashley's car? What's going on?"

I close my eyes, suddenly feeling drained. "Please? Can we not talk about this now? I just want to go home. Can you pick me up or not?" I'm irritated, not with her. But with myself. I'm such a coward for running but I'm also so fucking pissed at the situation I let myself get into...again...I just...I don't even know. I just fucking want to go to bed and never wake up.

"Fine. Which 711 are you at?"

I give her directions and then hide in the store every time I see a red car pass by, I'm sure it's Ashley's and I feel a sick thrill run through me when I spot her through the window.

Except for the part where I want to throw up all over my shoes.

* * *

"Spencer?"

Chelsea's head pokes up through her open door and she looks alarmed. She's slamming the door closed and running out urgently. I just sit on the ground next to the pay phone that I'm sure has probably been out of commission since 1996. Is it normal to feel this numb?

"Spencer come on baby girl let's get you home okay?"

She helps me up and walks me to the passenger door, opening it for me. I flash back to when Ashley did this for me only hours ago and feel like crying. Wait. I am crying. That's right.

Then we're driving.

Chelsea keeps glancing at me every few seconds but I don't react. It's like my whole body has frozen and the slightest movement is unwarranted.

Thankfully Chelsea doesn't fill the car ride with conversation and just flicks the radio to my favorite station. The one I know she hates because 8 times out 10 they never play a song she likes.

Sometimes I love her.

But even though it's a sweet gesture I don't feel like smiling. Or moving. Or anything really. Sitting. Sitting sounds nice right now. I can do that easy. Yes I'll just sit here until I finally wither and die. Or I starve. Either works I guess.

Well...today was ...shit. Or at least it ended shitty.

I guess Spencer Carlin doesn't get the romantic moment after all. Or the girl.

I feel sick to my stomach but I'm so relieved that I didn't bleed my heart out to Ashley back there. God that would have been horrible. And even though it felt like it, I guess it wasn't really the right time for me, not like I thought it would be anyway...because...life doesn't want me to have a happy ending.

Well... fuck you too.

* * *

**So yeah...don't hate! I know it feels like we took several skips forward and 30 miles in the opposite direction but don't you worry your little weird romantic heart none. Everything will right itself eventually. *pinky promise***

**So feel free to let me know what you thought of the chapter. Still unsure about it. But either way its up so I'm happy for the most part. :)**

**- Lil' Miss**


	21. Punch You In The Heart

**So I'm back. My friend Nicole is such a helpful weirdo and without her you'd still be waiting on an update. So everyone say THANKS NICOLE! ^^ So this is a short little update but its stil necessary in its own way. I'll probably update in a few days. I'm with all of my crazy family and they have seen it as their life's mission to annoy and squoosh family fun into my supposedly peaceful and rarely taken upon vacation time. *sarcastic "yay."***

**Also thank mb168. Because he/she sent me a PM and got me motivated. It was pretty simple but still well received and I cranked this thing out and the other chapters with it quickly. So THANKS! :D**

**Anyways...ENJOY! :)**

* * *

Chelsea drove me home and had to shake my shoulder a little to get me to look at her. I had kinda checked out sometime during the drive to my house so I hadn't even realized we were parked in front of my house till Chelsea pointed out her window and I followed her suggestion and looked myself.

Ah.

Home sweet home...or something.

I numbly got out and closed the door softly. Chelsea wordlessly followed, not even asking if I wanted her to come inside. She knew she didn't have to. She opened the door for me and I walked in, went to the kitchen, got myself a bottle of water from the fridge, a bag of Doritos from the pantry and walked upstairs to my room, Chelsea following closely behind with a Dr. Pepper in hand.

Chelsea closed the door and I rolled my eyes the moment she opened her mouth.

"So are you finally going to tell me what the hell happened back there?"

I pursed my lips to the side and shook my head lightly. "Wasn't planning on it. No." I whispered, flopping grumpily somewhere in the middle of my bed.

Chelsea looks at me for a moment. "Spence... I can't help you if you don't tell me how to."

I mumbled unintelligible curses into my comforter covered mattress and then rolled over and just stared at my awesome looking ceiling. "Right now, I just want to be alone Chelsea." I sighed in frustration, my voice already beginning to crack.

She tilted her head, looking on in heavy disbelief. "No you don't. The last thing you want is to be alone right now."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay _fine_. I don't want to be alone right now but I'm still not going to tell you."

Chelsea looked away for a moment and then nodded, shrugging. "Fair enough. I'll go get the ice cream and the shitty movies. I left my laptop in my car so we can search Netflix for a crappy horror movie or something and laugh at the most inappropriate times. Ya know, party."

I managed to smile at that and nodded weakly. "Sounds like a plan, Chief." I rasped.

Chelsea offered me a smile and left my room to get her laptop.

Much to her obvious, but thankfully restrained irritation, Chelsea kept her word and didn't ask me anything for the next few movies. We watched some crappy slasher flick that was so horribly done but somehow managed to take itself way too seriously. But Chelsea and I couldn't help but spit ice cream at her computer screen as we laughed hysterically.

It was exactly what I needed. Chelsea had managed the seemingly impossible and had gotten my mind off of Ashley after the second horrible movie. My best friend had got me laughing again and I honestly, especially after the fucked up way I was feeling a few hours ago, didn't think it would be this soon before I was laughing and filling my belly with humor again. Not for a good long while anyway. My belly hurt afterwards and it was so well worth the burn in my abdomen.

It was our third flick of the evening and we were around the point in the movie where all the scared ninny's decide it's such a spectacular idea to split up and get hacked to pieces and die in the most gruesome but disturbingly creative way. Then my phone beebed...and without thinking as I came down from another one of my giggle highs, I picked up my cell and looked at it.

**[3 Unread Messages]**

**- Future Wife -**

Ow. Is that my heart strangling itself or is it just breaking again?

"Chels?" My voice was small and so fucking weak. I hated feeling this way. Just the sight of her name...well her labeled implication had my face burning with embarrassment and my chest sore and stinging again. My eyes burned and I just wordlessly handed her the phone.

She squinted at the screen. "Whose..." Her forehead scrunched up and then smoothed out. "Oh...oh I see."

I nodded. "Yup." I cleared my tightening throat, and blinked. "Get rid of it will ya."

"Sure thing." She pressed a few things on the screen until it lit up and shut off completely. "There. Now you're totally off the radar." She said, offering me a soft smile.

"Can you go ahead and get me totally off this planet too? That'd be great."

Chelsea scooped my side into her arms until my head was resting on her shoulder, and where I proceeded to snuggle, making myself nice and comfy.

"We'll get through this Spencer. I promise. You, me, and Xander. Both of us will be there for you the whole way."

My throat tightened at that as I choked back a happy sob, smiling. "Thanks Chels."

"Hey. It's no prob baby girl. Always."

It was silent for a while as I laid quietly sniffling in my best friend's arms.

"She knows." I muttered as I continued nervously mangling Roody's little ear hairs and then affectionately smoothing them back.

"What?"

"...Ashley." I sniffed loudly, my eyes prickling once more as I thought of her. "She knows. About me, I mean. Me...liking her and...stuff."

"How? Wait when- I - okay back up and just ..._rewind_ to the beginning."

I groaned. "Oh please don't make me." I whined. Chelsea raised an eyebrow.

"Ugh gosh dang it fine." My eyes closed slowly as I breathed harshly through my nose.

"I think that if you get it out, at least play it out once, it might make you feel somewhat better."

I scoffed. "Yeah. Somewhat."

"What happened Spence? I gotta knows whose face to smash first. So cough it up small fry. I want names and _exact_ locations...and possibly their social security number."

I rolled my eyes. "Well...Kyla told me why I was _really_ casted for the play...what a joke." I laughed humorlessly.

Chelsea's eyes widened as she whipped her head in my direction. "She told you?"

"Told me what?" I asked confused and then I got distracted from my train of thought, which was running wild like a herd of roaring buffalo. My thoughts were jumbled, messy, misfiring in random directions and I couldn't keep track of one long enough to explain myself clearly. "Well, I mean ...not exactly. She told Ashley. They both knew. Kyla didn't know I was there." I chuckled sardonically. "That's probably why they wanted me in the play so badly. They knew I would say yes. Kyla was all, yeah so Spencer's totally in love with you Ashley...and I can't believe you didn't know that since she practically drools and floods the hallways whenever she sees you and oh my god she's _such_ a needy lesbian I could feel her sexual frustration from Starbucks this morning!"

"She said that?" Chelsea blanches and looks angrily at the phone in her hands, her fingers clenching somewhat tightly around the metal.

"Well mostly. I may have embellished a little but ...yeah. Pretty much...God I'm such a loser Chels. I can't believe...fuck and I was fucking kissing her when they got home. It was so perfect too. I..." My notes were cracking and I have to hold a hand to my mouth as I lean heavily against my best friend's side. I took a moment to breathe again and swallowed. "I was so overwhelmed and excited and happy... I thought...I thought this could be it ya know? This could be when I actually tell her and everything works out like in those stupid romance movies you make me watch."

She squeezes my shoulder and holds me tighter in her arms and I just bury my face into her neck, sobbing softly, my body shaking as I do.

"I'm going to kill her." Was Chelsea's deceptively calm reply after a few minutes.

I pick my head up, confused.

"Who? Ashley? No don't-"

"Not Ashley. Kyla! Stupid bitch can't-!"

My eyes widen and I hold up a hand to stop her impending bitch rant. "Whoa! Okay first of all I don't need you fighting my battles and second, you know I'm saving my special Chelsea "smack a bitch" card for when I really need it...you know next time Madison's on her period again." I cringe at the thought and shiver.

Chelsea doesn't say anything. But I can tell she's still mad though.

I sigh as another bitter thought floats through my skull like slippery acid. "God... ... I'm so embarrassed. That was not how I wanted Ashley to find out about my feelings. And we were making such progress! Or...at least I thought we were. Guess that's gone to hell too huh? Well that's pretty much a given. God I suck. I should have never agreed to do this stupid play to begin with."

Chelsea sighs tiredly and turns my head toward her.

"Girl look at me. You are not a loser - ah ah! _I'm_ talking. You are _not_ a loser. Never have been. Never fucking will be. You are the finest piece of dorky ass that has ever stepped foot in the halls of King High. You are bomb, blonde, and beautiful. Never doubt that. Ever. Or I'll beat the stupid right out of you and hug you till it sinks in."

"Is this a sick version of reverse therapy?" I asked softly, one fist rubbing the tears out of my eyeball.

"Chelsea style." She grins, squeezing my shoulder. Though her twinkling eyes tell me she's joking. Mostly.

"Now you lift that pretty chin up and flash those pretty blue eyes at anyone that dares tell you differently because obviously they didn't look hard enough."

I couldn't help but smile. Chelsea kinda had that affect on people. A well worded speech and a pearly white smile in your direction and you felt like warm goo in her hands.

It was getting late and Chelsea had offered to sleep over. Had even invited herself over at one point. But ultimately I sent her home, promising her I'd text her before I went to bed and told her I would be just dandy on my own. I was only half lying of course and I think she could tell, but she also knew that I was ready to be alone and, right now, I needed it. I had a lot to think over. And a hell of a lot to cry over.

Tomorrow was sure to suck. A lot. Like _a lot_ a lot.

Yay.

* * *

**So who all wants to give Spencer a hug? :( Me first! How do you think Ashley will handle tomorrow if she sees Spencer?**

**Also a little FYI: Ashey's POV might be next chapter. ;) So enjoy!**

**And I'm just throwing this out there but would someone be interested in making a cover art for this story. PM me and let me know! ^.^**


	22. One Way Or Another

**So here ya have it. The Next Day. Poor Spencer has some...ahem...surprises in store for her. Hee. ^^**

**Also I wanna give a very big thank you to ****lexi10290 ****for the cover art she made for me. Thanks bunches! ^.^**

**Anyways enjoy!**

* * *

**[13 Unread Text Messages]**

One bloodshot eye snaps open, peering around my surroundings furiously.

**Beep!**

I'm going to chuck it! I'm just going to chuck my phone against the wall! I'm serious! That thing has been beeping all damn night and morning. Course its not like it would have been such a big deal since I didn't get any sleep anyways. I had a nightmare about Ashley. Several, actually. To the point that I just woke up in a cold sweat and couldn't fall back asleep until hours later. The morning was not starting out well. At all. I would have just turned it off if it wasn't for the fact that I needed my phone to wake up in the morning. Stupid preset alarm. It woke me up too damn early this morning so I just turned it off and rolled back to sleep with a grumble.

**Beep!**

I sighed again.

This is getting annoying.

I reluctantly lift the brightly lit device that is my irritating cell phone and squint at the screen.

**[Inbox Full. Delete previous Text Messages to make room for new ones.]**

Ugh. I knew I shouldn't have wasted all that memory on those mindlessly addictive fowl chucking games.

I throw the stupid fucking contraption across the room. Except it doesn't hit the wall and shatter into a thousand stupid little pieces like I was hoping for petulantly. No. Instead, it hits my huge as hell pile of dirty laundry I had thrown in a corner the other day when I was trying to look nice for Ashley, slumping safely in relief with a soft thump.

I can't even take my irrational anger out on inanimate objects properly.

Oi. I am sooo not cut out for this moody shit.

I frowned deeply at the dirty clothes that runneth over in my hamper, my nick free cellphone gleaming mockingly in the center of the pile, my custom shirt and grey vest resting on the top of the hill underneath my phone, the ones I had wore for Ashley, ya know, back when I was so smitten and stupid and not heartbroken...well I'm still no genius.

My blue eyes narrow dangerously at the heap of dirty clothes.

God. Even a stupid pile of laundry is significant.

"Ugh!" I flop backwards on the bed.

This is shit.

I turn my head a little on the pillow and spot my oldest and most trusted (not to mention fuzziest) friend, Roody The Rabbit.

I smiled warmly at the worn looking stuffed animal and tug Roody's arm and pull him over to me, hugging him to my arms. It's weird I know. I'm eighteen and I still hug my childhood toy like I'm five again. No judging. I'm heartbroken and in desperate need of a hug. And Roody always gave the best hugs. Like no shit.

You're just jealous cause he loves me more.

_"One way or another I'm gonna find ya_

_I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha_

_One way or another I'm gonna win ya_

_I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha_

_One way or another I'm gonna see ya_

_I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetchaaaaa!"_

It's Chelsea. With her stupid creepy ringtone.

"Speak." I muttered gruffly.

"Where the hell are you?" Came the frustrated but slightly worried voice of my best friend. I pull the phone away from my ear a little as I sigh.

"Wallowing in my misfortunate life. Eating a bon bon. Jazzersizing. You?"

"Oh Lord. You are really taking the dramatic actress thing a little far, don't you think?"

Eh. I shrug and flick a piece of lint off Roody's little nose. "Maybe. But I'm not an actor. So you can blame being an angst ridden teenager on this one, but just this once." I say sardonically, squeezing my thumb and index finger together even though she couldn't see.

"Nope. Its the acting. It's forced you to exaggerate yourself in even scarier ways."

"I'm not acting. So can we just drop it and never mention that word again?"

"What? Acting? And where are you? Seriously. It's already second period."

I hesitate as I look around my messy room for inspiration for a lie.

"You're in your room like a bum aren't you?" She says flatly, it's not even a question. She knows I am.

Though I play it off cooly and finger Roody's fuzzy ear. "I admit nothing."

Chelsea sighs and mutters something under her breath. The next time she speaks her tone is especially soft, wrapping around me like a warm blanket on a cold night. I bury my head even more into my pillow. "Spencer. I'm sorry you're so sad and everything feels like shit right now, I get it. It sucks, but running the other way and hoping for that next pint of B & J's to make it all feel better is not going to work." I look guiltily at the two empty cups of Rocky Road on my nightstand. You're mocking me aren't you?

"Yeah. Well it worked for Kirstie Alley and then she got that reality show that suddenly disappeared after 2 weeks of air time." I trailed off, frowning. Suddenly my argument doesn't sound so solid.

"No, honey. She got fat and asked Jenny Craig for help." I can practically hear her brown eyes rolling.

"Oh... yeah. Almost forgot."

Chelsea sighed, probably rolling her eyes again at my response. "Spencer come to school. Please? Me and Xander will be around you all day long. So you don't have to feel alone."

"Yeah but you guys were getting so good at disappearing randomly for no reason. I don't want to break a streak."

A pause. "Would you rather me drag you out of bed?"

I squeaked and shot up in bed. "I-I mean...no reason to resort to threats."

"In my line of work and when I say work I mean babysitting both your asses, threats are usually a sure thing. So do I need to?"

I sighed, my chest filling deeply and expelling loudly. "Fine." I grumble. "But bitch if you leave me while-"

"We won't. I promise. Xander is doing something for his mom during his break. Something about an ointment she needed. I begged him to stop explaining so I really don't know the details. Thank Jesus and Mary."

I chuckled, it sounds rough and gross but it was something I guess.

"But we both should be there when you need us." She says sincerely.

I think it over for a few seconds and then slump my shoulders in resignation. "Okay. I'll be there. Since you've twisted and mangled my arm beyond recognition."

"Oh good! I'm glad. I'll be there before you know it. And don't come crawling outta your room looking like an urban camper. Dress like a human being if you please?"

"You really know how to warm a girl's heart miss Lewis."

"You know how I do." She says smoothly. And I chuckle again.

"Fine. Let me put on my other sad but descent looking face and I'll be ready in 20."

"Please and thank you. Be there soon."

"Kay. Bye."

"Bye honey. Click!-"

* * *

"Ready to go girl?"

"Yeah just let me grab my -"

"Are you going to school like that?" Chelsea asks with a look of slight distaste, her index finger pointed at me.

"What?" I look down at my attire.

"Why don't I just throw a smock on you?"

"Hey. There's no reason to be mean. You told me to not leave the house looking like a blonde hobo and I did, well...don't...err."

"Yes. But this...is not what I meant." She replied, waving her hand up and down.

"You just gestured to all of me." I said with a frown.

"Well there's a lot going wrong here. I mean how many layers do you need?"

Hey I'm being cautious okay. And hell no am I giving Ashley any opportunity to see an _inch_ of cleavage. Even my clavicle is sacred. Ooh maybe I should have put on a turtle neck too.

"What? It's nippy out there...isn't it?" I asked in hesitation.

She gave me a look like 'are you serious right now?' "No. It's like in the high 90's or something."

"Ooh. Well how lovely. Best not waste the day. Let's go!" She holds a hand up in front of me, pushing my face backwards.

"Nuh-huh. Get back up there and..._fix_ this."

"Quit with the gesturing!"

"Well quit with the stalling so I don't have furiously keep gesturing at you! Now go. Git!"

I scoffed and whipped my hair behind me. "How rude."

"You bet your skinny ass I am, now hurry up and change so I can get some damn coffee before we enter hell this morning."

"Roger!"

Several minutes later I come back down wearing light blue skinny jeans, and a soft blue t-shirt, the design of which looked like it had been airbrushed on my chest and down my right side with neon green and violet and lavender exploding in the picture. I wasn't really feeling colorful today but I know that wearing color would please Chelsea so here I am. My leather armband fashioned accordingly.

"Eh." She swivels her hand in the air. "It's better. I'm too brain dead right now to be overly controlling and dress you myself so let's just go so I can feel like less of a zombie." We walk outside and get in her car. "God help you blondie. I'm barely awake. I hope we get to school in one piece." She turns the key in the ignition and locks the doors. Especially _my_ door!

"That's so not something you tell someone after they get in your car and you lock the door."

"Oh it's not?" She clicks the automatic lock button again for good measure as she speeds down the street. I sink further down in my seat, saying a silent prayer in my head.

* * *

Chelsea had drove around town a little bit. Got her coffee, woke up...I think...I hope...and just bickered back and forth with me about stupid stuff till second period was over. By the time we got back it was passing period so I had enough time to get my books from my locker. When we parked, Xander was waiting for us by gate entrance. The whole school was gated in. For security reasons and what have you.

I close the door of Chelsea's little car and wait until she gets out and locks the car. I'm nervous and fidgety. My shoes have never looked so god damn interesting before and the sidewalk? Golly the sidewalk is magnificent I tell you! Yup.

Xander smiles widely when he sees me.

"Sup home skillet! How's my favorite little blonde lesbian this morning?" Xander chirps, slinging his arm around me. I look over at Chelsea, wondering if she had told him what happened. She probably knew I didn't want to repeat all the gory details of last evening and spared me the trouble. I'm relieved actually. Once was more than enough.

"Meh. Tired, but I'll live."

"Well I hope you stay awake long enough for lunch. Starbucks frappechinos and any greasy fast food joint you want. My treat." He flicks imaginary fuzz off my shoulder and grins at me. Well, that sure is nice of him...a little too nice.

Instead of just thanking him and being done with it, I shake my head. "You don't have to do that, Xan. I'm fine, really."

He raises an eyebrow. "Fine. You stay here and me and Chelsea will go have lunch _off_ campus..._away_ from...ahem _certain_ people." He wiggles his brows meaningfully and I can't help but smile. I kiss him on the cheek.

He coughs and looks away as he blushes because he's too damn manly to be this soft. "Well when you put it that way." I say with a tiny grin.

We walked to my locker and Xander stood by Chelsea on my left as I put in my combo.

Just when I finish with the lock and it pops its release I hear Chelsea scoff and Xander make a wincing sound.

"Oh you have _got_ to be shitting me." Chelsea growled. I turned to her confused ...and then turned my head in the direction she was looking at.

Oh.

Fuck.

I wasn't planning on seeing her this soo-

My eyes bulged at the sight in front of me, except I was surprised for more than one reason. Ashley Davies stood before us, yes, but she was also sporting a nasty cut on the side of her bottom lip, it was slightly swollen and had an unhealthy looking bruise around the corner of her mouth. Whoever gave her that had one hell of right hook. I glance suspiciously in Chelsea's direction, who is too busy raising her eyebrow and glaring hatefully at the same time.

"Ya need something Davies?" Chelsea asked, her voice chilled, but heavy with something dangerous. Mama bear was pissed.

Red fucking alert people. This is not a drill! I repeat - NOT A DRILL!

Ashley ignores her and looks at me.

"Hey Spen-"

"I said did you _need_ something?" Chelsea spits. Her features are harsh but her tone hasn't raised at all. Which makes her seem that much more scary. She was not fucking around here people.

I slowly open my locker door and wonder briefly if sticking my whole head in it would be seen as cowardly.

"I-" Ashley darts her eyes from Chelsea and then me. She clears her throat. "I was wondering if I could talk to Spencer."

"Yeah well keep dreaming cuz Spencer ain't really in a chatty mood today." Chelsea's eyes narrow. "I wonder why that is."

Ashley flinches and looks down at her hands, toying with the rings on her fingers.

"I just wanted to say I'm -"

"Yeah well apology not fucking accepted...so you can run along now." I closed my eyes and kept my head in my locker like an ostrich. "And tell your fucking sister to go jump off a cliff while you're at it."

"Don't worry. I think she got the message." I heard Ashley mutter darkly to herself. I'm trying my hardest not to be curious about what she meant by that but I shake it off and blink the thought away.

I waited a moment. "Is she gone...?" I asked from deep in my locker, my voice echoing slightly.

Chelsea's voice was soft when she spoke. "Yeah. She's gone Spence." She runs my back soothingly. "You okay?"

I take a deep breath. My hands were shaking. I felt like crumbling in her arms again but I knew I couldn't do that here. "Yes... ...no. I'll be fine though. Just gotta...adjust...ya know?" I shrug a little.

Chelsea's eyes are sad but she nods anyway. "Yeah. Wish you didn't have to though."

I chuckled humorlessly. "You and me both."

The bell rings, warning us to get our asses to class in the next seven minutes.

"I have Pre-Cal with Suarez." Which is all the way in another building. Our school was built weird. Different classes were sectioned in different buildings. Like English and history in one and tech classes and mathematics in another.

I had English this period.

Chelsea looks at me a moment and squeezes my arm. "Text me if you need me, kay?"

I nod and squeeze the hand on my bicep. "Pinky swear."

She smiles, squeezes again and leaves with Xander right on her heels. Xander offered me an encouraging smile and a salute as he leaves. I wave and just close my locker, forgetting exactly what it was I needed in the first place. Today was shaping up to be a long ass day.

"Hey dyke!"

I clench my eyes shut and grit my teeth tightly.

And it just got longer.

* * *

**Yeah yeah so I know I said this chapter would be Ashley's but I was worried that the timing would be off to submit it. Just a little FYI her POV will be starting from the beginning of the story and working her way forward. At a much faster pace than our dear Spencer of course but you get the gist. So how would you guys feel with me still posting it? I'm gunna do it regardless but I'm still curious what you guy's might think. Anyways. RANTING! Stopping now.**

**Another update will be posted in the next couple days so review and it might be up sooner. -.^ Thanks so much for all the support guys. I can't tell you how excited it makes me that you're enjoying this story without me coming off completely deranged and intense. Lol. I kid. :)**

**Anyways...**

**REVIEW!**


	23. Darn Inappropriate Wind

**Have I told you how much I love you yet?**

**No? **

**Well darn me. Cuz I do. Like a lot! You guys were amazing with the reviews! I would have had this up a few days ago but I got stuck a little as I was writing this. I'm still not completely happy with it but I wanted to get it posted for ya since you guys delivered with the love. Fair is fair of course. ;D**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Ignore her Spencer. Just...walk...away. Now._

I open my eyes slowly and grip the straps of my bag tighter and begin doing just that.

"Hey! I'm talking to you dyke."

_Spencer just keep your mouth shut-_

No hold on a minute- "Oh I heard. I just don't care. Later hater." I say flatly.

"Hey - don't you walk away from me!"

This time I decide the smart route would be to _actually_ ignore her this time.

I feel a sharp tug to my elbow and I'm spinning around so fast I almost fall on someone. The worst part is that I actually _do_ fall on her and wind up encircled in strong, tan arms.

What. The...ooooooh my God!

For some reason getting out of her arms is more difficult than I expected and what the...? Is she holding me tighter?! Oh my God she's gunna kill me!

I roughly push off her, giving her the best wtf look I can manage while still contemplating whether or not I actually felt my butt being squeezed.

Um...awkward.

No she _totally_ didn't just -pfffffffft! I'm ...yeah... uh no. It was probably just...a _really_ strong and wholly inappropriate breeze. Yeah. Totally makes sense.

_You're an idiot._

Madison looks slightly annoyed and then even more so when I back away from her a little bit wearily, both my hands shielding my derier from what I'm hoping was accidental gropage.

_No the _wind_ did it, remember?_

Are you being sarcastic? Because I think I'm traumatized and I can't really be too sure of anything right now.

_...Wow...just never mind...I'm not even going to touch that enormous exaggeration right now._

I squint in confusion, my thoughts only messing with my head further.

_It's not that hard really._

Be nice.

_No._

Before I can think of a witty put down to myself, Madison is subtracting the space that I added between us, effectively towering over me. Well...this is new. Her eyes narrow as she watches me. Personal space becoming an issue.

"Where were you first period? That's not like you to just not show up. What were you doing?"

My mind spins at the random questions. "I was asleep, um okay, and sleeping. Can I go now?" I don't have time to be witty and colorful with my words. I barely have the higher brain function this morning to stand without swaying.

Madison glares at me, her eyes darting all over my face. She's silent as her eyes take in my dark circles under my own eyes and the slump of my shoulders that I can't seem to lift into the appropriate posture.

"What happened to you?"

I was right. This is exhausting. I sigh and shake my head, annoyed.

"I woke up. What's your excuse? Did ya wake up without a soul this morning?" Madison almost smiles if not for the frown that followed when I yawned in my hand.

She opens her mouth to say something but I cut her off with a frantic wave of my hands. "Ugh. I don't have time for this. I gotta get to class. Enjoy your...um yeah...whatever..." I mumble, I grumble and then I leave.

I hate this morning.

Surprisingly Madison doesn't shout after me so I take that as a sign to just get the hell out of there before she decides otherwise.

_Walk faster motherfucker!_

The class passes by without me retaining anything. I can't think so why bother. I hate feeling like this but pulling myself out of my own funk is harder than it sounds.

I'm just glad that I only have one more class before lunch. Xander and Chelsea are amazing. I don't think I can function at all without one of them on either side of me, holding me up, supporting me. I just hope they both know I'd do the same of the roles were reversed.

Realizing I'm lacking a particular book in my arms that I needed for my next class my locker was my next stop. I texted Chelsea that I was on my way to our joint class and that I would be there in a second. She offered to walk me but I told her I'd be fine. I mean how much trouble can I possibly get into by visiting my locker unattended?

_Please don't make me answer that. The various scenarios I can come up with scare me._

No one asked you.

_Like that's stopped me from throwing my two cents at you before._

Good point.

At that particular thought, I stood grumpily at my locker, I hadn't been able to retrieve the right books last period after my last encounter with 'you know who', opening it up I grabbed the necessary things for the day before closing it to find someone standing on the other side.

"Tits!" I squeaked loudly, my fingers fumbling awkwardly around the bindings of the books and various crap in my arms.

Oh my... ugh. You've got to be kidding me.

I think my heart is going to wish I fired it and just stop working all together. God!

I can't think. My brain has skipped town and left a rickety 'for sale' sign on my forehead. All the usual, normal, and very logical questions that you'd expect to flash in front of my brain were dead on the wire, flat and pointless. I saw them all and none of them seemed more important than the other. Why are you here? What do you want now? Is this a bad dream? Why won't you leave me alone? Hold me?

Pathetic.

Ashley stands there, looking just as painfully beautiful as when I last left her standing on someone else's lawn, yelling my name to come back. I used every bit of energy last night to dilute the images and blur the memories as much as I could but all it took was one moment in Ashley's presence and the images are just as vibrant and clear as they were yesterday afternoon when I was living them.

"Lu-I mean..."She sighs before speaking again. "Spencer...can we talk?" Her voice is nervous, small and it's scary how much it sounds nothing like Ashley herself. I hated how hesitant she sounded but I hated how concerned it made me for her even more. I shook my head.

"No we can't." I said stuffing the junk I pulled out of my locker hurriedly into my bag. I can't even look at her. Why won't anything fit in here?

Grr. Forget it. I stuff most of what I can fit in there and carry the rest half hazardously in my arms.

"Here. Let me carry that for you." Ashley says gently and reaches to take the offending books from my arms but I pull them away before she can.

"No. I got it. I don't need your help." I snap, moving the junk in my arms away from her helpful hands. Ashley looks hurt at my statement and I wish I could just will the guilt away but I can't. "I mean ...help...I don't need anybody's help." It's not a band aid. It doesn't make anything better. But it's obvious I wasn't trying to be rude. I think.

Ashley nods, smiling weakly. "Okay."

We walk silently as we maneuver the hallways. I know where I'm going. Ashley just matches my retreat, following me without a word.

"What class do you have next?" She asks, her gaze seeking out mine as I stare straight ahead.

"A boring one." I mutter with disinterest.

She nods and looks at the floor as we walk. I know she's not going in the direction of her class. Hers is on the other side of campus. Xander has class with her this period. She's following me and I wish she wouldn't.

I wish I had the courage to stop our pace completely and tell her to leave me alone but something inside begs me not to. I guess I really am a masochist.

Yay me.

I can see my class number straight ahead and all I can think is salvation!

Except...

There's just this one little annoying bit of me inside that wishes that door didn't need my entry so soon, that maybe I could linger here...with her-

No!...just...no...don't go there. Anywhere near...there.

I stop before I reach the door. Ashley stops also. I take a breath and turn slowly on my heel, facing her with a nervous expression.

"So I uh...gotta get to class." I gestured with my thumb lazily to the door behind me. Ashley looks over my shoulder and nods, then looks back down at her bruised knuckle, rubbing the skin's new bloom of color absentmindedly. A part of me wants to ask where she got her wounds but that would require engaging in voluntary conversation with her and that's just...no. Not happening.

"Yeah yeah ...sure. I um...I guess I'll see you later."

God I hope not.

"Maybe." I said softly.

Seriously? _Maybe?_ Um no. There is no _maybe_. She's...she's...well just no. Don't go there Spencer. Don't give her hope, especially yourself. It's not happening. Not now. And...and probably not ever after last night.

My lips turn down considerably at that thought. Oh my...

I watch uneasily as Ashley swallows roughly. I want to leave but I can't move. Ashley has seen it as her suicide mission to ...do whatever it is she's doing and though I don't owe her anything, I'm ashamed to say I've missed h...well...I miss a lot of things. Ugh. Why am I still thinking?

I open my mouth to say something, anything to fill the tense silence between us but Ashley beats me to it.

"Look Spencer...about last night. I-"

No. I'm not listening to this.

I stop her with a shaky hand in the air, fingers trembling together a little.

Dammit Spencer get a grip.

"Can we not...I just….I need to go away now and just be…away." I mumbled lamely as I turn away from her quickly. A soft hand clasps gently around my wrist before I can go too far, freezing my body on the spot.

"Spencer I-" Her mouth opens ...and then closes and I wish I was miles away from her next words. "I'm sorry...okay? I'm so sorry."

My eyes close, pushing the tears at the back of my skull for another time when I'm finally alone. She's sorry. She's sorry? God. Doesn't she realize that just makes it worse. She's sorry for...what? Kissing me? Breaking my heart? Me hearing Kyla? Elaborate woman!

I open them slowly and look at the girl that had my heart but I guess only wanted to play with it when she was bored.

I smile. It's broken and stifled and it's painful just wearing it. "No you're not...or you wouldn't have kissed me." My lip twitches as I pull away from her warm hand, her contradictory fingertips, soft yet calloused, and walk quickly to the door.

Chelsea looked at me sharply when I entered, but I didn't say a word. I couldn't. I didn't want to.

Roughly forty five minutes later and I'm standing up with my bag on my shoulder before the bell even rings.

Chelsea calls my name when I leave but I can't seem to stop moving. I just really want to find Xander and leave this place.

I see Xander coming up behind her, his expression turning troubled when he sees me. He opens his mouth to say something but Chelsea stops us in the hall, pulling me gently away from the crowd to the brick wall that was now empty of the usual loitering teenagers. Xander looked wearily at me and simply followed without comment. "Baby girl...what's wrong?"

I shook my head. Where do I even start?

My eyes are down cast as my brain churns unsteadily. God. Where do I fucking begin?

"From the beginning hun."

"Am I thinking out loud again?"

"Yeah."

"Yup."

"Crap."

My Dad thinks its just a quirk I have, one that he also is cursed with, as luck would have it. It's just a weird way in how I process things. When there's no more room in my brain for thought I start talking out loud without realizing.

"What happened?"

I shake my head roughly, blonde hair whipping left and right. "I...I can't talk about it...not here."

Chelsea nods and takes my arm, her elbow wrapping around it, her other hand holding mine in gently. Xander takes that as his cue and his arm is wrapping around my shoulders as he leads all three of us to the parking lot.

"So wanna stay with me this weekend?" Chelsea asks with a soft smile. I nod at the idea. I could do with a mental health day. I'm pretty sure I'm overdue for one. Or a week. Or eight.

* * *

**So think of this chapter as a part 1. The rest is on its way. But I had most of this finished so updating sooner like I said I would seemed better than waiting for me to write 4000 more words. :) So here ya go!**

**Dont worry about Ashley too much. Spencer and her will sort things out...eventually. ;) Promise!**

**So about Ashley's POV...would any of you be interested in reading her perspective as if it was a spin off? Posted as a separate story but relevant to this story? If that makes any sense at all. Lol. Let me know. I have ideas for her but some of you aren't interested in reading her POV from the beginning. I have a lot written for her already but whether anyone reads it kinda shapes whether or not I post it.**

**Thanks for reading guys! Review pwease! ;D**

**Also...THANK YOU NICOLE! XD**

**- Lil' Miss**


	24. All Those Pretty Lights

**So the way I see it, this is merely a test run, if you will. I'm going to see how this goes and how its received by you guys and if enough people like it, I'll continue with Ashley's spin off but in a separate story, however it wilover course still pertain to this one...obviously. Its going to move _much_ faster than _This Is For Real_, mind you because I'm wanting to pick at Ms. Davies' brain during the ...ahem...intense moments.**

**If you're new to this story and have NO EFFING CLUE WHATS GOING ON...ya might wanna read _This Is For Real_ before reading this. Might make more sense that way. Jus' sayin'. But do whatcha want. ;D**

**So! With that being said yada yada yada ...here's Ashley's POV.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Damn it was cold today. I pity anyone who has to work out in this weather. The temperature had dropped like ten degrees last night and it was only getting colder. Which is to be expected I guess. It is fall after all.

Ugh. I'm so tired. Even my inner musings are boring me. The weather? Really Ashley?

Whatever. Once I get my daily intake of caffeine I'll be all smiles for Kyla. Lord knows I needed all the help I could get. I love my sister. I do. Really? Swear on Brandi's sex appeal...but _fuck_ was she beginning to grate painfully on my nerves. She was seriously stressed over this play that was coming up and her OCD must have been shooting up crack because damn was she crazy. Well more than usual anyway. I was honored when she asked me to play her leading lady. Really and truly. I honestly wasn't expecting it. Once she actually let me read the script, the one she had kept to herself and hissed at anyone who asked about it for months, I was actually in love with the story. The characters were believable and beautiful in their own way and the plot was gripping and didn't let you go until the very end.

My first thought was that a high school production was going to authorize this? I mean it wasn't risqué or anything. It wasn't obscene or violent. It was sweet and an epic love story for the current generation. A sort of modern Romeo & Juliet meets any other teen romance movie that doesn't completely suck. But it also wasn't expected or an overdone Shakespeare classic either. So how come King High Theatre club is featuring this? Wonder how Kyla managed that. But then again, it's Kyla. She probably threatened someone.

My only concern was who was going to play Colby. My supposed dorky but handsome love interest. Kyla was so anal and such an uber control freak that guys were really going to have a hard time even breathing correctly without getting booted off for not breathing the way 'Colby' would. Okay maybe that was inaccurate and an exaggeration but whatever. Bottom line is my sister is crazy anal and whoever ended up playing the guy was going to be eating shit if he didn't know what he was doing. Thats all I'm saying.

I sipped my coffee with a smile, totally blissed out and moaning softly as my eyes managed to roll themselves backwards.

Mmm. I needed that. Hit the motherfucking spot. I took a slow, necessary sip from my drink as I looked out into the quad. I was parked in my nice warm car and waiting for the damn bell to ring. Hell no was I going out there. I stirred the caramel colored liquid carefully with the thin green straw and watched as it funneled and swirled in the cup.

Ugh. I'm so boring this morning.

Licking the leftover drop of coffee goodness off my bottom lip, I picked my head up just as an unfamiliar hooded blonde guy walked by my car. Hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his green hoodie. His jacket was zipped up to the bunch of his black scarf as one tail whipped wildly in the morning breeze. His big shades obscured most of his face so I wouldn't even be able to tell you exactly what he looked like or how cute he was. The only thing I could go on was that he had the cutest butt I have ever seen. Any guy or girl I've seen in passing before couldn't compare. His ass was phe-nom-enal. I found myself fixed on it hungrily, bottom lip wedged tightly between my teeth as my eyes tracked that glorious ass for most of his walk.

That is, until he was intercepted by a pretty black girl. I narrowed my eyes when said girl locked her elbow with his and smiled at him, looking pretty cozy on his arm, like she had done it many times before. Where do I know her from? As I wondered vaguely if I may have had the girl in a class at some point and had simply forgotten like a douche, a tall guy with shaggy brown hair and a dimpled grin nudged the blonde and wiggled his fingers at him.

Huh? They must just be his friends.

Well, _duh_ Ashley.

I sighed and figured that was enough creeping for one day. I unlocked the door, opening it before I switched my coffee cup from my right to my left and grabbed my purse and books and stepped out of the car.

I had to meet Kyla and give her back her notes that I borrowed before I could make it to my next class. Not that I wanted to be early or anything. When I found her hanging out in Mrs. P's room with Andi, Kyla gave me her usual drivel. _'Be in the auditorium by 3. No later or I will kill you in your sleep and make it look like an accident. Yada yada..._' I rolled my eyes, expecting the empty, but still creepy threat and told her to get some new material. Which ...she didn't take too kindly to apparently. She has issues with criticism of any kind. She's working on it. But until then we bickered back and forth. Like for instance...

Kyla's answer was quick. "Bite me tramp!"

"Can't. I'm on a _fat free_ diet." I smirked.

She shot her head around with a gasp, then gave me a dirty look. "About time you went on one. I can hear the seams in your pants screaming from across the room."

The comment instantly rolled over my shoulders. "What can I say? I like my pretty things tight." I smirked suggestively, winking. Kyla rolled her eyes.

"Slut."

"Bitch."

"Whore."

"Bitchass."

"Cooter."

"Ooh! Someone's getting creative." I tease with a smirk, high-fiving her. She grins smugly and claps my raised hand.

"It was better than bitchass, that's for sure."

"Yeah I was having a dry spell for a moment. Nice though."

"I'm awesome. At least you admit it." Kyla was going to suffocate us with that swelling ego of hers.

"Don't make me slap you sis. You're beginning to get irritating again. No one would blame me if I did."

Kyla shrugged.

We bickered, unsurprisingly. We always bickered. Like a freaking ...well like sisters. The old married couple analogy doesn't seem to fit. And plus...just ew.

Again, unsurprisingly, we eventually got into each other's face, insulting the other. I'll bite. We're a strange pair. I'll admit it. Though she's way more unstable than I am, hence why I normally give into her when she asks me to do something for her. There's only so many times I can replace my lingerie before she gets bored with the punishment and starts getting creative. Perish the thought.

So here we were, arguing, nothing new there. She told me to bite her and I told her to suck it from which she instructed me to jump off a really high location and from there I reminded her that if I did that then she would have no Misty.

...she opened her mouth. Closed it and rolled her eyes with a huff.

Oooh. Ashley 1. Crazy ass drama queen? 0.

My morning was going pretty well so far. I took a satisfying sip from my coffee and winked at Andi. I flashed Kyla a smirk over my shoulder and left the classroom once the bell rang.

By the time school was over, which passed by way too quickly for my liking, I was walking down the corridor to the auditorium. I went passed the main entrance and straight to the back door where most of the 'magic' happens. Well if you call punk ass teenagers sniffing left over cans of paint and giggling like idiots into the headset talkies when the sound techs are waiting for their cues from the stage hands down below while the techs are up on the second balcony then yes, it's simply magical. I gripe from experience.

I've been doing this too long that I have griping rights. I've fucking earned it. Damn freshmen.

So I've been wandering around the back for a good ten minutes, feeling like a complete idiot as I searched fruitlessly for Kyla's bony ass.

Where the hell is my coffee?!

The she-diva promised me coffee and a freaking cookie if I went to this thing without fuss. Those were her exact words. Seriously. She texted me during third, her damn study hall, or as I like to call it: 'the only free time I have to go make googly eyes at Andi and get her all hot and bothered making Ashley's third period totally awkward as fuck'.

Oh yeah I knew about that. Anyways, the little twerp bribed me with baked goods and a caffeinated beverage - Which I'm not seeing! Not that it didn't work because obviously I showed up. Bitch knows how to play dirty. Also it kinda helped that she didn't call me skank bag when she asked. Oh no. Ha! I forgot. She called me that _this morning_ so I guess she got it all out of her system for now. Lucky me.

If I remember correctly, Kyla said that under no circumstances, unless properly instructed by the director, meaning her highness, am I allowed to cross the curtain during auditions/rehearsals (dress or otherwise) if I happen to get stuck there. I can just go the long way around.

Fuck that!

I grunted in frustration, finally giving into one of my many delicious addictions. Thirst and boredom won out as I traipsed carefully in the dark in search of the stage door that separates the backstage area and connects to either the hallway, back where you came from, or the stairs leading down to the audience's seating area.

Opening and softly closing the black door behind me, I immediately spotted Kyla shuffling papers around and mumbling to herself. She was clearly stressed out about overseeing the auditions and the decision making and God knows what else she had to do in order for the play to be a success and not a flaming hopeless disaster. Mrs. P's sudden departure was greatly felt. At least Andi's here to help the play along and more importantly soothe Kyla's 'bitch I want to cut you in your sleep' attitudes. Thank God for that. A girl needs her sleep and I can't do much of that with one eye open all damn night.

I watched as the slightly older woman smiled fondly at a fidgety Kyla, amusement shining in her eyes. I grinned and shook my head. Nah, I thought. Andi's a veteran so I have no doubt that she'll know what to do. If anyone can calm the crazy ass beast that Kyla is known to turn into when she is under a lot of stress, it'd be Andi.

Smiling softly at the look in Andi's eyes as she watched my sister, I calmly made my way on stage. I walked toward the center of the stage with the intention of getting Kyla to look up and become aware of my presence. I opened my arms slightly and arched an eyebrow.

"Okay bitch I'm here. Now what? And where be my coffee?"

"Sitting cold in Mrs. P's classroom. Now would you please get off my stage? Auditions should be starting any minute now."

"Cold? Seriously?" I narrowed my eyes at her. Kyla smiled and shrugged. Her irritating smile told me she was only kidding so I let that slide. I open my mouth to say something snarky and justifiably rude but - "Aaaggghh! Owieowieowie owwwwww!" - interrupted me.

I raised an eyebrow as I glanced over to the far back rows where I'm sure the sound came from. Hushed chatter was heard from the rest of the small, scattered audience but my eyes were more interested on the shadowed silhouette in the back. I squinted my eyes, trying to adjust to the bright light shining above me, obscuring my view of the back, but it didn't help. I still couldn't make out who was back there.

Shrugging and rolling my eyes at the pained shrieking, I motioned with my thumb to the curtains as my eyes found Kyla's. Getting the gist, my sister fanned her hand toward me, shooing me away.

I figured getting my coffee would kill some time before the auditions start. I don't even know why I'm here. Kyla never explained why I needed to be here. just said that it was important and that she needed me here. I'm too good to her. Kyla's the only one that can get me to do the most boring things simply because she asked.

Yup. I'm way too awesome for her.

Ugh. Now I'm starting to sound like Kyla.

Anyways, coffee retrieved, caffeine dispensed and I was ready to sit back stage doing absolutely nothing for the next hour or two till Kyla unhooked my leash.

I grabbed a chair from the far wall where I know the heavier props, like tables and a few foldable metal chairs would be and propped it up near the slight gap in the curtains. Kyla told me to stay back here for most of the auditions and instead of arguing with her I rolled my eyes and agreed, saying she totally owed me for most likely dying of boredom after this stuff was all done. Also, passing the curtains was off limits. But she said nothing about peeking through them so...yeah...I'm not really sure what I win out of that.

And if I do anyway without her go ahead her solution to the problem was a threat. She said she'd set all my clothes on fire. I'm totally serious right now. She threatened my freakin' closet! Without fashionable designer clothes to live there what purpose is there for my closet?! She's insane okay?

That's what I have to live with. The possibility of waking up the next morning and having all my clothes thrown in the pool because I told her shirt was looking a little snug.

What?! From me that's a compliment! She's been dying to grow boobs. I thought they were finally taking up residency.

Or finding that all the straps in my bras snipped and the scissors laying accusingly on my dresser. Just because I told her sophomore year that Jason Cunney was a fucking tool and would probably ditch her ass if she gave it up to him on the first or second date.

What?! I was concerned. Jason fucking Cunney is a man-whore, okay? I thought I was helping.

Needless to say I had to walk into school bra less. On a cloudless 92 degree morning and with the day only getting hotter. I fucking hate my sister sometimes.

So just as a precaution, and from past trauma, I am not going through that curtain. Uh-huh. I told Kyla I'd be here and I am. Can only ask so much of a girl. I'll just sit here and ponder life's great mysteries.

...

...God I'm bored.

Well this is no fun at all.

The next few moments I listen as Andi, the mature one in the group...literally, basically tells people to shut the hell up in that dorky, polite way of hers. Another way in which her and Kyla differed. Kyla would have just told people to shut the hell up and then shouted into the mic till everyone was wailing and covering their ears in pain.

Yup. Very different.

Kyla blathers on for a good while, explaining the process of how auditions go, what the audionees should expect, yada yada yada.

Soon auditions are underway. Finally. I actually love theatre, though if anyone else asked me if I did I'd deny it, saying that Kyla was the only one that enjoyed it. That it was just her thing, not mine. Kyla had got me involved and eventually invested in the art but it was truly her passion, not mine. Music was my thing. I enjoyed acting though, don't get me wrong. Loved it even. But given a choice between performing music or performing _in_ a musical, I'd pick hugging an acoustic guitar on the big stage every time.

At this point I was so far in my musings, random lyrics with no rhythmn or purpose flitted between my ears, silent music swimming in and out of each verse I happened to make up on the spot. I see movement through the gap in the curtains and watch absentmindly as a cute unassuming little freshman waved at Kyla and introduced herself in somewhat adorable fashion. I smiled at the sight of pig tails and over alls on the tiny little girl. God. She looked like she was freaking twelve. I watched with slight amusement at her childish demenor, wondering what she was about to do impress my sister.

* * *

**8 Minutes Later...**

* * *

Okay that was just creepy. I don't care how sweet and innocent she looks. Those pigtails ain't foolin' me. Probably a good idea to hide all the power tools and hand saws just to be safe.

I find myself shivering at the thought.

Though I will give her props, girl has mighty big balls to go up there on that big stage and still saw off her foot...falsely, of course.

As soon as the thought is sung in my brain it's seems like its heard from the audience...well one member of it anyway. I watch with a slow smile as one audience member shoots up from their seat and starts clapping excitedly, loudly congratulating the now blushing but freaking scary girl on stage. Said girl grins widely as the remaining audience slowly follows the faceless lone enthusiasts lead and claps themselves.

I peek onto the stage from the crack in the curtains, watching as another auditionee shuffles on stage, hand shoved deep into green pockets. I took in all I needed to see, noticing with utter delight a flash of golden hair and tanned skin as Kyla's next doomed contestant stood nervously behind the microphone. My eyes dropped down and I smirked. Mmm. I'd know that ass anywhere. Maybe now I can finally get a name instead of referring to him by his delicious body feature.

Though name or not, that probably won't stop me.

"Hey Spence." Kyla greets friendly.

So that's his name. Cute.

"Yeah well for a dude, Spencer's got pretty hair." I muttered to myself.

I watch as the boy speaks into the mic and...and wait...he -he doesn't sound like a guy! ... Holy vagina. I mean it - she's a - fuckin' A! Ashley you're an idiot! He's a she...goddamn it. Oh hell. I can't believe I thought he was - _she_ was a guy this whole time. Wow. In my defense, its fucking hard to tell with her hoodie and the fact that she had it over her head every time I saw her or caught a glimpse of her in the hallway.

Not that I was looking for her in the hallways and in my classes and during lunch...or anything.

Yeah that's the only defense I got. But I mean...how the hell was I supposed to know?

Okay I may have been mostly paying attention to her ass but seriously, with an ass like that it's pretty fucking hard summoning the will to pull your eyes away.

Not that I _tried_.

I mean, I'm still looking at it.

Spencer looks really nervous as she fiddles with her fingers on stage that I have to hold back the adored coo in my throat.

Kyla uses her 'comforting' voice as she coexes Spencer to shed her nerves. Its kinda working but Spencer still appears nervous.

Poor thing.

I'm too focused on Spencer to make out what they're saying to each other that I almost miss the conversation.

Well...until Kyla's saying my name.

Guess that's my cue.

* * *

**So...how was that for Ashley's first POV? Love it? Hate it? Tell me. I can handle it. *puffs out chest in a very macho like fashion***

**- Lil' Miss**


	25. Chocolate Milk And Liquid Crack

**Heeeeyyy! XD So this current chapter is dedicated to _The Doctor_. You're the main reason I just posted after you reviewed like twenty minutes ago so thank you for the boost in confidence. :) In fact, thank you to all of you who reviewed and such. **

**Your guys' response to the last chapter was (OH MY GOSH!) overwhelming. Its made me more confident with writing Ashley's POV sometime later down the line. Though, I will say, that I won't be working on her side of the story until _AFTER _I finish Spencer's. Seems only fair after all. I mean she **_**was**_** here first. ;) Though I will post the first chapter you guys have already read to get things started. Reviews aren't nesseccary of course, I'm merely mentioning. Consider this a MEMO. :D**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

So just as Xander promised, we had taken off shortly after the bell had rung and piled into his truck, promising to come back to get Chelsea's car once we were finished with lunch.

Apparently we weren't coming back to school except for that reason. They figured the fact that it was Friday and Ashley's mere attendance today was all the excuse they needed to play hooky for the rest of the day.

You won't see me complaining. Especially since Madison has creeped me out enough that just the thought of seeing her in my upcoming periods sent an unwanted shiver down my spine. Yeah. No, I'm good.

I wasn't really in the mood to eat, though. I kinda just wanted to sit somewhere and stare blankly into the distance like any other dramatic teenager would do when overwhelmed. Yeah, that sounds _awesome_ right now. Let's do that.

Ugh. The angst.

Thank baby Jeebus for these weirdos.

No, really. I'm being serious. For once in my life.

And at any rate, this is probably gunna sound weird, but...have you ever felt too appreciated by people? Like, you're not quite sure what you did, in this life or perhaps another, to deserve such kind treatment. Such protection and loyalty. Maybe I'm doing that annoying thing where I over analyze way too much and scare myself in the process. Except, I can't help but wonder what I could have done to deserve such amazing friends. Though, yes, admittedly, they're both wierd and sometimes a little unhinged in their greater moments but I would be lying if I said I didn't love them in those moments even more.

I love my friends. I really do. Yes, they can annoy me sometimes and neither of them quite know what _boundaries_ mean, but they're still there for me. They're still here, right now. Holding my hand on either side of me, listening to me as I explain to them everything that has happened today, whether they were there to witness it or not as we sat in a corner booth at some local Ma and Pa place that Xander liked. They didn't mind that I was a blubbery mess and most of my words were garbled and soggy when I let them free from my throat. I had held them there all day and it had been such a relief to finally let them out, let them free for my best friends to catch ahold of and grip tightly. They're both so incredible. Chelsea, with her scary intensity but extremely warm heart and tight, _gut crushing, _eyeball popping hugs, and Xander with his...um with his ...uh... ya know, his dorkiness and general assholeness.

Yeah. All _that _stuff.

He's a lovable asshole at least. The fact that he pretends to be super macho but has the heart of a fudgey squooshy teddy bear is the only reason I keep him around. That ...and he has awesome hair. Its true. Dude's got chestnut locks like a thorough bred stallion. Albeit, not as long or course but the sentiment still seems appropriate.

Anyways ..._moving on_...

With a final noisy sniff from me and a tight hug from Xander and Chelsea, respectively, Chelsea announced the idea that kick starting our weekend early was for the best.

But supplies were a _must_.

Seriously I needed my sugar. Especially once Xander announced, as well that we were going to go ahead with that Kung-fu marathon we had planned...the one that I had conveniently bailed on. The one that I had hoped I had avoided completely. Apparently not!

So with _that_ news, I definitely needed some sugar. Or I'll die of boredom. And eventually start understanding what the heck they're saying in Chinese.

This time I'm _not_ exaggerating. I swear.

Anyways...where was I? Oh, yes.

To the grocery store! Da ta daaa!

* * *

The three of us made our way through the sliding double doors and Xander left to go get a cart. Me and Chelsea stood, waiting for him to return and when he did I found myself getting oddly excited.

"So, how are we gunna do this _thang_? We split up and meet back here at 1300?" I asked firmly, my hands running together vigorously. I was a hyper woman on a mission. The promise of sugar had me motivated dammit.

_Chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate choco-_

_... _I shook my head, blinking. Um. Sorry about that.

Chelsea smiled, amused at my enthusiasm. Xander looked at me for a moment, tapping his chin with his finger. "_Oooor_ we could just go from aisle to aisle and get what we need without turning this into a horrible Mission Impossible rendition."

Ah. Yes. That could work I suppose. Though that last part sounded _way_ more fun. "Then there's that." I said with a nod. "Anyways. Gimme the list. I wanna look see." I wiggled my fingers in expectation.

"No. It's my list. I wrote it." Xander sticks his tongue out, leaning away as he pulls out the crumpled leaf of notebook paper out of his jean pocket.

"What are you, twelve?"

Xander narrows his eyes at me. "Fine. You can look, but that's it."

"Darn and here I was gunna rub it all over myself." I scoffed. "Ruin all my fun." I mutter sarcastically. Xander shoves me slightly and I shove him back with a cute glare.

We continue this form of battle until it suddenly gets to a point where we might end up slap fighting each other in the dairy section.

Coming up behind us, Chelsea claps both of us on the shoulders gently, smiling as she leans her head between both of ours.

"So you guys look like you've got everything handled." She says with a chuckle. "I'll be back, m'kay?"

Xander and I subtly shoved each other, muttering, "Uh-huh..." "Yeah whatever..." as we looked at the list, waving her off dismissively. Once we stopped shoving each other like feuding toddlers and figured out what we needed to get, all seemed well between us again. Like it always was.

"So on to the extremely unhealthy snacks then?" Xander grinned, getting excited as he made a show of unfurling the crumbled list with a snap.

I skipped merrily along side him. The thought of chocolate did strange things for my behavior. Good things. Smiley things. "Yup yup!" I chirped.

Xander grinned at my happy expression and looked at the list with a steely concentration. "Kay...so first things first...liquid crack?"

I nodded and lifted a twelve pack of Coke and put that and a twelve pack of Dr. Pepper in the cart. "Check."

He crossed that off the list and we turned the cart into another aisle.

"Butt enlargers?"

I looked around the shelves and then went to go grab two bags of Doritos as we made our way passed.

"Check. Oh yummy!" I chucked a bag of Funyons in as well. "Yup. Definite checkeroony!"

Xander gave a firm nod and crossed that off the list.

"Artery cloggers?"

I thought of what to snag to fill that request but came up empty as I looked at the options in front of me. "Or we could just order pizza from that little place down the street from your house." I offered knowingly. After a moment he tilted his head and then nodded. "Check." I said.

"Cavity creators?"

I grinned widely as I ran to the sugar shelves and came back with an armful of several packages of Oreos, smiling broadly, totally giddy. Xander just stared at me, eyebrow raised. "Really? Do you want to grow another ass cheek?"

My super happy, sweet smile fell off a cliff, and died miserably. I glared at him, very displeased with his comment. I hesitantly looked down at my backside worriedly and turned back to him with a frown. "Fine." I loosened my grip on two packages, letting them fall unceremoniously to the ground with a crinkled thunk. "Jerk."

Xander shrugged and crossed that off the list.

Xander opens his mouth and then closes it with a frown. "Um...who put fruit on here?" Xander looked at the list with obvious distaste. "A vegetable tray? The hell?" I scrunched up my nose and looked at Xander who was eyeing me suspiciously.

I held my hands in the air. "Hey don't look at me. I just came for the Oreos. I didn't put that disgustingly healthy stuff on there."

"No. I did." Chelsea replied as she came back, laying the wrapped tray on top of the stacked sodas. "I like my butt just the size it is, thank you." She smiled as I made a gagging noise.

"Health nut." I side whispered passed my hand to Xander who shuddered.

"I don't know how we put up with her and her superb eating habits." He said to me with a shake of his head, his tone casual and not at all hushed for Chelsea's sake. Mine was just as casual.

"Me either. It's because we're super awesome people. We're such a tolerant folk. That's why." I repied, as if the answer I gave was pure proof of our heavy burden and not because we're being complete assholes to dear Chelsea here.

Us? Assholes? Never.

Xander sighed in a resigned fashion and I chuckled and bumped fists with him. Cue nerdly handshake.

"How do I put up with the both of you is the real question you guys should be asking."

"We're awesome. What's not to like?" I said with a smug smile. Xander laughed out loud and gave me another fist bump.

"You both are dorks."

"Guilty..."

"...as charged." Xander finished with an excited squeak before we both started laughing, much to Chelsea's disguised amusement.

"You know you love us."

"You two can stay guilty. I plead the fifth." Chelsea muttered dryly. "I still think you did something to my drink at the diner when I was in the bathroom."

I gasped in feigned insult, hand to my chest. "Xander. Do you hear this? She's accusing us of sabotaging her beverages."

"I heard. And I must say I am justifiably insulted. Peeved even."

"Peeved, yes, quite." I nodded, my tone gruff like a British old geezer. Or at least that's how I imagined it.

Chelsea rolled her eyes, a small, barely there smile laid lightly on her face.

We make our way around the entire store, grabbing needless things here and there for our weekend of fun and sugar highs...and Chelsea with her vegetable tray...ugh.

Once all done and our cash pulled together, well, _their_ cash, jerks wouldn't let me pay for anything, not even my million (two) packages of Oreos, we made our way to Chelsea's to drop off the food and then we would be off to Xander's house to grab the movies and the school to get Chels' car.

"Uh...Spence?"

Mmm...Oreo? Will you marry me? You'd make me the happiest blonde lesbian ever and we'll be awesome together and live happily ever after until I get hungry and eat you and our children. Sigh. It'd be bliss. And I know you won't break my heart because then I'd eat you. Another sigh.

Yup. Bliss.

My eyes glaze over.

"Spencer! Put the damn cookie down and get your ass out of the car!"

"Uh..."

"_Now_ please!"

"Fine fine. I'm getting out. I'm getting out. Yeesh!" I gave up on romance and shoved the sweet treat in my mouth as I unbuckled and stepped out of the car.

"Fucking finally." Xander muttered. "You'd been sitting in there for the past ten minutes just smiling at your cookie."

"I was thinking!"

"Yeah about rubbing the damn thing all over yourself were ya?"

I pinched my face into a scowl. "Shut up."

"Well you're welcome and all. Me and Chelsea already unloaded all the stuff and called the pizza place. Ya know while you were getting all weirdly hot and heavy with your chocolate girlfriend."

I smile dopely at the sentence. Heh. Chocolate girlfriend.

Xander gives me a weird look and then shakes his head and walks away.

"I blame Chelsea for your current sugar high. It's her fault you're acting like an even crazier looney toon. She just had to let you eat them on the way home..." He kept muttering to himself as he walked back into his house. Oh. Um...when did we get to his house anyway?

Damn. Maybe I should...ya know...follow the jerk.

I scurry out of the truck and make my way into the quaint little two story house of one David Alexander.

* * *

"So change of plans. You guys just wanna watch a horror or something? Ooh! Have you guys seen the new Twilight movie yet? I think I have it on my external hard drive. We can have a marathon or something."

"Wait - what?" I look at him, shaking my head, my eyes wide in terror. "Oh God, please tell me you're joking."

Xander actually has the gay urge to put his fists on his hips, looking scandalized. "You know Spence, I resent that. One of these days this movie is gunna be a classic."

I just shake my head, snorting softly. "How is it you're not gay? _Seriously_!"

"What? Just because I'm a guy that doesn't mean I can't enjoy something as sappy and estrogen ladened as Twilight. Don't be sexist, sexist."

"I'm not sexist I'm just...ugh! Whatever. And what happened to Kung-Fu movie night?"

Not that I cared but I liked consistency.

Okay, total lie. I was more curious than anything. I'd much rather avoid having to watch heavily subtitled martial arts films if I can help it. Not really my forte.

My male friend frowns. "No go on the Asian awesomeness. Some how all my Kung-Fu flicks disappeared. I can't find any of them." Xander scratches his head looking thoughtfully at his DVD collection.

I look over at Chelsea and she winks at me with a knowing smile.

That little sneak. I purse my lips around a smile and look away.

"What a shame." I said dryly.

"I know right!" He sighs dejected. "Sorry guys." His shoulders slump.

I wave him off. "Pfft. No worries buddy. We forgive. Don't we Chels?" Said girl grins, albeit, partially subdued, and nods her head.

"Oh yes. We're nothing if not forgiving. I'm sure we can find something on Netflix."

Xander pouts and then sighs. "I guess."

Chelsea stands up gracefully from the floor and rubs his back comfortingly. "Hey, maybe we can find something super subtitled on Netflix. How about that?" Her voice is sweet as she says this.

Xander looks up at Chelsea, giving her a toothy grin. He blushes a little and nods. "I'd be down." They smile sweetly at each other and I just about vomit all over Xander's carpeted floor.

"Sounds great!" I roll my eyes. "Kay so grab your stupid SucksBox and lets skedaddle."

"Hey whoa! No one said anything about touching Vivian!" Xander shrieked, standing protectively in front of his beloved game system.

Someone's a little _too_ attached.

I crossed my eyes and groaned. "Its not like we're gunna invite the thing to an orgy." I noted incredulously. "We just want to exploit your current subscription to an online movie library and watch said movies all night long. No big." I shrug my arms.

"No! The last time I let you borrow her you spilled chocolate milk all over her. I had to rip her open and clean her before she would finally wake up and function properly."

"Exaggeration." I grunted.

Yup_. Way_ too attached. I said I was sorry what more does this man-child want from me. I sighed and looked pleadingly at Chelsea for some kind of assistance. And it was an accident any way. Its not like I _meant_ to stub my toe on Xander's untouched desk and therefore grab it in agony and dropping my drink all over his precious girlfriend...I mean, _system_.

Thankfully, Chelsea comes to my aid.

"Xander," Chelsea's voice is unusually soft. "May we please borrow your ...borrow _Vivian_ for the night? Please. It's not like you won't be there to chaperone." She responds diplomatically.

Xander's resolve crumbles like lit paper and then magically turns to pudding as he stares into Chelsea's eyes. "Fine. But you're staying on the other side of the room." He points to me accusingly.

"What?!"

"Deal." Chelsea says.

"Hey! Not fair."

"Do you want to watch a movie or not?" Chelsea asks.

I pout, grumbling. "Fine...by the way, I hate you." I glared playfully at Chelsea.

She smirks. "No you don't."

I glare at an indistinguishable stain on Xander's carpet, mumbling incoherently to myself. "Buncha jerks...don't know why I put up with the both of ya..."

My friends just laughed like the assholes they are...which I couldn't help but smile at.

* * *

Back at Chelsea's house, Xander was frantically searching through her fridge. "Did we get the cheese dip? I coulda sworn I put cheese dip in the cart at the store." His thumb drums on the handle of the fridge.

"You did. But I took it out. We had plenty of dip at my house."

Xander pulls his head out of the fridge and pouts. "Aw but I like it straight from the can fresh. Your's has probably been sitting out for _hours_."

Chelsea lifted an eyebrow. "You're the one that opened it." She pointed out.

"And?"

Chelsea rolled her eyes which prompted me to roll mine along with her. Dude had a major cheese problem. An intervention was probably needed sometime in the near future...or a trank dart in the bum when we finally denied him his beloved moldy dairy products. That day will be a sad day...not to mention weird as hell.

"Here, I think I have some crackers in the pantry. You'll be fine with that and your gross dip."

Xander went to protest until he saw Chelsea getting up from the couch to join him in the kitchen, and then smiled softly.

I wonder of Chelsea notices those smiles he always gives her. Then again, I've only just started noticing so...who knows.

Left alone, I busy myself with rifling through my backpack with the intention of doodling something random in my sketchbook till my friends came back. My fingers wiggle and waggle inside my bag till my they wrap around a group of papers. I lift it out and...

Oh. I...I forgot I still had this in here.

It was the script.

My fingers began to shake slightly and I felt so stupid and weak for letting just the sight of a few papers break me apart. My sugar high instantly dulled as I sobered up immediately.

Ashley.

I still can't get her expression out of my head. She looked like ...I don't know...like I just killed her dog...and then torched her sports car...wait. Okay no. That still doesn't sound as devastating.

Devastated.

There. Thats what she looked like. She looked utterly and completely..._devastated_. God. Just the thought that I, me, Spencer Carlin, put that hopeless look on her face...I ...I can't ..._fuck_. It hurts. It hurts so much to know I hurt her. And I'm not an idiot. I know sometimes I act like my hair's chosen name sake but I'm _not_ stupid. She looked hurt. She seemed like she was trying to keep it to herself, hide it from me, but I saw. Even though I tried not to. I begged myself not to notice, to stop analyzing every micro twitch and crease of her brow. But I guess, I just couldn't help myself. My control sucks when it comes to Ashley Davies. Always has. Dumb luck and my utter cluelessness in certain situations has been my only saving grace.

But...does that really mean that she...likes me? Genuinely. It wasn't all a joke?

I've been the butt of a joke like that before. Back home in Ohio. My best friend...well, someone who I thought was my best friend told the whole school about my crush on her to rocket her up the food chain. It was around the time I was still scared of what I was _so sure_ I was. That I was gay. There was confusion...and then there was clarity. I knew what I was...but the moment I told my friend what I felt in my heart...well...it didn't end so well. She told my secret and then she was ordered by the cheer captain of our high school that if she wanted into the popular crowd, that she had to humilate me on my last week of school, first thing Monday morning in front of the entire student body. My last day would have been Friday so I'd have the rest of the week to endure the stares and whispers. The shoves and leers and ...the other ...not so pleasant forms of bullying.

The town I lived in was crazy conservative. They'd rather smother you with their belief of what was right and wrong then let you speak your mind. Kinda hypocritical, I'll admit, but that was the town I grew up in. No real room to grow and be the person you want to. Not unless it was someone everyone would like. And even then, sometimes even that was never enough. Anyways, I'm getting off track.

This weekend was supposed to be Ashley-free, in every way. My friends had told me as much. But that didn't stop me from thinking of her. I don't think anything could. Not completely. Never completely. Which really tells you how ultimately screwed I am.

Distracting myself was really the only solution for a broken heart. That and chocolate. Though the latter isn't working out so well this time. Its only managed to dull the ache in my chest cavity and make my jeans feel tight.

Sigh.

I feel like one of those lonely people that sit solemnly at a bar, nursing their glass of chosen poison after a bad break up. Except, I wasn't at a bar so much as Chelsea's living room and I wasn't drinking anything intoxicating, unless you count lazily sipping chocolate milk through a purple bendy straw hazardous to your inhibitions.

Which I don't.

I look up from stirring said chocolaty goodness and see Xander and Chelsea looking at me worriedly, varying degrees of concern and frustration marring their faces.

"What?"

Chelsea and Xander seem to have a whole conversation with just their eyes...a fact that is doing nothing good for my nerves.

What are they even saying?! Or...not saying?

Which leads me to my next question: Why do I associate myself with weird people? Does this say something significant about me? Am I weird for enjoying the company of strange people?

Wait...don't answer that.

I frowned once I saw Chelsea shake her head at Xander's twitching eyelids and then Xander shrug in response.

I wish I could just poke both of them in the eye and make them stop. It's weird how they do that and I feel totally left out of the conversation. Which is strange since its a conversation I'm all too aware isn't even verbally happening right now and is solely dependent on their shifty eye movements and twitchy eyebrows. Also, Xander keeps squinting like Chad Michael Murray and I'm just dying to make a One Tree Hill joke right now. Dying I tell you!

Xander wiggles is manbrows in a peculiar manner that I'm guessing was supposed to be meaningful and not weird at all...except he failed miserably and now I'm just annoyed.

The next moment I slap Xander on the back of the head, his squinty eyes crossing. "Would you two quit it! I can't tell if you two are plotting my death or deciding what to have for breakfast tomorrow. And it's freaking me out!...So stop it!"

Xander glared at me and stuck his tongue out at me as he rubbed his head. I stuck out my own and kicked his shin, making him drop his hands to his leg and I slapped him again.

Xander flailed his arms about. "I say, I say! This is totally an unprovoked ass whooping!"

"Nothing is unprovoked when you're being yourself."

Xander flailed his arms in frustration. "Who else am I gunna be?!"

"Someone nicer and less irritating!" Another whack.

Then we proceeded to wrestle on the floor...because we're classy like that.

Chelsea rolled her eyes and looked at her nails, an amused smile lifting her lips up.

The rest of the weekend was filled with much needed down time. Xander and Chelsea had been really helpful when it came to getting my mind of ...you know who. I thank them for that. I would have just gotten so deeply stuck in my head if I was left alone. Like I already had done once already. And that wasn't pleasant at all. No sir.

I just hope I can keep it together when Monday rolls around.

* * *

**FILLER! Yes thats basically what this was. Okay so it was more of a very filling non-filler. It's a eh-ish chapter but I kinda wanted to get Spencey into a good mood so she'll feel better for the upcoming drama fest that SURE to happen.**

**Yup. Let's go with that. ;) Anyways. So question time! Cause I'm extremely curious and I like hearing your opinions. **

**Who is your favorite character so far? Or who do you relate to the most, if you relate to any of them at all? Lol. Let me know. I'm curious. XD**

**As always, drop me a line. I like hearing what you think. The response for Ashley's spin off was really helpful so thank you for that guys.**

**Till next time!**

**- Lil' Miss**


	26. Don't Forget To Breathe

**First off I want to apologize profusely for taking _so effing long_. Got a review about how I was taking longer than a month to update which motivated me to strangle my lazy muse until I milked something out of it. Not gonna lie. It's not my best work but it's one of my most emotionally challenging(?) chapters so I was having trouble with it. But _FINALLY_ - oh thank baby Jeebus - I got this posted.**

**Now I've been a horribly scatterbrained jerk and have yet to mention the awesome cover art done by **lexi10290**. I wish you could see most of it but the picture got cut off. Wish I knew the demensions. **

**Hmm...anywhoosy drop me some love - if you have any left after how long I took - and let me know what you thought. I have plans for these girls but honestly, I'm having too much fun making Spencer squirm! Lol. *evil giggle* theangst should be dullinghere soon though. For now. *snickers***

**Enjoy!**

* * *

So I think it goes without saying that I had higher expectations for this weekend than I should have.

Don't get me wrong. It _was_ relaxing and full of my friends' and mine's general stupidity but...

It wasn't enough...

My brain was everywhere. They felt scattered and were just unhelpful and extremely rushed. They've been like this since I got home late Saturday so I would be home to go to church the next morning. But throughout all that, Ashley was at the back of my mind all weekend. Though, she did like poking her beautiful head in every now and again to let me know she was still there, still very much unresolved.

I tried shaking her away, shrugging her off so I could focus on trying to act like a normal human being for even a hour and simultaneously keep my breakfast down as Patrick leered at me during the whole service. Shudder.

...And it's not that I didn't want to think about her or that I was _avoiding_ thinking of her...

Okay so that's exactly what it was like. When it came to Ashley I was even more uncertain of her than I was before all this stuff happened. Before the play and the kiss...es. Plural. Meaning more than one and - oh my Golly stop thinking about it!

Ugh. Sorry that's usually what happens when I think about her. It always leads to those amazing, gut squooshing, heart pounding, brain melting kisses. Those amazingly hot, smexy smooches and I'm thinking about it again! Oi, my brain.

_Shhh I'm missing the best part. She was totally about to touch your bra in your little - ahem - day dream. Freakin love that part._

Oh my God I hate my life.

_Shhhhh!_

_Anyways, _Friday and Saturday were fine. It was Sunday that was less than relaxing.

I guess Glen had dinged the back bumper of Mom's precious SUV so she was wreaking all kindsa hell on the poor guy. He looked like a sad ferret. Poor little weasel. Anyways, then there was something about me letting the plants die outside cause I didn't bother watering them. The fact that I was getting a harsher verbal beat down for letting the foliage wilt a little versus mangling the backside if her car was not lost on me. Glen seemed to notice at least and kept eyeing my mom and I wearily. Me especially. He looked worried, though my brother never said anything. Not a peep.

So I don't really know what his deal is but if he keeps looking at me like that for much longer I have no doubt that I'll hear about it soon.

Golly gee. Why am I not thrilled about that idea? Oh I don't know, maybe it's because talking to Glen about anything serious is extremely rare and therefore an obvious sign of the apocalypse. It has to be.

And that was just Sunday.

Don't even get me started on what happened at church.

One word.

Patrick.

Yup. That guy. You remember him don't you?

Oh how I loath him and his smarmy gassy baby expressions. They're not attractive!

So of course that Sunday morning we got ready just as usual. Prim and proper and Dad sprinkling on too much after shave that I kept rubbing my nose incessantly when he gave me a hug.

Dad made a quick breakfast for us all and then we were off like race horses.

The sermon was actually pretty nice. It was about being fair to your fellow man and giving second chances. It was actually kind of pretty the way Father Mark said it. Though...it made me think of Ashley a whole awful lot.

Though halfway into the sermon when Father Mark was really getting into it and getting all excited and animated - which was my favorite part - I made the mistake of turning my head to see how the rest of the congregation was taking his words...and that's when I found dull green staring back at me.

Patrick.

And he didn't stop his creepy staring contests either. Oh no. The other stuff he did was just beginning to make me feel uncomfortable. I was shocked that _nobody_ had noticed him.

And once Father Mark led us all in one last prayer and it seemed like it was finally all over and done with, I nearly skipped out of the pew, which, in hindsight wasn't the most graceful thing to do. But I was just too damn happy to be rid of Patrick and his greasy looking cloud of lusty man-child mist that I could practically see him sending my way via multiple air kisses I couldn't really be bothered to care. Nothing could burst my little bubble of happiness. Nothing I tell you!

Well...except for that liiiiittle part where my mother invited him and his family over for dinner this week before we could make it completely out of church.

Ugh. It sounds like a punishment to me. For what I'm not sure but I know it is. She's punishing me for something. I just know it. And it's not my normal hyper active paranoia acting up. Right?

Aye yiyi. She makes me crazy. And not the enjoyable kind either.

This can't be about the plant can it? I mean come on. It was ugly anyways. Especially when it started turning all brown last week. Clearly it was a plant that had performance anxiety.

Oh, while I'm ranting here - as usual - allow me to interject a well known fact for ya as a way to change directions completely: Mondays suck.

There. I said it.

Shocking, I know.

Okay not really. But it's true either way. And today - being Monday of all days - is no different. I'm just like sooo excited to start the day I can barely contain my enthusiasm. No really. The fact that I'm slumped over the kitchen island face first in my breakfast and look like an extra on The Walking Dead is merely a small oversight.

Too much sarcasm? Just a little bit?

Oh look. People are talking.

"Spencer, honey?"

I grumbled softly as a way of saying hey how are ya.

I didn't get much sleep last night. I tossed and turned all...damn...night. My brain wouldn't shut the fuck up. If I wasn't preoccupied with arguing with myself internally then I was dreaming restlessly, the events of Thursday at Ashley's house playing out vividly in my mind's eye.

Meaning: No sleep for Spencer.

And I like sleep. Which is why I'm pouting and groaning tiredly into my bowl of bland oatmeal this morning.

My Dad looks concerned.

Glen looks amused.

I look like the undead. Rawrg.

Dad clears his throat softly and for whatever reason he kept doing it louder and louder until he finally just sighed.

"Dove, is something wrong with your oatmeal? I'm starting to worry you might drown in it" My Dad says.

What? Oh...Dad. Ha ha. You're soooo very funny. Not. Okay, maybe it was a little funny but it was soooo not appreciated.

"Blurghh...grrmphhgggrr..."

Glen crack up at this.

"Wow. She's even more incoherent than usual. You think it's drugs, Pops?" Glen said with a douchey smile, totally amused. Jerk.

"No. And leave your sister alone. I don't think she's quite awake yet." He said, his soft grey eyes watching me as my slow breaths caused bubbles to, well...bubble in my breakfast.

Glen grins. "Oh. I can fix that..."

...The next thing I know I feel something wet and slimy wiggle uncomfortably in my ear, "Oh dear God not the probes!" and it seriously wasn't helping that I was having a vague dream about probe-happy aleins either. At that horrible thought I shot up in my seat, the bowl sticking to my face for a moment and then sliding off with a wet pop, clattering back onto the table.

Glen busts out laughing while I notice my Dad give Glen a disapproving look.

I-what-where...?

I look over at my brother and then down at the mess of oatmeal on the table. My shoulders sag slightly as a sign leaves me. I'm too tired for this shit. I glare tiredly at my brother.

He takes a breath as he tries to calm down and looks at my face again, then starts laughing all over again.

_What?!_

"What?!"

"You got a little something...there." He gestures to his chin and then slowly to his entire face all the while smiling like an asshole.

Mean.

Dad hands me a clean rag, a smile tucked carefully behind his mug of coffee.

I frown and try and clean myself up.

Jerk.

"Wev meh wone." I think is what came out of mouth, which translates loosely into, "Leave me alone."

"No." Was Glen's reply as he smirked like a douche.

"Glen leave your sister alone. Spencer, dove, give me ten minutes and then I'll drive you to school okay?"

"M'kay..." I smiled as Dad smoothed the hair out of my eyes and kissed the top of my head before leaving the kitchen. Glen watches Dad leave and turns back to me.

"You know we're gunna talk eventually right?"

I lazily brought a finger up to his lips, pressing against them inaccurately. "Shhhh. 'M sleepin'..." Glenn whacked me. "Ow! Hey watch it! So uncalled for man."

"Yeah but you're awake aren't you?" He smirked smugly. I hate you.

"I hhhhhhate you." I spit.

"Yeah yeah save the mushyness for when I finally corner you and we talk it out. And we will talk." He nods. "We'll talk it up. Hug it out. Throw it up." He gestures.

I scrunched up my nose. "Who's throwing up?"

"I am. Mushy stuff is just sickening." He stuck his finger in his mouth and wretched. I rolled my eyes.

"You're such a guy."

"And proud of it runt." He says with a grin, ruffling my hair as he does.

I bat him away weakly. "Ass."

"And proud Shirl-"

"Yeah yeah and proud. I get it. You're so amazing." I shove him away and he shoves me back with a huge ass grin. "Stop being annoying. Your you-ish-ness is giving me a headache."

"Your lack of vocabulary is giving me a headache." He supplies easily.

"Shut up. It's 7:30 in the morning. What do you expect?"

"After so long of knowing you...nothing."

"Jerk."

He grins that familiar grin and it just makes me want to slap him.

I think a little payback is in order. Heh heh. Despite what Glenn might like to think, he is, and will always be, the biggest mush ball in the history of sappy squooshy things. Secretly. Shh.

Though when it happens and he is. It's incredibly rare. Though when ever it does happen it's usually only brought out because of something that happened to me. Big brother syndrome and what not I suppose.

"Glenn?" I say in the smallest and pitiful voice I can muster and since I actually feel like the smallest and most pitifully exhausted creature on the planet right now, it wasn't that hard.

"What?"

"Can you please hand me my bag? I feel all crummy."

He looks incredulous. "It's right by your feet. You get it."

I'm throwing out the big guns. "Please?" I mumbled with large puppy eyes.

He flinches at my expression like I presented him with the most hideously adorable baby known to man kind. Heh heh. My brother groans, and bends down, lifting my back pack up and setting it on the counter. "Fine! Here you lazy good for nothing."

"Words hurt you know." I smirked, basking in my triumph.

"Like you haven't heard them from me before." He matches my smirk exactly, that unmistakeable tell that let's people know that we actually are related. No matter what Glenn tells them.

"Still stings." I pout playfully.

He flicks my nose and bumps my shoulder with his. "Get over it. Don't gotta cry about it."

"You're difficult to love."

"We can't all be perfect lezbotron."

My eyes narrow. "I never should have taught you that name."

"I think I might even make it your nickname."

"Oh please tell me you're joking."

"You'd like that wouldn't you." He grinned, slinging his large arm over my shoulder.

"Get off me before I hit you."

Glen laughed and ruffled my goddamn hair again.

Grrrr!

* * *

Dad dropped me off a bit earlier than I was used to. That's what I get for having a car that can't go anywhere. I'm really gonna have to figure out a way to pick up gas. Even it's just a gallon. It'll be enough to get me to a gas station to fill it up the rest of the way. I should even make Glenn pay for it. It's his fault I don't have a car after all.

I went to my locker and entered in my combination. I yawned as I unloaded my books that I took home this weekend and reached in for the ones I would need today. I shook myself out of another large yawn. This one making my eyes tear up to my utter dismay. Ugh. I want a nap. I quickly wiped an escaping tear off my cheek and closed my eyes.

I needed to take a breath. My lack of sleep was shaking the hand that held my emotions under a tight leash. I could barely grasp a hold of them before one starts scampering off and wreaking havoc on my nerves. I could feel my expressions fluctuating, bouncing from extremely high - as if I was was with my friends - or pitifully low. Okay deep breath. In. Out. Again. In. Out. Good. Keep going. In. Out. Super. Now. Maybe you should stop thinking about doing it and just do it.

Ugh. Forget it. You know what's wrong with me?

_Besides everything?_

The bottom line is, is that with all this thinking and all this worrying and day dreaming and regular dreaming it ultimately comes down to one very obvious conclusion.

I missed Ashley. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. And the fact that I miss her THIS much is just abso-toot-ly pitiful.

I groaned.

Oh mah gawd. I'm one of those chicks. Those pathetic tweeners you see crying all over the place because they didn't get a quick enough response from their crush. Oh my golly. Someone just shoot me.

When did I get so pathetic?

_Well let's see...how long ago was it that you saw Ashley for the first time?_

Not helping.

_Wasn't trying to._

Mean.

_Wimp._

Its true. I was. Am. I am pretty wimpish. I'm so worried about what I'll do if even greeted by the sight of her that I scare myself out of coming up with a solution to do anything about this tension between us. I'd much rather hide under a rock. Forever. Though maybe thats the humiliation talking. Who knows at this point? What was I gonna say when I saw her? I can't keep avoiding her forever. Yes I'm embarrassed. Still feel humiliated actually - I mean who wouldn't - but I can't let her affect me so much. It's over. It happened. Now what? If I see her... ... What? What do I do? What do I say? Do I say anything? Sigh.

I buried my head in my locker. I hate my brain sometimes. I wish I could just shut it off for a bit and just go with the flow for once. Lose myself in the moment without analyzing every gosh darn minute of it. Sigh. But then where would I be?

_Beats me._

Ugh!

A muffled thunk of a body bumping into the locker door beside me rouses me from another one of my never ending mental monologues and for that I'm immensely grateful.

"Morning dork. You seen Chels yet?"

Although...

I rolled my eyes at my friend's version of a pleasant greeting and shook my head in the negative. I had thought about moving my head out of my locker but I kinda liked the dark and sometimes Xander's personality has the tendency to become annoying very quickly when I'm sleep deprived and Chelsea's not here to slap him upside the head.

Xander hummed disapprovingly, meaning he caught the negative movement of my hair and realized Chelsea was late. I bet you if my head wasn't buried deep in my locker I'd be witness to Xander's disturbingly adorable pouty face. Chelsea told me in secret once that she was actually loathed to the sight of it. Every time she saw it always managed to warm her heart and make her want to pull him tighter whether she was irritated at him for doing something incredibly stupid or childish antics were distracting her again from her art work because she kept laughing too much.

Oh yeah. She really hated that pout.

Fabric rubbed against the metal door next to mine, meaning he was probably leaning against said door. I waited as Xander shuffled, making the sound echo again. "Good cause I need to talk to you about something?"

I grunt.

Xander waited a moment for me to add something and then pulled the door of my locker further back to see me.

"Dear God you look like hell." Xander said, sounding alarmed, possibly scared. I glared at him with immense irritation.

I threw up my hands. "Does no one know how to lie anymore? Gee and here I was about to tell you how dashing you look in that blue button up."

Xander smiles widely; adjusting his shirt's collar with pride. "Hey sweet. You really think so?"

My grin vanished. "No." I closed my locker. "See. I lied. Ya see how easy that was?"

Xander looked at me, silent. His frown fading to be replaced by a curious expression.

"No but seriously, what's up? Why no smiles today?"

I rubbed my left eye tiredly. God. Even my eyelids hurt. "Didn't get much sleep last night."

He nods, though his face is thoughtful. "Any reason why not?"

"No."

"Spencer, come on. It's me. The goofy guy. I can handle a little-" I interrupt him.

"Not right now okay. I'm just really beat alright. I'm fine."

Xander gives me a look. He's not convinced but he nods and backs off. "Fine. But you know where to find me."

I raise a brow. "And that would be?"

He shrugged and grinned almost shyly as he looked away. "Where ever Chelsea is."

It was slow going but I managed a small smile at that.

"You really like her. Don't you?"

He shoves his hands deep in his jacket pockets. "Duh."

"I think it's cute."

He pouted and looked away.

"I think you should shut up."

"Fine. But you know where to find me."

"You mean where ever Ash-" He stops himself, freezing with his eyes wide.

I drop my eyes and finger the loose thread on my hoody sleeve.

"Spence I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"I know. It's...its fine. I know you didn't mean anything by it." I say softly.

He looks guilty.

"I know but...I should of known better. Especially-"

"I get it. Water under the bridge."

He looks at my softly and then frowns. Then, like a switch, his face seems to sharpen around the edges and I know he has his 'determined' face on. Joy.

"Okay I'll make this quick and almost painless before Chelsea gets here." He cranes his head over mine to see if the coast is clear, his neck frantically looking around. I blew blonde hair out of my face as I waited impatiently. After awhile, he nods to himself and looks back, his eyes anxious, and his words quick, "And I'm only gunna say this once so like, ya know, pay attention and stuff. This is super top secret stuff I'm about to tell you which means its also really important so, like, shut up." He paused after that. Not exactly waiting on a response from me but waiting for the words in his head to make sense and form something informative. Or at least I think that's what that weird look on his face means. Its either that or maybe its just gas. Who knows.

I looked absolutely bored as I watched him open and close his lips like an abnormally large and hairy goldfish as he struggled to figure out what he apparently wanted to tell me, or exactly how to word it.

"You know," I say slowly, "you actually have to say something if you want it to be quick." I said with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm getting there. Don't rush me."

"Don't bore me."

"Okay okay."

He opens his mouth and then closes it just as quickly. How is this quick and painless? I watched annoyed as he scratches his head.

"Dude!"

"Okay okay! Yeesh!"

"Get to the point David!"

"Okay!" He shrieks. He takes a deep breath and I can't stop myself from rolling my eyes and grunting. "I...I think you should talk to Ashley?" He closes his eyes instantly and winces.

Was that a question and - wait what?

I raised an eyebrow.

He nods and wiggles his man brows meaningfully.

My brow goes higher.

His eyes widen.

Wow. He's serious.

"Esscoomee?" I crossed my arms and leaned against my locker. He had my full attention.

"Look. You and I both know that the only reason Chelsea is so against you talking to Ashley, well, Ashley talking to you, is that she hurt you. Doesn't need to make sense for the how or the why but just that she did is enough for Chels."

I shrugged, nodding along to that. Makes sense...for Chelsea.

"She's protective like a mama bird and as scary as an angry bear. But seriously..." His eyes soften. "I don't think you should be so quick to brush Ashley off. At least hear her out. Let her grovel if she wants to. Let her grovel if she's up for it. Hell if she's willing all the better! But I kinda think Chels was out of line when she barked at Ashley. But I know she does it cuz she cares." He shakes his head. "Though don't you dare tell her I said all this. I promise you I'll deny it."

"Kay." I said quietly.

He gives my shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"Hey. Maybe it won't be so bad to let her talk, yeah. Then you won't have any reason to feel guilty for shushing her and making Chelsea give her the mother of all stink eyes for no other reason than for what happened on Thursday. Not that that's not a good enough reason." He rushes to say when he sees me glaring at him. "it's just..when it resorts to her stab happy dagger eyes it usually involves someone bleeding or mangled body parts. Like, remember that time Jenny Collinder pushed you in gym and you twisted your ankle? Yeah Jenny never was the same after Chels looked at her." Xander goes all wistful as he thinks about it, while I merely clutch onto one thing he said.

"Hey. Who says I feel guilty?" I muttered stubbornly, my arms tightening over my chest. Xander blinks away his ponderings and turns to me, his eyes giving me a knowing look.

"Cuz ya are. Duh. Have you not been listening to what I've been saying?"

"Hmph."

Xander chuckled and tussled my hair, making me squeal and whack him furiously in the chest to make him stop. He just laughed more, making me smile even though I wanted to be mad at him, knowing that I didn't want to smile and forcing the giggles out of me anyway.

Jerk.

"So now that I've set you straight, no pun intended," I roll my eyes. "What're you going to do about it?"

"Think about it too much and give myself an even bigger headache till I do something impulsive out of sheer frustration."

He nods. "So basically what you always do right?"

"You got it." I grin. Xander gives me a small smile and then turns his head every which way, searching for Chelsea I'm sure.

"Huh. Chels doesn't usually take this long to get to school."

"That's because she has a doctor's appointment this morning."

"Aaaah." He nods slowly. "Yeah that'd explain it."

Xander went off to get his stuff from his locker and promised to meet me in class soon. I made him pinky promise that he wouldn't skip and he did, much to my relief. I take my pinky promises very seriously and Xander knows it, otherwise he would have feigned having a pinky cramp or something and avoided making the promise at all costs. Yeah. He's done that before. Pinky cramp. Yeah right.

I was maybe only a few feet from my class when I heard my name being called. Well...not my name, per se.

"Sup _dyke_."

Goddamn you and your timing Madison. I was just getting my good mood back too.

I swivel on my heel and glare at her.

"Right now is not a good time Madison."

"Oh I'm sorry Spencer. Are we interrupting your social life. Oh wait. That's right. You have none."

I rolled my eyes. Normally I would follow that jab up with something possibly witty or snarky but today I couldn't give a hoot what she said. Remember how I said that ignoring Madison is the worst idea ever. Well, it still is.

Whatever. I turn away from her in the vain attempt of continuing on my way to class when I feel my elbow being tugged roughly. The hell?

"Bitch she's talking to you." One of her cronies shrieks in what I'm assuming was supposed to be a threatening manner. It's not. Sherri, was it? Yes. I thinks that's what it's name is. Though her henchmen all kinda look alike so I can't be sure.

"Wow. And it speaks. Ya know I was beginning to think you had forgotten how. What with you and Madison sharing a brain since _your_ head happens to be shoved so far up _her_ ass you weren't able to use it."

Sherri's ears turn red as she fumes. "How dare you!" She advances on me until a tan hand snaps forwards and pulls the girl back by her shirt.

"Don't." Madison warns, her voice harsh as she tugs on the captive girl's shirt once more, pulling her back in rank but further behind her. I arch a brow at that.

Madison looks pissed but before she can say anything the bell rings and the crowd around us begins to slowly disperse. I use this current distraction to disappear into the crowd. I seriously don't have time for one of Madison's games.

I weave through the crowd and made it to class with plenty of time to doodle.

* * *

It was almost third period when I finally saw Kyla for the first time since Thursday. Thankfully she hadn't noticed me yet since the crowd of teenagers was thick between us but I could spot her a mile away. I was maybe a few feet from her when I finally noticed it.

Holy crap who messed up her face?!

I winced when she got closer.

Granted, the bruises looked like they were healing. There were shades of yellows, greens, blues, and purples blotching her once pretty face. Mostly around her left eye and cheek. I can even tell she tried her best to mask it with make up but it didn't really help much.

I kinda feel bad for her. Damn thing looks like it hurts.

I frown and duck my head and take cover behind my hair so she won't notice as we finally walk past each other.

She kept walking.

I let out a relived sigh. Good. She didn't see me.

I don't know what I would have done if she had.

* * *

English was my second favorite class of the school year. So it was easy to get lost in it and not think of anything that wasn't relevant to the current lesson.

We were going over our rough drafts that we had handed in last week. I had very few corrections to make on it. Little punctuations here and there but over all it simply needed to be added to and not detracted from, which was smile inducing. The only downside to this class was the people there in. I felt like my vulnerable flesh was being used for target practice. Which it was...in more ways than one. On the one hand I had various objects being thrown at my head and on the other hand - which isn't any better - I had dagger eyes being chucked at the back of my head too.

Worst combination ever.

So once I had everything sorted with my paper I was left to my own devices...and dodging the random devices being hurled at me with irritating accuracy - the amount she has is just ridiculous - I shot my hand up and waved it around until the teacher noticed me.

I ask to be excused to the bathroom and the teacher nods and hands me the pass to go.

I needed to clear my head. I just needed quiet. And I needed to dig the embarrassing number of objects out of my hair, some of which I'm praying isn't gum.

I snatch the paper from the teachers hand and calmly walk out the classroom and then make haste for the bathroom when the coast was clear.

I'm in there for maybe less than ten minutes before I hear the door open as I'm drying my hands under the automatic dryer.

Then the second to last person I want to see right now enters my reflection, her eyes taking in my mirrored visage as she scowls at me.

Ooh yay. Just what I need.

I glance at her briefly then look away, sighing tiredly. Just the sight of her makes me exhausted.

I stepped away from the dryer and shook my hands of the remaining excess of water. Madison just eyes me intensely like a weirdo.

Can anyone say, awkward?

I forgo decorum and simply wipe what ever is left on my pants. "Madison." I mutter dryly. "What an unpleasant surprise." I rolled my eyes and made my way past her, except a hand clasps around my arm before I can leave, pulling me back.

"Hey! I'm not done with you Carlin." She growls, her eyes flare eagerly, the usual fire there when we were getting ready to ream into each other.

This again? Geez. I seriously don't get her. I always win these things. She knows I do...and yet she always insists on these daily confrontations. What's the point when I always end up coming on top and not her? She doesn't prove anything. You'd think she would try putting me in my place or some stupid crap but she just name calls and gets in my face, forcing me to fight with her.

I sighed tiredly, my brow drooping, and turned to look at her. "Yeah well I'm really not in the mood to verbally make you look like an idiot so if you don't mind..." I try and tug my arm away but her hand tightens around my forearm, not painfully but still firmly, keeping us linked. The feeling of her hand on my mine shocks me.

Madison's expression becomes unreadable for a moment and then a flicker of what I doubt is sincere concern crosses her face as her eyes take in all of my features.

"Whats up with you?" Her tone almost sounds soft, which totally throws me for a moment before I mentally shake it off and shove my available hand in my pocket.

"What do you care?" I grumble as I watch my sneaker scuff the floor.

Madison's cheeks turn the lightest shade of red and she looks away. "I don't...but I do care when someone ruins my time with - I mean my daily mean girl activities. Now spill. Who did this?" She practically snarls.

Why does she think anyone did _anything_ to me? I mean, someone _did_ but still. She's getting way too close to the truth too soon for my liking.

My cheeks flush and I glare at her. "No. Why the fuck would I tell you anything?" I growled heatedly.

Her jaw clenches and her fingers flex and then tighten around my arm. She looks like she's struggling with something.

"It's Davies, isn't it?" Its a cold whisper when it leaves her lips.

My eyes widen and I backtrack my words. Wait - what did I say again? Did I give myself away? Am I that damn easy to read? Fuck!

Her eyes darken as I gape at her, basically admitting to her what she already knows without me saying a word. Damn it. Say something!

I finally gather enough words in my broken brain to form a kinda-sorta sentence and unleash them into the air spectacularly. "What? No! Of course not! W-why would you-"

She scoffs. "Oh save it. I know you're totally hot for her." She spits out, the last word being emphasized with so much hate that I furrowed my brow in confusion. What _is it_ with her and Ashley? They act like they can't stand each other. But why? And how could she possibly know I like her?

"You're crazy! I don't know what the fuck you're - a-and let me go dammit!" I say, panicking the fuck out, tugging and failing miserably to get my arm from her. Chick is stronger than she looks.

Madison is obviously unwilling to listen to me, as usual, and just stares at me. Her eyes flash from one emotion to another so quickly I can barely keep up, much less distinguish one from the other.

There is so much I'm not getting from her body language and the silence is doing nothing but scrapping the ends of my nerves frustratingly.

"Why her?" She asks suddenly.

"What?" I blink as my brows furrow, my flailing arms stilling momentarily.

"Why her? What's so special about her?" Her words are quick and insistent.

I pause, frightened at the turn in conversation. "Who? I don't -"

She waves my words away, interrupting them. "You know the fuck who. Davies." The name is spat like a bad word, harsh. It was the closest thing to a slap to the face.

"I-I'm not talking about this." I murmur as I look at anything that's not the girl in front of me. I feel like a cornered animal that's being poked persistently with a sharp stick. And every line of questioning is just a stab to the heart as I begin picturing Ashley...Ashley and her smile... Ashley laughing...Ashley tracing the lines in my palm...Ashley leaning in and...

I shake my head, clearing my painful thoughts, but Madison takes it as a another refusal.

"No, come on. Tell me. Is she prettier than me? Does she get you wet when she bats her fake lashes at you? What? What the fuck is so much better about her that I...I-I mean any other girl couldn't be for you?"

I look at her confused, my eyes squinting slightly. I know that there's something I should be grasping easily enough but I'm so fucking tired from my restless sleep last night and just the general abundance of everything sucking lately that I can't pull all the pieces together to make them fit, make them obvious. Fucking hell. I'm too tired for this drama shit right now.

"And again I ask. Why do you care?"

The conversation me and Ashley had about Madison's totally _insane_ crush on me flashes at the front of my brain like a very bright neon sign, demanding that I stare unblinkingly at its awesome brightness.

I blink. No...no. Fucking. Way. She-she...just no. She can't have a - nononono...Ashley was lying. It was just her screwing with me again. But...then why does it seem so obvious now? Why do I keep going back to it? Her attitude. Her body language. Her push and pull demeanor...she wants answers but she doesn't want to be directly associated with how she got them and why...is she...no she couldn't...

Oh my gawd.

My eyes widen, frightened.

My lips stumble over each other as I try to find words I clearly don't have, and I tug again on my captive arm.

"What the fuck is going on here? Let her go bitch!"

Both Madison and I's attention snapped to the angry voice behind us.

Thats when my heart stopped and just flatlined completely.

Ashley.

Eff. My. Wife - _Damn it!_ Life! Why do I keep doing that?!

_You perv!_

What? You were thinking it too!

I shook my head quickly, blinking at the beautiful, gut wrenching sight in front of me. Ashley looked furious, as she stared at Madison's hand wrapped around my arm.

Madison wasn't hurting me. Surprisingly out of all our confrontations and heated bitching fests...Madison has never laid a finger on me till today...and even now it's more a solid grip than it is a tight one. Every squeeze she makes on my arm is only to remind me that she's not letting go until she feels like it. For some reason Madison is uncharacteristically chatty today. Fuck if I know why. It can't be for the reason I was beginning to believe. Just no.

We just stared at each other.

I lost track of the minutes between our eyes. It had felt like too long since I last saw her. She wasn't made up like I was normally used to. Her hair was beautifully disheveled and put up in a messy pony tail. Her slender neck exposed for my eyes to see, curls falling out every which way in gorgeous chaos. Her usual make up was practically non existent besides a faint line of eyeliner that was mostly an attempt at looking human. Her usual alt. rock chic attire was traded in for simple tight jeans and band tee combo. I'd never seen Ashley done up so...simple before. I don't think she was used to it by the uncertain look in her eye as my eyes caught the unconscious tugging of her tee shirt. That's when I realized I was staring and snapped my eyes up.

Crap. I swivel around, facing the mirror and watching the uncertain emotions playing across my face clearly.

My heart races in my ribcage as Ashley's footsteps echo in the suddenly crowded bathroom.

"Spencer. I-I...um how are you?" She whispers uncertainly. Her eyes are pleading for me to look at her...but I just can't. My heart shakes and thrashes in my chest, my body recalling the bittersweet memory of her lips on mine. Damn it! Damn it damn it damn it! Don't you _dare_ cry! Not now. Not here. Fuck!

From the corner of my eye, I notice Madison grit her teeth, her breaths harsh against the back of her clenched teeth. She's irritated. Beyond the point of being justifiable right now.

_Like no shit._

And her glare is sharper as it cuts through Ashley. It was like every bit of hate and malice she harbored in her body was being hurled at Ashley like knives through the air.

"Busy. We're having a private conversation here."

Madison slings what I'm guessing is hurtful Spanish at Ashley while I just stand there.

Why am I not saying anything? Why is Madison saying anything at all?

"Spencer?" Ashley opens her mouth to say something else but she's interrupted...again.

"Are you deaf, puta?" Madison snarls.

Ashley snaps her gaze away from me and sends Madison a scathing look, one I've never seen on her pretty face before. I didn't like it there. It felt misplaced. She should only ever be smiling. Even though...it seems she hasn't been doing a lot of that lately...if the dark bags under her eyes are anything to go by. Then again, I'm only speculating ...or whatever.

I shake my head roughly.

This general lack of certainty lately is giving me a headache.

But Ashley was here and so was I. Now's as good a time as any to finally talk to her.

I hesitantly pick my head up toward Madison, her body was tense, jaw clenched and eyes on fire as they burned Ashley to her very soul. Ashley never wavered.

I can't believe I'm in this situation. I can't believe Madison Duarte was...protecting me? I shook my head. This was too weird.

I wasn't sure exactly what the proper etiquette would be when your supposed arch nemesis is comforting you in an empty girls bathroom and needling her big nose into your sapphic love life - or lack there of - where you _know_ it doesn't belong all the while the very object of your angsty teen comes bustling in and ripping out your heart -

_Whoa. Breathe dude._

Sorry.

I look at Madison.

Um thanks but please don't hug me and gouge me in the back with your acrylic nails. Thanks.

"Madison?" God I can't believe I'm saying this. Or that I'm using her name so casually. Like her and I have heart to hearts in deserted bathrooms all the time.

Her head turns and she looks at me almost softly, which still throws me to see. "Yeah." Exactly when did Madison Duarte become start looking at me like that?

"Can...can you excuse us for a minute?" I flick my eyes from her to Ashley, emphasizing my meaning.

She looks shocked and so does Ashley for a minute until the brunette smiles softly. Then Madison screws her expression into something ugly, her soft look sharpening immediately at the sight of Ashley's hopeful smile.

"Soy tan idiota." She murmurs under her breath in Spanish before shaking her head and storming out of the bathroom, but not before shoulder checking Ashley on her way out.

I frown at that.

Well...here she is. Now what?

_Grovel?_

And?

_Beg for forgiveness?_

I internally groan at that. Because for whatever reason I felt like I owed her a grande sized apology.

"Please say something." Ashley says softly after several minutes of silence between us.

I don't look at her right away and I think she mistakes that as a refusal because I can her hear dejected bootstraps leading her to the door.

I plucked courage out of thin air, "Wait." Ashley stops where she now stood a good few feet away from me. Golly. She felt miles away.

I finally look at her, my heart racing. "Don't go. I - I'm sorry that I've been ignoring you." Her body stiffens at this, her back muscles visibly taut as she stands straight, her tank top almost straining against her tension. I push that thought as far away as possible and continue. "I'm sorry I pushed you away each and every time you wanted to talk. I'm sorry I deleted every text message you sent me and only then read one. I'm sorry if Chelsea made you pee your pants because she was being really protective of me. I'm sorry about your lip because it really looks like it hurts and all I want to do is kiss it better. I'm sorry I can't think of anything pretty to say to make this all better and make you not sad anymore. I'm so sorry I ran away on Thursday and made you run after me barefoot in cold grass and loose gravel roads. I'm sorry I can't just be brave and tell you what that kiss meant to me. What every kiss you give me does to my heart and body. I'm sorry this apology sucks. I'm sorry I keep saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry I -," Ashley has turned around during my long winded grovel fest, her eyes kind but still firm...in what way I have no idea. She doesn't speak, doesn't try to stop me as I sputter an apology one right after another. She just waits, smiles every so often or frowns, and at one point stares in utter astonishment and heat.

Heat has become synonymous with Ashley, without question.

"I'm..." I swallow roughly, my throat suddenly going dry and seizing my vocal cords together, halting any noise from escaping. "I'm sorry I let you walk away." My head bows after that. I can't even bring myself to look at her now. My hands are much more interesting. They lack the power to rip out my heart and squeeze till there's nothing left, nothing solid and strong.

She silent for too long and I risk look up at her.

She watches my hands as they thread and bounce nervously with each other. My cheeks burst an embarrassing shade of magenta when I see her watching me and I lower my head again shyly.

Get a grip!

I fiddle uneasily with my fingers a moment more and go to shove them deep into my jean pockets until Ashley's hand shoots forward and grabs them gently, almost sweetly, in her own. My heart thundered and bruised the inside of my chest in an almost painful manner but given all that and all the angst of the last couple days, and all the crying and the snotty mountain of tissues that currently resides where my waste basket used to be situated, visibly might I add...I couldn't pull my hands away. I think it'd hurt more if I did. I missed her touch. Her warm fingers and teasing caresses. God. I just missed HER. So much it's ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. I'm in love. And if she does exactly what I keep dreading her doing to me...I'm in deep shit. If she rejects me ...I...

_Stop thinking about that, you masochist._

Leave me the fuck alone. Emotional turmoil means back the fuck off, alright?

_...you're gunna be fine Spencer. Just listen to her. Just shut up and listen._

I lift my worried eyes up carefully, the baby blues taking in every curve and span of tan perfect skin before, finally, reluctantly, looking into sympathetic brown.

I realize my hands are sweaty and I curse myself for not wiping them on my jeans or something before hand. Breathe dammit!

"Ashley I-"

"Do you like coffee?" She says suddenly.

I blink, my brow crinkling a little. "Uh y-yeah. I guess but I don't-"

"Have caffeine with me. I-I mean coffee!" She rushes out quickly. She closes her eyes and breathes deeply. She pauses and her voice is much calmer when she says, "Have coffee ...with me." I know she meant it as a suggestion but her uncertainty makes it sound more like a question. My lips twitch upwards because for some reason I find this Ashley inexplicably charming.

I nod before I can think about it. Then I'm nodding a lot and smiling, giggling a little like a dweeb. _Why_ am I giggling randomly?

For a moment she pauses and then smiles up at me, a smile that starts in her eyes and spreads everywhere. Wow. My heart races and stumbles in my chest at the sight of that gorgeous smile.

Did I do that? I can't help but beam at her too and then suddenly we're both giggling at each other.

We're weird.

But so damn cute it'd be a needless lie not to admit it.

And you so know we are.

* * *

**Okay so that's that. Whew! God! So glad that's over with. And hey. I cranked out a little more than 8,000 words so it's not like I was doing _nothing. _Mostly.  
**

**So first off I honestly don't beleive Spencer owed Ashley anything. Especially not an apology but there you have it and I'm going to rectify that over sight next chapter. That is if any of you are still interested. :)**

**So review and I'll get started on the next chapter. **

**Peace.**

**- Lil' Miss**


	27. Temporary Sweetener

**Sup guys. I'm sorry about the long ass delay. It's been busy. As usual. Family and school demanded my attention. Family mostly. Those attention whores. ;) But I'm back so no need to worry. Also for smiles I have the next chapter actually written. So no more waiting so long. XD**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

So I made Ashley pick the coffee place after school because I barely know where anything is... Still. I didn't want to feel rushed and it seemed like this was looking to be a long conversation. Or at least a slow one.

So here we were...drinking coffee...together...and now Ashley just stood up with a quite sigh - though I still managed to hear it - and left to go get us some napkins or something. I really don't see the point of getting that many when the drink came with three leafs for each cup but Ashley mumbled something about how she was going to go get some and then stood up and left.

I groaned softly once she was out of ear shot and ran my fingers through my hair. This was insane. Ever since I apologized Ashley has been...not distant per say but...away...I don't even know. Like, she can't focus on just one thing to think about so she just thinks of everything that's bugging her all at once. Or something...

Another sigh.

When Ashley came back she seemed less...away...than before. Which was good. I think. Oh. I see she also came back with more napkins than two people would know what to do with in one sitting. I guess if this conversation- _What conversation? _-gets any more exciting I can make origami shit out of it.

_Too bad you don't know origami._

Sigh.

It was uncomfortable, I'll admit. We just kinda sat at the table not saying a word to each other. It was agony. Several times I tried to speak, and fill the anxious air with noise so it wouldn't be as tense. Well, tried being keyword here. I would open my mouth, a word on my tongue and then...nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Crap.

A couple times I would manage a garbled sound or two and Ashley would whip her head up to look at me but then I'd close my damn unhelpful mouth and start ripping the napkin in my hand instead.

_Coward._

This time I agree with you.

_But you only have so many napkins kid. You're gunna have to say something eventually. Because if not then what was the point of coming here. This opportunity to clear the air would have been wasted. You seriously need to say something eventually._

But what do I say? I already fumbled a few I'm sorries and threw them at her only a few hours ago. Which Ashley still hasn't commented on. Not unless you count the numerous sighs she made. And she mostly just frowned a lot.

Yeah. None of that makes me feel very okay about the situation I find myself in.

"I wish you hadn't of apologized." Ashley whispered a moment later. Her expression was difficult to read as she stared into her coffee cup, back lent casually against the chair rest.

My brows furrowed.

I'm confused...

What?

Ashley sighed and rolled her eyes, almost like she was frustrated with herself. "That was my fault actually. I should have stopped you when you started. You have nothing to apologize for Spence." Ashley said softly, her head shaking.

"I-I but ... I -"

"Did nothing wrong." She said firmly, shaking her head again. "You did absolutely _nothing_ wrong. As far as I'm concerned it all was a fucked up misunderstanding. If anything the only one that should be apologizing is Kyla." Ashley growled, her last few words were nothing but a rough snarl. It sounded kinda hot. Not gunna lie.

"I um...but...okay?" My brows furrowed.

Ashley smiles softly, her nose scrunching up slightly as she watches me sputter. I'm like really confused right now. So...I didn't do anything wrong...Ashley is still amazing as she always was...and now we're going for coffee? Stop me if I'm wrong ... but I think I blew this apology idea way out of proportion.

_Duh. Welcome to the conversation._

I frowned a little. "So...you're not mad that I ran?"

She smiled, shaking her head. "Nope. Actually...though I wish you would have stayed so I could have explained myself, I don't blame you for needing to get out of there. Don't blame you one bit."

"Oh...well...okay?"

Ashley giggles, eyes sparking with obvious mirth. "You okay? Did I completely throw you or something?"

I nod. "Or something." I murmured. "Wow okay so no apologies?" Ashley grins widely, her brown eyes amused at my inability to grasp the situation.

"Nope." Ashley palms her jaw, elbow resting on the table as she smirks at me. "Ya know," She drawls, her other hand beginning to stir her coffee slowly with the straw. "you're kinda cute when you're confused."

I frown at this, my brows crinkling together. "I am? I uh...um err thank you?"

Ashley laughs and I blush hotly.

"Too easy." She chuckles.

I pout playfully and throw my crumpled up straw wrapper at her. "Rude."

She laughs some more, her dimples winking at me. The sight of her looking so happy makes me fall in love all over again and I know my racing heart agrees with me.

Ashley quiets down a moment and smirks, her eyes easing down to her coffee as she takes a sip of it.

"So I just have one question though."

Ashley looks up, her expression becoming open. "Shoot."

"So...what happened with your...um..." I gesture to my lip, tapping it, indicating to her split one. It seemed to be healing nicely at least.

Her eyes darkened at that. "Kyla." Was all she said as she looked down at her coffee again and took another sip, this one slower than the last.

My eyes widened. "Oh."

"Yeah." She drawled.

"So her face..." I lightly bumped my fist into my cheek in demonstration. Ashley nods slowly.

Oh... I looked down at Ashley's bruised knuckles. My lips turned downward as my eyes outlined the painful colors blooming and receding in swirls and splatters. I wanted to touch it. Dilute the colors and erase them from the canvas entirely. They looked awful. It looked like they said hello to a brick wall than her sister's face.

Maybe her sister has a hard head. Heh.

_Not appropriate right now._

Sorry.

I couldn't stop staring at her hand. It probably wasn't polite but I couldn't help it.

Ashley didn't seem to mind as I slowly inched my hand closer to hers on the table, and then carefully grasping the calloused fingertips with my own and hooking mine around hers, tugging them gently to me.

Ashley simply smiled as she let me take her hand. I made myself be incredibly gentle, knowing that Ashley was watching every move I made. Cautious fingertips smoothed over angry flesh, tracing every dimple and painful looking blemish my eyes could take in. I don't even know what came over me. What drove me to do it but before I could stop myself and think about it, I lifted her battered hand and placed my lips to each knuckle, bestowing a kiss that I wished I could have held longer. I don't even know if I'll get that chance again. To kiss her, I mean.

Our eyes locked. Hers almost seemed to twinkle as they looked up from our hands, cutting me softly.

I felt my heart flutter in my chest.

Seriously. I don't know if I'll ever get tired of those eyes. They'll do me in I'll tell ya.

I cough suddenly. I needed noise. I needed a distraction. The napkins were starting to lose their appeal. Also I ran out. The large pile of ripped paper is testament to that fact. Thankfully Ashley hasn't commented on it.

"But um really...sorry about Kyla's face." Good. Subject changes are good.

She raises an eyebrow. "Why? I'm not."

_She does have a point._

She didn't give a point.

_So? Oh don't tell me you're not just a little bit smug that Ms Woods' face looks like an abstract painting. All blotchy and disorienting to look at._

Rude.

_Truth._

Well, yeah.

_Ha!_

Ugh.

"Me neither. I was kinda just being polite." I say.

Ashley smiles. "Don't bother. She doesn't deserve the kindness."

I shrug.

"Speaking of my horrendous sister..."

Well that's a conversation starter.

"How long have you known Kyla?"

I shrug. "Maybe a year or so."

"A year." She shakes her head, looking upset by this new information. "See. That just won't do. Now it looks like I have a year of Spencer time to make up for."

I raise an eyebrow. "Since when is this a contest?" I asked with a smile.

"Since you became more interesting than a name on a spreadsheet." She said with an easy smirk.

...spreadsheet? What?

"Besides any excuse to hang out with my favorite blonde is reason enough for me." She smiles charmingly.

Swoon!

_Wow it doesn't take much to get you distracted does it?_

Ashley looks at me for a few moments in silence, a slow smile working its way on her lips. She bites her lip. "When was the last time we did something with just the two of us? Without the expectation of working on this damn play I mean?

My brow furrows. "Err...never."

"Seems like thats something we should fix don't you?" Her brow raises carefully.

I look up from my crumpled napkin with wide eyes and just watch her for a moment. Did she...is she asking me out?

_Whoa there Nelly! Now hold yerr britches for nary a minute. You don't know if she asked you out._

"We could go to the movies."

_Or maybe she did._

Her smile falls once she notices my shocked expression before I can wipe it clean.

"Or we could do something else! We could uh...we could go out to eat or something? Or-"

Oh my golly she is so cute when she's all worked up.

"Ashley...I love the movies. The movies sound fine."

Ashley smiles, looking relieved as she chuckles slightly. "Good. Great...um ...so this weekend? Well unless you have like, plans or something we could -"

"No plans. Just you."

_Just you? Why don't you just jump over the table right now?_

"Uhyuh I mean. That would be lovely. This weekend it is."

It's silent.

"So...are we okay?" She drawls uncertainly. Ashley still looks unsure which makes me hate myself even more. I needed to fix this. This whole thing wasn't her fault. She just happens to be related to annoying people. I can relate.

I find myself nodding, a soft smile on my lips. "Yeah. We're okay."

Its like the sun is shining when she smiles. I watch as she beams at my answer, her shoulders straightening. "Awesome." She looks relieved and I only realize then that my shoulders unclench slightly and I breathe a little easier.

She smiles adorably at me, nose crinkling.

And she doesn't say anything when my thumb begins rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand.

I'm starting to think she never will.

* * *

Tuesday morning carried me in a much cheerer disposition than yesterday. I'm not a morning person by any means, and I would much rather glare at you than wish you good morning - whatever that means this freaking early in the morning...but today was different. Today was better. Today I had waffles and Ashley...maybe Ashley...most likely Ashley...it's a work in progress alright!

Anyways...as I was saying today was looking up. I just had this really strong feeling like something big was going to happen today.

Xander picked me up this morning and we drove to school in comfortable silence. Which is a little uncommon for him, us. Well mostly him but I reason that it's because of our mutual understanding for each other now. Except now, today, I may be in better favor of...something than he is with Chelsea. Maybe...most likely...I don't freaking know!

It wasn't until after third period when I went to use the little girl's room that my wonderfully awesome mood died a horribly violent death...

I'll give you one guess...

And no it isn't Madison.

It's worse...

Figured it out yet?

Uh-huh.

"So I heard you're backing out on the play. Smart move." Said Bitchy McNot-Fabulous with the smarmiest smuggiest smirk that I desperately wanted to rip off with a pair of my Dad's rusty pliers.

"What?"

"Still deaf I see." She sighs, the loud air rushing out of her as if just this conversation alone was taxing the life out of her. "The _play_. You chocked. And I'm glad to hear it." Still smug. Damn her.

My eyes narrow.

It wasn't smart. It's never smart to laugh at a possibly deranged individual and call them on their wrong information - or so I've been told - but here I am, being not smart and possibly suicidal and doing it anyway. "Huh. Check your sources sweetheart. It looks like I'm back in the running and still ahead of you."

_Why do you want to egg on the possibly psychotic chick that seems to hate your guts?_

Cause it's fun.

_Oi vey._

Amanda gives me a murderous look, one that makes me rethink taunting the chick with the twitching eyes was a good idea.

"Is that so?" She walks closer to me from her perch against one of the sinks to push me against the wall roughly, her pale arm shooting to the other side of my head so I couldn't escape.

I nearly sneered at her.

The hell?!

Her face hovers over mine, a threat in her eyes. A threat I was beginning to take seriously now.

Amanda's voice was low. A clear warning on her lips. A violent one actually, "I'd watch my back if I was you Carlin. Never know when you'll look back and find a knife shoved in it."

My eyes widened before I could mask it.

_Tell me again why it was such a good idea to piss off the _actual_ psychopath?_

* * *

**She crazy...O.O**

**Spencer better take Amanda's advice...or at least have people take shifts to watch it for her. Maybe rotate on the weekends. Hmmm...**

**So what do you guys think of Ashley and Spencer's coffee non-date?**

**Let me know what you think, meaning REVIEW! XD**

**- Lil' Miss**


	28. Nosediving Not Recommended

**Ohmeegawdohmeegawdohmeegawd! I am sooooo sorry. I came for a two day long visit to help my parents move into their new house and then a two day long visit turned a week long visit. Which turned into a "by the way we have no Internet but here's the couch."**

***sigh***

**One good thing? Because I was stranded (dying) with no Internet (I may have a problem) I had nothing to do but read and write so I made this chapter 3000 words longer than it was originally. So yeah, there ya go. I'm just gunna leave this here for ya. *backs away slowly* um...**

**ENJOY!**

***flees!***

* * *

Wow. A pornographic picture of me with a dick. Real original guys.

I held in a much needed sigh - so no one would hear how much this shit was frustrating me - as I twisted the combo and opened my newly defaced gym locker. Just when I was getting used to the picture of the rather exaggerated version of me with stubble and the manliest of bubble drawn physiques I ever seen now have to get used to this...eye sore. It wasn't an addition to the other ones. It was a drawing all on its own but it was bold...and I mean **BOLD**. Arrows were everywhere. _**DYKE**_ was written at least thirteen times. My favorite number. And apparently I now had a third leg. Shoe shopping will probably be awkward now.

This day just seems to be nose diving. Stupid Amanda and her stupid insanity. I'm loathe to admit this, but, she's beginning to freak me out. What with the threats and the general intense staring from afar that I know she's been doing all week. I swear she should have her own serial killer theme song. Like Jason or Freddie but with disturbing dance numbers and possibly jazz hands.

Shudder. Ugh. Jazz hands.

It could be my little warning signal to get the fuck away. Far away. I'll rent a space shuttle if I have to. Those are reasonably priced, right?

So I've been a little on edge.

_Understatement._

My friends say I've been jumpy. Even Madison commented on it. Which was weird. And I thought I reached weird one shirtless, soda covered Spencer ago. But Madison definitely takes the cake. And the pie. And the hoagy, though I'm not sure what a hoagy is but she's taking it. Anyways, that's not important right now. The problem is that Amanda is getting to me. She's squirming under my skin and playing peek-a-boo to my easily startled nerves. Darn her mental instability and her need to make my day suck. Just, darn it.

And to top it all off, I haven't seen Ashley all day. I'm trying not to read too much into what that means but it's hard not doubting events and feelings when just yesterday morning it felt like I was on the threshold of hell. And then we went out for coffee and...it's almost like we didn't even talk about anything we wanted to. I still don't know what exactly is going on with us. Or what that kiss meant. And it's killing me not knowing where I stand and what's appropriate anymore. I mean, is hugging too much now? Is that saying something more than 'hey you look warm, let's embrace'?"

These are the things I would like to know.

It wasn't all bad today. It just...wasn't all good. Like at all. Meaning ever.

I stare into my gym locker with mild disdain. Right now is pretty much prime fucking example of what my day has been like. And my boobs are so not that small!

"I think you're in the wrong locker room dyke. No guys aloud." Sherri snickers and looks back to the group behind her for their reaction. Oh would ya look at that? Bitch got herself a posse. Good for her! I roll my eyes and ignore her as I continue to get my gym clothes out. I wouldn't be changing here. Hopefully a stall was open.

"Girls cover yourselves before Spencer pops a boner." More snickers. A couple girls actually do try and hold their towels and clothes tighter to their bodies. My face goes red and I fight the urge to react. I don't normally let girls like Sherri get to me but it was just the masses following her taunts like they were facts that... Well it just hurt more than I'd ever admit out loud. Or let anyone see on my face. Especially this bitch right here. Looks like Sherri either shot up in rank over Madison or she's forming her own little clique so she doesn't have to rent cranium space with Madison anymore. Either way, she was beginning to piss me off.

I clench my teeth and stuff my text books into the locker from my bag. I usually put my bag in Chelsea's locker because the last time I put it in mine someone broke in and trashed my stuff. The culprit was never found, of course, but I have my suspicions. And since then I've been putting my stuff in Chelsea's locker. People here either respect Chelsea too much to mess with her or they're too intimidated...

Yeah. She has that effect on people sometimes.

The next instant the ever fabulous Chelsea Lewis comes striding down the row of lockers like she owned the goddamn building, large purse held a little high in the air and swiftly smacking Sherri in the back of the head with it. "Shut up foo."

Which made me smile.

Chelsea doesn't even break stride as she goes to her locker like nothing just happened. "Oh honey you wish she'd pop one for your bony ass. Too bad Spence here has actual taste. Maybe you'll have better luck getting a date from your third cousin... Or was it your brother? I forget the details."

I glance at Sherri and notice with pride as the girl rubbed the back of her head with irritation. Oh yeah. I had almost forgotten about that scandal. It almost became Sherri's undoing last year when she brought a date to Prom. Said date turned out to be there on obligation and was actually her kid cousin. She was caught in a lie when questioned how they met and so on and so forth. Sherri put on the dramatics and came out looking like an ass when someone caught a flaw in her story. Short story: she lied and was pasted as an incestuous snob. The snob part is true of course. Don't know about the other stuff, though I think it was mostly exaggerated. But its not really my business so don't care to know the details. Not even now really. Though I would like to slap her with my Chem book. If nothing else than just for giggles.

Sherri glares at Chelsea for a long moment. Chelsea just raises her brow in response, challenging her to rebuttal. Neither backs down until a minute later Sherri huffs and stomps off - hair flip included, while her human Barbie collection follows closely behind - hair flip also included. Chelsea shakes her head as she puts her purse in her locker and makes room for my bag to fit in there.

"Wow. Was that the most pitiful display of posturing or has Sherri just hit a new low?"

I snort and zip my bag closed. "I think she just got tired of renting out Madison's ass for her head." I say dryly as I slam my locker shut.

"Either way it - whoa! What the hell?" Chelsea looks stunned. "Again? Are you serious?!" She gestures uselessly to the unwanted artwork on my door and I look at what she's pointing at with a slight frown. She was right. It was getting pretty old. Stupid teenagers.

I wave it off like its nothing - mostly because I don't want to keep thinking about it and I don't want her to either. "Oh that. What? You no like?"

It's not working though. She's still gesturing. A lot.

"Like? I - shit did Sherri do this?" Ooh Chelsea no look happy.

I shrugged. I honestly have no idea. It was just there when I got here. "No clue." I did notice that the girls still changing around us had either slowed in their progress or had completely gone silent and tried to look especially involved in what they were doing.

"Bitches be crazy." Chelsea grumbles and opens her locker door wider. "Come on. Put your stuff in so you can go change. Wouldn't want to be late for gym." She says cheerfully though it's completely forced. I think she just wanted to get out of there. I'm right there with ya hon.

I force myself to smile. "Oh that'd be lovely. Can I have fries with that too?"

Chelsea laughs. "Get your shit in there."

I chuckle and do as I'm told.

"Also, your boobs are totally not that tiny."

"I know right!"

* * *

This stinks. Who says sweating profusely is mandatory anyway? They should be shot. Or at least lectured extensively. Maybe grounded. Slapping would work too I bet.

"I hate gym."

"I know, honey."

"Well I do."

"I believe you."

"I hate it and everything it stands for."

"Are you going to break into song now?"

"And-and what do we need it for anyway?"

"Probably to prevent us from becoming gelatinous blobs whose only goal in life is to Twitter every waking moment of it."

"I don't get Twitter."

"I know you don't, honey."

"And what happens when you tweet me something? Does that mean I've been twatted?"

"You did not just say that."

"No, I'm serious. It's a legitimate question."

"It's a stupid question."

"Well I think gym is stupid."

"And here we go."

"And you know what else is stupid?"

"No but I bet your gunna tell me."

"Amber. I-I mean Amanda. Err gah whatever that evil spawn of ...EVIL's name is!"

"Great comeback."

"It's a work in progress."

"Your brain is a work in progress."

"You've been hanging around Xander too much."

Chelsea's spine stiffens as I continue to walk.

"What's that supposed to mean? Why? What have you heard?"

Suddenly I realize I'm walking alone and very much Chelsea-less and look back. Her eyes are somewhat panicked.

What's her deal? Paranoid much?

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing." She says quickly, falling into step with me easily, though her pace seems much more hurried. And my poor legs are having trouble as it is. This is Chelsea's 'leisurely' pace. Except her pace is my 'oh shit the zombies are after us!' pace.

No but seriously. What just happened?

_Could it have been - oh I don't know - something you _said_ perhaps?_

All I did was mention Xan... der... oh now I get it...Interesting. You think she-?

_Maybe._

Hmm.

I file that thought for later and resume my rant. And a rant is always a rant for a reason... ... okay lies. But this time its not. But we're so picking that topic up later.

I swallow the questions on my tongue and pull Fake Stern face. "Hey! Back in line soldier. I'm not finished ranting about general nonsense and my misery."

_Resuming a conversation like nothing just happened. Check._

Chelsea rolled her eyes and shook her tense shoulders subtly. I still caught it though but didn't mention it.

I seriously wonder what I'm going to do about you Chels. You're not as unshakeable as you'd like to think.

We walk the track a few more times before the coach's whistle calls us in for the next activity.

Volleyball.

Well I never was up to dying from natural causes anyhow.

Let the uncoordinated games begin.

Which will mostly likely end in blood shed...and or death. Which ever comes first.

I hate gym.

Have I mentioned that I love volleyball? Especially when the team I'm on happens to be winning.

Does that make me a shallow person...?

Oh who cares when we're kicking this much ass!

It also doesn't hurt one teensy wittle bit that the other team has Amanda on it.

Thats right. Intense creepy chick is going down.

I watch as Chelsea jumps up and snaps her fist forward, spiking the ball and scoring us another point.

I cheered and high fived Chelsea as I was transitioning my position up front. My girl had an arm. I turn my head just as the coach blows her ear splitting whistle and it all happens so fast. Immediately after I hear a resounding smack of the ball and a sharp burst of pressure and pain strikes me in the face. I'm suddenly on my back with my head following gravity's lead against the floor and the world spinning violently. My eyes feel like they're rolling around in my skull like a cartoon character.

Ugh...when did I get on the tea cup ride? I...I think I need a sick bag...can I like...get off now?

I hear what sounds like a hundred squeaky footsteps all clambering around me. Someone was yelling my name frantically and I almost want to tell them that I'm present. Is ...is the teacher taking roll?

I groan as I feel the urge to cover my nose with my hand and am only mildly surprised when met with something wet and sticky. A throbbing warmth spreads between my hands and drips down my cheeks. That...that can't be what I...is it? Ugh...stop thinking. For the love of...

"Spencer! Oh my God! Fuck girl are you okay? How many fingers am I holding up? What's my name? How many Chelsea's do you see? Do I need to call an ambulance? Who's the current black president of the United States?" Her voice was panicked and I immediately feel bad for worrying her. Poor Chelsea. But Chelsea needs to shut the hell up because I'm pretty sure my head is currently in two pieces. Can like, someone get the other piece? I think it went somewhere...not here...ugh my head.

"Uuuuunnng. Chelfff shufff yerr pie hoe."

I hear a deep sigh of relief and then a breathy chuckle. "Oh thank God...yup. You'll live."

I groan and Chelsea carefully helps me to my feet. I wince instantly at the sudden head rush but the movement of my forehead and nose makes me groan louder. Gym is so dangerous. I should sue...or something.

I felt my knees give out and suddenly Chelsea is supporting most of my weight, her voice worried as she steadies me and asks me if I'm alright. It takes me a moment but I brush her off weakly, stating how completely okay I am. I'm totally fine.

And then I'm not since Chelsea is keeping me from hitting the floor again.

Whoa. Equilibrium. Where'd you go? You should like, come back ...as in now damn it.

Um...I think I'll sue later. Yeah. Later sounds good.

I make an ill timed comment about me misplacing my center of gravity for a moment and that I was still as fine as ever. Chelsea was not amused. But in her defense, she rarely is by my jokes. Which are totally funny mind you. Right? They are... aren't they?

A few of the girls on my team were asking if I was alright and I gave a blood covered thumbs up as my response - which did nothing to reassure them surprisingly. Kelly, another girl in my gym class, offered to help Chelsea carry me to the nurse. Which is totally unnecessary...

I open my mouth to make another inappropriately timed comedic protest when Chelsea cuts her eyes to me.

"Spencer Carlin I swear to God if you make another crack about you being Gabrielle, the Amazon Queen and that you never get hurt I swear I'm going to hurt you as soon as you feel better."

Or it's totally necessary and I should shut up now.

"Shuffin' up."

Where's a black hole of sucking redundant blackness when you need it?

We're slow to walk as both girls walk on either side of me. I honestly don't need the help. However, I also don't have a death wish so I'm not arguing with Chelsea here, who was currently in protective mama bear mode right now. The coach stops us and gives Chelsea and Kelly permission to walk me to the nurse and tells us that she already phoned ahead to tell her we were on our way.

We mutter our thank yous before heading to the exit. It wasn't until I heard my name that I stopped walking.

"Oh Spencer, I'm so sorry," Amanda faked an apology. She didn't even look at me; she was staring at her nails. "I hope that serve doesn't result in any life long disfiguring damage."

Is she for real right now?

"Yeah 'm fer. It's totally coo... I'm only bleeding…" I pulled my hand away from my nose and watched as wet crimson glistened and covered my entire hand, droplets beginning to pool together and fall from in between my fingers. "Like a lot. But since you're so sowwy. Hey. I don' mind." I wave her off.

"Glad to here it." She smirked - evilly in my opinion. Bordering on maniacal if you asked me. I wouldn't be surprised if she practiced that in front of the mirror. Glad to here it- ha! I know sarcasm when I hear it. I may be bloody, dizzy and blonde but I'm not completely deluded.

Bitch if I could hit you without falling over I'd... probably still make Chelsea do it. Bitch. What now?

Despite myself I narrow my eyes, lips in a straight line, firm and sobered. Amanda is still looking at her nails, looking to the world like she just wanted this inconvenience to end and quickly. But I had a pretty sick feeling like she was enjoying this. My feeling only became accurate as Amanda snapped her eyes to the side, head still and remaining in character. Her eyes shining in triumph, smirking in that irritating way I've come to expect from her. I hated what that look told me. She'd won and she knew it. Whatever game she was playing; she'd won. She'd gotten to me. I was bleeding wasn't I?

My heart sped and I looked away from her. We were near the exit anyway.

Chelsea holds my hand tightly as she guides me to the double doors. But I notice she's trying not to look at me too much. She's never been a fan of blood. Too bad for her it seems to be all over me. It had started dripping off my chin when my hand couldn't contain the excess any more. Spots of blood dotted the front of my gym shirt and a little on my blue Converse. I probably look like a vampire's wet dream. The bleeding had slowed. Thankfully. Of course Kelly still liked poking fun at my expense.

"Damn Carlin. Do you ever stop bleeding?" Kelly joked. I took the statement for what it was and chuckled weakly. A louder one would have hurt like a bitch.

"Don' know. Do ya ever stop talkin' Sanders?"

Kelly's supportive arm around my waist gave me a soft squeeze as she smiled sweetly.

"Nope."

I hummed softly in the back of my throat as my response. My head was starting to hurt.

Kelly's grip tightened a little more as we walked out of the gymnasium and into the hallway. She and I had actually became somewhat friends last year when we were in the same class. We weren't as close as I am with Xander and Chels but I still considered her one. She was nice. One of the few girls I've met here that didn't tense up when they found out about how totally over the rainbow I was. Which is weird because I thought LA was supposed to be super liberal or at least eclectic. Mostly it was just Madison's doing. Her negative propaganda against me has kinda sunken what little reputation I had.

Which makes it kinda awesome that people like Kelly didn't seem to care. But it was too bad I didn't hang out more with Kel last year. This year seems harder to manage that since we didn't necessarily have classes this year and it also doesn't help that we associate with a different crowd. Well, if you could call my weirdo friends a crowd, that is.

The slow walk to the nurse was filled with Kelly and I trading barbs back and forth with Chelsea offering a comment here and there but for the most part remaining quiet. I don't think she liked that I was hurt and probably bleeding to death from the nose and making jokes.

Eh. It's how I cope. You should see me when I have a near death experience ...and when I have one I'll let you know how that turns out. Probably hilarious and inappropriate.

The nurse hurried me in when we got there. Fussing and asking all sorts of questions that I wasn't really up to answering but I did anyway. Chelsea and Kelly supplied answers when I was starting to get dizzy again. Even though I was sitting down.

The nurse's face was pulled in a frown as she looked over my nose, cold fingers prodding as gently and precisely as she could to minimize discomfort. She's silent as she looks me over and a few moments pass before she makes a indiscernible noise in her throat and stands up from her chair to write something down on a paper. She doesn't say anything right away and all this silence was reminding me how on edge I was.

She looks grim as she watched me hold my head.

What is with people and suspense? Spit it out already!

"I think it would be best if you went to the hospital for an x-ray. Its possible that it might be broken."

"Broken?!"

_So much for your modeling career._

The nurse gives me a sympathetic look. "It's looking that way. The bruising suggests it."

I'm panicking. I'm fucking panicking because I'm covered in dry, cold blood and I'm dizzy and sporting a possibly imploded crater where my nose used to be and...and I'm dizzy. "Well...suggest something else then! It can't be broken. My fragile love life depends on it! And if you knew how lacking said love life is for me you'd know how disasterious this is!" And I've completely lost my mind.

The woman raises her brow at my outburst, blinking a little before continuing, "Be that as it may I think its in your best interest if you went to the hospital to get it checked out."

I moaned like a wounded animal. I hated hospitals. Which is ironic because my mother works in one all day long ...okay maybe that's not so much ironic as coincidental but whatever. I still hated them.

"Do you know if your parents will be able to get off work and pick you up?"

"Just call my mother. She works there."

The nurse smiles softly and nods. "Is her cell phone number still current from what I have written in your file?"

My shoulders sag a bit. "Should be."

"Okay. I'll give her a call. Just hang tight okay?"

The nurse leaves the small room to go make the call.

I turn to my friends and frown a little. "God. She makes me sound like I'm dying."

Chelsea smiles. "Well thank God you're not. But if your nose is broken she has to notify someone or she'd get sued and fired."

Not the best combination.

"And anyways I think she's more worried that you might have a concussion. I am too as a matter of fact. "

I look up at Chels and Kelly. "Don't be. I'm fine. Just a little blood." Chelsea snorts at the word little. "Thanks for bringing me guys.

"Do you uh...want us to wait with you?" Kelly asks as she looks from Chelsea to me. She's not really sure if she has the right now since Chelsea is the best friend.

I slip a smile in place as best I can but it's crooked and hanging precariously on my face. Smiles mean pain.

Bad pain. Shoo.

I feel sluggish and gross and the world is blaring and sharp and fuzzy all at once. Maybe Chelsea was onto something when she mentioned a concussion ...or whatever.

Ugh.

"So I got a hold of your mom and she said she would be here as soon as she could."

So tomorrow morning, in other words. "Yay."

The nurse tosses me another one of those unhelpful sympathetic smiles and it just looks pained now. I look down at my fingers and remember that I'm still covered in my own blood. The nurse was able to wipe my mouth and chin but was hesitant to go near my nose and eyes. My wet fingers made a mess I guess.

I look like a zombie extra.

I groan and palm my forehead. I sound like a zombie extra.

I hate that I love horror movies. I should be appalled at the sight of my red hands and forearms but my love for zombie movies and anything alien invasion-y has apparently desensitize my poor innocent soul.

How helpful.

* * *

Several hours later...

So it's broken. Yippee doo da to me. I swear the universe has it out for me. Stupid universe.

So again, it's broken like I said. Hair line fracture. Which is medical jargon for it will heal quickly. I think. Is that what the doctors said? I don't really remember a whole lot. Just that I have a concussion, nose is broke, my face will be bruised for several weeks and it's really fucking swollen. Course I didn't need the doctor to tell me that last part. I can practically see the large mass between my eyes. And I don't even have to cross them to do it. Doing that gives me a headache anyway.

Who knew volleyball could be so dangerous?

"Spencer, honey. A friend is here to see you." A friend? Hmm. It must be Xander or Chels. I didn't think I'd see either of them till tomorrow.

"'Kay. Thiksss Dad." Did I mention that I sound like I'm drunk? Side effect of having a concussion, _really_ good meds and a swollen nasal cavity. Really makes it hard to talk like a normal person.

"You're welcome, dove." I hear the sound of his footsteps descending downstairs.

There's silence and I'm still under my bed. I'm confused. If it was Xander he probably would have made a racket with his huge yeti feet and threw out a warm but asshole-ish greeting and asked to see the damage. Chelsea would...well she'd probably tell Xander to shut up and grab my rolly chair and pull it near the bed. Either way the scenerio worked out I still would have heard something. But I hear nothing and it's becoming unnerving. I carefully pull down the covers from my head and peek over the large comfy mass that is my comforter.

There, standing by my open door in a stylish tank top and dark jeans, is Ashley Davies in all her beauty.

Yup. The universe sucks balls. Big ones. And I hope they're all hairy and gross and ...and ugh! I didn't want her to see me like this. All swollen and purply. And I know I don't sound fabulous either.

I make sure my nose is concealed behind the thick blanket as I look at her.

"Hey." Her voice is a whisper, a savored greeting on her lips as a toned arm leans against my door frame, eyes soft and sweet like chocolate. But, it's her smile I've missed. Its not a nose crinkle yet but it's still beautiful.

"Hey." My voice, on the other hand, sounds squished and I hate how it sounds in comparison to Ashley's silken edges.

"Can I come in?" I watch as her hand strokes the wooden frame as she stands straighter.

I blush and nod slowly.

I look down and grip the blanket tighter as she gets closer. Why did it have to be my nose? Broken noses aren't cute. They're not even cute on their own.

"How'd you hear?"

A pause and then I hear the rolly chair by my desk being occupied. "Chelsea called me. Told me what happened."

Since when does Chelsea have her number?

"Oh."

Ashley watches me, expression blank.

"Spencer, why won't you let me see you?" She's not frustrated, just curious.

"Because I'm dithhfigured." Came my muffled reply.

"And yet you look fabulous. Tell us. What's your secret? The people must know."

I grumble under my breath. I don't feel very fabulous. I finally pull the damn comfy thing over my head and wish I could disappear.

"Lots of sarcasm. And hidink u'der a bed sheet for the rest of my life."

"Hiding sounds boring. Come on. I came to see those beautiful baby blues and I'm not leaving till I do." I feel her knuckles dig into and graze my thigh as she tugs on the blanket. After a few more tugs I relent and let her move it.

"Hi." She smiles. "Thought I lost you under there."

"Still here."

"So," She pulls her chair closer to the bed and fingers the blanket between her index and thumb, twisting and folding the material. "What was with the onesided peek-a-boo?"

"Oh. Wuzz thathh what it wuzz called?"

Ashley gives me a pointed look and I cease the jokes.

I manage a frown and sigh through my mouth. Which is also something that sounds odd without nasal access. The things I'm learning about my body.

"My koff ifth the zzzize offf a gwapefwoot."

"Yes but it's a very cute grape fruit." Ashley coos sympathetically, her lips soon turning into a completely irritating smirk and I groan nasally. The action making my inflamed nostrils vibrate slightly and I beg my face not to wince in response.

"Yow dust say'n thathhhh." To my horror...I spit a little.

_Attractive._

Ashley's brows frown in sympathy. "I mean it. Even bloody and bruised you are still the cutest blonde bunny I've ever seen." She punctuates her statement with a soft, whisper of a kiss to the tip of my mangled nose. I want to smile so bad even though I know it'll hurt.

She smirks slowly. "Plus, I kinda find the whole roughed up look surprisingly a turn on.

My head whips up so fast I think I feel my brain doing somersaults. "R-really?" Oh my - there is a God!

"Oh yeah." She purrs. The press of her lips are light and warm as she sprinkles butterfly kisses all over my face. It's nice. Hee. And her hair is beginning to tickle my chin. It's a slow but sweet process. One I wish didn't have to end.

I almost miss it. A gentle press of lips underneath each eye, shooshing the sad bruises and wishing them better. I almost want to cry its so sweet. I feel a coldness and know immediately that she's pulled away. I take a steady breath through my mouth - the only way I can breathe now which is still an adjustment - and lean away, giving us space. She does the same and smiles softly.

"There. Now you have no choice but to get better."

"Magic kizzezz?"

"You know it." She winks and I think my nose is bleeding again but out of sheer happiness. Its silent again.

I hate silence.

"So uh...how wuth your day? I didn't see you in Engwish."

Ashley smiles and gently tucks a piece of blonde hair behind my ear, fingers tracing my jawbone on the way down. I will myself not to soak in the touch and just close my eyes. It's scary how easily she effects me sometimes. But I'll be damned if I'm going to deny that it's true.

"Probably safer than yours." She smirks.

I give her a look that she just smiles at sweetly. "It was slow. I kept wondering how you were all day to be honest. Kyla had me doing all sorts of shit during my breaks so there wasn't much fun to be had I'm afraid."

"Southhz thwell."

She chuckles dryly. "Not really. Kyla has a way of sucking all the fun out of even the most mundane tasks. It's because I think she's secretively evil."

"Southhz logical. Or shezzth dust weally organizzth'd."

_God you sound horrible._

Shut up! Its the tissues in my nose! And just my nose period!

_Well fix it! You sound like a preschooler with a lisp and a bad cold._

Rude.

Ashley shrugs with a smile. "Evil. Organized. It's all awful either way you look at it. I even attempted to sneak away so I could maybe muscle a coffee run out of you but she found me before I could make a break for it."

I gasp. "She's turning you into a despwate woman. She mussst be stopped." I'm trying for the s sound. I'm just hoping fluids don't start flying at my attempt at coherency.

"Maybe later." She grins. "Right now I wouldn't mind just hanging here for a bit if thats cool. Ya know, escape the madness." Her smile is warm and extremely welcome after the day I've had. Is it strange that my life was never nearly this interesting until this play business started?

I give her a small smile. The smallest and safest one I could afford.

"I'm the last person that would deny you..."

I said that out loud didn't I?

_Yup._

Bats.

Ashley beams at my answer as I settle myself more fully on my bed. I pat the space next to me and she complies and lays down in the offered spot. My bed is much smaller than hers - by like a mile - so two people is all my bed can handle at one time. Which means we're pressed together, our sides warming the other without complaint. It's quiet as we face the poster covered ceiling above. I had added a few of my sketches last weekend so it was a bit scattered media-wise. I knew she was looking at it, taking all of it in and I honestly wanted to know what she thought. It's a freaking ceiling and I cared about her opinion of it. Crazy. Then again. I've never tacked pieces of my work up there before and had my crush in my bed examining my ceiling in silence before either.

"Cool ceiling."

I smiled. "Thkksss."

* * *

**Did I mention how sorry I was yet? Well I am. Honest. But now you have this longish chapter so I hope you liked it. Don't worry about Spence's nose. In my mind her break should be 2 to 3 weeks tops. Athe most of theswelling should go down. So no more lispy drunky sounding Spencer anymore. I'm bad at writing lisps and I'm also bad at not ranting about nothing. **

**Shuffin up!**

**Now go and review! O.O**

**ALSO! I hope everyone that had finals (even you Courtney) did awesome and I'm wishing you the happiest Holidays. And if not happy at least full, spoiled and/or content. Eh. Just pick one and roll with it. ;D Peace!**

**- Lil' Miss**


	29. Bored & Bruised

**Hey. Me here. No I'm not dead. Sorry for keeping you waiting. For the last few months there has been, and still is, several worrisome illnesses in my family. My mother is having surgery on the 14th of May and I really needed a distraction. Hence: this. I wish I could say it was born of wanting to write but I needed it. Anyways, I want to thank everyone for sticking with me even though everything has been hectic. I will try to keep this story going, Lord knows I'm not done with it. **

**Thanks to those that wished me well and encouraged me to keep writing. You know who you are. All of it is appreciated.**

**Now! Enough with the mushy stuff. lol.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Doctors are stupid.

Apparently I have a concussion, which, naturally sucks like hell.

And a concussion, as I've come to discover, also scares parents and teachers silly at the mere thought of a dizzy blonde girl returning to school. No idea why. I mean, its not as if once returning home from the hospital, I meant to make the world spin and for the door that totally wasn't in front of me a second before to slam me in the face, and its not like I meant for the cold hard floor to suddenly be there.

Okay so maybe I tripped. Big whoop. How is that any different from my normal routine? That's not out of character people. I run into, over, and through shit like nobody's business. I'm practically a professional at being fucked over by gravity.

So ya know what? Fuck you adults. Fuck you and your rational decisions. There I said it.

Yeah that's basically been my day so far. When I hit the hardwood floor during gym yesterday my head bounced off it. Or at least that's what Chelsea told my mom before we left the nurse's office to go get my face fixed.

Well, there's really no fixing this. My nose, I mean. It's all swollen and red and huge and red and gross. And red. And apparently it's gunna stay that way for at least a week. Ya know, and I was super looking forward to going through my entire life without breaking a single bone. So much for that life goal.

_It's nice to have a dream._

Though its not all bad. Okay, well most of it is but there is a silver lining. Surprisingly.

It's Ashley. God, just the thought of her has me grinning like a moron on a sugar rush. I honestly wasn't expecting a visit from her. Not that I'm complaining. She stayed for well over an hour before it was time for her to go.

She hugged me before leaving. I seriously didn't want to let her go. It was...amazing. Having her in my arms, talking, laughing, simply being near her. It's stupid but all we did was talk and laugh and share stories as we sat cross legged on my bed...but it was still amazing. She managed to make me forget about how hideous I looked and had me laughing. Well, until my ears began ringing a little because of the noise irritating my annoying concussion. She understood that volume was a problem and got quiet as I waited for the room to stop spinning.

I actually wanted to lay down a few times, go to sleep, rest my head but the thought of not being able to talk to Ashley sounded worse. So it didn't become an option.

Then, as we were laughing again, much more softly this time, at whatever stupid thing had come out of my mouth her eyes found their way behind me and brightened a bit. "Do you play?" She had asked.

I had no idea what she was talking about and I answered as such with a confused frown.

She gestures to whatever she finds so fascinating behind my back and I turn. My eyes scan the various clutter I have in the corner. All my art supplies were heaped in and crammed in a vaguely chaotic semblance of order on my work station. Well, what my mother calls my personal land fill I call my work-in-progress station. It was basically a long white desk with drawers beneath on either side of where the person would sit. An interesting looking shelf design rested toward the back against the wall which I had jimmied my desk lamp on in such a way as to create light at the perfect angle. It looked weird how I had it but it served its purpose. The table was able to recline, which was my favorite part about it. Xander set it up for me. Which my mother complained about non stop since he had to take it apart and cut it into specific pieces. Xander is actually brilliant at taking things apart and putting them back together but he had rigged my normal horizontal desk to be interchangeable. Thus letting me do work more effectively so I wouldn't strain my neck.

I blush at my obvious mess.

I was just about to turn and apologize for my untidy room when I saw it.

Oh. That's what she means.

I turn back to her and wish I can shake my head as an answer. But I can't, unless I want to worsen my headache. I stand up and walk over to the corner and grab it carefully by the neck and bring it back with me to the bed.

We settle ourselves as we both examine the love-worn acoustic guitar in my lap.

"It's my Dad's, actually. It was his when he was a teenager. He doesn't play much anymore. Not with this one at least. He bought another one a few years ago and let me have this one. Well, at first it was because I needed it for this random art project I was so eager to do. It required taking it apart and using the different pieces for this sort of mosaic thing I guess." My hair seems to bounce as I chuckle. "I don't know. It sounded brilliant at the time but now it kinda sounds weird. Eventually after having the guitar in my possession for a few weeks...I just lost my motivation for the idea...so I never did it." I smile as I scratch the faded neon blue guitar strap resting on my knee. "I guess...it just didn't feel right...taking it apart I mean." I shrugged.

Ashley nods, her smile gentle and knowing. "I get it. It's your Dad's. Personally, I can never bring myself to donate any of my dad's guitars, even though he has so many. I guess it's just hard thinking of the space it would leave." Her voice becomes wistful and she trails off, her eyes losing their spark, their life as she seems to be stuck in a memory.

I don't interrupt as I watch her for a moment. My lips curve into a slow smile. Thankful that she gets it when I had begun to lose track of the words to explain further.

That...and it also could have something to do with the fact that my dad sang me to sleep with this thing almost every night until I was eight. So, no. I couldn't - I just couldn't do it. A part of him - and a little bit of me too - was in this thing. The memories surrounded it. Held it close and warmed them, saving a spot for when I revisited there later.

I dragged my eyes away from the guitar. Ashley was watching me, smiling softly, a caress of understanding I felt in her eyes.

I inhaled and blinked a little since shaking my head was not the smartest thing to do given my current state.

Wow. She asks me a simple question and I bleed my life story to her.

I blush at my thoughts. "But um to answer your question...no. I don't play. Much." Be honest you Lilly liver! Stop trying to impress her and just tell the truth. I roll my eyes at myself. "Well, okay I don't play at all. In fact I'm pretty sure I'm tone deaf. So playing would just make the morning birds mad as hell and possibly violent."

_Well, that's dramatic._

Ashley laughs. "Oh come on. I'm sure you're not that bad."

I nodded gravely. "Oh trust me. I'm awful. Downright tragic."

"All you need is a few lessons. Nothing a little practice can't cure."

I chuckle, my thoughts somewhat self-deprecating. "Oh yeah and who would be dumb enough to risk their ear drums to tutor me?"

"I guess, I would." Ashley smiled. I paled a little.

Oh.

_Damn. I can't tell if you called her dumb or if she called herself dumb but someone's an idiot._

I look at her, shocked. "Really?"

I just blink at her.

_Oh my shit balls, she just gave us more reasons to hang out with her. Why aren't we jumping for frickin' joy right now?_

Because with my luck jumping would probably lead to brain hemorrhaging.

Ashley takes in my expression with amusement.

"Spencer it's just guitar lessons. We're not spelunking into a bat cave."

Ha. Spelunking. Funny word.

I pry the stupid amused grin off my face and look at her for a moment, becoming serious, my words quiet.

"You don't have to, you know." I don't want her to feel like she needs to just because she's the most obvious choice. Even though I wouldn't care if she was the worst guitar player and was as tone deaf as a rooster with bronchitis, I'd still want her to do it.

Her eyes were soft, an inexplicably warm texture that I wish I could wrap around myself and doze off without a care. "I know. I want to. That is, of course, if you want to."

"Oh I do!" I squeak. I reign in my eagerness with an iron fist and bitch slap it into submission. Cool your shit!

I cough gruffly. "I mean...I do. Ya know if, like, I have time and stuff."

Ashley grins. "Great. This'll be fun."

I smirk, it's small but I manage. "If you say so."

"Oh it's been said." She smirks, her nose crinkling briefly. "And speaking of how right I am," It surprises me how fast she can go from that playful timber and then to... _that_ voice. My heart and I wallow in our commiseration as her tone dips low, and drips with suggestion, encouraging my heart into a frenzy. "Be prepared for a rude awakening. I've been told I can get a little ...carried away when I'm teaching. It's best to just do as I say and ask questions never." The curl of her lips and the twinkle in her eyes make my insides warm and mangily. Oh sweet Jeebus.

Just the thought of ... well the general insinuation - was she insinuating anything? - Guhhh...

_You're hopeless._

So much.

I snort in my throat, which let me tell you feels as pleasant as it sounds. "Is this the part where I call you Mistress?" It's out of my mouth before I can wrangle it in. I want to slap myself so hard but that doesn't seem like the best of ideas.

_Ya think?_

Ashley, for her part, doesn't seem disgusted or creeped out. Actually, she looks... struck, astonished, and dare I even consider, incredibly curious. Amost intrigued, I think. Her brown eyes never look away from me as she bites the corner of her lip, chewing delicately at the soft looking flesh. My eyes zero in on it. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Her lips tilting up.

It's there again. That tingling, anxious feeling, in my stomach. Really, it never really leaves me, but Ashley seems to make it feel even more obvious. Every instinct, every silly hormonal bit of me wants to lean in. Just lean in and kiss her. I want to. Golly do I want to. Yet, I can't help but feel like I shouldn't.

_Or maybe you're just scared._

Or maybe I'm...yeah.

Before I can think about that too long a knock at the door kills the mood in the room. Dad, armed with smiles and kind eyes, pokes his head in the door and tells us that its getting late.

I turn my head and look at the droopy clock on the wall. It's runny looking design reminiscent of Salvador Dalí's famous surreal artwork.

It was getting late. Well, it was only eight-thirty but I'm sure my parents were only trying to limit my excitement for the rest of the day. It's not like I'm going to be getting much excitement anytime soon given that I'm on house arrest for the next few days. Stupid doctors.

But now that we're all caught up to the present, the only excitement I'm experiencing right now is watching dust particles float lazily through the few rays of light streaming in from my curtains.

I'm. Bored.

I'm pretty sure I would have found watching the Doodle Bops more enjoyable than this, but sadly, they weren't on this morning. Sigh.

I turn my head to look at the clock and note that its only been five minutes since I last looked at it. Ugh. At this point I'd be gung ho to go to a fricken' dentist appointment. And I hate going to the dentists.

Maybe I'm being dramatic, I don't know.

I wonder what Xander and Chelsea are doing since I'm not there.

Probably making out, I think randomly. I laugh unabashedly at that. Yeah, right.

But even still, those two are like evil geniuses when they're alone together.

I'm kinda wigged at that thought.

The last time I was absent from school I came back and was unknowingly scheduled for auditions for a play that I didn't even know existed until they told me that same day.

I shudder at the thought of what trouble those little sneaks could get into when I'm not there to complain about it. I tilt my head.

Course, complaining and general foot stomping has never really dissuaded them from being irritatingly meddlesome before.

I lose track of time as I slip in and out of unconsciousness. Its only when I hear the door bell ring do I finally shake myself out of it. I grunt and grumble like the tired grouch I am as I force myself out of bed and trudge down the stairs to answer the door.

"See. This is what you get for rough housing." Is the first thing Xander says when I open the front door. Besides being bored all garsh darn day, I am also not in the mood to be teased today. Not when I look like this anyway.

"I'll show you rough housing..." I growl softly.

Chelsea rushes between us, holding her hands up.

"Okay! How about we get you aggressive kids inside before you get blood on the porch. I think Spencer has shed enough, thank you." Chelsea ushers us in; which is funny since its my house, but I don't complain. I'm too tired to point that out to her.

After my friends grab a drink from the fridge and Doritos from the cupboard we make our way to my room.

"Eeesh. Tough break." Xander grins once he gets situated against my headboard, shoes and socks having been tossed somewhere on the floor. Xander yucks and elbows Chelsea with a significant eyebrow wiggle. I swear I can almost hear symbols crashing rhythmically in the distance. Xander's eyebrows, however, already say 'da da ta' without much need for sound effects.

I groan.

"Wow. That was so funny I forgot to laugh." I deadpan. "Oh wait. I guess I didn't...ha."

Chelsea scoffs and smacks Xander on the shoulder, glaring at him disapprovingly. He drops his elbow and winces as he rubs his arm.

Xander just grins. "Still worth it."

Chelsea sighs and folds her arms.

I pout. "You really want me to kick you out, don't you? Say the word and your wish is my command."

Xander laughs and I almost complain about the volume but refrain. It's not like I was enjoying the silence when I was sitting in my room alone. God that sounds sad.

"My wish huh? Can I get that in writing."

"Fuck you. My deformity is no laughing matter!" I huff.

"Oh come on! You can hardly see it...that much..." Xander tilts his head as he scrutinizes my face. I frown and cover my nose with my hand.

"Stop staring at it." I hiss.

"Sorry man. It's kinda ...hard not to. Damn that thing prolly has its own climate. I think we discovered a new land, ladies and germs."

Chelsea smacked his chest. "Stop it." She chastised. Xander's smile falls a bit.

"The doctor said the swelling would go down in a few days. So ...lay off." I mumbled miserably.

Xander grimaces, his eyes sympathetic. "Sorry. I don't mean anything by it. You know you still look gorgeous. I'm just messing."

I look at him for a moment and then nod. "I know. I'm just...I feel like I'm going insane." I say as I hold the side of my head carefully, wishing the meds could take away the feel of the pulsing thump thump thumping of the evil little men that were hammering away at my skull. I feel more than hear a pained sound escape my throat. My patience has been wire thin all day. "I'm always tired and my head is always throbbing." I grunt with a pout and notice as I look up, with slight embarrassment, that both my friends' expressions soften. I'm whining and I need to stop. Like right now.

I grunt and look away.

Needing a change of subject I ask about what's been going on at school during my absence. Even though its been a day a lot can happen in a few short periods.

My friends jump into an entire discussion about how Pitts started blubbering in the halls when the new teacher offered him a hello this morning. Later Chelsea supplied that the new teacher was Ms. Wyler and Pitts was sweating more than usual after the exchange. I cringed and nodded at the right moments. I asked offhandedly, maybe too casually, how Ashley was. However, the knowing grins I got for my efforts made my face burn.

Xander mentioned that she had asked about me and that she had said hi.

"She looked like she wanted to say more but I think passing along dirty how-are-you's to your studly male best friend was pushing it. Poor girl. Personally, I wouldn't have minded." Xander says with a shrug.

I smack his leg. "Pig."

He grins innocently. "Hey. I'm just being honest. Can't fault a guy for honesty."

"I can if your being that honest about my -" I clamp my mouth shut and shove the possessive words down with brute force.

Xander grins, very amused. "Your...?" He drawls.

"Forget it."

"No come on."

"No forget it. Just drop it."

"Xander leave her be."

Xander rolls his brown eyes, his eyes still smiling as his lips fight a smirk.

Chelsea tells Xander that they should be leaving soon. I can practically feel my limbs sag like dead weights at the mention of them returning to school. I should be there.

The sound of Chelsea's soft voice reminds me that I'm not alone, at least for now.

"By the way, remember that redhead from gym?"

My ears perk up at that immediately. My eyes narrowing.

"You mean the suspiciously aggressive one that pile drove a volleyball at my face? That redhead?"

The girl didn't even flinch at my suddenly hostile tone. "Well yeah. Though I doubt she meant to -"

"So. Who won anyway?" Xander interjects curiously, unhelpfully, might I add.

"The ball." I reply flatly.

Though I think it only fouled off my face, I think sourly.

I grunt at Xander's boisterous laughter.

Chelsea, always the peacekeeper, tries to calm the conversation.

"It was an accident. The girl even apologized for the whole thing."

Before I can micro-manage every high pitched inflection of my voice, my tone, my goddamn unnecessary volume, I'm shouting. "You spoke to her?!" I shriek, my words echoing painfully in my ears.

Chelsea's words are slow, cautious as she watches me. "Yeah. She even asked how you were doing."

"Lies! All of it. She hates me Chelsea. Cunt! Remember when I told you that she called me a cunt! Or have you forgotten that glowing detail recently?" I'm so mad I could spit; and I think I probably did after that rapid-fire swear storm.

Chelsea sighed. "No Spencer, I didn't forget. But I didn't know it was her when you- "

My eyes are wide. "Cunt, Chels!"

"Spencer, could you possibly lower the volume? I don't think the rest of LA heard you yet."

I know how loud I am goddamnit!

"It needs to be heard. This chick is evil, Chels! She's freaking nuts! Nuts I tell you!"

The only male in the room snorts loudly from his place against my pillows. "She's not the ooonly oooone." Xander sing-songed under his breath.

My eyes snap to him, wide and furious. "What was that?!"

"Nothing oh God don't hurt me!" Xander cowers under his hands, flinching away from me.

I huff and turn back to Chelsea.

"I'm serious, Chels. She's bad news. It only took a hairline fracture to finally figure it out but I'm a believer."

Why can't she see the danger here? I mean, hello, example A sitting right here. Please lets all take a moment to direct our attention to the mangled blob at the end of my face as reference. My nose didn't bludgeon itself.

Chelsea purses her lips as she contemplates something. Eventually her brown eyes flick to me.

"Okay, fine. Let's just say for hypothetical purposes and because you're scaring Xander...that you're right...about this-" She gestures.

"Psychopath." I supply.

"I was going to say _girl_ but whatever moves the conversation along..." Chelsea sighs. "So this-"

"Psycho." I interject helpfully. You're welcome.

"_Girl_ is out to get you...why exactly?"

I shrug and cross my arms, angry face firmly in place. Okay, firmly is an exaggeration. It's mostly hanging precariously since my face is beginning to hurt.

"Because she's a crazy motherfucking bitch and I got the lead before she did."

Chelsea looks skeptical. "That's it? No 'years ago my great great great grandpa ran over their family dog and now she's sworn revenge'?" Her hands gesture ridiculously in the air and I look at her like she just sprouted two heads... out of her nose.

"When has that ever happened? Like ever?"

"When has your situation _ever happened- _"

"Now! It's happening right fucking now! Are you even listening to this conversation?"

Chelsea looks bemused. "Yes and now I'm starting to wonder why."

"Because a crazy lady is out to get me!"

"Oh, right. That. Okay," Her eyes closed as she breathed noisily for a second, my eyes burning enviously while she inhales and exhales like a normal human being. Opening them again once she was done with her impromptu breathing exercise, she looks at me. "First of all. You need sleep. You look like you just went five rounds with a semi."

I scoff. "I can't help it if these bruises make me look like a demented raccoon wannabe."

Xander snickers and I slap the top of his naked right foot, making him squeal and pull his legs protectively to him, mumbling a curse and words like 'uncalled for' and 'so unladylike' under his breath. Chelsea and I ignore him.

Chelsea groans loudly. "Thats not what I - I didn't mean it like that, okay? I meant you just look tired."

I sigh through my mouth and look away. Suddenly feeling more drained than I have all day. Sooner than I would have liked, it's time for them to go. The three of us grudgingly get up, Xander, I notice taking more care than needed to lace up his boots and secure them under his pant legs. Chelsea busied herself with folding the quilt that had fallen on the floor sometime last night and placing it with care on the end of my bed.

I tell them to grab a drink on the way out and they smile gratefully. Before long we're back on my porch. I sigh and fold my arms against the California breeze.

"So I'd hug you but I've already been threatened bodily harm more than once today. I don't want to chance it." Xander smiles and dips his head in acknowledgement instead.

"Whatever." I chuckle throatily.

"If he won't, I will." Chelsea smiles and hugs me tightly from the middle. I hug her just as fiercely and eventually break away.

"Gross." Xander mutters.

"So this is what love feels like?" I mused.

Xander grins. Chelsea, however looks suddenly stern. I don't like stern at this moment.

"No crazy conspiracy theories about this Amanda chick while we're away."

"I make no promises, mom." I say evenly.

"I'm being serious now. The ..._issue_ at hand sounds ...vague. I mean you know I'll always support you Spence but right now you're standing here with a concussion and you're probably tired and really confused. Its normal in your condition. I've even had one when I had that freak biking accident. Its easy to get things mismatched and out of order. I'm not saying you're crazy-"

"We aren't?" Xander side whispers.

Chelsea continues like she hadn't heard him. "I'm saying take a day and just stop. Stop thinking and relax and be well. Recover and come back to school and be healthy. Alright?"

"Yeah but-"

"Over analyzing a look until you're pulling your hair out is so not productive. Nor is it good for your roots." Chelsea points out.

I feel like I can't grasp anything in this conversation. "But-"

My best friend sighs. "What I'm trying to say ...is whether I believe or not I have your back." My face falls despite her well intentions. "But my job right now is making sure you get rest. So get your skinny white ass in that house and get some motherfucking sleep, bitch." Her soft demand is said so warmly and without any trace of frustration or malice. It's so Chelsea that I almost wish she hadn't said anything at all. Maybe that would have been better than hearing how much she doesn't believe me. That she thinks I'm simply exaggerating the situation because of my stupid concussion. I hate the fact that I almost understand her logic.

I note with embarrassment that my eyes begin to sting. God. I'm so tired and frustrated I want to cry. This is so stupid.

"You always do know what to say to make a girl feel better." I deadpan.

"What can I say. I'm a charmer." Chelsea doesn't smile, even though its something I would expect her to do. Unless she noticed the tears hanging for dear life on my lashes. Xander looks uncomfortable as he looks hard at his phone. With shame in my gut, I have my answer.

"Clearly." I murmur.

They leave.

After a quick word with Glenn, my shaky legs carry me to my room and I crawl into my bed and just cry until I finally exhaust myself completely.

* * *

By now its well past time for school to be over and I'm home alone and sufficiently bored. Glenn left to do...something. I forgot what he told me.

I tried drawing but after an hour of that and squinting my eyes for so long as I caressed the sketch paper lovingly with my pencil and carefully etched details where they were needed, my headache came knocking on my cranium with a persistence that made me groan softly.

I rubbed my temples as I looked at my unfinished work.

Ashley's soulful eyes stared back me, twinkling with mischief and life. They couldn't compare to the real thing by any means but it was familiar and it gave me a comfort that quelled my loneliness for a moment. I needed a reprieve. Everything has been speeding up lately with no signs of stopping. And life seems to only be getting faster. I can hardly keep up. Life up until any talk of this play had been normal, continuous, always moving, always one step in front of the other. As life tends to be, but lately, it's like it's running, sprinting away from me and giggling playfully as it looks over its shoulder to see me lagging behind. I don't know how it got that far ahead of me or how I could possibly catch up to it now that it was only a dot in the horizon; but I would keep coming. I wouldn't stop.

I chuckle, it's gurgled and muffled as it leaves me once my thoughts finally register. Look at me getting all introspective. Oprah'd be proud.

Giving up on my current project for now I brush my art supplies unceremoniously off my bed with a lazy brush of my arm and then set my closed sketch pad gently on my side table. Eh. I'll clean all that up later. Or a week from now when I'm not an invalid.

_Lazy._

Very.

I lay my head back against my comfy pillow and sigh softly as I close my eyes, the lids falling over my blue irises with an almost resounding clang. In my mind its loud and obvious, and yet so incredibly satisfying I find myself smiling, if only slightly.

My headaches are sporadic but they're there. And they're annoying as all hell. But the constant urge to just stop what I'm doing and find a comfy place to doze on any cold hard floor I happen to be standing on rivals my need to complain as much about those symptoms.

I'm constantly tired. A lag that I simply can't shake. It's in the marrow of my bones, a heaviness that I can't seem to lessen. My eyelids feel heavier than forcing a steel door open with your pinky finger.

I've already napped for an hour sometime around early 11. Glenn had thankfully woken me up promptly like I asked him to. And after Chelsea and Xander left, I had managed another hour until Glenn woke me up again. But all I want is to crawl right back to unconsciousness and extend my stay. I'm tired damn it.

My eyes hold a constant dull sheen - though that could be the meds too - as my lids are leveled at half mast.

I probably look like shit, and yet, I couldn't care a flippin' fudge bar right now.

And the doctor said I shouldn't indulge in my drowsiness. But I could care less what the doctors think right now. They're not the ones totally exhausted right now for no reason.

Distantly, I hear the house phone ring. I should probably go get that.

After another chorus of ringing I remember that Glenn's not here and I push up from my bed and trudge down the hallway to the phone.

**_RINNNNNGGG!_**

"Alright alright! I'm comin'! Hold yer Kool-Aid!"

Taking a calming breath and releasing the grogginess and general unhappiness from being roused with a nasally exhale, I answer.

"Hello, Carlin residence." I answered pleasantly.

It was silent on the other end.

I pulled the phone away from my cheek to check if it was being a bastard and turned itself on mute again. It does that every so often. Because it's a bitch.

Hmm...nope. No mute and the screen is stilling counting up the length of the call. I put the phone back to my ear with a frown.

"Hello?"

All I could make out was the sound of someone breathing on the other end. I scrunched up my face, nasal pain included and mouthed a 'Oh hell no' as I glared at the wall.

"Okay listen perv, I have your number on my caller ID and my dad is a cop so you better not call-"

"What?! Oh my God I am so sorry! I didn't hear you answer till you said that. My total bad."

I felt my brow rising incredulously.

"Kyla?" I looked at the number again. Yeah it was still unfamiliar.

The bubbly voice on the other end starts shooting out words at rapid fire. "Well this is not how I planned this phone call. It was supposed to be clean and friendly. Of course the tension would be almost stifling at first but it wasn't supposed to be this awkward. And this time it's not even your fault. Not that there's anything wrong with you being painfully awkward or anything."

"Kyla!" I exasperated. I had been repeating her name monotonously for the past two minutes. God this girl did not have an off switch. I wonder if Ashley wished her sister was born with a mute button like a I wish Glenn was born with a hygiene button. And I do, every night before I go to sleep. I'm still waiting for it to happen.

"Wait don't hang up!" I raise an eyebrow at that.

I wasn't going to but that would have been a really good idea. Too bad I didn't think if it sooner.

I shift my weight to my other foot as I cross my arm over my stomach. "Fine. What can I do for you Kyla?" My words are flat as I stared hard at the wall.

"I wanted to do this in person, I mean, this _should_ be done in person but I wasn't sure if it would be appreciated if I came to your house to do this. I mean I certainly wouldn't appreciate it if I was in your position. Not that there's anything wrong with having your face flattened by a volleyball and living to tell the tale. Um wait, that didn't come out right."

"No it didn't but its fine." I say.

"No it's not. It's so totally unfine. It's like the un-est of fine as far as situations go. Fine shouldn't even be in our vocabulary at this point. Fine should be on a one way trip to Guam right now. And I don't even know where Guam is but it sounds far so I'm guessing its somewhere over the equator-"

"Sweetie, you're rambling."

There's a crackle of exhalation. "Right. Sorry. Okay so I called to apologize for the other day. I was a dick. A major fucking asshole and I'm sorry for those things I said. Had I known you were there -" There's a slow heavy sigh on her end. "Well that doesn't really matter. The point here is I shouldn't have said those things to begin with and I apologize for that."

I find myself shrugging at no one. "It's okay Kyla. Alls forgiven I guess."

"For reals?" Her shock is obvious, even over the phone.

"Yes. For realsies." I even smile as I say it so she can hear it.

"EEEEEEEEEEEE! Oh my God that's great news!" I can practically hear her bouncing on the other line.

"Isn't it?" I say as I finger my ear with a wince. Holy friggin' shit. Are my ear drums bleeding?

"It is! I'm so happy you said that. I seriously thought you were going to be mad at me forever. I know Ashley's still pissy at me. And that girl can hold a grudge, let me tell you." She makes a noise as she laughs. I hum as I listen.

"But anyways, this is probably mondo bad timing but I feel I should ask."

Even in my drugged up addled brain I know where this is going.

"Yuh-uh." I stare up at a spot on the wall as my arm over my stomach seems to tighten. I should have expected this. A part of me actually did.

"But I was hoping that our little tiff hasn't changed your mind about the play."

_Tiff she says, ha I say._

I pull the phone from my ear as I sigh. I said I forgave her or whatever, so that's what I need to do. Snarktastic remarks aren't helping make that believable.

_Even though she kinda deserves them._

Exactly.

_Being nice is no fun at all._

Tell me about it.

I hear my name being called distantly from the phone that I had pressed to my chest. Putting it back to my ear I force my voice to be more pleasant.

"Yeah maybe. I mean, my nose is still ...well, purple so I don't know if-"

"Oh hun that's what make-ups for. Girl a little coat of foundation, a little blush and your skin will look as clear and pure as the day you were born."

I'm pretty sure I was all blotchy and pink when I was born but I get the gist.

"Uh ok."

"Great! So I'll e-mail you the rehearsal schedule. We had a meeting yesterday but well, you weren't here - but like, it's totally cool and stuff."

"Thanks." Her eager tone makes me grin slightly.

"Oh it's no trouble. It's the least I could do after-"

"Kyla, drop it. I've already forgiven you okay. I just ... kinda want to forget this whole mess."

"Gotcha. Say no more."

"Great."

"Oh and by the way, I totally don't care about what happened the other day." She chirps.

"Um... okay?" I frown.

"Not that I would care that you're hot for my sister. It's actually wonderfully dramatic when you really think about it. I mean, acting like you're in love with Misty slash Ashley probably won't be necessary since, ya know, you are."

My heart stops completely.

"Um... there's a point to this right?" I can't keep my voice from shaking. This is not a conversation I thought of having with Kyla. Ever. True it may be. Either way, it's not like I want that news to be fanned around and aired all over the place. I'd like to keep my ragingly obvious attraction to Ashley Davies as tight-lipped as possible. For now that is.

"My point, my dear love struck star, is I don't hate the idea."

That shocks me to the core.

"You ...you don't?"

"Nope. Not really. I mean, sometimes I even think Ashley could be into the idea but then again, I've never seen her show interest in any girly parts that weren't her own so... yeah. Good luck with that."

_Jeez. And I thought Amanda was discouraging._

I know right.

"Oh um. Yeah, cool. Thanks... I guess."

"It was no problem. I'm rooting for you Spence. I'm sure she likes you too."

"Yeah." My words feel choked in my throat, halted and unsure. It feels like someone stabbed my heart without me noticing and now the delayed pain is finally registering and making my muscles shiver.

"What?" She's after my silence.

"It's just...the way she..." I trail off here. Suddenly feeling like I'm right back to square one with Kyla's sister. Her incredibly confusing sister.

"Sucked face with you? Yeah that was surprising for sure. Definitely makes you wonder." She replies thoughtfully.

It's silent, uncomfortably so, well maybe that's mostly on my end.

"Well anywhoosie!" I blink at her randomness that surely rivals my own. "I better get back to rehearsals. Which is probably going to be mostly diva coddling and less work. Ugh. I swear if Amanda throws another chair I'm going to make her eat her script." Kyla grumbles.

That snaps me out of it.

"Wait, what about Amanda?"

"Hmm. Oh she's just in a foul mood today. Like really foul. Yesterday she was all hunky dory you'd swear she had won an Emmy or something. But today she's unusually bitchy."

I ponder that. Her mood yesterday makes sense, making her competition bleed all over the place I guess would do that. Ya know if you were psychotic. But I wonder what happened today?

"Do you know what upset her?" I ask, already feeling like I'm pushing my luck.

"If I had to guess I bet it's because of the fight after lunch."

My eyes widen. "Fight. What fight?"

"Her and Madison Duarte totally beat the shit out of each other. I heard it was epic."

I gaped. "What?"

"I know! I didn't even know Madison knew Amanda. People said they heard arguing in the girls bathrooms, ya know the ones by the art building."

The one Amanda cornered me in. I rolled my eyes.

"Lots of shouting and such. Really Desperate House Wives material, you know. Then Amanda comes charging out and Madison follows and then boom - cat fight."

"Just like that?"

"Well no. I'm sure there was awesome build up. I was with Andi at the time so I didn't see it. Ashley saw it though."

I pause before asking my next question. "Do you know what the fight was about?"

"Nope. Probably vicious kitty's marking their territory or something. Probably PMSing at the same time. Who knows?" Kyla sounds irritated that she didn't know all the details either.

"Huh."

"The stuff you miss, girly. I seriously don't envy you." Kyla chuckles and I smile weakly even though she can't see it.

"Well anyways I really need to get back out there before these crazy monkeys break something. We have a long way to go before the sets are finished but we're getting there." She says excitedly. "I'm glad we could work things out Spencer. Get well soon, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks Ky."

She hangs up and I'm left contemplating what I just heard.

I blink, dazed. Well, that was interesting.

A fight? I'm absent for one day and there's a fight. And not just any fight but a fight between two of my not so favorite people. Could it just be coincidence? I put the phone back on its cradle and return to my room.

It has to be. I'm not that special.

I lay softly on my bed with a frown.

But still, Madison should watch out for Amanda.

I grunt at the thought.

I can't believe I'm defending Madison of all people, but between the two she is definitely the lesser of two evils. And Amanda is _eeeevil_.

I don't know if I should be relieved or worried that I'm not the only one on Amanda Wallace's radar.

* * *

**Oooh. Drama. So there you have it folks. Took me a bastard long time but its up. :) Reviews are incredibly encouraging. Its definitely what helped me get my butt in gear these last few days.**

**Also Happy Mother's Day you guys! **

**P.S. Editing is awful. I hate it. I'm sure I left mistakes but I stopped editing at 3 AM last night so yeah. If there's mistakes don't tell me. I'll get to it at some point.**

**- Lil' Miss**


	30. An Idiot's Guide

**Sorry for the wait. Thankfully a few of you have been sending me PM's and 'Why have you forsaken us!' reviews and well... guilt is a surprisingly effective motivator. ;D So thanks for that. ****Also thanks so much for those that sent me well wishes about my mother's surgery. It went well. Thank God. :) **

**Plenty of Spashley in this chapter. Lots of it too.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Five days later...

The mornings were slowly becoming more bitter. No where near Ohio fall weather, but it was definitely brisk. Unfortunately King High looked no different.

It's like I never left, is the first thought I notice when I make my way to my locker. Its just like every other day. That thought is in no way comforting. I was debating whether to come back to school decked out in a football helmet and Kevlar, for safety purposes of course, _my_ safety, but Glenn managed to convince me otherwise.

And he also hid his Ohio State football helmet when I went looking for it after promising that I wouldn't.

What? I had my fingers crossed. So it doesn't count.

At least he offered to walk with me to school this morning. So I guess he doesn't completely suck donkey spheres today. Speaking of donkeys...

"So I see you decided to put your make up on in the dark this morning." Xander replied casually, gesturing with a lazy finger to the prominent bruising under my eyes once I got near my locker. My eyes narrowed only slightly.

"Outta my way you." I said with a chuckle as I shoved his arm lightly to get him away from my locker.

Xander grinned slightly and moved aside, coming to rest his shoulder against the locker next to mine.

"Ashley know you're back?" The sudden question had my body going rigid.

Wow. He doesn't waste any time does he?

I paused, my hand stilling in the air as it reached for a textbook I would need. A warm pleasant fluttering tickled my innards at the mention of her. I shook it off and closed my fingers around the book, tugging it free.

"I don't think so. Mom took my cell couple days ago. 'No distractions,' she said." I scoffed. "And then my laptop magically disappeared the next day. So I stole Glenn's." I shrugged.

Xander nodded, accepting my answer as if he had expected that reasoning the whole time. "Your laptop? Really?"

"That's overbearing for ya. I wouldn't have been surprised if she confiscated my art pencils and every loose piece of paper in the house if she thought she needed to."

"Oh. That's just cold." He squeaked playfully, adopting his gay sailor accent. He does that a little too well.

"How ya doing by the way?"

"I'm fine." I say automatically. Because I am. I'm just dandy.

"Said the girl who got bludgeoned in the face by a little ball-"

"A very mean ball!" I interject unnecessarily. Though Xander continued like he didn't hear me.

"And then shouts and claimed that a foul mouthed ginger was out to get her."

"Now you're just being rude."

"I'm just stating facts."

"I'm fine." I repeat. "And she_ is out to get me_." I murmured petulantly as I fiddle with my combination lock.

He jerks a nod with a tilt of his head and crosses his muscled arms over his chest.

"I believe you. I'm just pointing out how crazy you sound. There's a life lesson to be learned here." He intones sagely. It just makes me want to bludgeon my fist into his face. Bludgeon. Pfft. I'll show him bludgeoned!

I glance at him skeptically from the corner of my eye.

"Wha- you believe me?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I? Well, I mean, yeah, you did sound crazy as hell the other day but why would you lie? Exaggerate? Maybe. But lying is something you've never been really good at." He states with a grin.

I grumble a few mean words under my breath. I'm not sure to take that as a compliment when it sounds so much like an insult.

"And yet, Chelsea still called me insane."

"She did not." He drawled with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Coulda fooled me! What, when she was blaming my concussion, which let me remind you that Amanda _gave me_, and then blamed exhaustion, which hey! Look at that! Amanda was cause for _that_ too!"

"Snarky aren't we?" He says, but he's not smiling anymore.

"I'm serious!"

"I know. Chelsea is... Chelsea is just a very rational creature. Like a sexy endangered grizzly bear. I think it's cute but it can get pretty annoying sometimes, I'll admit."

"No kidding." I grumbled.

He rolls his head to the side to look at me.

"You know she loves you and stuff. She honestly thought it was your concussion that brewed the whole story. I mean, come on. Ya gotta admit, ya sounded just a little nutty that day." I'm not liking this pattern; Xander's here, defending Chelsea but Chelsea's nowhere to be found to look sincere and tell me he's right. Why does that hurt so much?

"Maybe." I don't offer anything after that and Xander sighs.

"To be totally honest, I think she just doesn't want you to be right. I mean, if its true, then that means there's someone serious about hurting you. She may not give much away when it comes to feelings and such, but she gives enough. And it helps that I've known her since kindergarten. She just wants to be sure. It's also why she's not meeting us this morning."

"Why? Where is she?"

Xander just grins mysteriously. "Around. I'm sorry miss, that is all I can disclose for right now."

I shake my head. Figures. Those two and their... Whatever it is they're doing.

I glance down the hallway past Xander in time to see Sherri and her merry band of minions saunter and strut their plastic stuff down the hall, the crowd of teenagers parting for them. Madison isn't leading the pack. She's not even in the pack. Did she even come to school while I was gone? I bite my lip anxiously as I stare blankly into my locker.

I'm wondering about Madison again. About the fight that Kyla told me about over the phone.

If Madison really isn't here today, does that mean Amanda isn't either? Tentative hope bubbled up inside my chest. That would just be too much of a relief, right? Maybe she got expelled. Maybe they realized what a raving maniac she is and sent her out of the country to insure the safety of her fellow peers.

Or maybe she got hit by a bus...

Stop smiling. That would be awful!

_Not really._

I shake my head.

But what really happened to Madison and Amanda? Doesn't fighting result in like, expulsion or whatever? Mind you, I am talking from zero experience here. If Amanda were to get expelled, however I sadly, so very sadly, doubt it, that would mean Madison would get the same punishment, right? Shouldn't I be more happy about that part of the situation? That would mean Madison would be gone, never to bother me and call me names, or irritate me ... or confuse me...

I blink harshly.

No. Expulsion sounds too extreme, I think. I mean, as far as I know Madison's never actually gotten into it like this with someone before. I mean she's threatened to with me countless times, but like I said, she never delivers. Ever.

Well, I guess not ever. Obviously.

And why am I defending Madison of all people? When did I become the person who gave a flying flip if Madison came out of a bloodfest with all her limbs and working parts? Or- or if she'll even be back at school again?

Lordy. That last thought alone fills me with more anxiety than my stomach can handle right now.

Grrr! My brain!

The tense words of, "Are you sure you're alright?" snap me out of my musings.

I groan for what feels like the thirty thousandth time. Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm fine. "I swear if you ask me that again I'm going to pants you where you stand."

Xander scoffs good-naturedly and bumps my shoulder. "I'm just adopting the concerned best friend role. Lighten -"

My index finger shoots up between us.

"And if you tell me to lighten up, get that stick out of my ass or any other variation there of one more time..." I let the threat hang for dear life between us, the obvious implications startling against my current appearance. I wasn't fooling anyone. I doubt a group of baby ducks would swim in terror if they saw me. They'd probably laugh...like ducks.

Those bastards.

Xander just grins. "You'll what? Threaten to lift my shirt and flash my training bra to the entire student body." He scoffs, waving me off lazily. "Been there, done that. Burned the t-shirt."

I squint my eyes in frustration. "Sometimes slapping you just isn't enough."

Xander looks at me, grinning that dazzling lazy smile I've noticed other girls swoon over. "That's when I know I'm doing something right."

I roll my eyes.

"So," I drawl, finally turning to face him. But secretly I want to see his expression and everything it can tell me that I'm sure his words won't. "Anything happen while I was away?"

Xander puckers his slightly pink lips, his chin dimpling as he shakes his head and humming in the negative. But it's his eyes that tell me more. His eyes are looking up and away from me; actually they won't look at me at all.

"Mmm... Nope. Nothing I can think of." He replies absently.

"Really?" I ask with a seemingly curious tilt of my head.

"Nothing um... comes to mind." He coughs in his fist lamely.

And he says I'm a bad liar.

"Uh-huh." I watch him carefully.

"Um..." I roll my eyes.

"Oh can it Xander. I already know."

His whole body tenses. He looks horrified, as if he had unknowingly broken some unspoken code.

"You - wait you do?"

"Yes. I do."

His brow furrows deeply.

"And- and you're not mad?"

"I- no. Wait what? Why would I be mad?"

Now he looks confused, and so do I for that matter.

"Because of what we did?"

"What you- hold on. What are you talking about?" My brow creased severely. My friend eyes me for a moment, his gaze darting up and down and all over my face carefully, before narrowing suspiciously.

"What are _you_ talking about?"

"The fight." I enunciate slowly, making his eyes bulge in understanding, nodding, and looking extremely relieved.

"Oh. That's what I was talking about too."

"Uh-huh." I nod, not believing him for a second. "Whatever Xander."

"What? I totally was."

"Just stop talking."

"I think that's a good idea." He grins to himself as he busied himself by messing with his phone; end of conversation.

I frown but file that weird conversation in a drawer to analyze later. Right now I just wanted to get through first period.

It's silent for a few minutes but I don't really notice. I'm too deep in my thoughts to notice much.

The sound of metal on metal screeches against my ears and I blink. Xander's trademark Army jacket with the aesthetic studs on the shoulder scrape annoyingly against the locker and I sigh.

His smile from earlier disappears, and I'm left there rummaging through my locker for a book I know isn't there.

"Level with me Spaz. This is sensitive Xander talking here. The asshole is miles away eating a bag of Cheetos and wiping his orange fingers all over the place."

I grin a little at that image, knowing he's recalling a time when he actually had done that and wiped his Cheetos laden fingertips all over my bed spread because I insulted his taste in movies.

Which are awful, by the way.

"So seriously, what's up?"

I sigh and look into my locker for a silent moment, knowing that Xander wasn't likely to budge from this. I sigh again, I'm doing that a lot today, and then turn to him, and lower my voice enough to keep this conversation somewhat private.

He leans in too, getting the hint.

"Okay. Ya know that fight from the other day? The one between Madison and that...that-" I clamp my teeth around the angry words. Swallowing the insult feels like I'm chugging nails, rusty ones, but I manage to screw what I'm sure is a sour expression back to passive.

Xander raises his eyebrow and waits for me to go on.

"Amanda..." I finally grit out. Even her name leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

"Yeah. What 'bout it?"

"Well, don't you think its weird that-" Xander's head shoots up suddenly.

"Heeeey _Ashley_! Lovely seeing you here!"

I choked on my words and swiveled around. And lo and behold, there was Ashley, dressed in another stylish tank top that looked like it was only holding together by leather laces and safety pins and dark wash cut-off shorts. Her hair was left down, just like I loved it, chocolate curls tumbling down around her tan shoulders and shining in the early morning sun. Her make up was slightly dark, not overly, and it went well with her outfit.

My heart clapped happily at the sight of her.

"Wow!" Xander shouted suddenly, moving away from the lockers and backing up quickly. "Gosh, ya know I just remembered. I have this- thing. Yeah a thing. I better go...with the thing. Bye!"

I grinned softly once I realized what he was doing.

"Have fun with your thing!" I yelled after him.

Xander flipped me off as he turned around and walked away. I smirk after Xander and shake my head, turning my gaze back to Ashley who was watching me intensely. We just stood there silently, smiling softly at each other, taking in the other's expression. Why am I blushing? She didn't even say anything! I bow my head shyly, allowing my hair to shield most of the neon red of my cheeks.

"Hey." She rasps softly. God. It feels like forever since I've heard that voice. It still makes my heart jump the same way. That hasn't changed either.

"Hi." I mutter. My eyes flick up to her for a moment before another blush explodes across my cheeks.

She resumes the spot where Xander had been, toned shoulder leant against cool metal.

"How ya been?" She's the one to start the conversation, as usual. I smirked softly at the familiar question, though I wasn't as peeved when it was Ashley that was asking it.

"Okay, I guess. Not winning any beauty pageants anytime soon but I'll live." I joke.

Ashley grins.

"Lucky for them. They wouldn't stand a chance against you."

Cue the blushing.

"Stop it. You flare my ego up any more and it'll never fit inside a classroom." Ashley laughs at my fake whining, her eyes smiling and bright.

"Ya know, I don't think I will." She winked. "Way too much fun. Besides, I like flaring your ego up."

"At this rate the other students will be lucky to make it out alive at the end of the period."

"It'll just make Monday more exciting." She quips.

I love our banter.

"They'll probably all suffocate and die." I offer.

"Fuck 'em." She grins, her lips curling so deviously that my stomach tightens in a way that is honestly not totally unpleasant. Why is the sound of her cussing such a tummy twister? I mean, seriously. That's just...that's not fair.

Ashley, God bless her, winks at my sad impression of a blonde tomato. Not helping.

"Anything interesting happen while I was out of commission?" I ask, changing subjects.

Ashley's still grinning but she takes the hint and nods.

"Yeah. I guess you could say that."

"Amanda and Madison?"

She tilts her head, curiously, though she doesn't look at all surprised.

"So you heard." It certainly wasn't a question.

"Kyla told me."

Ashley nods, again not looking shocked by this. "Insane right? I didn't even know that bitch even knew her." She said with a hint of astonishment. Though a slight joy went through me at the mention of Amanda being a bitch. Did Ashley see the pure unfiltered insanity for what it was in Amanda?

"I didn't even know that psycho was capable of interacting with people outside of the angry voices in her head." I grumbled, without missing a beat. Though apparently 'interacting' included fists and open palmed girly slapping so 'capable' might be stretching it.

Ashley nodded, seeming to agree with my statement.

"You mean the perpetual PMSing voices."

"I mean the nearly homicidal voices. But tomato, potato, I suppose." Ashley smiled somewhat softly at my comment, shaking her head slightly.

"Well the fight was surprisingly brutal. I didn't even know she had it in her." I scoffed at that.

"I did." I murmured under my breath. Not low enough apparently.

Ashley stared at me intently for a moment before her mouth seemed to screw itself into an angry grimace.

"Wait. Did she hurt you? Is she the one that did this to you?"

I paused. Which may have been answer enough but I don't give a verbal one. I won't, I tell myself.

I shake my head, not so much to deny her questions but just, ugh. Like seriously, just ugh. I so did not want to invite Ashley into my drama.

"It doesn't matter. All I know is that I'm just glad she wasn't anywhere near a volleyball when this all went down. Bitch has an arm on her." I replied with a disgusted shiver, refusing the urge to touch my tender nose protectively.

Ashley frowned, her brows furrowing. "Volly- wait what?"

"What?"

Her brows are creased, clearly she's missing something. And so am I. We were talking about the female antichrist ...right?

"I'm talking about Madison. Who are you talking about?"

Apparently not.

The jarring screech of the first bell ringing makes me jump.

My eyes are wide at this bit of information, and suddenly my brain is rewinding the whole conversation in my head, playing it back and inserting Madison as the main topic where I thought Amanda-demon-spawn-extraordinaire had been sitting comfortable and _rightfully_ only seconds ago.

Somewhere in the back, _deeeep_ deep deep in the back, of my jumbled mind a little voice murmurs (whines, stomps its foot like a petulant girl, acts like a brat wanting to be heard) that involving Ashley in this Amanda business is a very bad idea. So bad in fact that a broken nose and raccoon eyes would be the least of my worries. I don't know what else could be worse than walking around looking like the Hamburgler, but its just a feeling. A very whiny, unusual feeling, but there ya go.

"Um... what? No one. Hey, cute shoes!" I point out with such sudden enthusiasm it's totally obvious how fake it sounds coming from me.

"Thanks." She says slowly, her brow creasing even more.

My face is on fire in my embarrassment. "Wow. Well uh... see ya." I wave lamely and slam my locker closed. This time Ashley's the one that jumps and guilt roils in my stomach. But I don't dwell on it for too long and turn to leave.

"Oh uh. Okay...bye." She mutters uncertainly. I can feel her eyes burning into my back as I scurry as fast as my dumbass self can carry me.

That was painful. Stupid stupid stupid...

* * *

It wasn't until gym class that I saw Ashley again. I had a note from my doctor (mother) excusing me from them for the foreseeable future. Eh, I give it a week. Tops. But I wasn't really in the mood to sit on the bleachers for the remainder of class so I essentially skipped and snuck into the Library. Well I didn't really sneak in since Ms Crabbybottoms saw me walk in, growling at me like a rabid pit bull.

Woman has issues. Or rabies.

I had perched myself comfortably on one of the love seats, old book held tenderly between my fingers as I leafed page after page, soaking up its contents.

It wasn't until reaching an exciting part that I felt the uneasy feeling that someone was behind me, the hairs at the back of my neck standing up at attention. Glancing up from the pages and turning my head, my lips nearly caressed soft skin and the suddenness of being that close to something, or in this case: someone, had me jerking back a bit.

"Hey to you too." The person chuckled, obviously amused by my actions. I blushed like a fire hydrant once I realized who it was exactly that I had unknowingly kissed.

I coughed delicately, clearing my throat as I turned back in my seat and taking slow breaths to calm my freaked out chest muscle.

"So what are you reading?" Came the soft question, brown eyes taking in the worn looking book spread over my lap.

"How To Survive High school: An Idiot's Guide'." I joke with a smirk, my tone light and teasing. "I'm convinced that every high schooler has a copy and just didn't tell me. So I'm a little behind."

Ashley grinned at my comment, her eyes bright with amusement as she leant over my shoulder a little more. The heat of her body sunk into my bones that much deeper.

"An idiot's guide, huh?" She murmured warmly.

My smirk grew as I noticed her watching me from the corner of my eye, "Apparently."

The heat felt deeper which was evidence enough that Ashley had moved closer. Brunette curls draped smoothly over my shoulder and tickled my arm. I can literally feel the warm exhale of her breath, smell the scent of Big Red gum that she must have been chewing on earlier and her special brand of perfume that clings to her pleasantly.

"Ya know, for an idiot's guide this is incredibly wordy. I don't even know a handful of these words." She said half jokingly. I felt her eyes on me once she said that and the traitorous blush that followed afterwards, and she 'hmm-ed' at my reaction.

"Hey it's not like I'm any better. I'm just here for the pictures." I joked. "I've had to look up a few when a particular text was getting obnoxiously smart with me." I muttered sounding peeved at the audacity of it all and yet unable to fight my grin at the absurdity of my statement.

"If only that nerdy brick of paper knew who it was dealing with. I doubt it would ever cross you again." She teased, making my cheeks heat up again.

"Damn straight." I muttered playfully making Ashley laugh.

"But seriously, what are you reading?" She asked.

I folded the cover forward, my index finger bookmarking my page as I showed her.

"_Jane Eyre_."

"Any good?"

"Don't know. I just started it. My cousin Kaytlynne swears by it though."

"You a big reader?"

I shrug. "I used to be. Back when we were living in Ohio, my nose was always face first inside of a book."

"Ohio?"

I grin. "Didn't know I was a hick, did ya?"

She chuckles and shakes her head. "Well you're definitely the cutest hick I ever did meet." She drawls in a smooth southern accent, making me giggle.

"You must say that to all the girls Ms Davies." I tease.

"Only the cute ones." She said with a feather light tap to my healing nose.

Before I can think otherwise I wiggle my nose like a bunny and pay for it with an uncomfortable twinge.

I wince and try and cover my small blunder by leaning forward and forcing my hair to shield my face.

Obviously I'm not as subtle as I had hoped. Which isn't surprising.

Calloused fingers catch my swaying locks and tuck them behind my ear, I almost close my eyes at the warm trail up my cheekbone.

"It looks much better ya know. You heal fast."

"Have you ever -?" I gesture to the front of my nose, indicating to the break.

She smiles as she catches an invisible strand of hair from my temple and tucks it behind my ear, repeating the warm, tender motions from earlier.

"Yeah. When I was little. I was trying to swing one of my Dads guitars over my shoulder like he always did." She winces slightly. "Yeah. That did not go as planned. Broke my nose and had a fret board shaped bruise on my forehead for a good long embarrassing while."

I snort at the image of a young Ashley smacking herself in the face with a shiny guitar, attempting badassness and yet failing, very, _very_ badly. "Aww. That's - that's just..." I bust out laughing. Ashley smacks my arm but I know she's smiling.

"Stop laughing!"

"Oh come on. That's friggin' cute though!"

"You still shouldn't laugh."

"Like you wouldn't if it was me in that situation." I smirk.

She smirks back, doing a better job at the expression than I can ever hope to do. "Not the point."

"Um I think I just made my point."

"Smarty pants." I smirk again before wincing and adjusting my face, dimming my expression a bit.

Ashley, of course, notices. She seems to notice everything.

"Does it hurt? I mean, to move your face." She gestures to her own nose and I have to stop myself from grinning at how adorable she looks. I have no doubt that she already knows the answer but I just shrug, playing it off.

"A little. Not as bad as before though. It kind of just twinges if I move too much."

She nods. Her eyes not as bright as they were before. It was quiet between us for a little while. Comfortable, though. I liked it. But the silence didn't prepare me for the unexpected jolt along my skin. And I had to stop myself from reacting too obviously when calloused fingertips trailed up the inside of my wrist and worked themselves inside my palm, and then threading themselves between my fingers, clasping my hand gently. My heart jogged in place.

"Sit with me at lunch?" Her eyes are hopeful, softly staring and yet so intense in only that way that Ashley can perfect so well as she squeezes my hand.

My body nods without consulting it with my brain first, my long hair bouncing in further answer. "Um, sure. Yeah. I can do that." I internally congratulated myself on saying that without my voice cracking or squeaking, as I smile softly at her. The smile I get in response is well worth the discomfort to my face. It's beautiful when she smiles like that. When she smiles period. God I am such a sap.

"I better get to class." She says, squeezing my hand lightly. She doesn't move though. I curve my lips a little and squeeze back.

"Okay." She grabs her things slowly and stands up, my hand still firmly laced with hers. I'm not the one holding on, it's her that won't let go. I don't even care.

"See you at lunch?" She sounds so cute when she looks so hopeful, big puppy eyes and soft smiles. The fluttering in my stomach was inevitable.

"With bells on." I joke.

She scrunches up her face playfully, pointing her finger at me. "Don't you get smart with me Carlin."

"But its so fun though." I grin.

"Oh you're trouble." She winks as she finally lets go of my hand, taking her warmth with her. "I like it. See ya 'round, Luce." She turns and wiggles her fingers at me over her shoulder as she leaves.

I can't help but grin goofily as I make my own way to my next class.

* * *

Ashley was definitely changing my cynical opinion of Mondays. I don't think I've been this giddy on a Monday before and its only because I've seen her a few times today. And now I'm waiting for her to show up so I can scold my heart for getting excited and reign in my traitorous blushing. Sometimes it sucks being this white. Tan or no tan.

I focus again on the book in my lap so it doesn't look obvious that I'm not reading it. I'm trying to appear like I'm not waiting for her, even though I am. I'm also trying to not look like I'm surreptitiously looking around me to see if Ashley arrives... even though I clearly am.

But even with my sneaky observations and my self-proclaimed ninja skills the warm, raspy whisper next to my ear startles me with a girlish yelp. "Reading again I see."

Damn it! I still didn't see her coming.

I force a small smile on my face and close the book, the bookmark having never moved since I could never read more than a paragraph or two.

"Not really."

I wished we could have had somewhere better to sit but a bench was the best I could find. All the picnic tables were taken or barred from me, so the bench was second best.

"Where's your lunch?" She asks, coming around from behind but not taking a seat next to me. I'm wondering if its too dirty for her. I tried to pick the one that wasn't famous for how many gum wads were stuck to it. This was the best I could do. So far I've only counted nine.

"Oh I didn't bring any money. Kind of left the ten I was going to bring on my dresser. I figured I'd just steal Xander's fries or something to make up for my little goof." I shrug easily. She frowns.

"Until I invited you, you mean. I'm sorry."

I'm not.

I laugh a little at her apology. I know that sounds awful and rude but she looks so remorseful because I wouldn't be able to pilfer my friends properly paid for meal, it was kind of funny.

"I'm not." I say. I'd trade a hundred meals and empty lunches just to hang around her. Stolen cheese fries be damned. Even if they are so, so very good.

Ashley's company was way better.

"I'm not that hungry anyways and besides. We haven't seen each other in awhile. Make up for lost time right?"

Ashley smirks. "That's the general idea."

I look down and notice she's empty-handed.

"And where's _your_ lunch, Miss Davies?"

"Kyla's bringing it. She went off campus."

"Oh."

"I wish I had known you weren't eating. I would have asked her to get you something. Want me to call her? I think she's going to that local deli place down by Adams."

"What? No. No I'm fine. But...thanks though."

"Of course." She says with a soft smile.

It's silent as we look at each other. I'm finding it less difficult to keep eye contact with her. Before it was daunting, almost intimidating, now... now it's easy. Simple. Like, breathing. Or getting the mail. It was just something you did without thought or expectation.

"So...I was thinking." She trails off as she finally sits down next to me, hip to hip, smiling beautifully. I find air stubbornly out of reach, she's so warm and just...there. But lack of oxygen or not, my ears perk up like a golden retriever at the tone of her voice. Why does everything that comes out of her gorgeous mouth sound suggestive?

Oh, that's right. I'm a teenage pervert.

I swallow as subtly as possible. My mouth is suddenly dry and my voice grates as it crawls and struggles up my throat.

"Thinking?" The word is high-pitched and I wince once I hear it. Ashley for her part seems to not notice or just ignores it. Either option fills me with anxiety. She smiles, well, smirks would be a better definition. And God is it a sexy smirk.

_Down girl._

"Yes, I know. Me, thinking? Has to be the sign of the zombie apocalypse." She grins over at me and laughs softly, her arm brushing up against my exposed bicep when she does. Why does she have to wear a tank top today of all days? "Or dangerous." She added and laughs once more when she looks at me. I lick my dry lips without even thinking.

"Yay me." I say weakly, my attempt at smiling faring no better.

Her pink lips curl, her nose crinkling slightly as she watches me. She's quiet as she examines my face intently. I squirm. After what feels like hours which was probably no more than a few seconds, she flicks her eyes away, and clears her throat.

"I was just wondering when you wanted to have those guitar lessons I hear you are in desperate need of?"

"I never said I was desperate."

Desperate for your time and your unwavering attention? Yes. Most definitely. Maybe your lips too if we're negotiating. Which we aren't - snap out of it!

"No. I think your exact words were 'I'm awful. Downright tragic.' And something about homicidal morning birds. I think that calls for desperate measures, don't you?" She smiles again and I feel a warm tingle work up my spine. Oh. She's good.

I eye her uncertainly for a brief moment before shrugging lazily.

Eh. What the hell?

"Desperate times, right?" I say with a slight smile. My nose only twinges a little.

Ashley beams and I find myself not caring at all about my discomfort and urge my lips wider.

"Very. You're in good hands Luce. Don't you worry." She teases with a wiggle of her fingers.

"Who's worrying?" I joke, earning a shoulder bump against my arm from her. I suck in a breath. Tingles. Damn those tingles. I mask the sharp rush of air by coughing, hoping Ashley didn't notice.

Though I really can't tell when she's smiling like that as she watches me.

Well, smirking.

That is definitely a smirk.

* * *

**So how was that? And no I haven't forgotten about that movie date they mentioned a few chapters ago. Spencer was bed ridden over the weekend so they couldn't go through with it. But don't worry, I have something in mind for that. ;D**

******Rehearsals and such should be coming up soon.**

**Anyways, tell me what you think. **

**- Lil' Miss**


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